On Dec 29, 1:26*pm, ravenlynne > wrote:
> So some friends of ours called last weekend to inquire what we were
> doing for new years...what was said is "we're trying to see what
> everyone is doing so we can decide what we want to do since we're not
> going out of town this year."
>
> I was uncomfortable...it felt like what she was saying was "tell us what
> you're doing and if that sounds like fun, we'll invite ourselves." *This
> isn't something that I do, so I was off put. *Anyway, I stated our
> plans, followed by "you're more than welcome to join us" which, while I
> did mean it, felt a bit necessary, as in I'm not going to tell you my
> plans without inviting you. She said she'd discuss it with her husband
> and let us know. *This was Sunday.
>
> It's wednesday evening. *I need to plan what I'm going to cook and shop
> and I need to do that friday morning. *Do I enquire as to whether
> they're coming? *If so, when do I do this? How long do I wait? Or do I
> just plan for us and if they come, say "sorry, you didn't let me know so
> I didn't plan for you? I don't know what to do, as I don't DO this to
> people and I'm quite irked about it. I'm not planning on a ham or
> something that feeds plenty, but appetizers and beef filet. When I'm
> invited somewhere, I let them know pretty much asap. *They do have a
> history of both waiting until the day of to let us know or, as happened
> last time, agreeing to come with a group, but them backing out at the
> last minute because the rest of the group had to cancel and "it would
> just be us, so we'll cancel too." (grrr!!!!)
>
> Yes, I used the term "friends"....they're important to my husband and I
> don't want to burn bridges.
> --
> Currently Reading: *Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold

Do as the second poster (ImStillMags) suggested.

She said:


Personally, I'd call her up and say, "so, did you decide what you are
doing for New Years Eve?" Don't ask directly if they are coming to
your house. That question should give you all the information you
need.