Seeing as it is 'Australia Day' here on 26th January, I thought I might just
let you know a little about ourselves!........So, here is where we start
from.......


THE AUSSIE VERSION OF CREATION

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy
matches, going to the beach.....

And BBQ's......

He created night for going prawning,
sleeping and BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water....for surfing, swimming, and BBQ's on
the beach,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants to provide
malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good..

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans ,chops, sausages,
steak and prawns for BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke to go to the footy, enjoy the beach,
drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was
good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go
to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.

So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes, and God
saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard
the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He
smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it
was good .. ...

Well.... Almost good.....

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to
cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just
good.....

It was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!!!!

Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

"Bigbazza" > wrote in
:

> Seeing as it is 'Australia Day' here on 26th January, I thought I might
> just let you know a little about ourselves!........So, here is where we
> start from.......
>


Onya Baz!!! you beat me to the punch on an Australia Day post, but here's
mine anyway's............



God bless Australia


WE ARE ONE

We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheila's and the occasional
******. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from
New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we
reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. We
are One Nation but divided into many States.

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in
*******s. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand
final day, and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief
marketing pitch is that "it's liveable". At least that's what they think.
The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin
books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has
more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its
mascots are Bondi lifesavers that pull their Speedos up their cracks to
keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.


Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family
that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra
chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest
faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the
Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of
foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where
else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in
Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the
Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One
drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. It's main claim
to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the
men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last
state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the
government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep
stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty
kids with big smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere
on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of
anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national
culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to flyover it on our way
to Bali.


And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document
defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God
probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next.


Oh yes.... and there's Canberra. The less said the better.

We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists
and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our
lust for international recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy
when a rag tag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better
than Beijing. We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political
party albeit a redneck gun toting one, can get a million votes and still
not win one seat in Federal Parliament. Not that we're whingeing, we leave
that to our Pommy immigrants.

We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right
mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem (so
what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide). We love
sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race
and still tell us who's winning.

And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like
cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and
horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies, and the
worst dressed Olympians in the known universe. Only in Australia can a
pizza delivery get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in
Australia do we have bank doors wide open, no security guards, or cameras
but chain the pens to the desk.

Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and
****ed by lunchtime. Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded,
sports obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.

I am, you are, we are Australian!

P.S We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National
Crest!!!! No other country has this distinction!

*****HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY*****


(As an aside, we are also a people who are quite at ease taking the ****
out of ourselves, something quite a few other "civilised" countries around
the world might take a lesson from.)

January 26th is International Australia Day, so c'mon all you Yanks and
Europeans, throw some prawns/shrimp on the barbie, before you put that
bloody lamb chop on there, crack a coldie and raise your glass to your
'downunder' cousins!! :-)


--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia

Killfile all Google Groups posters.........

http://improve-usenet.org/

http://improve-usenet.org/filters_bg.html

In article >,
"Bigbazza" > wrote:

> He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
> So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to
> cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just
> good.....

He made the Blokes unintelligible, yet the Sheilas sound like angels.
Why is that? I already know the "blokes are drunk" punchline.
Happy, but I think slightly premature, Australia Day to everyone in OZ!

leo

Leonard Blaisdell > wrote in news:leoblaisdell-
:

> In article >,
> "Bigbazza" > wrote:
>
>> He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
>> So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to
>> cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just
>> good.....
>

> Happy, but I think slightly premature, Australia Day to everyone in OZ!
>



Thank you......... only 2 wakies to go :-)



--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia

Killfile all Google Groups posters.........

http://improve-usenet.org/

http://improve-usenet.org/filters_bg.html

"PeterL1" > wrote in message
...
> "Bigbazza" > wrote in
> :
>
>> Seeing as it is 'Australia Day' here on 26th January, I thought I might
>> just let you know a little about ourselves!........So, here is where we
>> start from.......
>>
>
>
> Onya Baz!!! you beat me to the punch on an Australia Day post, but here's
> mine anyway's............
>
>
>
> God bless Australia
>
>
> WE ARE ONE
>
> We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheila's and the occasional
> ******. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from
> New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we
> reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. We
> are One Nation but divided into many States.
>
> First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in
> *******s. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand
> final day, and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief
> marketing pitch is that "it's liveable". At least that's what they think.
> The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.
>
> Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin
> books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has
> more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its
> mascots are Bondi lifesavers that pull their Speedos up their cracks to
> keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.
>
>
> Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family
> that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra
> chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest
> faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the
> Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.
>
> South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of
> foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where
> else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in
> Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the
> Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One
> drivers to sleep at the wheel.
>
> Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. It's main claim
> to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the
> men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last
> state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the
> government and business.
>
> The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep
> stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty
> kids with big smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere
> on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of
> anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national
> culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to flyover it on our way
> to Bali.
>
>
> And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document
> defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God
> probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next.
>
>
> Oh yes.... and there's Canberra. The less said the better.
>
> We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists
> and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our
> lust for international recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy
> when a rag tag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better
> than Beijing. We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political
> party albeit a redneck gun toting one, can get a million votes and still
> not win one seat in Federal Parliament. Not that we're whingeing, we leave
> that to our Pommy immigrants.
>
> We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right
> mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem (so
> what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide). We love
> sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race
> and still tell us who's winning.
>
> And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like
> cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and
> horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies, and the
> worst dressed Olympians in the known universe. Only in Australia can a
> pizza delivery get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in
> Australia do we have bank doors wide open, no security guards, or cameras
> but chain the pens to the desk.
>
> Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and
> ****ed by lunchtime. Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded,
> sports obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.
>
> I am, you are, we are Australian!
>
> P.S We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National
> Crest!!!! No other country has this distinction!
>
> *****HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY*****
>
>
> (As an aside, we are also a people who are quite at ease taking the ****
> out of ourselves, something quite a few other "civilised" countries around
> the world might take a lesson from.)
>
> January 26th is International Australia Day, so c'mon all you Yanks and
> Europeans, throw some prawns/shrimp on the barbie, before you put that
> bloody lamb chop on there, crack a coldie and raise your glass to your
> 'downunder' cousins!! :-)
>
>
> --
> Peter Lucas
> Brisbane
> Australia
>
> Killfile all Google Groups posters.........
>
> http://improve-usenet.org/
>
> http://improve-usenet.org/filters_bg.html


That's a beaut one, Peter....I have 'borrowed' it to further 'Denigrate' us
Mate :-))
--
Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

"Happiness is never an accident. It is the prize we get when we choose
wisely from life's great stores"

PeterL1 wrote:
> Leonard Blaisdell > wrote in news:leoblaisdell-
> :
>
>> In article >,
>> "Bigbazza" > wrote:
>>
>>> He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
>>> So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to
>>> cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just
>>> good.....
>
>> Happy, but I think slightly premature, Australia Day to everyone in OZ!
>>
>
>
>
> Thank you......... only 2 wakies to go :-)
>
>
>
Bah I have to work
still double time

"Bigbazza" > wrote in
:

>
> "PeterL1" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Bigbazza" > wrote in
>> :
>>
>>> Seeing as it is 'Australia Day' here on 26th January, I thought I
>>> might just let you know a little about ourselves!........So, here is
>>> where we start from.......
>>>
>>
>>
>> Onya Baz!!! you beat me to the punch on an Australia Day post, but
>> here's mine anyway's............
>>

>
>
> That's a beaut one, Peter....I have 'borrowed' it to further 'Denigrate'
> us Mate :-))




No worries mate, she'll be right ;-)



--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia

Killfile all Google Groups posters.........

http://improve-usenet.org/

http://improve-usenet.org/filters_bg.html

atec 77 <"atec > wrote in
:

> PeterL1 wrote:
>> Leonard Blaisdell > wrote in
>> news:leoblaisdell- :
>>
>>> In article >,
>>> "Bigbazza" > wrote:
>>>
>>>> He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
>>>> So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to
>>>> wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was
>>>> not just good.....
>>
>>> Happy, but I think slightly premature, Australia Day to everyone in
>>> OZ!
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Thank you......... only 2 wakies to go :-)
>>
>>
>>
> Bah I have to work
> still double time
>



Only if you have that piece of paper that say's you're an Aussie ;-P


We've all got the day off, so we're organising a little pick-in-ick/BBQ in
a local park. I'm cooking the prawns up tomorrow and I'll stick them on
ice overnight so's they're ice cold for Tuesday...... making some of my
famous potato salad..... the boss wants some bloody lamb chops (and the SO
is very happy about that!!)...... got some gourmet snags, some Wagyu
burgers, going to take some eye fillet for me, and will get the green
stuff tomorrow along with some bread and ice for the drinks esky.

BYO booze and little plate of something to share.

I'm thinking I'm going to do the Orange, Pistachio and Cinnamon cake with
orange syrup that I was telling K4 (Koko) about.

So far, there's going to be about 25 of us. Should be a good day :-)



--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia

Killfile all Google Groups posters.........

http://improve-usenet.org/

http://improve-usenet.org/filters_bg.html

PeterL1 wrote:
> atec 77 <"atec > wrote in
> :
>
>> PeterL1 wrote:
>>> Leonard Blaisdell > wrote in
>>> news:leoblaisdell- :
>>>
>>>> In article >,
>>>> "Bigbazza" > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
>>>>> So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to
>>>>> wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was
>>>>> not just good.....
>>>> Happy, but I think slightly premature, Australia Day to everyone in
>>>> OZ!
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Thank you......... only 2 wakies to go :-)
>>>
>>>
>>>
>> Bah I have to work
>> still double time
>>
>
>
>
> Only if you have that piece of paper that say's you're an Aussie ;-P

not that it matters as there are plenty who do also and most certainly
fail to make grade
>
>
> We've all got the day off, so we're organising a little pick-in-ick/BBQ in
> a local park. I'm cooking the prawns up tomorrow and I'll stick them on
> ice overnight so's they're ice cold for Tuesday...... making some of my
> famous potato salad..... the boss wants some bloody lamb chops (and the SO
> is very happy about that!!)...... got some gourmet snags, some Wagyu
> burgers, going to take some eye fillet for me, and will get the green
> stuff tomorrow along with some bread and ice for the drinks esky.
>
> BYO booze and little plate of something to share.
>
> I'm thinking I'm going to do the Orange, Pistachio and Cinnamon cake with
> orange syrup that I was telling K4 (Koko) about.
>
> So far, there's going to be about 25 of us. Should be a good day :-)
To be frank I am willing to to work as so's family are having the
yearly gathering
and trying to deal with 300 of them is over the top
>
>
>

On Sun, 24 Jan 2010 14:19:46 +1100, "Bigbazza" >
wrote:

>> "Bigbazza" > wrote in
>> :
>>
>>> Seeing as it is 'Australia Day' here on 26th January, I thought I might
>>> just let you know a little about ourselves!........So, here is where we
>>> start from.......
>>>
Thanks for the head's up. I sent my friend (who moved to Australia)
an ecard.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.