"Dave Smith" wrote

>I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
>really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of her
>neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and her
>husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef family had
>been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a quick roasted
>beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.
>
> Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
> bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one red
> and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked her to
> bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is also our
> friend's birthday.

First mistake. There are potlucks, and there are acceptable limits. You
just do not tag a person to a meal for *your party* then tell them what to
bring. Especially 'pork loin for 20 plus wine'.

Friend dove out well but someone needs to bop that neighbor on the head with
a 'Ms Manners' book.