"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

I was reading "Multicultural Manners: New Rules of Etiquette for a Changing Society" by Norine Dresser. It's the 1996 edition (there's a 2005 edition as well), so I don't know how much got changed in between.

If you leave out the index and such, it's 260 pages, divided into three large parts. One 20-page subsection is "Foodways." Within that, you have "Cleaning Your Plate" (pp 75-76).

Here's the second half of that section:

"...The act of cleaning one's plate and emptying the glass has different meanings, depending on the culture. Jordanians leave a small amount as a sign of politeness. Filipinos keep a little on the plate to show that the hosts have provided well. Conversely, as with Marina's (Cambodian) family, cleaning the plate sometimes signals that the guest still wants more and the hosts have not provided sufficiently.

"With Koreans, the glass will not be refilled if there is still some liquid in it, and Egyptians leave some food on the plate as a symbol of abundance and a compliment to the host. For Thais, leaving food means you are finished or it was delicious. For Indonesians, leaving food on the plate means the diner is impolite. For the Japanese, cleaning one's plate means the guest appreciates the food. Finishing the rice in the bowl signals that the diner has finished the meal.

"Americans frequently caution their children to not waste food and to clean their plates, often citing some place in the world where people are starving. Parents elsewhere employ similar techniques for warning children not to waste food. A Chinese American recalls her childhood when her mother admonished that for every grain of rice left on the plate the youngster would have one pock mark on her face."

(end)

But, according to travel writer Roger Axtell, in SOME parts of China at least, they follow the Cambodian tradition. That is, as a guest, you are not supposed to eat the last dish served, which will be plain rice. To eat it would be insulting to the host.

Anyway, as I've always understood it, in the U.S., you're supposed to eat lightly. That is, if the host is the one filling your plate, you can have second servings after cleaning your plate IF the host offers them and/or if the other guests are seen to be helping themselves that way. If it's a buffet, you try not to take twice as much as the others are taking, at least!

But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely, when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):

https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80

So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish, greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it? Offhand, I can only think of two. One is the Gambia in West Africa, where even a well-off guest can't usually say to a dirt-poor host "no thanks, I couldn't possibly" even when eating the one egg would mean the host wouldn't have anything to eat for the next meal.

And:

From the juvenile book "Manners and Customs in the Middle Ages":

A Persian saying from the 900s A.D. explains: "Give all the food you have to your guest, even if you have only a drop of water for yourself."


Lenona.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

wrote:
> I was reading "Multicultural Manners: New Rules of Etiquette for a Changing Society" by Norine Dresser. It's the 1996 edition (there's a 2005 edition as well), so I don't know how much got changed in between.
>
> If you leave out the index and such, it's 260 pages, divided into three large parts. One 20-page subsection is "Foodways." Within that, you have "Cleaning Your Plate" (pp 75-76).
>
> Here's the second half of that section:
>
> "...The act of cleaning one's plate and emptying the glass has different meanings, depending on the culture. Jordanians leave a small amount as a sign of politeness. Filipinos keep a little on the plate to show that the hosts have provided well. Conversely, as with Marina's (Cambodian) family, cleaning the plate sometimes signals that the guest still wants more and the hosts have not provided sufficiently.
>
> "With Koreans, the glass will not be refilled if there is still some liquid in it, and Egyptians leave some food on the plate as a symbol of abundance and a compliment to the host. For Thais, leaving food means you are finished or it was delicious. For Indonesians, leaving food on the plate means the diner is impolite. For the Japanese, cleaning one's plate means the guest appreciates the food. Finishing the rice in the bowl signals that the diner has finished the meal.
>
> "Americans frequently caution their children to not waste food and to clean their plates, often citing some place in the world where people are starving. Parents elsewhere employ similar techniques for warning children not to waste food. A Chinese American recalls her childhood when her mother admonished that for every grain of rice left on the plate the youngster would have one pock mark on her face."
>
> (end)
>
> But, according to travel writer Roger Axtell, in SOME parts of China at least, they follow the Cambodian tradition. That is, as a guest, you are not supposed to eat the last dish served, which will be plain rice. To eat it would be insulting to the host.
>
> Anyway, as I've always understood it, in the U.S., you're supposed to eat lightly. That is, if the host is the one filling your plate, you can have second servings after cleaning your plate IF the host offers them and/or if the other guests are seen to be helping themselves that way. If it's a buffet, you try not to take twice as much as the others are taking, at least!
>
> But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely, when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):
>
> https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80
>
> So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish, greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it? Offhand, I can only think of two. One is the Gambia in West Africa, where even a well-off guest can't usually say to a dirt-poor host "no thanks, I couldn't possibly" even when eating the one egg would mean the host wouldn't have anything to eat for the next meal.
>
> And:
>
> From the juvenile book "Manners and Customs in the Middle Ages":
>
> A Persian saying from the 900s A.D. explains: "Give all the food you have to your guest, even if you have only a drop of water for yourself."
>
>
> Lenona.


Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have
entertained angels unawares.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

If you, a meat eater are entertaining and happenstance has it that all
your guests/friends are vegans, then it may behoove you to not serve meat.


You could say, that due to having a rather big meal before, you couldn't
possibly hold another bite, or: "Please take no offense, but as much as
I would love to finish the plate, I can't possibly for I am about to burst.

Sincerely,

A. H. Carter

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 00:10:35 -0600, Sqwertz >
wrote:

>On Thu, 8 Feb 2018 14:14:27 -0800 (PST), wrote:
>
>> "...The act of cleaning one's plate and emptying the glass has
>> different meanings, depending on the culture. Jordanians leave a
>> small amount as a sign of politeness. Filipinos keep a little on
>> the plate to show that the hosts have provided well. Conversely, as
>> with Marina's (Cambodian) family, cleaning the plate sometimes
>> signals that the guest still wants more and the hosts have not
>> provided sufficiently.
>>
>> "With Koreans, the glass will not be refilled if there is still
>> some liquid in it, and Egyptians leave some food on the plate as a
>> symbol of abundance and a compliment to the host. For Thais,
>> leaving food means you are finished or it was delicious. For
>> Indonesians, leaving food on the plate means the diner is impolite.
>> For the Japanese, cleaning one's plate means the guest appreciates
>> the food. Finishing the rice in the bowl signals that the diner has
>> finished the meal.
>
>What does it mean when you turn the plate vertical and move your head
>in a circular motion licking the plate clean?
>
>-sw

Made me laugh.

My Mother would be horrified. Shortly before she died she saw one of
her favourite TV chefs do this and she never spoke his name again!

My grandmother made sure all her daughters were ladies, as did her
mother before her. Tough as nails, but ladies nontheless.

Food tonight - thick fillet steaks for everyone (7 of us tonight)
purchased at a super special from the used meat section and a large
kitchen sink salad. With my eating habits lately I will probably
forego the steak.

JB

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

Am Samstag, 10. Februar 2018 07:56:45 UTC+1 schrieb Golden One:
> On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 00:10:35 -0600, Sqwertz >
> wrote:
>
> >On Thu, 8 Feb 2018 14:14:27 -0800 (PST), wrote:
> >
> >> "...The act of cleaning one's plate and emptying the glass has
> >> different meanings, depending on the culture. Jordanians leave a
> >> small amount as a sign of politeness. Filipinos keep a little on
> >> the plate to show that the hosts have provided well. Conversely, as
> >> with Marina's (Cambodian) family, cleaning the plate sometimes
> >> signals that the guest still wants more and the hosts have not
> >> provided sufficiently.
> >>
> >> "With Koreans, the glass will not be refilled if there is still
> >> some liquid in it, and Egyptians leave some food on the plate as a
> >> symbol of abundance and a compliment to the host. For Thais,
> >> leaving food means you are finished or it was delicious. For
> >> Indonesians, leaving food on the plate means the diner is impolite.
> >> For the Japanese, cleaning one's plate means the guest appreciates
> >> the food. Finishing the rice in the bowl signals that the diner has
> >> finished the meal.
> >
> >What does it mean when you turn the plate vertical and move your head
> >in a circular motion licking the plate clean?

There's not enough bread (or whatever) to get all the good sauce!

> Made me laugh.

Me too. Reminded me of a commercial for a sauce-from-the-box - in a
high-class restaurant, they run out of self-made gravy and use that stuff
instead. After a while, the staff ask themselves "Did they notice?"
because they hear not a sound from the guests. They take a peek - all
the patrons are busy licking their plates clean with only a low "mmmmm!"
audible...

> My Mother would be horrified. Shortly before she died she saw one of
> her favourite TV chefs do this and she never spoke his name again!
>
> My grandmother made sure all her daughters were ladies, as did her
> mother before her. Tough as nails, but ladies nontheless.

I bet she taught them to eat spaghetti noiselessly?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNAZmLmyCJk

> Food tonight - thick fillet steaks for everyone (7 of us tonight)
> purchased at a super special from the used meat section and a large
> kitchen sink salad. With my eating habits lately I will probably
> forego the steak.

I'm thinking Ratatouille.

Bye, Sanne

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2018-02-09 11:56 PM, JBurns wrote:
> On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 00:10:35 -0600, Sqwertz >
> wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 8 Feb 2018 14:14:27 -0800 (PST), wrote:
>>
>>> "...The act of cleaning one's plate and emptying the glass has
>>> different meanings, depending on the culture. Jordanians leave a
>>> small amount as a sign of politeness. Filipinos keep a little on
>>> the plate to show that the hosts have provided well. Conversely, as
>>> with Marina's (Cambodian) family, cleaning the plate sometimes
>>> signals that the guest still wants more and the hosts have not
>>> provided sufficiently.
>>>
>>> "With Koreans, the glass will not be refilled if there is still
>>> some liquid in it, and Egyptians leave some food on the plate as a
>>> symbol of abundance and a compliment to the host. For Thais,
>>> leaving food means you are finished or it was delicious. For
>>> Indonesians, leaving food on the plate means the diner is impolite.
>>> For the Japanese, cleaning one's plate means the guest appreciates
>>> the food. Finishing the rice in the bowl signals that the diner has
>>> finished the meal.
>>
>> What does it mean when you turn the plate vertical and move your head
>> in a circular motion licking the plate clean?
>>
>> -sw
>
> Made me laugh.
>
> My Mother would be horrified. Shortly before she died she saw one of
> her favourite TV chefs do this and she never spoke his name again!
>
> My grandmother made sure all her daughters were ladies, as did her
> mother before her. Tough as nails, but ladies nontheless.
>
Did she go shopping wearing elbow length gloves during century
temperatures?:-)

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 06:35:51 -0700, graham > wrote:

>On 2018-02-09 11:56 PM, JBurns wrote:
>> On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 00:10:35 -0600, Sqwertz >
>> wrote:
>>
>>> On Thu, 8 Feb 2018 14:14:27 -0800 (PST), wrote:
>>>
>>>> "...The act of cleaning one's plate and emptying the glass has
>>>> different meanings, depending on the culture. Jordanians leave a
>>>> small amount as a sign of politeness. Filipinos keep a little on
>>>> the plate to show that the hosts have provided well. Conversely, as
>>>> with Marina's (Cambodian) family, cleaning the plate sometimes
>>>> signals that the guest still wants more and the hosts have not
>>>> provided sufficiently.
>>>>
>>>> "With Koreans, the glass will not be refilled if there is still
>>>> some liquid in it, and Egyptians leave some food on the plate as a
>>>> symbol of abundance and a compliment to the host. For Thais,
>>>> leaving food means you are finished or it was delicious. For
>>>> Indonesians, leaving food on the plate means the diner is impolite.
>>>> For the Japanese, cleaning one's plate means the guest appreciates
>>>> the food. Finishing the rice in the bowl signals that the diner has
>>>> finished the meal.
>>>
>>> What does it mean when you turn the plate vertical and move your head
>>> in a circular motion licking the plate clean?
>>>
>>> -sw
>>
>> Made me laugh.
>>
>> My Mother would be horrified. Shortly before she died she saw one of
>> her favourite TV chefs do this and she never spoke his name again!
>>
>> My grandmother made sure all her daughters were ladies, as did her
>> mother before her. Tough as nails, but ladies nontheless.
>>
>Did she go shopping wearing elbow length gloves during century
>temperatures?:-)

My grandmother, yes. Not elbow length though.

When I was a small child she never left the house without hat and
gloves, stockings too. By the 1970s she had stopped such things.

JB

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 8:50 AM, JBurns wrote:

> When I was a small child she never left the house without hat and
> gloves, stockings too. By the 1970s she had stopped such things.

I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
Comfort is more important these days. If I'm clean and neat,
it'll have to be good enough.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 2/10/2018 8:50 AM, JBurns wrote:
>
>> When I was a small child she never left the house without hat and
>> gloves, stockings too. By the 1970s she had stopped such things.
>
> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
> Comfort is more important these days.Â* If I'm clean and neat,
> it'll have to be good enough.
>
> nancy

I vaguely remember those Jackie Kennedy days. I have a drawer full of
gloves my mother owned. Long gloves for formal occasions (Marine Corps
Ball, no doubt) and short gloves for when she was going to a luncheon.
I have a couple of her old hats, too. I don't remember her wearing them
to go shopping, though.

Jill

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2018-02-10 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 2/10/2018 8:50 AM, JBurns wrote:
>
>> When I was a small child she never left the house without hat and
>> gloves, stockings too. By the 1970s she had stopped such things.
>
> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
> Comfort is more important these days.Â* If I'm clean and neat,
> it'll have to be good enough.

People in this area tend to dress casually. There is an exception. A
couple years ago an outlet mall opened up and it attracts people from
out of town. It still surprises me to see people all dressed up to go
shopping.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 9:58 AM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 2/10/2018 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:

>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>> Comfort is more important these days.Â* If I'm clean and neat,
>> it'll have to be good enough.
>>

> I vaguely remember those Jackie Kennedy days.

If I was Jackie Kennedy I'd dress up all the time, too, because
every day she stepped out the door there were photographers. My idea
of hell.

> I have a drawer full of
> gloves my mother owned.Â* Long gloves for formal occasions (Marine Corps
> Ball, no doubt) and short gloves for when she was going to a luncheon. I
> have a couple of her old hats, too.Â* I don't remember her wearing them
> to go shopping, though.

I came across some gloves at my mother's house, even a couple of
old hats. I don't recall ever seeing her wear anything like that.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/9/2018 11:10 PM, Sqwertz wrote:
> What does it mean when you turn the plate vertical and move your head
> in a circular motion licking the plate clean?

Get the **** outta here, you creep!

Steve Wertz - unrepentant woman stalker and total head case begging poor
Omelet to shoot him with a sniper rifle in austin.food:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ost
>
3/18/2011 3:49 PM
Microsoft Internet News 4.70.1162
readnews.com - News for Geeks and ISPs
fa35d278.newsreader.readnews.com


Sorry I don't fit either of your Ideal Psycho Pal Profiles.

-sw
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd prefer you use a sniper rifle on me from a few hundred yards away.
There you go - a reason for you to buy yet another gun and ammo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

https://www.centraltexasfoodbank.org...ntation-057jpg

Hide the Ho Ho's!!!

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 10:07 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2018-02-10 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>> Comfort is more important these days.Â* If I'm clean and neat,
>> it'll have to be good enough.
>
> People in this area tend to dress casually. There is an exception. A
> couple years ago an outlet mall opened up and it attracts people from
> out of town. It still surprises me to see people all dressed up to go
> shopping.

Wow, for an outlet mall, no less? There is a mall we go to where
we do feel a bit like hookers at a Baptist convention, it's very
expensive and rich people do walk around expecting to be seen by
other rich people, I guess. Still, I don't dress up to go there.
Much.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 11:23 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 2/10/2018 9:58 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>> On 2/10/2018 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>>> Comfort is more important these days.Â* If I'm clean and neat,
>>> it'll have to be good enough.
>>>
>
>> I vaguely remember those Jackie Kennedy days.
>
> If I was Jackie Kennedy I'd dress up all the time, too, because
> every day she stepped out the door there were photographers.Â* My idea
> of hell.
>
Mine, too. But hey, Jackie set trends! Not that the average American
could afford those trends.

>> I have a drawer full of gloves my mother owned.Â* Long gloves for
>> formal occasions (Marine Corps Ball, no doubt) and short gloves for
>> when she was going to a luncheon. I have a couple of her old hats,
>> too.Â* I don't remember her wearing them to go shopping, though.
>
> I came across some gloves at my mother's house, even a couple of
> old hats.Â* I don't recall ever seeing her wear anything like that.
>
> nancy

It's funny what mothers' hang onto. I don't know what I'm supposed to
do with these gloves or the couple of hats.

Here's a little velvet hat with a veil:

https://s13.postimg.org/3o2plj993/velvet_veil.jpg

And this thing from Woodward & Lothrop in Washington, DC. Mohair with a
rhinestone embellishment:

https://s13.postimg.org/su3nsi807/mohair.jpg

The era fits Jackie Kennedy because that's when we lived right outside
of Washington, DC. Dad was stationed at Quantico, VA and we lived in
off-base housing in Woodbridge. Mom apparently bought a couple of hats
in DC.

Jill

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2018-02-10 11:31 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 2/10/2018 10:07 AM, Dave Smith wrote:

>> People in this area tend to dress casually. There is an exception. A
>> couple years ago an outlet mall opened up and it attracts people from
>> out of town. It still surprises me to see people all dressed up to go
>> shopping.
>
> Wow, for an outlet mall, no less?


Indeed. If you go to the local malls people are likely to be wearing
jeans and other casual attire. The outlet mall tends to attract a lot
of Chinese and eastern Europeans from larger cities, and they tend to
dress very nicely.

> There is a mall we go to where
> we do feel a bit like hookers at a Baptist convention, it's very
> expensive and rich people do walk around expecting to be seen by
> other rich people, I guess.Â* Still, I don't dress up to go there.
> Much.


My wife is not much of a shopper, but she always dresses up to do it.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

"Nancy Young" wrote in message ...

On 2/10/2018 10:07 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2018-02-10 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>> Comfort is more important these days. If I'm clean and neat,
>> it'll have to be good enough.
>
> People in this area tend to dress casually. There is an exception. A
> couple years ago an outlet mall opened up and it attracts people from
> out of town. It still surprises me to see people all dressed up to go
> shopping.

Wow, for an outlet mall, no less? There is a mall we go to where
we do feel a bit like hookers at a Baptist convention, it's very
expensive and rich people do walk around expecting to be seen by
other rich people, I guess. Still, I don't dress up to go there.
Much.

nancy

==

lol

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 09:17:13 -0500, Nancy Young >
wrote:

>On 2/10/2018 8:50 AM, JBurns wrote:
>
>> When I was a small child she never left the house without hat and
>> gloves, stockings too. By the 1970s she had stopped such things.
>
>I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>Comfort is more important these days. If I'm clean and neat,
>it'll have to be good enough.
>
>nancy

Years ago travel accomodations were far more comfortable, even tourist
class seating on planes was more spacious than today's first class.
Today's automobiles are made for midgets... a late model Mercedes
hasn't much more seating space than a VW bug. I used to drive a '78
Eldorado... about a year ago I had the occasion to sit in the rear
seat of a new Caddy, no leg room and I'm barely 6', I had to sit
sideways. My old Eldorado could easily seat six NBAers.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 11:23:33 -0500, Nancy Young >
wrote:

>On 2/10/2018 9:58 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>> On 2/10/2018 9:17 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>>> Comfort is more important these days.* If I'm clean and neat,
>>> it'll have to be good enough.
>>>
>
>> I vaguely remember those Jackie Kennedy days.
>
>If I was Jackie Kennedy I'd dress up all the time, too, because
>every day she stepped out the door there were photographers. My idea
>of hell.
>
>> I have a drawer full of
>> gloves my mother owned.* Long gloves for formal occasions (Marine Corps
>> Ball, no doubt) and short gloves for when she was going to a luncheon. I
>> have a couple of her old hats, too.* I don't remember her wearing them
>> to go shopping, though.
>
>I came across some gloves at my mother's house, even a couple of
>old hats. I don't recall ever seeing her wear anything like that.
>
>nancy

My mom had a collection of formal gloves and hats that she wore most
every time she stepped outdoors, in winter she'd go grocery shopping
with her wire cart (she ddiddn't drive) while wearing her persian lamb
winter coat... she also sometimes wore fox stoles, with heads and feet
attached. Fashions of those times were very different.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Saturday, February 10, 2018 at 10:23:38 AM UTC-6, Nancy Young wrote:
>
> On 2/10/2018 9:58 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>
> >> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
> >> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
> >>
My sister-in-law's mother was a buyer for one of the exclusive
women's store here in the 60's. Three or four times a year she
would fly to New York to buy the coming season clothes. I can
remember riding to the airport to see her off for about 10 days.
She, and all the other women, were dressed to the nines for their
flights.

That's back when you could actually walk out on the tarmac and
watch them board and watch the plane take off.
>
> I came across some gloves at my mother's house, even a couple of
> old hats. I don't recall ever seeing her wear anything like that.
>
> nancy
>
>
I don't remember my mother wearing gloves but I do remember her
wearing a hat to church every Sunday. She finally stopped wearing
a hat to services sometime in the 70's.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 15:39:22 -0800 (PST), "
> wrote:

>On Saturday, February 10, 2018 at 10:23:38 AM UTC-6, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> On 2/10/2018 9:58 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> >> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>> >> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>> >>
>My sister-in-law's mother was a buyer for one of the exclusive
>women's store here in the 60's. Three or four times a year she
>would fly to New York to buy the coming season clothes. I can
>remember riding to the airport to see her off for about 10 days.
>She, and all the other women, were dressed to the nines for their
>flights.

I regularly flew London/HK/Tokyo back then and stupid though it was,
one was dressed to the 9s in high heels, gloves and hats. Hats were
the most stupid for all the seats were far more generous than they are
now, hats were not comfortable.
>
>That's back when you could actually walk out on the tarmac and
>watch them board and watch the plane take off.
>>
>> I came across some gloves at my mother's house, even a couple of
>> old hats. I don't recall ever seeing her wear anything like that.
>>
>> nancy
>>
>>
I remember, probably around the early 60s, causing consternation at a
cocktail party by pinning a small ribbon bow in my hair (it was long
and braided up) and not wearing a hat. OMG, no hat!!!

Funny thing is through rec. food. recipes I made contact over a recipe
with somebody who turned out to have been USN in Tokyo. After much
chat he asked me if I was the girl at the US Embassy cocktail party
who just wore a feather stuck into my up braids, rather than a
'proper' hat lol It was I, what a strange thing to make a memory.
>I don't remember my mother wearing gloves but I do remember her
>wearing a hat to church every Sunday. She finally stopped wearing
>a hat to services sometime in the 70's.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Saturday, February 10, 2018 at 6:51:06 PM UTC-6, wrote:
>
> I remember, probably around the early 60s, causing consternation at a
> cocktail party by pinning a small ribbon bow in my hair (it was long
> and braided up) and not wearing a hat. OMG, no hat!!!
>
>
Did you watch Catherine and William's wedding on TV? There were some
beautiful hats/fascinators and some quite strange ones as well. I can't
remember who it was but there was one woman there who wore a netted hair
covering instead of a hat. There was some surprise at this covering by
the commentators instead of a hat.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 17:58:13 -0800 (PST), "
> wrote:

>On Saturday, February 10, 2018 at 6:51:06 PM UTC-6, wrote:
>>
>> I remember, probably around the early 60s, causing consternation at a
>> cocktail party by pinning a small ribbon bow in my hair (it was long
>> and braided up) and not wearing a hat. OMG, no hat!!!
>>
>>
>Did you watch Catherine and William's wedding on TV? There were some
>beautiful hats/fascinators and some quite strange ones as well. I can't
>remember who it was but there was one woman there who wore a netted hair
>covering instead of a hat. There was some surprise at this covering by
>the commentators instead of a hat.

Go woman, go :) I just saw bits of it but know she has bought the
fashion in for fascinators, good luck to them all. I really can't
stand hats or scarves round the neck and apparently that is fairly
common amongst migrainers.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 6:39 PM, wrote:
> On Saturday, February 10, 2018 at 10:23:38 AM UTC-6, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> On 2/10/2018 9:58 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>>>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>>>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>>>>
> My sister-in-law's mother was a buyer for one of the exclusive
> women's store here in the 60's. Three or four times a year she
> would fly to New York to buy the coming season clothes. I can
> remember riding to the airport to see her off for about 10 days.
> She, and all the other women, were dressed to the nines for their
> flights.

I bet they were, being in the fashion industry. I can see getting
dressed up to fly if I had an interview or a meeting to attend at
the other end of the flight.
> That's back when you could actually walk out on the tarmac and
> watch them board and watch the plane take off.
>> I came across some gloves at my mother's house, even a couple of
>> old hats. I don't recall ever seeing her wear anything like that.

> I don't remember my mother wearing gloves but I do remember her
> wearing a hat to church every Sunday. She finally stopped wearing
> a hat to services sometime in the 70's.

Seems like things went from 'she's not wearing a hat!' to 'why is
she wearing a hat?' pretty quickly.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/10/2018 2:32 PM, wrote:
> On Sat, 10 Feb 2018 09:17:13 -0500, Nancy Young >
> wrote:

>> I've heard (well, seen) people say they miss the old days when
>> people got dressed up to go shopping, or worse, the airport.
>> Comfort is more important these days. If I'm clean and neat,
>> it'll have to be good enough.

> Years ago travel accomodations were far more comfortable, even tourist
> class seating on planes was more spacious than today's first class.

I always wind up in the middle seat. Very uncomfortable.

> Today's automobiles are made for midgets... a late model Mercedes
> hasn't much more seating space than a VW bug. I used to drive a '78
> Eldorado... about a year ago I had the occasion to sit in the rear
> seat of a new Caddy, no leg room and I'm barely 6', I had to sit
> sideways. My old Eldorado could easily seat six NBAers.

I drove a large car on occasion, it's not for me. I'm midsize
sedan all the way. Plenty of room in the front and back and
still easy to park.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Sunday, February 11, 2018 at 6:25:32 AM UTC-6, wrote:
> I really can't
> stand hats or scarves round the neck and apparently that is fairly
> common amongst migrainers.
>
>
I have no problem with a winter mufflers when it's extremely cold but
hats and scarves are another matter. My head gets too hot and then
I begin to scratch because my head is sweltering. If it's windy and
quite cold I will wear ear pockets. (Ear muffs without the connecting
band.)

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Thursday, February 8, 2018 at 5:14:33 PM UTC-5, wrote:

>
> But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely, when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):
>
> https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80
>
> So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish, greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it?


Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.


Lenona.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 7:27:57 PM UTC-6, wrote:
>
> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>
> Lenona.
>
>
Subject has probably been exhausted.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
> On Thursday, February 8, 2018 at 5:14:33 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>
> >
> > But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely, when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):
> >
> > https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80
> >
> > So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish, greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it?
>
>
> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.

Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.

Cindy Hamilton

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Tuesday, February 13, 2018 at 5:02:24 AM UTC-6, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
....
> > Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>
> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.
>
> Cindy Hamilton

After all, Usenet is packed with EGOCENTRIC LITTLE CHILDREN!! Who honestly feel they are the ONLY humans on the face of the planet! Especially when it comes to FOOD!

John Kuthe...

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/13/2018 6:02 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>> On Thursday, February 8, 2018 at 5:14:33 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely, when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):
>>>
>>> https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80
>>>
>>> So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish, greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it?
>>
>>
>> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>
> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.

I don't care if it's a cocktail party, the conversation moves on.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 05:34:31 -0800 (PST), John Kuthe
> wrote:

>On Tuesday, February 13, 2018 at 5:02:24 AM UTC-6, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>...
>> > Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>>
>> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.
>>
>> Cindy Hamilton
>
>After all, Usenet is packed with EGOCENTRIC LITTLE CHILDREN!! Who honestly feel they are the ONLY humans on the face of the planet! Especially when it comes to FOOD!
>
>John Kuthe...

Wow! There should be a word, or emoticon, that registers more than
just plain old irony !

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/13/2018 10:01 AM, wrote:
> On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 05:34:31 -0800 (PST), John Kuthe
> > wrote:
>
>> On Tuesday, February 13, 2018 at 5:02:24 AM UTC-6, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>> ...
>>>> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>>>
>>> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.
>>>
>>> Cindy Hamilton
>>
>> After all, Usenet is packed with EGOCENTRIC LITTLE CHILDREN!! Who honestly feel they are the ONLY humans on the face of the planet! Especially when it comes to FOOD!
>>
>> John Kuthe...
>
> Wow! There should be a word, or emoticon, that registers more than
> just plain old irony !
>
Ain't that the truth! Kuthe has spoken... tee hee!

Jill

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Tuesday, February 13, 2018 at 9:12:55 AM UTC-6, Jill McQuown wrote:
....
> Ain't that the truth! Kuthe has spoken... tee hee!
>
> Jill

And the EGOCENTRICITY BLOOMS FETIDLY!!

:-(

John Kuthe...

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 08:42:49 -0500, Nancy Young >
wrote:

>On 2/13/2018 6:02 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>> On Thursday, February 8, 2018 at 5:14:33 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely, when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):
>>>>
>>>> https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80
>>>>
>>>> So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish, greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it?
>>>
>>>
>>> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>>
>> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.
>
>I don't care if it's a cocktail party, the conversation moves on.

It can also move back via a conversational U-turn. Except, I missed
the original question.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Wed, 14 Feb 2018 06:33:50 +1100, Bruce >
wrote:

>On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 08:42:49 -0500, Nancy Young >
>wrote:
>
>>On 2/13/2018 6:02 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>>> On Thursday, February 8, 2018 at 5:14:33 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> But that leaves one potentially awkward situation that the book didn't mention - namely,
>>>>> when guests are allowed to fill their OWN plates - from platters that are passed around
>>>>> the table. See here (it's a 1965 Ann Landers column):
>>>>>
>>>>> https://cdnc.ucr.edu/cgi-bin/cdnc?a=d&d=MT19650607.2.80
>>>>>
>>>>> So it got me to wondering - chances are the in-laws were just selfish,
>>>>> greedy boors, but there could be more to it, unfortunately. ARE there
>>>>> many cultures where guests are truly expected just to eat as much as
>>>>> they like and not to care much about whether or not the host can afford it?

That is asinine... if the host can't afford it then there should be no
guests invited.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 05:34:31 -0800 (PST), John Kuthe wrote:

> After all, Usenet is packed with EGOCENTRIC LITTLE CHILDREN!! Who
> honestly feel they are the ONLY humans on the face of the planet!
> Especially when it comes to FOOD!

That's some incredible irony coming from the guy who starts dozens of
threads about his misadventures and antics which have nothing to do
with food.

-sw

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Wed, 14 Feb 2018 01:42:16 -0600, Sqwertz >
wrote:

>On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 08:42:49 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>> On 2/13/2018 6:02 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>>
>>>> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>>>
>>> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.
>>
>> I don't care if it's a cocktail party, the conversation moves on.
>
>Yes, the subject has been played out and moves on. Stomping your feet
>demanding we et back to what you want to talk about is kinda childish.

Who's the child here?

"Can we please get back to my question? Thank you."

That's hardly stomping your feet.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/14/2018 2:42 AM, Sqwertz wrote:
> On Tue, 13 Feb 2018 08:42:49 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>> On 2/13/2018 6:02 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> On Monday, February 12, 2018 at 8:27:57 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>>
>>>> Can we please get back to my question? Thank you.
>>>
>>> Probably not. After all, this is Usenet.
>>
>> I don't care if it's a cocktail party, the conversation moves on.
>
> Yes, the subject has been played out and moves on. Stomping your feet
> demanding we et back to what you want to talk about is kinda childish.

I like reading about people's foibles and misadventures, but after
Tell your husband to grow a pair and not let his brothers eat all the
food and Why are you passing the food to them first, you must know by
now they're thoughtless jerks, and If there's a place where it's
customarily okay for guests to wipe out the food meant for everyone,
then it's a rude custom ...

the subject is done.

> Leona seems obsessed with these Miss Manners-type posts/topics as
> they're the only topics she seems to start. Yet she doesn't exhibit
> the best manners herself.

I didn't mean to sound rude, just saying it's normal for discussions
to evolve, people generally don't keep beating the subject (actually,
that's more like Usenet, funny). And this isn't a school assignment
where you get points off for straying off the subject.

nancy

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On Wednesday, February 14, 2018 at 8:56:48 AM UTC-5, Nancy Young wrote:

> Tell your husband to grow a pair and not let his brothers eat all the
> food and Why are you passing the food to them first, you must know by
> now they're thoughtless jerks, and If there's a place where it's
> customarily okay for guests to wipe out the food meant for everyone,
> then it's a rude custom ...


Most people don't consider a custom to be rude so long as it's reciprocal. As I seem to remember, at the wedding at Cana, it would have been a terrible disgrace for the wine to run out, which is why Mary demanded that Jesus help out. If he hadn't been there, should the wedding not have had ANY guests, since not inviting certain guests could have been a disaster too?

My suspicion is that, in the Ann Landers letter, the husband didn't see anything wrong with putting his adult blood relatives first because if the tables were turned, the brothers would be the ones to go semi-hungry. In theory. Maybe the wife knew that and didn't dare to fill the plates in the kitchen because she didn't want to risk making the in-laws AND her husband mad.


Lenona.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2018-02-15 1:43 PM, wrote:
> On Wednesday, February 14, 2018 at 8:56:48 AM UTC-5, Nancy Young
> wrote:

> My suspicion is that, in the Ann Landers letter, the husband didn't
> see anything wrong with putting his adult blood relatives first
> because if the tables were turned, the brothers would be the ones to
> go semi-hungry. In theory. Maybe the wife knew that and didn't dare
> to fill the plates in the kitchen because she didn't want to risk
> making the in-laws AND her husband mad.


If it is the custom it is expected. Personally, I don't think that
guests should make pigs of themselves and take advantage of a host.
I think that when we invite people to a meal and make something special
we expect them to enjoy it.

Our neighbours serve up huge spreads of food. She is Italian and does
the full Italian meal thing. She will have soup, salad, pasta, a roast
of some sort, and a selection of desserts. As I understand it, they
serve these huge meals and then heat up the leftovers for dinners for
the rest of the week.

I am not Italian so I am not used to meals like that. It is hard to
pace. I am used to having a pasta dish as an entree, not as one of 4 or
5 courses of food. I don't want to upset my hosts by not having room for
the main event when it comes.

"Eat lightly when you're a guest" - question
 

On 2/15/2018 1:43 PM, wrote:
> On Wednesday, February 14, 2018 at 8:56:48 AM UTC-5, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>> Tell your husband to grow a pair and not let his brothers eat all the
>> food and Why are you passing the food to them first, you must know by
>> now they're thoughtless jerks, and If there's a place where it's
>> customarily okay for guests to wipe out the food meant for everyone,
>> then it's a rude custom ...
>
>
> Most people don't consider a custom to be rude so long as it's reciprocal. As I seem to >remember, at the wedding at Cana, it would have been a terrible disgrace for the wine to ?run out, which is why Mary demanded that Jesus help out. If he hadn't been there, should >the wedding not have had ANY guests, since not inviting certain guests could have been a >disaster too?

Lucky they invited someone would could make wine since they didn't have
enough on hand.

> My suspicion is that, in the Ann Landers letter, the husband didn't see anything wrong >with putting his adult blood relatives first because if the tables were turned, the >brothers would be the ones to go semi-hungry. In theory. Maybe the wife knew that and >didn't dare to fill the plates in the kitchen because she didn't want to risk making the >in-laws AND her husband mad.

She seemed quite sure she'd made enough for everyone, that's why she was
angry. She expected there to be enough chops for everyone so this was a
surprise. And I don't believe for a minute the brothers would have
expected to go hungry at their own house. Not buying it.

nancy