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Old 28-04-2004, 03:18 AM
Stanley
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.

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Old 28-04-2004, 06:35 AM
Scrutor
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

I get the feeling you're FULL OF IT!!!!

"Stanley" wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.



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Old 28-04-2004, 07:38 AM
S
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

i think we need projectile vomiy chick to comment on this one
"Scrutor" wrote in message
...
I get the feeling you're FULL OF IT!!!!

"Stanley" wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.





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Old 28-04-2004, 08:22 AM
Tim Challenger
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:18:03 -0700, Stanley wrote:

Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm

......


Probably just your guts reacting to the American food.
--
Tim C.
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Old 28-04-2004, 02:31 PM
Suzy
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???


"Stanley" wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.


Why wasn't I informed sooner?




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Old 28-04-2004, 02:32 PM
Suzy
 
Posts: n/a
Default American Heartland Food Story


"Stanley" wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.



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Old 28-04-2004, 02:57 PM
 
Posts: n/a
Default What do airlines put in their food???

Hey, at least you got a meal. I flew back yesterday in 1st class on
Delta (from NYC to ATL) and all I got was a ****ing cookie/cracker and
some mixed nuts.

On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:18:03 -0700, Stanley
wrote:

Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.


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Old 28-04-2004, 03:05 PM
Roy. Just Roy.
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Stanley wrote in message news:[email protected] ..
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days!


[snip me go plop plop slooooooosh story]

Hmm, 48 hour incubation, copious gas production, mild diarrhea, no
mention of blood in the stool.

Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of Clostridium
perfringens. A fiesty little bacteria this is, likes to hang out in
meat that's been held at room temperature for too long. Are you sure
you didn't hit a buffet at the airport, or maybe lunch before?

Look at the bright side - if you wanted to get foodborne illness, this
is the one to get. The symptoms are relatively mild, and will
disappear in a few days.

Now, staph, that's just nasty. Your stomach goes into convulsions for
12 hours straight. You puke up any food you eat, and spend the rest of
your evening dry heaving air. Some of the vibrios are also nice - both
projectile vomiting and diarrhea. You wind up sitting on the john for
the better part of a week, puke bucket in one hand and a good book in
the other.
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Old 28-04-2004, 05:47 PM
Xomicron
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Stanley wrote in
news:[email protected]:

Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.


I didn't even know they still served meals on planes.
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Old 28-04-2004, 11:24 PM
soņando
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Stanley wrote:


Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.




Did you read the magazine in the back pocket? It's only changed once a
month unless it's torn or worn. If you travel at the end of the month
you're getting a lot of vermin off the pages...it's been to the toilet
maybe ten times with 60 different users that month.

The trays on the back of seats have been analyzed and found to contain
even more bacteria than the toilets, so maybe the magazine rested on the
tray as well.


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Old 29-04-2004, 12:08 AM
Pennyaline
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???


Hey, at least you got a meal. I flew back yesterday in 1st class on
Delta (from NYC to ATL) and all I got was a ****ing cookie/cracker and
some mixed nuts.


One of you got the shits, the other got a ****ing... maybe both of you shop
around for a better airline.




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Old 29-04-2004, 12:12 AM
Kswck
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???


"Stanley" wrote in message
news:[email protected]
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days!


Snip

Take some Imodium and shut up.


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Old 29-04-2004, 03:46 AM
john
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:18:03 -0700, Stanley
wrote:


shit deleted

QUICK WAYS TO DELETE CRAP



The first thing to check is number of newsgroups crossposted--4 or 5
is trouble.

Check the nesgroups:


I found:


food cooking
travel air
howard stern
alt.tastleless
alt.troll

'NUFF SAID

DON'T RESPOND
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Old 29-04-2004, 05:51 AM
Blair P. Houghton
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Stanley wrote:
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to


Stop flying when Sheldon's cooking in the airport canteen.

--Blair
"Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC
Man I had a dreadful flight."
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Old 29-04-2004, 07:02 AM
Crazy Tribes Man
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Think yourself lucky, I ate a real firey hot vindaloo, same scenario,
but my chocolate starfish was red raw from the chillies as well,I now
can relate to how annabel chong felt.

I walked with a rather embaressing *** limp for days.

Now, who's hungry? )


Stanley wrote in message news:[email protected] ..
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.



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