"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
> disposable containers
>
Good advice Barb. May I add to the last paragraph that if you don't attend
the wake or funeral, don't call the bereaved, don't send a card.. in other
words do absolutely nothing to acknowledge the death of the loved one then
don't come waltzing into the funeral reception in crappy clothes looking for
free eats. Yup... had that happen last summer when my hubby passed on.

As to what to say.. trying to think where I read it.. but it always bothered
me that people would say.. he looks so good.. I know how you feel.. etc
etc... What you can say is that you loved or liked the deceased very much
and you are really going to miss him or that you are sorry and that you are
available if you need to talk or to ask what you can do to help. And keep
criticisms of the wake and funeral to yourself! From my recent experience
the people who complained (wake only 2 hours, service done by friends and
family with minister acting as master of ceremonies and adding only the
necessary words here and there) never offered to help.

Debbie