it may be since the house is paid off that some help could be purchased, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "W. Baker" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Ozgirl > wrote:
>>
>>
>> : "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> : >
>> : > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little
>> food
>> : > they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
>> : > out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
>> : > I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
>> : > to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>> : >
>> : > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
>> : > in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
>> : > the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
>> : > a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
>> : > there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
>> : > how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
>> : > they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
>> : > that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
>> : >
>> : > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
>> : > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now.
>> His
>> : > BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
>> : > tonight.
>> : >
>> : > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
>> : > herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
>> : > brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
>> : > in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
>> : > mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
>> : > something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure
>> I
>> : > do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
>> : > matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she
>> isn't
>> : > capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
>> : > refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
>> has
>> : > my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she
>> freaked
>> : > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
>> : > for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
>> : > think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
>> : > ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things
>> involving
>> : > the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
>> : > brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
>> : >
>> : > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
>> : > maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
>> : > tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
>> : >
>> : > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>>
>> : Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
>> : day?...
>>
>> Given this scenario , with your Mom, not likely to suddently start doing
>> all these things. Is there a senior living place in the area, the kind
>> where you live in an apartment and get meals and once a week cleaning and
>> linen change? This migh tbe what they will have to think of, even if
>> your
>> father regains some mobility, etc. It is a big change and will, probably
>> necessitate their selling their house in this bad markt or, at least
>> renting it. Don't jump and say"never" r "they won't" etc. these kinds
>> of
>> things do become a reality after a shileunless one of you is prepared to
>> have them move in with them, which can be EXTREMELY difficult.
>
> There is one near us and they have refused to go. My mom said they can
> never move out of their house. She isn't being reasonable on many fronts.
> OTOH it is highly unlikely that their house would sell. They have 1 11/2
> baths and the realtor said people do not want this. Now they want 2 full
> baths.
>
> Their house is paid off. So they only pay the taxes. There is no way
> they could afford rent unless they could sell the house.
>