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Default I really I give up now

On Tuesday, May 23, 2017 at 8:55:03 PM UTC-4, Cheri wrote:
> "Cindy Hamilton" > wrote in message
> ...
> > On Tuesday, May 23, 2017 at 1:27:43 PM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> >> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
> >> ...
> >>
> >> On Monday, May 22, 2017 at 8:47:58 PM UTC-4, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> >> > On 5/22/2017 6:31 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
> >> >
> >> > >
> >> > >> makes as much if not more
> >> > >> sense than spending many thousand$ on a funeral with a cemetary plot
> >> > >> and a fancy head stone... then driving away and likely never see it
> >> > >> again.
> >> > >
> >> > > True. My wife makes a pilgrimage to Toronto every November to lay a
> >> > > wreath at the family plot where her grandparents, parents, brother,
> >> > > cousin and aunt are buried. She always tries to get her relatives
> >> > > there
> >> > > to join her. Most of them live in the city but the best she has ever
> >> > > managed was to get two of them out. I stop by at my mother's grave
> >> > > every 2-3 months. My father is buried in Denmark but I still manage
> >> > > to
> >> > > get over there every few years.
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> >
> >> > I've never visited a family grave. It is just a decaying body in an
> >> > expensive box and fancy marker. I don't get anything from visiting a
> >> > grave and I'm pretty sure the deceased don't either. It does not alter
> >> > my memories of the deceased. A years or so ago we went to the graves
> >> > of my wife's family. She stepped in a hole in the ground and broke her
> >> > ankle. A couple of weeks ago on the way back from vacation we were in
> >> > the area and she declined a visit hoping not to repeat the problem.
> >> >
> >> > If you get comfort going to the grave, by all means, go. Everyone is
> >> > different in that respect.
> >>
> >> We haven't had family graves since my great-grandparents' generation.
> >> Grandma and Grampa are in mom's linen closet. After she dies, all
> >> three of them will be in the landfill.
> >>
> >> Cindy Hamilton
> >>
> >> ==
> >>
> >> It might be nice for you to sprinkle the ashes in a nice place. It
> >> obviously meant something to your mother.

> >
> > She'll be, you know, dead. She won't know.
> >
> > Cindy Hamilton

>
> But I would know and that would be what mattered, not what she would know or
> not know.


I never suggested that anybody else follow my course of action.

Cindy Hamilton
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"Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
...

On Tuesday, May 23, 2017 at 1:27:43 PM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Monday, May 22, 2017 at 8:47:58 PM UTC-4, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> > On 5/22/2017 6:31 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >> makes as much if not more
> > >> sense than spending many thousand$ on a funeral with a cemetary plot
> > >> and a fancy head stone... then driving away and likely never see it
> > >> again.
> > >
> > > True. My wife makes a pilgrimage to Toronto every November to lay a
> > > wreath at the family plot where her grandparents, parents, brother,
> > > cousin and aunt are buried. She always tries to get her relatives
> > > there
> > > to join her. Most of them live in the city but the best she has ever
> > > managed was to get two of them out. I stop by at my mother's grave
> > > every 2-3 months. My father is buried in Denmark but I still manage to
> > > get over there every few years.
> > >
> > >

> >
> > I've never visited a family grave. It is just a decaying body in an
> > expensive box and fancy marker. I don't get anything from visiting a
> > grave and I'm pretty sure the deceased don't either. It does not alter
> > my memories of the deceased. A years or so ago we went to the graves
> > of my wife's family. She stepped in a hole in the ground and broke her
> > ankle. A couple of weeks ago on the way back from vacation we were in
> > the area and she declined a visit hoping not to repeat the problem.
> >
> > If you get comfort going to the grave, by all means, go. Everyone is
> > different in that respect.

>
> We haven't had family graves since my great-grandparents' generation.
> Grandma and Grampa are in mom's linen closet. After she dies, all
> three of them will be in the landfill.
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>
> ==
>
> It might be nice for you to sprinkle the ashes in a nice place. It
> obviously meant something to your mother.


She'll be, you know, dead. She won't know.

Cindy Hamilton

==

Maybe, maybe not. I would probably do it myself knowing it was what she
wanted. But that is just me.



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

  #43 (permalink)   Report Post  
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Default I really I give up now

"Cheri" wrote in message news
"Cindy Hamilton" > wrote in message
...
> On Tuesday, May 23, 2017 at 1:27:43 PM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
>> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> On Monday, May 22, 2017 at 8:47:58 PM UTC-4, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>> > On 5/22/2017 6:31 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
>> >
>> > >
>> > >> makes as much if not more
>> > >> sense than spending many thousand$ on a funeral with a cemetary plot
>> > >> and a fancy head stone... then driving away and likely never see it
>> > >> again.
>> > >
>> > > True. My wife makes a pilgrimage to Toronto every November to lay a
>> > > wreath at the family plot where her grandparents, parents, brother,
>> > > cousin and aunt are buried. She always tries to get her relatives
>> > > there
>> > > to join her. Most of them live in the city but the best she has ever
>> > > managed was to get two of them out. I stop by at my mother's grave
>> > > every 2-3 months. My father is buried in Denmark but I still manage
>> > > to
>> > > get over there every few years.
>> > >
>> > >
>> >
>> > I've never visited a family grave. It is just a decaying body in an
>> > expensive box and fancy marker. I don't get anything from visiting a
>> > grave and I'm pretty sure the deceased don't either. It does not alter
>> > my memories of the deceased. A years or so ago we went to the graves
>> > of my wife's family. She stepped in a hole in the ground and broke her
>> > ankle. A couple of weeks ago on the way back from vacation we were in
>> > the area and she declined a visit hoping not to repeat the problem.
>> >
>> > If you get comfort going to the grave, by all means, go. Everyone is
>> > different in that respect.

>>
>> We haven't had family graves since my great-grandparents' generation.
>> Grandma and Grampa are in mom's linen closet. After she dies, all
>> three of them will be in the landfill.
>>
>> Cindy Hamilton
>>
>> ==
>>
>> It might be nice for you to sprinkle the ashes in a nice place. It
>> obviously meant something to your mother.

>
> She'll be, you know, dead. She won't know.
>
> Cindy Hamilton


But I would know and that would be what mattered, not what she would know or
not know.

Cheri


===

Yes. That is how I feel.



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

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Default I really I give up now

"Cheri" wrote in message news
"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "JBurns" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Tue, 23 May 2017 07:21:10 -0400, Gary > wrote:
>
>>On 5/23/2017 6:24 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> We haven't had family graves since my great-grandparents' generation.
>>> Grandma and Grampa are in mom's linen closet. After she dies, all
>>> three of them will be in the landfill.

>>
>>heheh. I've always said just toss me in the dumpster when I die. That
>>body is no longer me. And I mean it too. Cemetaries are creapy to me.
>>I would go for bury me in the ferret area in the forest. Just my natural
>>dead body though, no treatment. Otherwise, dumpster is fine
>>
>>The entire death ritual creeps me out. Embalming is unnecessary and very
>>creepy. The required funerals with fancy coffins and all that....so
>>strange and a waste of good money.

>
> My mother died last September and she chose not to have a funeral. I
> had her cremated, picked up her ashes and we had a family get together
> about 6 weeks after she died. My brother sprinkled her ashes off her
> favourite beach.
>
> There are now several community gropups in Australia that have managed
> to buy or secure bushland in which they do natural burials amongst the
> trees. They have all the necessary licences to pick up and transport
> dead bodies. The bodies are just wrapped before burial. They use no
> hearses, just transport the body in the back of a ute.
>
> JB
>
> ===
>
> Pretty much what we want. Just our ashes to be scattered in our favourite
> place.


Us too, mixed with our dogs ashes and scattered.

Cheri

==

Of course) Oh dogs ashes are in boxes on the fireplace awaiting the
day)

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk


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Default I really I give up now

On Tue, 23 May 2017 17:54:15 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>"Cindy Hamilton" > wrote in message
...
>> On Tuesday, May 23, 2017 at 1:27:43 PM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
>>> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>
>>> On Monday, May 22, 2017 at 8:47:58 PM UTC-4, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>> > On 5/22/2017 6:31 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>> >
>>> > >
>>> > >> makes as much if not more
>>> > >> sense than spending many thousand$ on a funeral with a cemetary plot
>>> > >> and a fancy head stone... then driving away and likely never see it
>>> > >> again.
>>> > >
>>> > > True. My wife makes a pilgrimage to Toronto every November to lay a
>>> > > wreath at the family plot where her grandparents, parents, brother,
>>> > > cousin and aunt are buried. She always tries to get her relatives
>>> > > there
>>> > > to join her. Most of them live in the city but the best she has ever
>>> > > managed was to get two of them out. I stop by at my mother's grave
>>> > > every 2-3 months. My father is buried in Denmark but I still manage
>>> > > to
>>> > > get over there every few years.
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> >
>>> > I've never visited a family grave. It is just a decaying body in an
>>> > expensive box and fancy marker. I don't get anything from visiting a
>>> > grave and I'm pretty sure the deceased don't either. It does not alter
>>> > my memories of the deceased. A years or so ago we went to the graves
>>> > of my wife's family. She stepped in a hole in the ground and broke her
>>> > ankle. A couple of weeks ago on the way back from vacation we were in
>>> > the area and she declined a visit hoping not to repeat the problem.
>>> >
>>> > If you get comfort going to the grave, by all means, go. Everyone is
>>> > different in that respect.
>>>
>>> We haven't had family graves since my great-grandparents' generation.
>>> Grandma and Grampa are in mom's linen closet. After she dies, all
>>> three of them will be in the landfill.
>>>
>>> Cindy Hamilton
>>>
>>> ==
>>>
>>> It might be nice for you to sprinkle the ashes in a nice place. It
>>> obviously meant something to your mother.

>>
>> She'll be, you know, dead. She won't know.
>>
>> Cindy Hamilton

>
>But I would know and that would be what mattered, not what she would know or
>not know.
>
>Cheri


A lot of people here have family cemeteries on the family property.
Many properties have remained in the family since Revolutionary days.
If I wanted I could be buried on my property, all I'd need do is fill
out a request form with the town clerk so the plot can be registered.
I already have a pet cemetery here, all my deceased cats are intered
in that location as well as a few neighbor's pets.


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On 2017-05-24 1:20 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:

> As with our cats ashes, that will be combined with David's and mine.
> However, fifty years ago my parents bought a burial plot for me along
> with a granite slap and a bronze plaque. The cemetary will not allow
> us to sell it or give it to another family member. Being frugal, our
> ashes will ultimately be buried in that plot. There is already a
> cement vault in the plot.


People in the human disposal business can be quite brutal. I think it is
shameful that they would not allow anyone else to be buried in the spot
or to give it to another family member. My brother and his wife
managed to get a plot on their church in Niagara on the Lake and when my
mother died they offered to have her ashed interred there. My wife's
family have a plot in a cemetery. There were already three caskets in
it, her great grandmother, grandmother and grandfather. There are also a
number of urns and markers for her mother, father, brother, two aunts,
an uncle and a cousin.

My father's ashes are buried in churchyard in Denmark that contains a
war graves cemetery. The church cemeteries over there usually have
grave sites reserved for 20 years and then they are recycled and someone
else is put there. His case is a little different. Thanks to some
negotiations between the war graves commission, the British embassy and
the church council, the church donated a spot right next to the war
graves section.

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On 2017-05-24 1:54 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Wed 24 May 2017 10:37:55a, Dave Smith told us...


>
> I have to admit that at the time my parents bought their own plots as
> well as mine, a binding contract signed. My parents were agreeable
> to this and, at the time, I didn't really give it much thought.
> However, contracts are meant to honored, so be it. We tried on
> several occasions, both in writing and in person to change or nullify
> the contract, to no avail.
>



I agree that contracts are meant to be honoured, but they can always be
re-negotiated. I can't understand what objection they could have to
another family member buried there, other than the loss of the sale of
another plot. Maybe it is time to have a close look at that contract
and make sure that they are sticking to the letter on other issues.
Becomes such a PITA that they will sign off to get rid of you.

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Default I really I give up now

"Wayne Boatwright" wrote in message
9.45...

On Wed 24 May 2017 07:01:34a, Ophelia told us...

> "Cheri" wrote in message news >
> "Ophelia" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "JBurns" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> On Tue, 23 May 2017 07:21:10 -0400, Gary >
>> wrote:
>>
>>>On 5/23/2017 6:24 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>> We haven't had family graves since my great-grandparents'
>>>> generation. Grandma and Grampa are in mom's linen closet.
>>>> After she dies, all three of them will be in the landfill.
>>>
>>>heheh. I've always said just toss me in the dumpster when I die.
>>>That body is no longer me. And I mean it too. Cemetaries are
>>>creapy to me. I would go for bury me in the ferret area in the
>>>forest. Just my natural dead body though, no treatment.
>>>Otherwise, dumpster is fine
>>>
>>>The entire death ritual creeps me out. Embalming is unnecessary
>>>and very creepy. The required funerals with fancy coffins and all
>>>that....so strange and a waste of good money.

>>
>> My mother died last September and she chose not to have a
>> funeral. I had her cremated, picked up her ashes and we had a
>> family get together about 6 weeks after she died. My brother
>> sprinkled her ashes off her favourite beach.
>>
>> There are now several community gropups in Australia that have
>> managed to buy or secure bushland in which they do natural
>> burials amongst the trees. They have all the necessary licences
>> to pick up and transport dead bodies. The bodies are just wrapped
>> before burial. They use no hearses, just transport the body in
>> the back of a ute.
>>
>> JB
>>
>> ===
>>
>> Pretty much what we want. Just our ashes to be scattered in our
>> favourite place.

>
> Us too, mixed with our dogs ashes and scattered.
>
> Cheri
>
> ==
>
> Of course) Oh dogs ashes are in boxes on the fireplace awaiting
> the day)
>


As with our cats ashes, that will be combined with David's and mine.
However, fifty years ago my parents bought a burial plot for me along
with a granite slap and a bronze plaque. The cemetary will not allow
us to sell it or give it to another family member. Being frugal, our
ashes will ultimately be buried in that plot. There is already a
cement vault in the plot.


Wayne Boatwright

==

Hey, whatever is good for you two and your cats)



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

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On Wed, 24 May 2017 20:03:04 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>On Wed 24 May 2017 11:40:19a, Dave Smith told us...
>
>> I agree that contracts are meant to be honoured, but they can
>> always be re-negotiated. I can't understand what objection they
>> could have to another family member buried there, other than the
>> loss of the sale of another plot. Maybe it is time to have a
>> close look at that contract and make sure that they are sticking
>> to the letter on other issues. Becomes such a PITA that they will
>> sign off to get rid of you.
>>
>>

>
>BTDT


GTTS?
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Default I really I give up now

On Wed, 24 May 2017 23:36:59 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>On Wed 24 May 2017 01:08:10p, Bruce told us...
>
>> On Wed, 24 May 2017 20:03:04 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
>> > wrote:
>>
>>>On Wed 24 May 2017 11:40:19a, Dave Smith told us...
>>>
>>>> I agree that contracts are meant to be honoured, but they can
>>>> always be re-negotiated. I can't understand what objection they
>>>> could have to another family member buried there, other than the
>>>> loss of the sale of another plot. Maybe it is time to have a
>>>> close look at that contract and make sure that they are sticking
>>>> to the letter on other issues. Becomes such a PITA that they will
>>>> sign off to get rid of you.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>BTDT

>>
>> GTTS?
>>

>
>Got To Tell Somebody?


Got The T-Shirt


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On Thu, 25 May 2017 00:02:12 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>On Wed 24 May 2017 10:54:08a, Wayne Boatwright told us...
>
>> On Wed 24 May 2017 10:37:55a, Dave Smith told us...
>>
>>> On 2017-05-24 1:20 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>>
>>>> As with our cats ashes, that will be combined with David's and
>>>> mine. However, fifty years ago my parents bought a burial plot
>>>> for me along with a granite slap and a bronze plaque. The
>>>> cemetary will not allow us to sell it or give it to another
>>>> family member. Being frugal, our ashes will ultimately be
>>>> buried in that plot. There is already a cement vault in the
>>>> plot.
>>>
>>> People in the human disposal business can be quite brutal. I
>>> think it is shameful that they would not allow anyone else to be
>>> buried in the spot or to give it to another family member. My
>>> brother and his wife managed to get a plot on their church in
>>> Niagara on the Lake and when my mother died they offered to have
>>> her ashed interred there. My wife's family have a plot in a
>>> cemetery. There were already three caskets in it, her great
>>> grandmother, grandmother and grandfather. There are also a number
>>> of urns and markers for her mother, father, brother, two aunts,
>>> an uncle and a cousin.
>>>
>>> My father's ashes are buried in churchyard in Denmark that
>>> contains a war graves cemetery. The church cemeteries over there
>>> usually have grave sites reserved for 20 years and then they are
>>> recycled and someone else is put there. His case is a little
>>> different. Thanks to some negotiations between the war graves
>>> commission, the British embassy and the church council, the
>>> church donated a spot right next to the war graves section.
>>>
>>>

>>
>> I have to admit that at the time my parents bought their own plots
>> as well as mine, a binding contract signed. My parents were
>> agreeable to this and, at the time, I didn't really give it much
>> thought. However, contracts are meant to honored, so be it. We
>> tried on several occasions, both in writing and in person to
>> change or nullify the contract, to no avail.
>>

>
>The cemetery business is a huge money maker, particularly when
>combined with other services including the plot, vault, casket,
>opening and closing of the grave, and burial process. If this is
>sold as a package, which it often is, once you've bought it they
>don't care if you use the plot or not. They have no interest in
>reselling or refunding any part of the package, or even transferring
>ownership to another family member. This might not always be true
>with smaller operations, but the really large cemeteries really don't
>give a shit.


Aint that the truth. Even though my mother had no funeral it still
cost just shy of $4k to have the funeral director pick her body up and
deliver to the nearest crematorium, apply for a death certificate and
cremate her body. They charged $500 extra because they picked her up
at 6PM which is after business hours. The hospice had no morgue for
overnight storage until the next business day. WTF?, a hospice full of
people that are going to die and no morgue.

JB
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On Thursday, May 25, 2017 at 9:26:40 PM UTC-10, Golden One wrote:
> On Thu, 25 May 2017 00:02:12 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> > wrote:
>
> >On Wed 24 May 2017 10:54:08a, Wayne Boatwright told us...
> >
> >> On Wed 24 May 2017 10:37:55a, Dave Smith told us...
> >>
> >>> On 2017-05-24 1:20 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> As with our cats ashes, that will be combined with David's and
> >>>> mine. However, fifty years ago my parents bought a burial plot
> >>>> for me along with a granite slap and a bronze plaque. The
> >>>> cemetary will not allow us to sell it or give it to another
> >>>> family member. Being frugal, our ashes will ultimately be
> >>>> buried in that plot. There is already a cement vault in the
> >>>> plot.
> >>>
> >>> People in the human disposal business can be quite brutal. I
> >>> think it is shameful that they would not allow anyone else to be
> >>> buried in the spot or to give it to another family member. My
> >>> brother and his wife managed to get a plot on their church in
> >>> Niagara on the Lake and when my mother died they offered to have
> >>> her ashed interred there. My wife's family have a plot in a
> >>> cemetery. There were already three caskets in it, her great
> >>> grandmother, grandmother and grandfather. There are also a number
> >>> of urns and markers for her mother, father, brother, two aunts,
> >>> an uncle and a cousin.
> >>>
> >>> My father's ashes are buried in churchyard in Denmark that
> >>> contains a war graves cemetery. The church cemeteries over there
> >>> usually have grave sites reserved for 20 years and then they are
> >>> recycled and someone else is put there. His case is a little
> >>> different. Thanks to some negotiations between the war graves
> >>> commission, the British embassy and the church council, the
> >>> church donated a spot right next to the war graves section.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
> >> I have to admit that at the time my parents bought their own plots
> >> as well as mine, a binding contract signed. My parents were
> >> agreeable to this and, at the time, I didn't really give it much
> >> thought. However, contracts are meant to honored, so be it. We
> >> tried on several occasions, both in writing and in person to
> >> change or nullify the contract, to no avail.
> >>

> >
> >The cemetery business is a huge money maker, particularly when
> >combined with other services including the plot, vault, casket,
> >opening and closing of the grave, and burial process. If this is
> >sold as a package, which it often is, once you've bought it they
> >don't care if you use the plot or not. They have no interest in
> >reselling or refunding any part of the package, or even transferring
> >ownership to another family member. This might not always be true
> >with smaller operations, but the really large cemeteries really don't
> >give a shit.

>
> Aint that the truth. Even though my mother had no funeral it still
> cost just shy of $4k to have the funeral director pick her body up and
> deliver to the nearest crematorium, apply for a death certificate and
> cremate her body. They charged $500 extra because they picked her up
> at 6PM which is after business hours. The hospice had no morgue for
> overnight storage until the next business day. WTF?, a hospice full of
> people that are going to die and no morgue.
>
> JB


My friend's cat was put down and it cost him something like $500 for all the services - including cremation and boxing up the ashes. The cat had a stroke or something. He did get a nice sympathy card from the staff. Well that makes it all worthwhile, don't it?
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