"Nancy Howells" > wrote in message
...

> I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks
> that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved
> have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through)
> feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the
> mail, etc.

And I will add to your additions that you shouldn't use the following
language with a person consumed by grief:

'Let me know if I can do anything to help you.'

That kind of seemingly helpful statement puts the onus on the grieving
person to not only recognize when they need help, but also to ask for it.

Instead, let them answer a question with only yes or no, maybe something
like this:

'How about I help you out by walking the dog for the next few days?'

If they say yes to whatever you've offered, write it down somewhere
prominent in their house so they'll remember it, and so any other people
offering them help will know someone has already committed to taking care of
that task.

Cate