On Fri, 06 Dec 2013 22:39:19 -0700, "Pearl F. Buck"
> wrote:

> I guess it was a tough ho to plow, given the fonted el...I'll lay off
> now ;-)

Thanks and thank god, I know you were trying to tell me it was a tough
"row to hoe". Whew.

--
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

On 12/6/2013 10:44 PM, sf wrote:
> On Fri, 06 Dec 2013 22:39:19 -0700, "Pearl F. Buck"
> > wrote:
>
>> I guess it was a tough ho to plow, given the fonted el...I'll lay off
>> now ;-)
>
> Thanks and thank god, I know you were trying to tell me it was a tough
> "row to hoe". Whew.
>

Sorry, that was convoluted, even for me.

On 12/7/2013 12:33 AM, gtr wrote:
> On 2013-12-07 04:43:38 +0000, said:
>
>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 15:20:19 -0700, "graham" > wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 09:52:55 -0000, "Ophelia"
>>>> > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote:
>>>>>>>> I've often said I will never remarry, because I could never find
>>>>>>>> another one like him.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Exactly the same for me with mine )))
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And then there's me. Divorced for about 25 years now. I never
>>>>>> remarried because I was afraid that I *would* find another just like
>>>>>> her. heheh
>>>>>
>>>>> Aww I am so sorry.
>>>>
>>>> Don't be. some people do very well on their own. I was happily
>>>> married 43 years but don't think I would have adjusted readily again
>>>> and know I certainly would not now. There are days when I am happy
>>>> that I can do exactly what I want. I also know some women who are
>>>> coping now at this stage with ailing husbands and doubt that I could
>>>> have given the care now, that I gave then. It would be too physically
>>>> demanding.
>>>>
>>>> Several years after David died I did get quite close to someone but a)
>>>> my cat bit him and b) he dropped - and left - a wet towel on the
>>>> bedroom carpet and warning flags were waving - that was the end of
>>>> that! So now I usually make sure the ground rules are clear at the
>>>> outset because a lot of widowers seem to be looking for housekeepers
>>>> and cleaners and I am not applying for those positions
>>>
>>> By the same token, a lot of women are looking for *younger* men! They
>>> don't
>>> want to look after someone but they sure as hell want to *be* looked
>>> after
>>> and the trouble is, they don't seem to be aware of the double standard!
>>> Graham
>>>
>> Maybe but younger men often appreciate that 'older' women are not
>> looking for a permanent meal ticket.
>
> I can't imagine what younger men appreciate. I'm that far away from the
> mindset.
>
I suppose the flip side of the coin would be younger women looking for a
meal ticket from someone old enough to be her father.

Jill

On 2013-12-07 05:35:33 +0000, jmcquown said:

>> No, I haven't. The thing about refusing to sing is really a statement
>> about their personal fears, about hyper-sensitivity about exposing
>> themselves to criticism.
>
> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...

Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
singing, but I'm not.

> ...and find no reason why they should subject themselves to humiliation
> or criticism by trying to sing.

We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.

On 12/7/2013 12:33 AM, gtr wrote:
> On 2013-12-07 04:50:06 +0000, said:
>
>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 17:22:25 -0800, gtr > wrote:
>>
>>> On 2013-12-06 20:24:12 +0000, said:
>>>
>>>> The other difficulty is that now one might take someone on, everything
>>>> seems good, then illness hits.
>>>
>>> The more you love they more you risk...
>>>
>>>> Sorry, but throwing down towels was not something I could tolerate, nor
>>>> did I wish to alter, not worth it.
>>>
>>> Hey, everybody makes their own investment decisions. For some, eating
>>> peas one at a time with a fork is a deal breaker...
>>>
>>>> Besides I have to admit he was young enough that when we were out I
>>>> worried I would a) meet one of my kids b) have a waiter say 'does your
>>>> mother want another drink?' - so jettisoning seemed a good solution
>>>
>>> Understood. My item 3:
>>>
>>> Is 3 or more years younger than I
>>
>> Nah three or more years is okay
>
> To each their own. When I make cultural references I don't like having
> to explain them like some history teacher.
>
It sounds like you're talking about what could a 70 year old have in
common with a 20 year old. (*That* I DO wonder about.) But a few years
difference in age? I don't see a problem with that. Not if you share
common interests, have things to talk about, enjoy each other's company.

Jill

On 12/7/2013 1:55 AM, gtr wrote:
> On 2013-12-07 05:35:33 +0000, jmcquown said:
>
>>> No, I haven't. The thing about refusing to sing is really a statement
>>> about their personal fears, about hyper-sensitivity about exposing
>>> themselves to criticism.
>>
>> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...
>
> Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
> singing, but I'm not.
>
Let's put it this way... when my SO tries to sing to get me identify a
song, he's way off key. No one wants to hear that. Really and truly.
Those are the folks who do Karaoke.

>> ...and find no reason why they should subject themselves to
>> humiliation or criticism by trying to sing.
>
> We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
> don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
> criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.
>
We are not in agreement. I had to try out for music class when I was a
child. It was embarrassing. I happen to have a good voice and good
pitch. But I hate singing in front of people. I'm sure as heck not
going to *audition* like that for a relationship. That's just silly.

I sing when I feel like singing. Not on command.

Jill

Jill

"gtr" > wrote in message news:2013120617185325292-xxx@yyyzzz...
> On 2013-12-06 21:32:10 +0000, Ophelia said:
>
>> "gtr" > wrote in message
>> news:2013120611325193197-xxx@yyyzzz...
>>> On 2013-12-06 18:04:04 +0000, Cindy Hamilton said:
>>>
>>>> In article <201312060948277730-xxx@yyyzzz>, gtr > wrote:
>>>>> On 2013-12-06 12:14:07 +0000, said:
>>>>> up relationship, as long as it was ****ed up for new reasons. A few of
>>>>> the qualities which were on the deal-breakers list:
>>>>>
>>>>> Refuses to sing
>>>>> Is 3 or more years younger than I
>>>>> Is an only child
>>>>
>>>> What's wrong with an only child?
>>>
>>> It's my personal list, you can write your own of course. I think there's
>>> important and fundmental low-code learning that goes on when the
>>> prince/princess of a family has to deal with either being usurped or
>>> learning to share their fiefdom with a newer, younger and apparently
>>> more greatly-loved younger sibling, or two or three.
>>>
>>> Just my own conclusions after a lifetime's study, though admittedly a
>>> single sample size; me.
>>
>> Huh. An only child I was! A princess I was not!!!
>
> I'm sure you're quite right, m'lady.

Pah!

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

> wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 06 Dec 2013 17:55:18 -0500, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>>>
>>> By the same token, a lot of women are looking for *younger* men! They
>>> don't
>>> want to look after someone but they sure as hell want to *be* looked
>>> after
>>> and the trouble is, they don't seem to be aware of the double standard!
>>>
>>
>>They have to be young enough to be able to pick up wet towels and to
>>have a job to take her out to dinner. Someone might be expected to go
>>out and cut the lawn on a hot day because that is man's work, but if he
>>drops a wet towel on the floor and forgets to pick it up.... there is
>>hell to pay.
>>There is indeed a double standard.
>>
> My, my, methinks you both do protest too much. I ask for nothing but
> a good time but you can pick your own damned towels up!

lol *applause*
--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> On 12/7/2013 12:33 AM, gtr wrote:
>> On 2013-12-07 04:43:38 +0000, said:
>>
>>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 15:20:19 -0700, "graham" > wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 09:52:55 -0000, "Ophelia"
>>>>> > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>>>>>> ...
>>>>>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote:
>>>>>>>>> I've often said I will never remarry, because I could never find
>>>>>>>>> another one like him.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Exactly the same for me with mine )))
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> And then there's me. Divorced for about 25 years now. I never
>>>>>>> remarried because I was afraid that I *would* find another just like
>>>>>>> her. heheh
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Aww I am so sorry.
>>>>>
>>>>> Don't be. some people do very well on their own. I was happily
>>>>> married 43 years but don't think I would have adjusted readily again
>>>>> and know I certainly would not now. There are days when I am happy
>>>>> that I can do exactly what I want. I also know some women who are
>>>>> coping now at this stage with ailing husbands and doubt that I could
>>>>> have given the care now, that I gave then. It would be too physically
>>>>> demanding.
>>>>>
>>>>> Several years after David died I did get quite close to someone but a)
>>>>> my cat bit him and b) he dropped - and left - a wet towel on the
>>>>> bedroom carpet and warning flags were waving - that was the end of
>>>>> that! So now I usually make sure the ground rules are clear at the
>>>>> outset because a lot of widowers seem to be looking for housekeepers
>>>>> and cleaners and I am not applying for those positions
>>>>
>>>> By the same token, a lot of women are looking for *younger* men! They
>>>> don't
>>>> want to look after someone but they sure as hell want to *be* looked
>>>> after
>>>> and the trouble is, they don't seem to be aware of the double standard!
>>>> Graham
>>>>
>>> Maybe but younger men often appreciate that 'older' women are not
>>> looking for a permanent meal ticket.
>>
>> I can't imagine what younger men appreciate. I'm that far away from the
>> mindset.
>>
> I suppose the flip side of the coin would be younger women looking for a
> meal ticket from someone old enough to be her father.

A wee bit like Graham was saying, (although not the age things) it was his
wallet they were interested in, not him There is not a wallet big enough
to tempt me away from mine.


--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> On 12/7/2013 1:55 AM, gtr wrote:
>> On 2013-12-07 05:35:33 +0000, jmcquown said:
>>
>>>> No, I haven't. The thing about refusing to sing is really a statement
>>>> about their personal fears, about hyper-sensitivity about exposing
>>>> themselves to criticism.
>>>
>>> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...
>>
>> Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
>> singing, but I'm not.
>>
> Let's put it this way... when my SO tries to sing to get me identify a
> song, he's way off key. No one wants to hear that. Really and truly.
> Those are the folks who do Karaoke.
>
>>> ...and find no reason why they should subject themselves to
>>> humiliation or criticism by trying to sing.
>>
>> We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
>> don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
>> criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.
>>
> We are not in agreement. I had to try out for music class when I was a
> child. It was embarrassing. I happen to have a good voice and good
> pitch. But I hate singing in front of people. I'm sure as heck not going
> to *audition* like that for a relationship. That's just silly.
>
> I sing when I feel like singing. Not on command.

I've sung in choirs since I was a child but he can't hit any note He does
it sometimes on purpose and it makes us giggle.

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

sf wrote:
>
> On Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:43:41 -0500, Gary > wrote:
>
> > sf wrote:
> > >
> > > We pay people to do manual labor.
> >
> > I love it! ;-D
> >
>
> There are people out there that can do jobs a lot better and a lot
> faster, so why not hire them and have it done right the first time?

I'm that way too, especially when it comes to car repairs. You won't
catch me tinkering with it on a Sunday afternoon. I'll take it to the
mechanic on Monday morning and let him fix it right while I do
something else (either work or play).

G.

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...

> I've sung in choirs since I was a child but he can't hit any note He
> does it sometimes on purpose and it makes us giggle.

I had to sing off-key for a play I was in. I won't say that I have a
perfect voice. I do have perfect pitch in that I can identify the notes of
a song by ear but I wouldn't say that my singing voice is perfect. It was
too good to be used while playing a drunk. What I wound up having to do was
rewriting the song and taking some of the notes up or down a whole note then
making them sharp or flat. To complicate matters, my chorus teacher taught
us to sing just slightly sharp. To aim just slightly higher than what the
note should be but not quite sharp. I had to practice singing the song for
weeks in the wrong way until I got it by rote. To this day I still want to
sing it that way.

For Carving vegetables or meat any hard things you can have sharpen knife. For carvin or cutting soft things like cake, butter or bread or bun you can use blunt knife itself. Which doesnt hurts. But be aware using sharp one dont keep infront of children.

On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 22:55:10 -0800, gtr > wrote:



>>
>> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...
>
>Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
>singing, but I'm not.

I think I can prove you wrong on that. Won't take me more than a few
notes.

>
>> ...and find no reason why they should subject themselves to humiliation
>> or criticism by trying to sing.
>
>We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
>don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
>criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.

I can sing and not worry about criticism, but I bet you'll ask me not
to sing within 20 seconds or so. I can't stand to hear myself sing
when alone. But I don't worry about humiliation.

On 2013-12-06 11:46 PM, wrote:
> On Fri, 06 Dec 2013 17:55:18 -0500, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>>>
>>> By the same token, a lot of women are looking for *younger* men! They don't
>>> want to look after someone but they sure as hell want to *be* looked after
>>> and the trouble is, they don't seem to be aware of the double standard!
>>>
>>
>> They have to be young enough to be able to pick up wet towels and to
>> have a job to take her out to dinner. Someone might be expected to go
>> out and cut the lawn on a hot day because that is man's work, but if he
>> drops a wet towel on the floor and forgets to pick it up.... there is
>> hell to pay.
>> There is indeed a double standard.
>>
> My, my, methinks you both do protest too much. I ask for nothing but
> a good time but you can pick your own damned towels up!
>

Sorry. I must have misread. I had realized that you were doing all the
yard work and picking up the tabs. ;-)

On 2013-12-07 5:19 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
>> On Fri, 06 Dec 2013 17:55:18 -0500, Dave Smith
>> > wrote:
>>
>>>>
>>>> By the same token, a lot of women are looking for *younger* men!
>>>> They don't
>>>> want to look after someone but they sure as hell want to *be* looked
>>>> after
>>>> and the trouble is, they don't seem to be aware of the double standard!
>>>>
>>>
>>> They have to be young enough to be able to pick up wet towels and to
>>> have a job to take her out to dinner. Someone might be expected to go
>>> out and cut the lawn on a hot day because that is man's work, but if he
>>> drops a wet towel on the floor and forgets to pick it up.... there is
>>> hell to pay.
>>> There is indeed a double standard.
>>>
>> My, my, methinks you both do protest too much. I ask for nothing but
>> a good time but you can pick your own damned towels up!
>
> lol *applause*

That's the best you can do? You compulsion to respond to every post has
been reduced to sniped at me in second hand comments? It must trouble
you to have to wait for someone else to respond to me in order to
maintain the allusion that you aren't reading my posts.

On 2013-12-07 1:10 AM, jmcquown wrote:

>> I can't imagine what younger men appreciate. I'm that far away from the
>> mindset.
>>
> I suppose the flip side of the coin would be younger women looking for a
> meal ticket from someone old enough to be her father.

You know that some people will jump in an deny that happens, and deny
that some women go to university with the goal of marrying well. FWIW,
my wife is almost 6 years older than I am.

> wrote in message

> OTOH the young woman with the old man is looking (generally) for
> everything to be paid for and to receive gifts of all sorts. I'm not
> into paying.

There's a lot of truth in that. You don't see a lot of young women running
with a much older man who works at a car wash (yes I know working at a car
wash is honest work, but it's not really high paying) or some such.

Cheri

On Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:31:58 +1100, John J > wrote:

> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 22:55:10 -0800, gtr > wrote:
>
> >We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
> >don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
> >criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.
>
> Strange hangup.

Not really. To put it into different words, he wants to be with an
outgoing person - not an introvert.

--
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

On Sat, 7 Dec 2013 10:26:51 -0000, "Ophelia"
> wrote:

> I've sung in choirs since I was a child but he can't hit any note He does
> it sometimes on purpose and it makes us giggle.

My husband seems to sing everything using only one note too.

--
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

On Sat, 07 Dec 2013 02:04:00 -0500, jmcquown >
wrote:

> On 12/7/2013 12:33 AM, gtr wrote:
> > On 2013-12-07 04:50:06 +0000, said:
> >
> >> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 17:22:25 -0800, gtr > wrote:
> >>
> >>> On 2013-12-06 20:24:12 +0000, said:
> >>>
> >>>> The other difficulty is that now one might take someone on, everything
> >>>> seems good, then illness hits.
> >>>
> >>> The more you love they more you risk...
> >>>
> >>>> Sorry, but throwing down towels was not something I could tolerate, nor
> >>>> did I wish to alter, not worth it.
> >>>
> >>> Hey, everybody makes their own investment decisions. For some, eating
> >>> peas one at a time with a fork is a deal breaker...
> >>>
> >>>> Besides I have to admit he was young enough that when we were out I
> >>>> worried I would a) meet one of my kids b) have a waiter say 'does your
> >>>> mother want another drink?' - so jettisoning seemed a good solution
> >>>
> >>> Understood. My item 3:
> >>>
> >>> Is 3 or more years younger than I
> >>
> >> Nah three or more years is okay
> >
> > To each their own. When I make cultural references I don't like having
> > to explain them like some history teacher.
> >
> It sounds like you're talking about what could a 70 year old have in
> common with a 20 year old. (*That* I DO wonder about.) But a few years
> difference in age? I don't see a problem with that. Not if you share
> common interests, have things to talk about, enjoy each other's company.
>
I'm with gtr on the age thing.


--
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

>> And haven't you ever known someone who you would beg NOT to sing if
>> they tried?
>>
>> My gf can't get within three whole notes of any tune at any given
>> moment. I don't encourage her to practice. Neighborhood dogs may start
>> howling.
>
> lol my husband sings like that)))

My wife too. When she "sings" at church, she justifies it by calling it
"making a joyful noise."

I tell her it's proof that despite having the last name Hughes, she's
not even part Welsh. 8

-- Larry

>>>> Just sayin', this could go either way. I've known neat freaks of both
>>>> sexes.
>>>
>>> Yes, she did. If their relationship ended on the basis of her cat
>>> biting him and his leaving a damp towel on the floor I would say he got
>>> out of it in time.

"Neat freak"? I don't get it.

I'm not a particularly neat person, but what kind of pig would leave a
towel, wet or dry, on the floor?

-- Larry

On 2013-12-06 11:40 PM, wrote:

>> It's unusual because the mother almost always gets awarded custody. If
>> the father gets custody, it's not because he has something special
>> going for him, but the mother does. Severe drug addiction, for
>> instance.
>
> He fought for his son and received him, round here the myth that
> mothers always get the children, is just that, a myth. It's more the
> fathers can't imagine bringing up a child.
>
I don't think that anyone in the right mind would deny that sometimes
men do get custody of the kids. Nor would a person in their right mind
argue that in most cases the mother gets custody. For some reason,
wealthy men often end up paying outrageous child support.

It was interesting to see the online comments in a recent news story
about some guy who owes something like $340,000 in child support. He
lost his job in 2011 and was already behind in the $6,800 per month
payments. According to his parents, who have not heard from him in a few
years, he was fired because of addiction problems supposedly resulting
from prescription painkillers. They think he has had a breakdown and
have no idea where he is, if he is working or if he is even still alive.
They are worried about him.

A lot of the comments were about dead beat dads. A lot of them expressed
contempt for a system that would order him to pay such outrageous child
support. That monthly support works out to $96,000 per year. That means
he has to gross about $150,000 just to pay child support. Hard to do
when you are out of work. No wonder the guy has disappeared. I could
understand it if he had a break down, or if he just didn't want to have
to work all year just to pay child support.

On 2013-12-07 9:45 AM, pltrgyst wrote:
>>>>> Just sayin', this could go either way. I've known neat freaks of both
>>>>> sexes.
>>>>
>>>> Yes, she did. If their relationship ended on the basis of her cat
>>>> biting him and his leaving a damp towel on the floor I would say he got
>>>> out of it in time.
>
> "Neat freak"? I don't get it.
>
> I'm not a particularly neat person, but what kind of pig would leave a
> towel, wet or dry, on the floor?
>

Let's hope for her sake that was just one of his problems.

On 2013-12-07 9:21 AM, Cheri wrote:
>
> There's a lot of truth in that. You don't see a lot of young women
> running with a much older man who works at a car wash (yes I know
> working at a car wash is honest work, but it's not really high paying)
> or some such.
>

I remember a discussion with my brother's neighbour and her two
daughters, who were in their early 20s at the time, about woman doctor
and her stay at home husband. The women all thought he was the laziest
SOB imaginable and could not understand how any self respecting man
could stay at home while his wife worked. None of them had a problem
with a doctor's wife staying at home to do house keeping and raising the
kids.

On 12/7/2013 9:45 AM, pltrgyst wrote:
>>>>> Just sayin', this could go either way. I've known neat freaks of both
>>>>> sexes.
>>>>
>>>> Yes, she did. If their relationship ended on the basis of her cat
>>>> biting him and his leaving a damp towel on the floor I would say he got
>>>> out of it in time.
>
> "Neat freak"? I don't get it.
>
> I'm not a particularly neat person, but what kind of pig would leave a
> towel, wet or dry, on the floor?
>

Ever been to a "green" hotel where the signal to replace a towel is to
leave it on the bathroom floor? Hung up is the opposite signal; leave it.
--
Jim Silverton (Potomac, MD)

Extraneous "not." in Reply To.

Ophelia wrote:
>
> A wee bit like Graham was saying, (although not the age things) it was his
> wallet they were interested in, not him There is not a wallet big enough
> to tempt me away from mine.

And that is very admirable of you. Divorce is so common these days.
People just give up too quickly on a relationship any more. It saddens
me. The marriage vows should be taken seriously but they don't seem
to be these days.

I so admire and envy couples that stay together over time, and weather
the storms. Then they finally grow old together and still love each
other. (sigh)

G.

"Dave Smith" > wrote in message
...
> On 2013-12-07 9:21 AM, Cheri wrote:
>>
>> There's a lot of truth in that. You don't see a lot of young women
>> running with a much older man who works at a car wash (yes I know
>> working at a car wash is honest work, but it's not really high paying)
>> or some such.
>>
>
> I remember a discussion with my brother's neighbour and her two daughters,
> who were in their early 20s at the time, about woman doctor and her stay
> at home husband. The women all thought he was the laziest SOB imaginable
> and could not understand how any self respecting man could stay at home
> while his wife worked. None of them had a problem with a doctor's wife
> staying at home to do house keeping and raising the kids.
>
Double standard again!
Graham

"sf" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 7 Dec 2013 10:26:51 -0000, "Ophelia"
> > wrote:
>
>> I've sung in choirs since I was a child but he can't hit any note He
>> does
>> it sometimes on purpose and it makes us giggle.
>
> My husband seems to sing everything using only one note too.

Aww

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

"pltrgyst" > wrote in message
...
>>> And haven't you ever known someone who you would beg NOT to sing if
>>> they tried?
>>>
>>> My gf can't get within three whole notes of any tune at any given
>>> moment. I don't encourage her to practice. Neighborhood dogs may start
>>> howling.
>>
>> lol my husband sings like that)))
>
> My wife too. When she "sings" at church, she justifies it by calling it
> "making a joyful noise."
>
> I tell her it's proof that despite having the last name Hughes, she's not
> even part Welsh. 8

Awa' wi' ya!! You just let her get on 'making a joyful noise' if that is
what makes her happy)

I think it's rather sweet actually)


--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

"Gary" > wrote in message ...
> Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> A wee bit like Graham was saying, (although not the age things) it was
>> his
>> wallet they were interested in, not him There is not a wallet big
>> enough
>> to tempt me away from mine.
>
> And that is very admirable of you. Divorce is so common these days.
> People just give up too quickly on a relationship any more. It saddens
> me. The marriage vows should be taken seriously but they don't seem
> to be these days.
>
> I so admire and envy couples that stay together over time, and weather
> the storms. Then they finally grow old together and still love each
> other. (sigh)

Hey, it might be that we are very lucky and know it!!! Not everyone is so
lucky


--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

On 12/7/2013 9:06 AM, Dave Smith wrote:

FWIW,
> my wife is almost 6 years older than I am.
>
>

I think the law is that a wife must be younger and shorter. Extra
points for less educated.

On 12/7/2013 9:47 AM, Dave Smith wrote:

> A lot of the comments were about dead beat dads. A lot of them expressed
> contempt for a system that would order him to pay such outrageous child
> support. That monthly support works out to $96,000 per year. That means
> he has to gross about $150,000 just to pay child support. Hard to do
> when you are out of work. No wonder the guy has disappeared. I could
> understand it if he had a break down, or if he just didn't want to have
> to work all year just to pay child support.

In a regular family together, if dad loses his job they suck it up and
do what they must to survive. When a divorced dad paying support loses
his job, he is still obligated to pay.

On 2013-12-07 14:29:00 +0000, sf said:

> On Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:31:58 +1100, John J > wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 22:55:10 -0800, gtr > wrote:
>>
>>> We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
>>> don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
>>> criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.
>>
>> Strange hangup.
>
> Not really. To put it into different words, he wants to be with an
> outgoing person - not an introvert.

I thought the "strange hangup" was somebody who's frightened to sing. I
don't think it's so much about outging/introverted as it is somebody
how's fearful of criticism in general. The kind of person that can
generally say, "I don't care what other people think".

On 2013-12-07 08:10:09 +0000, jmcquown said:

> On 12/7/2013 1:55 AM, gtr wrote:
>> On 2013-12-07 05:35:33 +0000, jmcquown said:
>>
>>>> No, I haven't. The thing about refusing to sing is really a statement
>>>> about their personal fears, about hyper-sensitivity about exposing
>>>> themselves to criticism.
>>>
>>> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...
>>
>> Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
>> singing, but I'm not.
>>
> Let's put it this way... when my SO tries to sing to get me identify a
> song, he's way off key. No one wants to hear that.

YOU don't want to hear that. I'm a musician so you'd think I'd give a
damn, but I don't. I care more about people enjoying themselves and
having fun than I do about what's "good" and what's "bad". Not
everybody is A) As judgemental as you think or B) as judgemental as
your experience reflects.

> Really and truly. Those are the folks who do Karaoke.

Oh goodie: Karaoke as one-size-fits-all cultural meme for Celebrity vs.
Loser. The "kind of people who bitch about the kind of people who do
Karaoke"; I'll put them on my list.

>>> ...and find no reason why they should subject themselves to
>>> humiliation or criticism by trying to sing.
>>
>> We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
>> don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
>> criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.
>>
> We are not in agreement. I had to try out for music class when I was a
> child. It was embarrassing.

Some people get over the embarassments of childhood fears of other's
judgment. Some don't. I can't fix broken humans, and so don't want to
wed them.

> I happen to have a good voice and good pitch. But I hate singing in
> front of people. I'm sure as heck not going to *audition* like that
> for a relationship. That's just silly.

Audition?!? You've now contorted what you perceive to be MY judgement
into a certain shape which it doesn't resemble in the least and
cagegorizied it under "judgment", which it specifically is not. As I
said before, it's not about "good" and "bad". I don't give a damn
whether a woman can sing well or not. If she asks "Say, do you know
that song 'For Once in My Life', and I say "Sing a few bars, maybe I
do". And she says "NO!" That's what I'm talking about. Somebody who
won't sing "Happy Birthday" because it might be "wrong" or they might
be criticized.

> I sing when I feel like singing. Not on command.

Who the **** said they had to sing on command!? Do you contort all your
maladies into what you perceive other people are thinking? Cause
you've got my thinking wrong on every single count.

A great old song comes on the radio and the gang sings it. But not
Peggy, Peggy is afraid she'll be judged. She's afraid someone--while
having a good time that is unrelated to her skill set will stop and
castigate her. I don't know where she picked up in life, a mean
parent, and overbearing husband, but I can't help that kind of person
and don't want to hang with them. It's a small marker. But it's
amarker.

On 2013-12-07 10:26:51 +0000, Ophelia said:

> I've sung in choirs since I was a child but he can't hit any note He
> does it sometimes on purpose and it makes us giggle.

Bingo! That's the way it oughta be.

On 2013-12-07 15:17:11 +0000, Ophelia said:

> "sf" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On Sat, 7 Dec 2013 10:26:51 -0000, "Ophelia"
>> > wrote:
>>
>>> I've sung in choirs since I was a child but he can't hit any note He does
>>> it sometimes on purpose and it makes us giggle.
>>
>> My husband seems to sing everything using only one note too.
>
> Aww

Perhaps there are a lot more judgemental people in the world than I thought.

On 2013-12-07 12:50:14 +0000, Ed Pawlowski said:

> On Fri, 6 Dec 2013 22:55:10 -0800, gtr > wrote:
>
>>> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...
>>
>> Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
>> singing, but I'm not.
>
> I think I can prove you wrong on that. Won't take me more than a few
> notes.

To prove your bad? I've just said, I don't CARE whether it's good or
bad, people sing. PERIOD. You can't find me a child that can't sing,
but eventually they get hung up on the good/bad thing. Same with
dancing and every other joyous thing that seems to get beaten out of
many of us.

> wrote in message
...

> Well yes actually - for about twenty years as my husband declined I
> picked up all work - and did not mind, he couldn't help it. I did all
> the yardwork, mowing, snow clearing, tree trimming. I also maintained
> and cared for our boat. I did all the driving as well, though he
> could drive the boat which was the main reason we kept it.
>
> Perhaps it just made me notice it more and not relish the thought of
> picking up the reins again for two when I could do it for just one. So
> try and imply I am lazy, anyone who knows me would tell you I was
> never that !

You looked after your husband and did everything for him! There is no
requirement for you to do all that for a new person with whom you have no
history. Why the hell should you? Take no notice! You did everything for
your husband and you can be proud of that. You don't have to pick up for
just anyone!!!

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/