Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out of
control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain. Now
a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
your help.

-chad-

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com

Chad Michael Mallett wrote:
> Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out of
> control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
> the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
> uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain. Now
> a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
> your help.

Your problems may not be dietary in nature.

FWIW, I don't think usenet is the place to look for answers for this
kind of problem.

I think you will have better luck finding a answer with the aide of a
medical and/or psychological professional.

Good Luck!

Steve


--
Be A Healthy Vegan Or Vegetarian
http://www.geocities.com/beforewisdo...ealthyVeg.html

Steve's Home Page
http://www.geocities.com/beforewisdom/

"The great American thought trap: It is not real
unless it can be seen on television or bought in a
shopping mall"

Chad Michael Mallett wrote:
> Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out of
> control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
> the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
> uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain. Now
> a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
> your help.

Your problems may not be dietary in nature.

FWIW, I don't think usenet is the place to look for answers for this
kind of problem.

I think you will have better luck finding a answer with the aide of a
medical and/or psychological professional.

Good Luck!

Steve


--
Be A Healthy Vegan Or Vegetarian
http://www.geocities.com/beforewisdo...ealthyVeg.html

Steve's Home Page
http://www.geocities.com/beforewisdom/

"The great American thought trap: It is not real
unless it can be seen on television or bought in a
shopping mall"

"Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote in message
...
> Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
of
> control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
> the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
> uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain.
Now
> a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
> your help.
>
> -chad-

It's the radiation from your PC monitor that's causing the problem Chad
Throw it away, it's very dangerous.

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
"Ray" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> > illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
> of
> > control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not
calling
> > the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> > knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> > scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that
is
> > uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain.
> Now
> > a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> > missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks
for
> > your help.
> >
> > -chad-
>
> It's the radiation from your PC monitor that's causing the problem Chad
> Throw it away, it's very dangerous.
>
>

Well, I see that you are very mature. You need to throw away your pc For
you taking the time to make a comment like that....well there must not be
much in your life.
-chad-

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
"Ray" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> > illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
> of
> > control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not
calling
> > the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> > knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> > scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that
is
> > uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain.
> Now
> > a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> > missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks
for
> > your help.
> >
> > -chad-
>
> It's the radiation from your PC monitor that's causing the problem Chad
> Throw it away, it's very dangerous.
>
>

Well, I see that you are very mature. You need to throw away your pc For
you taking the time to make a comment like that....well there must not be
much in your life.
-chad-

"Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote in message
...
> Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
of
> control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
> the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
> uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain.
Now
> a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
> your help.
>
> -chad-

You probably need some medication to help get the mood swings under control.
You need to talk to a psychiatrist about this. If you leave the problem
untreated you probably will hurt somebody, maybe even yourself. A
psychiatrist can help you find ways to control the problem.

-Rubystars

On Sun, 26 Sep 2004 07:08:27 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote:

>Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
>illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out of
>control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
>the police or hospital on me.

They are apparently giving you a chance. It's up to you whether or not
they made a stupid one.

>I cracked my sisters door in half and it
>knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
>scared. What if I hurt one of my family members?

You have *already!* hurt them over and over again. The question is how
far you're going to let it go. You know unless you make a huge change
in your life somehow, you will end up physically hurting at least one person.
If it isn't enough to make you make the change then you will physically hurt
more people, and that much you are aware of.

>I get this power that is
>uncontrollable.

If you already really enjoy the pain you cause your family, it may be too
late as you're suggesting. If you don't enjoy it yet, then you need to find
someone who will help you get control before you get too bad.

>It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain. Now
>a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
>missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
>your help.
>
>-chad-

It comes down to how much you are willing to hurt others. If you
continue, and continue to get worse, eventually something *will* be
done. Maybe it will be done by you...maybe by someone who has to
deal with people like you. It appears that so far you have the choice
of getting some good help AND doing your part too, or letting things
go to the point that you screw up the lives of people you should care
about and your own life as well. If you haven't yet done something
so bad that it will contaminate the rest of your life, be thankful for the
opportunity to avoid doing so and avoid it.

Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half and
it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on the
7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I am
on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work. He is knew. But
I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries everything
in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like shit
for doing it. I do. Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was thinking
over my life. I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when I
was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns my
calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well. I told her
that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
for me. She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
Not anyone else
I will always be alone. Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to society
and my loving family. I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic post. I
just don't have anyone that understands me. I don't. I am all alone here. I
never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to. I don't know.
I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
> wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 26 Sep 2004 07:08:27 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> wrote:
>
> >Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> >illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
of
> >control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not
calling
> >the police or hospital on me.
>
> They are apparently giving you a chance. It's up to you whether or not
> they made a stupid one.
>
> >I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> >knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> >scared. What if I hurt one of my family members?
>
> You have *already!* hurt them over and over again. The question is how
> far you're going to let it go. You know unless you make a huge change
> in your life somehow, you will end up physically hurting at least one
person.
> If it isn't enough to make you make the change then you will physically
hurt
> more people, and that much you are aware of.
>
> >I get this power that is
> >uncontrollable.
>
> If you already really enjoy the pain you cause your family, it may be
too
> late as you're suggesting. If you don't enjoy it yet, then you need to
find
> someone who will help you get control before you get too bad.
>
> >It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain. Now
> >a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> >missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks
for
> >your help.
> >
> >-chad-
>
> It comes down to how much you are willing to hurt others. If you
> continue, and continue to get worse, eventually something *will* be
> done. Maybe it will be done by you...maybe by someone who has to
> deal with people like you. It appears that so far you have the choice
> of getting some good help AND doing your part too, or letting things
> go to the point that you screw up the lives of people you should care
> about and your own life as well. If you haven't yet done something
> so bad that it will contaminate the rest of your life, be thankful for the
> opportunity to avoid doing so and avoid it.

On Sun, 26 Sep 2004 07:08:27 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> wrote:

>Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
>illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out of
>control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not calling
>the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
>knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
>scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
>uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain. Now
>a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
>missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks for
>your help.
>

hey Chad

U think u got problems ???? U know _every_single_time i hear that
Smokey Robinson song 'tracks of my tears' i think of some personal
image my subconscious has created of_U_ & this has been happening 4
years now .

BTW do u get constipated ?

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
"BIG ONE" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 26 Sep 2004 07:08:27 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> > wrote:
>
> >Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> >illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
of
> >control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not
calling
> >the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> >knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> >scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
> >uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain.
Now
> >a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> >missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks
for
> >your help.
> >
>
> hey Chad
>
> U think u got problems ???? U know _every_single_time i hear that
> Smokey Robinson song 'tracks of my tears' i think of some personal
> image my subconscious has created of_U_ & this has been happening 4
> years now .
>
> BTW do u get constipated ?


Do you speak english?

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
"BIG ONE" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 26 Sep 2004 07:08:27 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> > wrote:
>
> >Since I was 17 I been a vegan. Since I was 10 I showed signs of mental
> >illnesses. Well I am 25 now. The last year I been really violent and out
of
> >control. I don't know what to do. I am thankful for my parents not
calling
> >the police or hospital on me. I cracked my sisters door in half and it
> >knocked her shelf off the wall. It broke a lot of her collectibles. I am
> >scared. What if I hurt one of my family members? I get this power that is
> >uncontrollable. It's like I am a 100 times stronger and I feel no pain.
Now
> >a lot of this has to do with my illnesses. But is there anything I am
> >missing in my diet that I can get to eating that will help out? Thanks
for
> >your help.
> >
>
> hey Chad
>
> U think u got problems ???? U know _every_single_time i hear that
> Smokey Robinson song 'tracks of my tears' i think of some personal
> image my subconscious has created of_U_ & this has been happening 4
> years now .
>
> BTW do u get constipated ?


Do you speak english?

On Mon, 27 Sep 2004 23:48:23 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote:

>Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
>hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half and
>it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on the
>7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I am
>on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work.

Good job man. Make it work.

>He is knew. But
>I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
>best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries everything
>in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
>products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like shit
>for doing it. I do. Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was thinking
>over my life. I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when I
>was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns my
>calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well. I told her
>that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
>for me. She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
>Not anyone else

It sounds like people have to do what they have to do to get through it.
If God exists, maybe he'll help you a bit too.

>I will always be alone. Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to society
>and my loving family. I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic post. I
>just don't have anyone that understands me. I don't. I am all alone here.

No one can know what you're going through or why...possibly you don't
understand it entirely yourself.

>I
>never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to. I don't know.

Out of curiosity, what does cutting yourself do for a person?

>I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.

Maybe you would agree that that particular outlook could have a significant
impact on other aspects of your life? It sounds like you've got a chemical
imbalance that causes you to be depressed, or feel bad in one way or more.
That sux, and I guess you have to deal with it. But on the brighter side, be
glad that you're living in an age where you get better treatment than you would
have in the not too distant past. Be glad that you have a house to live in, and
vehicles to carry you around, and all of the things that are easy to take for
granted. For the **vast!!** majority of time that man has been on Earth, people
lived in tents when they were lucky, had no decent medical care, couldn't
communicate with others any distance away, even the most educated didn't
know many of the things that you do, etc.... You can find a lot of reasons to
appreciate your position, as well as reasons to hate it.

On Mon, 27 Sep 2004 23:48:23 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote:

>Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
>hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half and
>it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on the
>7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I am
>on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work.

Good job man. Make it work.

>He is knew. But
>I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
>best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries everything
>in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
>products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like shit
>for doing it. I do. Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was thinking
>over my life. I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when I
>was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns my
>calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well. I told her
>that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
>for me. She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
>Not anyone else

It sounds like people have to do what they have to do to get through it.
If God exists, maybe he'll help you a bit too.

>I will always be alone. Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to society
>and my loving family. I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic post. I
>just don't have anyone that understands me. I don't. I am all alone here.

No one can know what you're going through or why...possibly you don't
understand it entirely yourself.

>I
>never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to. I don't know.

Out of curiosity, what does cutting yourself do for a person?

>I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.

Maybe you would agree that that particular outlook could have a significant
impact on other aspects of your life? It sounds like you've got a chemical
imbalance that causes you to be depressed, or feel bad in one way or more.
That sux, and I guess you have to deal with it. But on the brighter side, be
glad that you're living in an age where you get better treatment than you would
have in the not too distant past. Be glad that you have a house to live in, and
vehicles to carry you around, and all of the things that are easy to take for
granted. For the **vast!!** majority of time that man has been on Earth, people
lived in tents when they were lucky, had no decent medical care, couldn't
communicate with others any distance away, even the most educated didn't
know many of the things that you do, etc.... You can find a lot of reasons to
appreciate your position, as well as reasons to hate it.

You are a good person DH, thanks. Well I don't know what a cutter goes
through, but sometimes when the pain is so bad inside you. You want to hurt
yourself to make greater pain so that the other pain isn't as bad. Psychical
pain can cover up bad emotional pain really easy.

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
> wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 27 Sep 2004 23:48:23 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> wrote:
>
> >Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
> >hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half
and
> >it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on
the
> >7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I
am
> >on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work.
>
> Good job man. Make it work.
>
> >He is knew. But
> >I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
> >best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries
everything
> >in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
> >products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like
shit
> >for doing it. I do. Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was
thinking
> >over my life. I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when
I
> >was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns
my
> >calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well. I told
her
> >that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
> >for me. She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
> >Not anyone else
>
> It sounds like people have to do what they have to do to get through
it.
> If God exists, maybe he'll help you a bit too.
>
> >I will always be alone. Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to
society
> >and my loving family. I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic
post. I
> >just don't have anyone that understands me. I don't. I am all alone here.
>
> No one can know what you're going through or why...possibly you don't
> understand it entirely yourself.
>
> >I
> >never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to. I don't
know.
>
> Out of curiosity, what does cutting yourself do for a person?
>
> >I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.
>
> Maybe you would agree that that particular outlook could have a
significant
> impact on other aspects of your life? It sounds like you've got a chemical
> imbalance that causes you to be depressed, or feel bad in one way or more.
> That sux, and I guess you have to deal with it. But on the brighter side,
be
> glad that you're living in an age where you get better treatment than you
would
> have in the not too distant past. Be glad that you have a house to live
in, and
> vehicles to carry you around, and all of the things that are easy to take
for
> granted. For the **vast!!** majority of time that man has been on Earth,
people
> lived in tents when they were lucky, had no decent medical care, couldn't
> communicate with others any distance away, even the most educated didn't
> know many of the things that you do, etc.... You can find a lot of reasons
to
> appreciate your position, as well as reasons to hate it.

You are a good person DH, thanks. Well I don't know what a cutter goes
through, but sometimes when the pain is so bad inside you. You want to hurt
yourself to make greater pain so that the other pain isn't as bad. Psychical
pain can cover up bad emotional pain really easy.

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
> wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 27 Sep 2004 23:48:23 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> wrote:
>
> >Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
> >hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half
and
> >it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on
the
> >7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I
am
> >on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work.
>
> Good job man. Make it work.
>
> >He is knew. But
> >I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
> >best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries
everything
> >in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
> >products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like
shit
> >for doing it. I do. Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was
thinking
> >over my life. I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when
I
> >was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns
my
> >calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well. I told
her
> >that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
> >for me. She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
> >Not anyone else
>
> It sounds like people have to do what they have to do to get through
it.
> If God exists, maybe he'll help you a bit too.
>
> >I will always be alone. Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to
society
> >and my loving family. I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic
post. I
> >just don't have anyone that understands me. I don't. I am all alone here.
>
> No one can know what you're going through or why...possibly you don't
> understand it entirely yourself.
>
> >I
> >never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to. I don't
know.
>
> Out of curiosity, what does cutting yourself do for a person?
>
> >I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.
>
> Maybe you would agree that that particular outlook could have a
significant
> impact on other aspects of your life? It sounds like you've got a chemical
> imbalance that causes you to be depressed, or feel bad in one way or more.
> That sux, and I guess you have to deal with it. But on the brighter side,
be
> glad that you're living in an age where you get better treatment than you
would
> have in the not too distant past. Be glad that you have a house to live
in, and
> vehicles to carry you around, and all of the things that are easy to take
for
> granted. For the **vast!!** majority of time that man has been on Earth,
people
> lived in tents when they were lucky, had no decent medical care, couldn't
> communicate with others any distance away, even the most educated didn't
> know many of the things that you do, etc.... You can find a lot of reasons
to
> appreciate your position, as well as reasons to hate it.

On Tue, 28 Sep 2004 13:03:22 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> wrote:

>Do you speak english?

Is this a trick question ?

"Chad Michael Mallett" > wrote in message
...
> Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
> hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half
and
> it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on
the
> 7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I
am
> on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work. He is knew.

If you ever feel like you're in a state where you could be a real danger to
other people, you can voluntarily check yourself in and out of hospitals if
you feel like you need extra help at any particular time. Plenty of people
do that when they feel that they need to. It's good for people who feel
suicidal sometimes too, because they can go there when they know they can't
trust themselves.

Hopefully this psychiatrist will be able to help. It's good to try different
ones, because the others may not have had the style of treatment that works
for you in particular. Don't give up!

>But
> I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
> best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries everything
> in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
> products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like shit
> for doing it. I do.

Don't let anything let you "feel like shit" right now. It seems like that's
just one thing you're using to make yourself feel that way, when you don't
need to feel that way at all. You need to try to figure out what you get out
of feeling bad about yourself and see if you can address that in a more
positive way rather than finding reasons to feel bad about yourself. You
need to focus on what's good for you and what you need to do to get stable.
You can worry about the animals later. You're far more important than they
are.

>Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was thinking
> over my life.

You were dwelling on things that make you feel bad. You don't have to do
that. Stop looking back and start looking forward.

>I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when I
> was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns my
> calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well.

You probably don't need to be in a relationship until you can deal with some
of your own problems. It may seem impossible right now but if you can get
your problems straightened out or at least lessened then you'll have more to
bring to a relationship rather than just company for misery. You should look
forward and seek people who aren't a further drain on you but make you feel
good about yourself and about them. You can't afford to give any of your
energy away right now to people who will drain you emotionally.

>I told her
> that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
> for me.

She apparently had so many of her own problems that she didn't have enough
energy to share. She shouldn't have been in a relationship yet either until
she was emotionally ready for it.

>She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
> Not anyone else

I'm sorry she hurt you. Maybe she needs to work things out with God
before she can work things out with anyone else though. I wouldn't take it
personally if I were you because I have a strong feeling that the same thing
would have happened no matter who her boyfriend was.

> I will always be alone.

Why do you say those kind of things about yourself? When you speak things
like that, you only make yourself feel worse. Why do you want to do that? If
you don't want to be alone, then do what it takes to make it possible for
you to have a healthy relationship with someone some time down the road.
Don't give up!

> Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to society

Here you are putting yourself down again. The more you do this, the worse
you make it for yourself. You don't need to think this way about yourself!

> and my loving family.

If your family is truly loving, then they will never think of you as a piece
of trash.

> I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic post. I
> just don't have anyone that understands me.

Plenty of people have been in your shoes and are in your shoes right now.
I've had some friends who have gone through similar things so dont think
you're the only one who's ever felt the way you feel.

> I don't. I am all alone here.

Then maybe you could get into group therapy or something similar where you
could talk to other people about it who would understand?

> I
> never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to.

Self destructive thoughts aren't going to help. You need to respect yourself
enough not to want to hurt yourself.

> I don't know.
> I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.

You can go vegan if you want to, but you need to think about why you're
doing it. Is it possible that you're doing it just so you can fail at it and
then insult yourself over the "failure?" Is it possible that you're doing it
because you feel so rotten about yourself and you've used animal products as
an excuse for that rather than dealing with the real reasons you don't feel
good?

Hopefully your psychiatrist will be able to help you, if not, find another
one, but give this one a try, stick with them for a while and tell them
about what happened to you so far, and that you need to work on your self
esteem.

-Rubystars

"BIG ONE" > wrote in message
...
> On Tue, 28 Sep 2004 13:03:22 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
> > wrote:
>
> >Do you speak english?
>
> Is this a trick question ?

I think it's a perfectly valid question.
Obviously, you need a really good clear out. Take a look at the 'Lifeknox'
posting, it's full of good idea's. Personally I suggest you use a pressure
washer, then find yourself another newsgroup.alt.food.vegan is a dedicated
group, not for nutters like you. If you try alt.animals.vegetarian you will
find many people willing to help with all your complaints. Try the pressure
washer first, but please stop posting OFF TOPIC.

On Wed, 29 Sep 2004 11:16:17 +0000 (UTC), "Ray" > asked
4 a slap in the 'Violence and Anger' thread BIG ONE wouldn't want 2 b
off topic so he replied thus:


>"BIG ONE" > wrote in message
.. .
>> On Tue, 28 Sep 2004 13:03:22 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
>> > wrote:
>>
>> >Do you speak english?
>>
>> Is this a trick question ?
>
>I think it's a perfectly valid question.

<slap ray>

>Obviously, you need a really good clear out.

<kick ray in face>

>Take a look at the 'Lifeknox'
>posting, it's full of good idea's.

<force rays head down toilet>

> Personally I suggest you use a pressure
>washer,

<rip off rays arms & push him down the toilet with them>

> then find yourself another newsgroup.alt.food.vegan is a dedicated
>group, not for nutters like you.

<toss in the arms>

>If you try alt.animals.vegetarian you will
>find many people willing to help with all your complaints.

<flush toilet>

>Try the pressure
>washer first, but please stop posting OFF TOPIC.

<plonk>