On 29/12/2010 4:26 PM, ravenlynne wrote:
> So some friends of ours called last weekend to inquire what we were
> doing for new years...what was said is "we're trying to see what
> everyone is doing so we can decide what we want to do since we're not
> going out of town this year."
>
> I was uncomfortable...it felt like what she was saying was "tell us what
> you're doing and if that sounds like fun, we'll invite ourselves." This
> isn't something that I do, so I was off put. Anyway, I stated our plans,
> followed by "you're more than welcome to join us" which, while I did
> mean it, felt a bit necessary, as in I'm not going to tell you my plans
> without inviting you. She said she'd discuss it with her husband and let
> us know. This was Sunday.
>
> It's wednesday evening. I need to plan what I'm going to cook and shop
> and I need to do that friday morning. Do I enquire as to whether they're
> coming? If so, when do I do this? How long do I wait? Or do I just plan
> for us and if they come, say "sorry, you didn't let me know so I didn't
> plan for you? I don't know what to do, as I don't DO this to people and
> I'm quite irked about it. I'm not planning on a ham or something that
> feeds plenty, but appetizers and beef filet. When I'm invited somewhere,
> I let them know pretty much asap. They do have a history of both waiting
> until the day of to let us know or, as happened last time, agreeing to
> come with a group, but them backing out at the last minute because the
> rest of the group had to cancel and "it would just be us, so we'll
> cancel too." (grrr!!!!)
>
> Yes, I used the term "friends"....they're important to my husband and I
> don't want to burn bridges.

The last part says it all, You don't want to offend. Call them up to
confirm.



I was in a similar but different situation three years ago. I invited
two couples for dinner on New Years Eve. One of the guys said yes
immediately. The other guy had to check with his wife. I figured that
would be a no because think she is upset with us. Sure enough, he called
back and declined. I invited our neighbours in their place.

I ordered a prime rib that I figured would feed the 6 of us without a
tone of leftovers, and the rest of the preparations were basically for
6, including the table setting.

He called at about 4 pm.to see if the invitation was still open. I guess
that she didn`t find any better offers. I was tempted to say no, but I
feel sorry for him being married to her so I told them to come. Besides,
he said that he would bring some beef tenderloin steaks and my only real
concern was the size of the roast. It turned out that his "steaks" were
two small end pieces, about 6 oz. total.


I don't see that happening. I won't be inviting them again.