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Xeno 24-01-2015 12:46 AM

On waffles, pancakes, and Laura Ingalls Wilder
 
On 24/01/2015 10:14 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:
On 1/23/2015 4:30 PM, Xeno wrote:
On 24/01/2015 7:54 AM, Kalmia wrote:
On Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 3:21:33 PM UTC-5, Bryan-TGWWW wrote:

Certainly, any man's man, any guy who
likes movies with car chases and explosions, and who, if they'd been
dragged
by the wife/GF to see The Fault In Our Stars, and would rather have a
root
canal than sit through that again would hate it.



I would hate to try to diagram that sentence. Kind of fractured,
huh? IF that's the style of your book...........AAAGGH.

I must admit, I would find myself tripping over the fractured grammar
and thus be unable to get immersed in the storyline. I do tutoring for
PhD students and I always get them to break up convoluted sentences like
that. I feel that writers must set standards.


You wouldn't believe some of the convoluted sentences I've had to
rewrite as an editor of manuscripts.


Trust me, I would! ;-) At 1:30am this morning I had the joy of editing
a paragraph that consisted of one single sentence over very many lines.
It would be impossible to read it out aloud without stumbling over it. I
will say that my student is of NESB and, as such, does tend to struggle
with English. She is a lecturer at RMIT Uni and I get to review ALL her
classwork notes, lesson plans, etc before they get used in her classes.
As well, I tutored her in her Masters prior to her commencing her PhD. I
know her style quite well by now but she still persists in writing long
convoluted sentences no matter how much I try to convince her it's a bad
idea. Another item that she has trouble with is indefinite articles...
they seem not to exist in her native language.

There is, in literature at least, a very fine line that the editor
mustn't cross when rewriting an author's work.


I have no problem with that concept at all.. but you can, as a writer,
at least stick to correct punctuation. Punctuation has a distinct
purpose and that is to make the document readable and reduce ambiguities.

It's very hard to maintain the author's voice when you
are rewriting a sentence to your own "ear".

Most of my work has been in the field of technical writing where the
author's "voice" is much less important than the communication of one's
ideas in a clear and unambiguous manner. Regardless, punctuation should
be used correctly, no matter the writing form, in order to let the
reader's mind flow easily over the text and allow them to focus on the
content or, as the case may be, the storyline.

--

Xeno.

S Viemeister[_2_] 24-01-2015 01:39 AM

On waffles, pancakes, and Laura Ingalls Wilder
 
On 1/23/2015 6:46 PM, Xenos wrote:
On 24/01/2015 10:14 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:


You wouldn't believe some of the convoluted sentences I've had to
rewrite as an editor of manuscripts.


Trust me, I would! ;-) At 1:30am this morning I had the joy of editing
a paragraph that consisted of one single sentence over very many lines.

The feu charter for my house consists of one long sentence over a number
of pages, followed by a bunch of signatures.




Janet Wilder[_4_] 24-01-2015 02:06 AM

On waffles, pancakes, and Laura Ingalls Wilder
 
On 1/23/2015 5:46 PM, Xeno wrote:
On 24/01/2015 10:14 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:
On 1/23/2015 4:30 PM, Xeno wrote:
On 24/01/2015 7:54 AM, Kalmia wrote:
On Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 3:21:33 PM UTC-5, Bryan-TGWWW wrote:

Certainly, any man's man, any guy who
likes movies with car chases and explosions, and who, if they'd been
dragged
by the wife/GF to see The Fault In Our Stars, and would rather have a
root
canal than sit through that again would hate it.



I would hate to try to diagram that sentence. Kind of fractured,
huh? IF that's the style of your book...........AAAGGH.

I must admit, I would find myself tripping over the fractured grammar
and thus be unable to get immersed in the storyline. I do tutoring for
PhD students and I always get them to break up convoluted sentences like
that. I feel that writers must set standards.


You wouldn't believe some of the convoluted sentences I've had to
rewrite as an editor of manuscripts.


Trust me, I would! ;-) At 1:30am this morning I had the joy of editing
a paragraph that consisted of one single sentence over very many lines.
It would be impossible to read it out aloud without stumbling over it. I
will say that my student is of NESB and, as such, does tend to struggle
with English. She is a lecturer at RMIT Uni and I get to review ALL her
classwork notes, lesson plans, etc before they get used in her classes.
As well, I tutored her in her Masters prior to her commencing her PhD. I
know her style quite well by now but she still persists in writing long
convoluted sentences no matter how much I try to convince her it's a bad
idea. Another item that she has trouble with is indefinite articles...
they seem not to exist in her native language.

There is, in literature at least, a very fine line that the editor
mustn't cross when rewriting an author's work.


I have no problem with that concept at all.. but you can, as a writer,
at least stick to correct punctuation. Punctuation has a distinct
purpose and that is to make the document readable and reduce ambiguities.

It's very hard to maintain the author's voice when you
are rewriting a sentence to your own "ear".

Most of my work has been in the field of technical writing where the
author's "voice" is much less important than the communication of one's
ideas in a clear and unambiguous manner. Regardless, punctuation should
be used correctly, no matter the writing form, in order to let the
reader's mind flow easily over the text and allow them to focus on the
content or, as the case may be, the storyline.


I agree with you assessment of punctuation.

--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

Bryan-TGWWW 24-01-2015 04:59 AM

On waffles, pancakes, and Laura Ingalls Wilder
 
On Friday, January 23, 2015 at 4:30:58 PM UTC-6, Xeno wrote:
On 24/01/2015 7:54 AM, Kalmia wrote:
On Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 3:21:33 PM UTC-5, Bryan-TGWWW wrote:

Certainly, any man's man, any guy who
likes movies with car chases and explosions, and who, if they'd been dragged
by the wife/GF to see The Fault In Our Stars, and would rather have a root
canal than sit through that again would hate it.




I would hate to try to diagram that sentence. Kind of fractured, huh? IF that's the style of your book...........AAAGGH.

I must admit, I would find myself tripping over the fractured grammar
and thus be unable to get immersed in the storyline. I do tutoring for
PhD students and I always get them to break up convoluted sentences like
that. I feel that writers must set standards.

The book isn't written like that, and my writing on here isn't usually like
that either. Right now, I'm lucky that I can write coherently at all, and
within an hour I won't be able to.

For the last two weeks I have been on naltrexone therapy for alcohol use
disorder. I have been a life long heavy alcohol user, and I've had enough
of it. Without explaining the whole extinction thing, I can just say that
a typical evening includes 50mg naltrexone and 3-5 drinks. 3-5 drinks w/o
the drug, and I'm in my element, in some ways performing even better than
with no alcohol, but with the drug, I become seriously dulled--sloppy, the
mental equivalent of swimming through molasses.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinclair_Method

Winter's Present is very dialog heavy, with conversations about ideas and
relationships, allusions to various artforms and shared popular culture.
It's almost not a novel, but just some crazy little thing that I felt
compelled to write. My wife, a librarian, has encouraged me for years to
write something, and I was on the edge of getting serious about writing a
book on dietary fatty acids. The idea of writing fiction had never even occurred to me, as I had never written so much as a page of fiction in my
life, and while I've read some newer young adult fiction, I have not read
a newly published adult novel in well over a decade, and very few titles
in the last 25 years. The whole writing of Winter thing is the most nonsensical thing I've done, maybe ever.

I expect most readers to react to it the way that my eldest brother did to
Richard Brautigan, or most fantasy/SF readers did to John Crowley--why
would you think that I might like this? At worst, it is a failed attempt
at literature.

Now I must sleep.

Xeno.


--Bryan


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