Ozgirl > wrote:


: "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
: >
: > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
: > they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
: > out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
: > I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
: > to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
: >
: > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
: > in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
: > the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
: > a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
: > there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
: > how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
: > they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
: > that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
: >
: > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
: > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
: > BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
: > tonight.
: >
: > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
: > herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
: > brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
: > in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
: > mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
: > something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I
: > do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
: > matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't
: > capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
: > refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has
: > my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
: > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
: > for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
: > think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
: > ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things involving
: > the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
: > brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
: >
: > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
: > maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
: > tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
: >
: > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.

: Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
: day?...

Given this scenario , with your Mom, not likely to suddently start doing
all these things. Is there a senior living place in the area, the kind
where you live in an apartment and get meals and once a week cleaning and
linen change? This migh tbe what they will have to think of, even if your
father regains some mobility, etc. It is a big change and will, probably
necessitate their selling their house in this bad markt or, at least
renting it. Don't jump and say"never" r "they won't" etc. these kinds of
things do become a reality after a shileunless one of you is prepared to
have them move in with them, which can be EXTREMELY difficult.

Wendy