"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
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>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>
>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it.
>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back
>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford
>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider
>> it.
>>
>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with
>> them.
>
> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it was
> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe, but
> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite fair
> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever
> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better
> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.

My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food they
do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to eat.
And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
this online but they just refuse to do it that way.

Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two of
them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who comes
once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go to
the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go to
the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often
as they do!

I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.

The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for herself.
She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or my
nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show you
once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be able
to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going
blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something, I
know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for her
before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her memory
is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me are
easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
because he is a programmer.

I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for maintenance
or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is just a
given that my dad will do these things for her.

We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.