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What do airlines put in their food???
Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. |
What do airlines put in their food???
I get the feeling you're FULL OF IT!!!!
"Stanley" > wrote in message news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews... > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. |
What do airlines put in their food???
i think we need projectile vomiy chick to comment on this one
"Scrutor" > wrote in message ... > I get the feeling you're FULL OF IT!!!! > > "Stanley" > wrote in message > news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews... > > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. > > |
What do airlines put in their food???
On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:18:03 -0700, Stanley wrote:
> Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm ...... Probably just your guts reacting to the American food. -- Tim C. |
What do airlines put in their food???
"Stanley" > wrote in message news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews... > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. Why wasn't I informed sooner? |
American Heartland Food Story
"Stanley" > wrote in message news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews... > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. |
What do airlines put in their food???
Hey, at least you got a meal. I flew back yesterday in 1st class on
Delta (from NYC to ATL) and all I got was a ****ing cookie/cracker and some mixed nuts. On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:18:03 -0700, Stanley > wrote: >Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to >stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm >getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I >think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I >just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone >through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, >they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm >not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the >dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let >out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and >shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out >my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the >most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have >been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets >through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. |
What do airlines put in their food???
Stanley > wrote in message news:<tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews>. ..
> Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! [snip me go plop plop slooooooosh story] Hmm, 48 hour incubation, copious gas production, mild diarrhea, no mention of blood in the stool. Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of Clostridium perfringens. A fiesty little bacteria this is, likes to hang out in meat that's been held at room temperature for too long. Are you sure you didn't hit a buffet at the airport, or maybe lunch before? Look at the bright side - if you wanted to get foodborne illness, this is the one to get. The symptoms are relatively mild, and will disappear in a few days. Now, staph, that's just nasty. Your stomach goes into convulsions for 12 hours straight. You puke up any food you eat, and spend the rest of your evening dry heaving air. Some of the vibrios are also nice - both projectile vomiting and diarrhea. You wind up sitting on the john for the better part of a week, puke bucket in one hand and a good book in the other. |
What do airlines put in their food???
Stanley > wrote in
news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews: > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. I didn't even know they still served meals on planes. |
What do airlines put in their food???
Stanley wrote:
> Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. Did you read the magazine in the back pocket? It's only changed once a month unless it's torn or worn. If you travel at the end of the month you're getting a lot of vermin off the pages...it's been to the toilet maybe ten times with 60 different users that month. The trays on the back of seats have been analyzed and found to contain even more bacteria than the toilets, so maybe the magazine rested on the tray as well. |
What do airlines put in their food???
>
> Hey, at least you got a meal. I flew back yesterday in 1st class on > Delta (from NYC to ATL) and all I got was a ****ing cookie/cracker and > some mixed nuts. One of you got the shits, the other got a ****ing... maybe both of you shop around for a better airline. |
What do airlines put in their food???
"Stanley" > wrote in message news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews... > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! <Snip> Take some Imodium and shut up. |
What do airlines put in their food???
On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 19:18:03 -0700, Stanley
> wrote: shit deleted QUICK WAYS TO DELETE CRAP The first thing to check is number of newsgroups crossposted--4 or 5 is trouble. Check the nesgroups: I found: food cooking travel air howard stern alt.tastleless alt.troll 'NUFF SAID DON'T RESPOND |
What do airlines put in their food???
Stanley > wrote:
>Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to Stop flying when Sheldon's cooking in the airport canteen. --Blair "Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC Man I had a dreadful flight." |
What do airlines put in their food???
Think yourself lucky, I ate a real firey hot vindaloo, same scenario,
but my chocolate starfish was red raw from the chillies as well,I now can relate to how annabel chong felt. I walked with a rather embaressing *** limp for days. Now, who's hungry? :o) Stanley > wrote in message news:<tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews>. .. > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. |
What do airlines put in their food???
All airlines dont serve meals anymore, they serve warmed excrement,
and here's a tip, don't fly the KLM from Washington Dulles to Amsterdam, it then flys direct from Amsterdam to India, the smell of indian people was gross, in recycled air conditioned aircraft. The smell of B.O. and stale curry seeping from there skin, was in my nose for the remainder of the day. Plus when I flew KLM, to Amsterdam, there was so many middle eastern people on board we got followed by a US fighter jet, very reassuring, ahem. Xomicron > wrote in message >... > Stanley > wrote in > news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews: > > > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. > > I didn't even know they still served meals on planes. |
What do airlines put in their food???
bartmanbartmanbartman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Crazy Tribes Man" > wrote in message om... > All airlines dont serve meals anymore, they serve warmed excrement, > and here's a tip, don't fly the KLM from Washington Dulles to > Amsterdam, it then flys direct from Amsterdam to India, the smell of > indian people was gross, in recycled air conditioned aircraft. > > The smell of B.O. and stale curry seeping from there skin, was in my > nose for the remainder of the day. > > Plus when I flew KLM, to Amsterdam, there was so many middle eastern > people on board we got followed by a US fighter jet, very reassuring, > ahem. > > Xomicron > wrote in message >... > > Stanley > wrote in > > news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews: > > > > > Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to > > > stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm > > > getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I > > > think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I > > > just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone > > > through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, > > > they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm > > > not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the > > > dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let > > > out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and > > > shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out > > > my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the > > > most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have > > > been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets > > > through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. > > > > I didn't even know they still served meals on planes. |
What do airlines put in their food???
On 28 Apr 2004 16:47:48 GMT, Xomicron > puked:
>Stanley > wrote in >news:tc4u80tunqe48fh5lpahr4cu7h87a1v6ld@netnews : > >> Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to >> stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm >> getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I >> think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I >> just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone >> through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts, >> they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm >> not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the >> dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let >> out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and >> shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out >> my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the >> most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have >> been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets >> through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal. > >I didn't even know they still served meals on planes. They do, but you have to pull the rubber chicken apart with your fingers due to Homeland Security. -- lab~rat >:-) Do you want polite or do you want sincere? |
What do airlines put in their food???
"Crazy Tribes Man" > wrote in message
om... > All airlines dont serve meals anymore, they serve warmed excrement, > and here's a tip, don't fly the KLM from Washington Dulles to > Amsterdam, it then flys direct from Amsterdam to India, the smell of > indian people was gross, in recycled air conditioned aircraft. > > The smell of B.O. and stale curry seeping from there skin, was in my > nose for the remainder of the day. > > Plus when I flew KLM, to Amsterdam, there was so many middle eastern > people on board we got followed by a US fighter jet, very reassuring, > ahem. Yuck....I would choose getting the shits over sitting in a plane full of unwashed indians with that horrible friggin cologne they splash on, or maybe it isn't even cologne. |
What do airlines put in their food???
bartman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Camel Toe" > wrote in message .. . > "Crazy Tribes Man" > wrote in message > om... > > All airlines dont serve meals anymore, they serve warmed excrement, > > and here's a tip, don't fly the KLM from Washington Dulles to > > Amsterdam, it then flys direct from Amsterdam to India, the smell of > > indian people was gross, in recycled air conditioned aircraft. > > > > The smell of B.O. and stale curry seeping from there skin, was in my > > nose for the remainder of the day. > > > > Plus when I flew KLM, to Amsterdam, there was so many middle eastern > > people on board we got followed by a US fighter jet, very reassuring, > > ahem. > > Yuck....I would choose getting the shits over sitting in a plane full of > unwashed indians with that horrible friggin cologne they splash on, or maybe > it isn't even cologne. > > > > |
What do airlines put in their food???
In article >,
"Camel Toe" > wrote: > "Crazy Tribes Man" > wrote in message > om... > > All airlines dont serve meals anymore, they serve warmed excrement, > > and here's a tip, don't fly the KLM from Washington Dulles to > > Amsterdam, it then flys direct from Amsterdam to India, the smell of > > indian people was gross, in recycled air conditioned aircraft. > > > > The smell of B.O. and stale curry seeping from there skin, was in my > > nose for the remainder of the day. > > > > Plus when I flew KLM, to Amsterdam, there was so many middle eastern > > people on board we got followed by a US fighter jet, very reassuring, > > ahem. > > Yuck....I would choose getting the shits over sitting in a plane full of > unwashed indians with that horrible friggin cologne they splash on, or maybe > it isn't even cologne. > > > > the answer is nightflight and a shitload of booze. so what if you're a puking menace during landing? I promise you, they'll give you space. -- cow OUT! |
What do airlines put in their food???
BubbaBob > wrote in
s.com: > I got a very severe, nearly fatal case of salmonella from eating > American Airlines chicken about 10 years ago. I was so sick that for > three days I couldn't get to the phone 3 rooms away to call an > ambulance. Fortunately the toilet was a whole lot closer than that. I > don't eat airline food any more. Not under any circumstance. I carry > my own. > Have you considered a Cell phone and the Train? -- Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. -------- FIELDS, W. C. |
What do airlines put in their food???
"Roy. Just Roy." wrote:
> [...] > Now, staph, that's just nasty. Your stomach goes into convulsions for > 12 hours straight. You puke up any food you eat, and spend the rest of > your evening dry heaving air. Some of the vibrios are also nice - both > projectile vomiting and diarrhea. You wind up sitting on the john for > the better part of a week, puke bucket in one hand and a good book in > the other. I've had two bouts of (what I figure was) the virus named after a New England town, that one can get on cruise ships from uncleaned produce (Mexico). Lasts two-three days with heaves more than once an hour and squirtshits. Even drinking water rises the gorge. ****ing amazing, I tell ya. And I didn't even get the cruise, crissakes. Now I remember: Norwalk virus. And yes, the bumhole gets sore from such constant mopping-up, Charmin be damned. Pe |
What do airlines put in their food???
BubbaBob wrote:
> > I got a very severe, nearly fatal case of salmonella from eating > American Airlines chicken about 10 years ago. I was so sick that for > three days I couldn't get to the phone 3 rooms away to call an > ambulance. Fortunately the toilet was a whole lot closer than that... I have always thought Salmonella to be a delightful girl-child's name, right up there with Chlorine and Enema.... Pe |
What do airlines put in their food???
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