"ravenlynne" > wrote in message
...
> So some friends of ours called last weekend to inquire what we were doing
> for new years...what was said is "we're trying to see what everyone is
> doing so we can decide what we want to do since we're not going out of
> town this year."
>
> I was uncomfortable...it felt like what she was saying was "tell us what
> you're doing and if that sounds like fun, we'll invite ourselves." This
> isn't something that I do, so I was off put. Anyway, I stated our plans,
> followed by "you're more than welcome to join us" which, while I did mean
> it, felt a bit necessary, as in I'm not going to tell you my plans without
> inviting you. She said she'd discuss it with her husband and let us know.
> This was Sunday.
>
> It's wednesday evening. I need to plan what I'm going to cook and shop
> and I need to do that friday morning. Do I enquire as to whether they're
> coming?

Yes.

If so, when do I do this?

On the phone - saying "have you finalized your plans?"

How long do I wait?

Do it ASAP

Or do I just plan for us and if they come, say "sorry, you didn't let me
know so
> I didn't plan for you?

Not acceptable

For crying out loud - say the more you(we) thought about getting together
with "you guys' the better it sounded and if you can't make it NYD/E lets
get together soon.

Dimitri