"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>
>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do
>>> it. I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we
>>> moved back here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just
>>> couldn't afford it. Actually the house next door to them was for
>>> sale. I did live in it once. But it has stairs and that is no good
>>> for me. So we didn't consider it.
>>>
>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to
>>> keep going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her
>>> parents are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot
>>> to help with them.
>>
>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst
>> yourselves worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it
>> might be a long time coming. But people adapt to that. My
>> grandparents had to when it was no longer safe for my grandfather to
>> drive (not that he was ever safe, but that's another story!) Once
>> things have settled down I think it quite fair to say take your mum
>> shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever but not be
>> expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better you
>> aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
>> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
>
> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
> they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
> out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
> I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
> to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>
> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
> in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
> the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
> a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
> there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
> how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
> they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
> that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
>
> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
> BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
> tonight.
>
> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
> herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
> brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
> in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
> mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
> something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I
> do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
> matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't
> capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
> refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has
> my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
> when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
> for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
> think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
> ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things involving
> the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
> brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
>
> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
> maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
> tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
>
> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.

Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
day?...