On 9/4/2011 3:23 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
> > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>
>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it.
>>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back
>>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford
>>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
>>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider
>>> it.
>>>
>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
>>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
>>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with
>>> them.
>>
>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
>> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
>> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it was
>> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe, but
>> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite fair
>> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever
>> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better
>> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
>> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
>
> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food they
> do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to eat.
> And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
> there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
> this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>
> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
> another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two of
> them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who comes
> once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go to
> the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go to
> the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
> afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often
> as they do!
>
> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
> was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
>
> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for herself.
> She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or my
> nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
> ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show you
> once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be able
> to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going
> blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something, I
> know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
> and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
> has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
> when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for her
> before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her memory
> is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
> really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me are
> easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
> because he is a programmer.
>
> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for maintenance
> or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is just a
> given that my dad will do these things for her.
>
> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>
>
The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2
the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the
next day.

i didn't define elderly
he's 102 and she's 97

kate