On Sun, 6 Sep 2009 22:39:55 -0400, Cheryl wrote:

> "skeeter" > wrote in message
> ...
>>>
>>
>> my old housekeepers kid tried to hang himself off a bridge and managed to
>> live the next 7 years as a quadriplegic. what a ****ing idiot.
>
> When I was about 25 I lost a good friend to suicide who was about 18. He
> was like a little brother to me. The day he hanged himself, he tried to
> talk to me but I was busy with my boyfriend at that time, and I pretty much
> blew him off. His death haunted me for the longest time because I never saw
> any sign of depression in him. Never saw it coming. I wondered if there
> was something I missed. I hated myself for not having time for him that
> day.

unless you tied the knot or handed him the gun, i think self-recriminations
for what one should have/could have done are pretty bootless. one's
influence on other human actors is at bottom pretty limited.

(this goes double for parents of addicts, alcoholics, or other
self-destructive types. don't beat yourself up - it ain't your fault.)

your pal,
blake