Was too funny to pass up - recieved from DS in Miami:

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA WHEN:
You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood
covering your windows.
Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $4 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the
pool.
You own more than three large coolers.
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the
least bit guilty about it.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can
assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
You catch a 13-pound Red fish. In your driveway.
You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work
at the Weather channel.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a
tree worker.
A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to
Georgia!
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's
Christmas.
Toilet Paper is elevated to king of the realm at the shelters.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest
chainsaw.

The Joneses wrote:
> Was too funny to pass up - recieved from DS in Miami:
>
> YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA WHEN:

<lotsa weak alibis snipped>

And the No. 1 reason you know you live in Florida is because you spend
the better part of every day, and cry yourself to sleep each night,
wishing you were back in New York. But now that you're priced out
because you sold your nice solid brick NYC tudor (with full basement) ,
that appreciated some 23% each year, you can never come back... that
$60,000 FL bungalo (what's a basement) you spent your last dime on five
years ago is now worth a whopping $65,000... IF you can sell it,
because there are millions for sale on that piece of fercocktah
reclaimed swamp just like it... you'd gladly trade the alligators that
a month after you arrived ate your dog and the unbearably hot n' humid
nine month long summers for Broadway shows and NY snows, especially to
get away from all those redneck hillybilly trailer-trash bible
thumpers... you'd trade in a NY second. But alas, you're screwed.

Sheldon

Sheldon wrote:

> The Joneses wrote:
> > Was too funny to pass up - recieved from DS in Miami:
> >
> > YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA WHEN:
>
> <lotsa weak alibis snipped>
>
> And the No. 1 reason you know you live in Florida is because you spend
> the better part of every day, and cry yourself to sleep each night,
> wishing you were back in New York. But now that you're priced out
> because you sold your nice solid brick NYC tudor (with full basement) ,
> that appreciated some 23% each year, you can never come back... that
> $60,000 FL bungalo (what's a basement) you spent your last dime on five
> years ago is now worth a whopping $65,000... IF you can sell it,
> because there are millions for sale on that piece of fercocktah
> reclaimed swamp just like it... you'd gladly trade the alligators that
> a month after you arrived ate your dog and the unbearably hot n' humid
> nine month long summers for Broadway shows and NY snows, especially to
> get away from all those redneck hillybilly trailer-trash bible
> thumpers... you'd trade in a NY second. But alas, you're screwed.


Florida is one place that I wouldn't mind seeing being hit with a huge
deluge and then just sink into the sea...it's a place that serves
absolutely NO useful purpose.

Years ago it had some interesting places, now it's just one giant freak
show (you can say the same about TX and CA too...). Too many people,
too much crime and corruption, too many Krazy Kubans, it's truly Third
World down there...IOW a BIG MESS.

Every single person I've known who has moved down to Florida (these
were younger folks) eventually has moved back up north here to
Chicawgo. They eventually couldn't STAND the place...pretty much the
same for Kalifornia too. And no one in their right mind would ever
even consider moving to Tejas...

Heck, years ago my folks even considered retiring down there for the
winter months. Tried it once, no go. They preferred the frozen plains
of Illannoy over Florida in winter...

--
Best
Greg


>
> Sheldon

"Sheldon" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> The Joneses wrote:
> > Was too funny to pass up - recieved from DS in Miami:
> >
> > YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA WHEN:
>
> <lotsa weak alibis snipped>
>
> And the No. 1 reason you know you live in Florida is because you spend
> the better part of every day, and cry yourself to sleep each night,
> wishing you were back in New York. But now that you're priced out
> because you sold your nice solid brick NYC tudor (with full basement) ,
> that appreciated some 23% each year, you can never come back... that
> $60,000 FL bungalo (what's a basement) you spent your last dime on five
> years ago is now worth a whopping $65,000... IF you can sell it,
> because there are millions for sale on that piece of fercocktah
> reclaimed swamp just like it... you'd gladly trade the alligators that
> a month after you arrived ate your dog and the unbearably hot n' humid
> nine month long summers for Broadway shows and NY snows, especially to
> get away from all those redneck hillybilly trailer-trash bible
> thumpers... you'd trade in a NY second. But alas, you're screwed.
>
> Sheldon
>

I've never been to Florida, but I sympathize. And I'm really sorry about
yer dawg....

Kathi,
a Canuck

"Kathi Jones" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Sheldon" > wrote in message
> ups.com...
> >
> > The Joneses wrote:
> > > Was too funny to pass up - recieved from DS in Miami:
> > >
> > > YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA WHEN:
> >
> > <lotsa weak alibis snipped>
> >
> > And the No. 1 reason you know you live in Florida is because you spend
> > the better part of every day, and cry yourself to sleep each night,
> > wishing you were back in New York. But now that you're priced out
> > because you sold your nice solid brick NYC tudor (with full basement) ,
> > that appreciated some 23% each year, you can never come back... that
> > $60,000 FL bungalo (what's a basement) you spent your last dime on five
> > years ago is now worth a whopping $65,000... IF you can sell it,
> > because there are millions for sale on that piece of fercocktah
> > reclaimed swamp just like it... you'd gladly trade the alligators that
> > a month after you arrived ate your dog and the unbearably hot n' humid
> > nine month long summers for Broadway shows and NY snows, especially to
> > get away from all those redneck hillybilly trailer-trash bible
> > thumpers... you'd trade in a NY second. But alas, you're screwed.
> >
> > Sheldon
> >
>
> I've never been to Florida, but I sympathize. And I'm really sorry about
> yer dawg....
>
> Kathi,
> a Canuck
>
>
>

I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool of the
United States. I absolutely hate it here.

kili

kilikini wrote:


> I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
> of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.


Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.



Brian

--
If televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who
won't shut up.
-- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com)

"Default User" > wrote in message
...
> kilikini wrote:
>
>
> > I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
> > of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.
>
>
> Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.
>
>
>
> Brian
>

Yep, too true, Brian.

kili

On Thu, 03 Nov 2005 22:25:07 GMT, kilikini wrote:

>
>"Default User" > wrote in message
...
>> kilikini wrote:
>>
>>
>> > I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
>> > of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.
>>
>>
>> Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.
>>
>>
>>
>> Brian
>>
>
>Yep, too true, Brian.
>
>kili
>

Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
telling us how you did it where you used to be.

As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.


Pan Ohco

"Pan Ohco" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 03 Nov 2005 22:25:07 GMT, kilikini wrote:
>
> >
> >"Default User" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> kilikini wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >> > I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
> >> > of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.
> >>
> >>
> >> Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Brian
> >>
> >
> >Yep, too true, Brian.
> >
> >kili
> >
>
> Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
> think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
> here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
> Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
> driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
> telling us how you did it where you used to be.
>
> As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
> sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.
>
>
> Pan Ohco
>

....see ya........

Kathi Jones wrote:

> "Pan Ohco" > wrote in message
> ...
> > On Thu, 03 Nov 2005 22:25:07 GMT, kilikini wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >"Default User" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >> kilikini wrote:
> > >> > I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
> > >> > of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.
> > >> Brian
> > >>
> > >Yep, too true, Brian.
> > >kili
> >
> > Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
> > think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
> > here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
> > Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
> > driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
> > telling us how you did it where you used to be.
> > As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
> > sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.
> > Pan Ohco
> >
> ...see ya........

It's my opinion that it's not where yer feet are at, it's where yer head is at.
Edrena

>
> Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
> think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
> here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
> Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
> driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
> telling us how you did it where you used to be.
>
> As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
> sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.
>
>
> Pan Ohco
>

I like Florida and now I like Pan. I wish I were sharing a mint julep with
you.

As someone that was born and spent most of my life in Florida all I can say
is, I'll never go back, not even to visit. I left over a year ago and
nothing would temp me to return.

--

Joe Cilinceon

If your porch is anything like the one at the Leu homestead, I'll kick
back and join you. the rest of Florida I can live without.

maxine in ri
whose relatives _did_ get a visit in August.

On Fri, 04 Nov 2005 04:56:36 GMT, Advocate wrote:

>
>>
>> Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
>> think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
>> here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
>> Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
>> driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
>> telling us how you did it where you used to be.
>>
>> As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
>> sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.
>>
>>
>> Pan Ohco
>>
>
>I like Florida and now I like Pan. I wish I were sharing a mint julep with
>you.
>
Y'all come on over now ! If I don't have juleps, I have wild turkey.

Pan Ohco

The Joneses wrote:
> Kathi Jones wrote:
>
> > "Pan Ohco" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > On Thu, 03 Nov 2005 22:25:07 GMT, kilikini wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >"Default User" > wrote in message
> > > ...
> > > >> kilikini wrote:
> > > >> > I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
> > > >> > of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >> Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.
> > > >> Brian
> > > >>
> > > >Yep, too true, Brian.
> > > >kili
> > >
> > > Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
> > > think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
> > > here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
> > > Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
> > > driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
> > > telling us how you did it where you used to be.
> > > As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
> > > sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.
> > > Pan Ohco
> > >
> > ...see ya........
>
> It's my opinion that it's not where yer feet are at, it's where yer head is at.


Should I? hehe

Sheldon

Sheldon wrote:

> The Joneses wrote:
> > It's my opinion that it's not where yer feet are at, it's where yer head is at.
>
> Should I? hehe
> Sheldon

Nah - Ah'm so simple, it would fly raht past me.
E.

The Joneses wrote:
> Was too funny to pass up - recieved from DS in Miami:
>
> YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA WHEN:

You don't have a ****ing brain?

Just a guess.

-L.

Pan Ohco wrote:

> On Thu, 03 Nov 2005 22:25:07 GMT, kilikini wrote:
>
>
>>"Default User" > wrote in message
...
>>
>>>kilikini wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>I moved to Florida a year ago and I have to agree. It's the cesspool
>>>>of the United States. I absolutely hate it here.
>>>
>>>
>>>Made all the worse by where you moved from, I should imagine.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Brian
>>>
>>
>>Yep, too true, Brian.
>>
>>kili
>>
>
>
> Your are all so right. It is terrible down here on the gulf coast. I
> think that you should all move north, or west or any place away from
> here. Leave us here all by ourselves.
> Maybe we could get back to a slower pace of life.Fewer New Yorker,
> driving like nuts. and you know we could not get along without you all
> telling us how you did it where you used to be.
>
> As you drive past, on your way out of town. Just wave at poor old Pan,
> sitting on the porch drinking a mint julep.
>
>
> Pan Ohco
>
I'm with you Pan. Lived on the Gulf Coast all my 66 years except the
times I was in the military or working in the Middle East. Wouldn't
trade the Middle Coast for the Left or Right Coasts. You gotta grow up
here to appreciate the heat, humidity, hurricanes, lots of rain, gators
and snakes, and good people (mostly), that's excepting N'awlins of
course, they could fill it in and build a new port on the landfill and
it wouldn't bother me.

George