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Warning Labels

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Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing
so will be prosecuted.
Sign at Railroad Station

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Cannot be made non-poisonous.
Windshield Wash Fluid

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Caution: Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object.
Hammer

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Caution: Hot beverages are hot!
Coffee Cup

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Caution: Never drive with the cover on your windshield
Automobile Windshield cover:

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Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
Rubber Ball

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Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
Swedish chain saw

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Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-
workers.
SGI computer

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Do not eat toner.
Laser Printer Cartridge

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Do not light the flame near the face.
Cigarette Lighter

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Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
Laser Pointer

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Do not pour liquids into your television set.
Television Owners Manual

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Do not put lit candles on phone.
Cordless Phone

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Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.
Battery

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Do not turn upside down. (printed on bottom of the box)
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert

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Do not use for drying pets.
Microwave Oven

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Do not use intimately.
Deodorant

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Do not use orally after using rectally.
Electronic Thermometer

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Do not use orally.
Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush

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For external use only!
Curling Iron

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For lifting purposes only
Car Jack

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If swallowed or lodged in ear or nose see doctor.
Ray-O-Vac Renewal AA Batteries

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If you are seated in an exit aisle and are unable to read this, please
ask a stewardess to reseat you.
Cayman Airlines safety booklet

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Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included.
VCR

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Not dishwasher safe.
TV Remote Control

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Not for weight control.
Breath Savers

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Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame

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Open packet and eat contents.
Pack of Peanuts

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Peel fruit from cellophane before eating.
Fruit Roll-ups

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Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.
Grapes

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Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding

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Remember: Objects in mirror are actually behind you.
Bike Helmet Mirror

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Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinners

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Theft of this container is a crime.
Milk Crate

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There shall be three (3) access levels with level 4 being the highest
level.
Fire Alarm System

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This camera only works when there is film inside.
Camera

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This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly.
Halloween Superman Costume

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THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
Insect Spray from New Zealand

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Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Soft Drink

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Use caution when using near fire, flame, or sparks.
Fireplace Lighter

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USE EXTREME CAUTION when stretching cord over load. Keep
face and other vulnerable body parts away from potential cord
rebound path.
Bungee cord

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Warning - this spray is harmful to bees
Insect Spray

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Warning! Never iron clothes on the body.
Rowenta Iron

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Warning: contains nuts
Sainsbury's Peanuts

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Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.
Midol PMS

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WARNING: Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer

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Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Heated Seat Cushion

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Warning: drug may cause sleepiness.
Sleeping Pill Prescription

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Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Rat Poison

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Warning: knives are sharp!
Sharpening Stone

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Warning: may cause drowsiness.
Nytol

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Warning: May contain small parts.
Frisbee

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WARNING: Not for use as earplugs.
Silly Putty

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Warning: Remove child before folding baby stroller.
Baby Stroller

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Warning: This product can burn eyes
Curling Iron
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---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

Labels
 

At a parking lot gate I saw a warning on the side of the box that moved
the arm with a cute picture on it. It was a black and yellow picture of
a guy with a triangle removed from his head and the gate lowering. The
caption said something along the lines of "beware of moving gate." No shit?

--
John Gaughan
http://www.johngaughan.net/

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PENMART01 wrote:

> Do not eat toner.
> Laser Printer Cartridge

This qualifies as a strict "DON'T"
about the "kosher certified" almond
paper goin' thru the printer.

Vilco

Labels
 

John Gaughan > wrote in message >...
> At a parking lot gate I saw a warning on the side of the box that moved
> the arm with a cute picture on it. It was a black and yellow picture of
> a guy with a triangle removed from his head and the gate lowering. The
> caption said something along the lines of "beware of moving gate." No shit?

My new hand hair-dryer said not to use it in the shower.

N.

Labels
 

Nancy Dooley wrote:
> John Gaughan > wrote in message
> >...
>> At a parking lot gate I saw a warning on the side of the box that
>> moved
>> the arm with a cute picture on it. It was a black and yellow picture
>> of
>> a guy with a triangle removed from his head and the gate lowering.
>> The
>> caption said something along the lines of "beware of moving gate."
>> No shit?
>
> My new hand hair-dryer said not to use it in the shower.
>
> N.

So, Nancy, do you plan to use it the next time you're in the shower? <G>

Jill