On 12/29/2010 7:42 PM, Chemo the Clown wrote:
> On Dec 29, 1:26 pm, > wrote:
>> So some friends of ours called last weekend to inquire what we were
>> doing for new years...what was said is "we're trying to see what
>> everyone is doing so we can decide what we want to do since we're not
>> going out of town this year."
>>
>> I was uncomfortable...it felt like what she was saying was "tell us what
>> you're doing and if that sounds like fun, we'll invite ourselves." This
>> isn't something that I do, so I was off put. Anyway, I stated our
>> plans, followed by "you're more than welcome to join us" which, while I
>> did mean it, felt a bit necessary, as in I'm not going to tell you my
>> plans without inviting you. She said she'd discuss it with her husband
>> and let us know. This was Sunday.
>>
>> It's wednesday evening. I need to plan what I'm going to cook and shop
>> and I need to do that friday morning. Do I enquire as to whether
>> they're coming? If so, when do I do this? How long do I wait? Or do I
>> just plan for us and if they come, say "sorry, you didn't let me know so
>> I didn't plan for you? I don't know what to do, as I don't DO this to
>> people and I'm quite irked about it. I'm not planning on a ham or
>> something that feeds plenty, but appetizers and beef filet. When I'm
>> invited somewhere, I let them know pretty much asap. They do have a
>> history of both waiting until the day of to let us know or, as happened
>> last time, agreeing to come with a group, but them backing out at the
>> last minute because the rest of the group had to cancel and "it would
>> just be us, so we'll cancel too." (grrr!!!!)
>>
>> Yes, I used the term "friends"....they're important to my husband and I
>> don't want to burn bridges.
>> --
>> Currently Reading: Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold
>
> Do as the second poster (ImStillMags) suggested.
>
> She said:
>
>
> Personally, I'd call her up and say, "so, did you decide what you are
> doing for New Years Eve?" Don't ask directly if they are coming to
> your house. That question should give you all the information you
> need.

This is just what I did...I believe I caught her because what she said
was "My husband just walked in the door and he needs to ask me
something, may I call you right back" then called back 30 seconds later
and accepted the invite. Ah....people.

--
Currently Reading: Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold