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Old 16-06-2009, 09:30 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:

Dear Guys,

I do understand that enjoying your movies requires a certain willingness
to accept absurd premises. For example, the apparent inability to dial
911. But there is a certain vignette that has cropped up with
increasing frequency in recent years that makes it difficult to suspend
disbelief and relax into the experience. I am speaking, specifically,
of the "girl on girl" make-out scene.

First off, a review of Female Sex Drive 101... Surely some of you are
or have been in a relationship with a female? Any recollection of the
effect of stress on the feminine libido? Have you ever come on to a
woman facing a final exam, a performance review, or who is caring for a
sick child? How'd that work out for you? Never mind being chased by
monsters... But we'll set that aside, like the whole "call 911" thing.

Even assuming that a woman under duress would be comforted by sexual
advances, most of us are straight. Not bisexual or even "bi-curious",
just plain vanilla straight. We like dudes. We would be as likely to
make out with the family pet as with another woman (go ahead, ask my
border collie, Scully, what happens when she tries to french kiss me).
I guarantee the reaction would fall somewhere along the continuum
ranging from "Excuse me, I think you've mistaken me for someone else",
to "WTF!? Are you nuts?", to brisk attempt to push the importunate
female's nose out through the back of her skull.

Yes, I know, the notion makes your winkies waggle. And maybe watching a
cute guy succumb, hesitantly, awkwardly, but with increasing enthusiasm,
to the advances of a male hottie while under ridiculously dangerous
circumstances might be titillating. But I couldn't say for sure 'CAUSE
I'VE NEVER SEEN IT!

Turn about is fair play, gentlemen.

On behalf of your straight female fan base,

Kathleen



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Old 16-06-2009, 09:34 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...


"Kathleen" wrote in message
...
To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:

Dear Guys,

I do understand that enjoying your movies requires a certain willingness
to accept absurd premises. For example, the apparent inability to dial
911. But there is a certain vignette that has cropped up with
increasing frequency in recent years that makes it difficult to suspend
disbelief and relax into the experience. I am speaking, specifically,
of the "girl on girl" make-out scene.

First off, a review of Female Sex Drive 101... Surely some of you are
or have been in a relationship with a female? Any recollection of the
effect of stress on the feminine libido? Have you ever come on to a
woman facing a final exam, a performance review, or who is caring for a
sick child? How'd that work out for you? Never mind being chased by
monsters... But we'll set that aside, like the whole "call 911" thing.

Even assuming that a woman under duress would be comforted by sexual
advances, most of us are straight. Not bisexual or even "bi-curious",
just plain vanilla straight. We like dudes. We would be as likely to
make out with the family pet as with another woman (go ahead, ask my
border collie, Scully, what happens when she tries to french kiss me).
I guarantee the reaction would fall somewhere along the continuum
ranging from "Excuse me, I think you've mistaken me for someone else",
to "WTF!? Are you nuts?", to brisk attempt to push the importunate
female's nose out through the back of her skull.

Yes, I know, the notion makes your winkies waggle. And maybe watching a
cute guy succumb, hesitantly, awkwardly, but with increasing enthusiasm,
to the advances of a male hottie while under ridiculously dangerous
circumstances might be titillating. But I couldn't say for sure 'CAUSE
I'VE NEVER SEEN IT!

Turn about is fair play, gentlemen.

On behalf of your straight female fan base,

Kathleen





Kathleen,

Go cook something.

Tom


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Old 16-06-2009, 09:41 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

On Jun 16, 3:30 pm, Kathleen wrote:
To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:


Did this group change to alt.i.hate.horror.flicks?

N.
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Old 16-06-2009, 09:44 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

Kathleen wrote:
To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:

Dear Guys,

I do understand that enjoying your movies requires a certain willingness
to accept absurd premises. For example, the apparent inability to dial
911. But there is a certain vignette that has cropped up with
increasing frequency in recent years that makes it difficult to suspend
disbelief and relax into the experience. I am speaking, specifically,
of the "girl on girl" make-out scene.

First off, a review of Female Sex Drive 101... Surely some of you are
or have been in a relationship with a female? Any recollection of the
effect of stress on the feminine libido? Have you ever come on to a
woman facing a final exam, a performance review, or who is caring for a
sick child? How'd that work out for you? Never mind being chased by
monsters... But we'll set that aside, like the whole "call 911" thing.

Even assuming that a woman under duress would be comforted by sexual
advances, most of us are straight. Not bisexual or even "bi-curious",
just plain vanilla straight. We like dudes. We would be as likely to
make out with the family pet as with another woman (go ahead, ask my
border collie, Scully, what happens when she tries to french kiss me).
I guarantee the reaction would fall somewhere along the continuum
ranging from "Excuse me, I think you've mistaken me for someone else",
to "WTF!? Are you nuts?", to brisk attempt to push the importunate
female's nose out through the back of her skull.


I see a lot of openly ***/bi chicks down on 6th street in Austin on party
night (any Friday or Saturday). And most of them are are really hot.
They go around grabbing each others tits and snatches and planting wet
ones on each other.

They get a few drinks in them, they seem to go for either sex. OTOH, the
guys stick to just a few bars and I never have to see their antics,
thankfully.

I think it's much easier for a woman to have sex with another woman than
for a guy to do another guy. *******ism is natural, but man on man is
just plain demented.

-sw
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Old 16-06-2009, 10:15 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

On Jun 16, 3:30*pm, Kathleen wrote:
To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:


Why would you want to watch B horror movies anyway?

Dear Guys,

I do understand that enjoying your movies requires a certain willingness
to accept absurd premises. For example, the apparent inability to dial
911.


What I wonder is why it always takes them until halfway through the
movie to figure out that you have to go for the zombie's head. In
Night of the Living Dead I understand, but what is hard to buy into is
in subsequent movies I'm supposed to believe that there's a WHOLE town
where NO ONE has ever seen Night of the Living Dead. I'm sorry,
that's just not plausible.

But there is a certain vignette that has cropped up with
increasing frequency in recent years that makes it difficult to suspend
disbelief and relax into the experience. I am speaking, specifically,
of the "girl on girl" make-out scene.

If you like nice hetero kissing with nice looking guys and gals, this
episode of Roswell is chock full:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4563/roswell-sexual-healing
The Max-Liz stuff is just beautiful.

Kathleen


--Bryan


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Old 16-06-2009, 10:56 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

Bobo Bonobo® wrote:

On Jun 16, 3:30 pm, Kathleen wrote:

To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:



Why would you want to watch B horror movies anyway?

Dear Guys,

I do understand that enjoying your movies requires a certain willingness
to accept absurd premises. For example, the apparent inability to dial
911.



What I wonder is why it always takes them until halfway through the
movie to figure out that you have to go for the zombie's head. In
Night of the Living Dead I understand, but what is hard to buy into is
in subsequent movies I'm supposed to believe that there's a WHOLE town
where NO ONE has ever seen Night of the Living Dead. I'm sorry,
that's just not plausible.


Well yeah. Like I'd assume the zombie/vampire/psycho freak I just bitch
slapped was dead and just TURN MY BACK. Oh hell no. We're talking
chainsaws and/or high explosives, followed up with napalm, then me
kicking the resulting ashes to the four winds.

Call me a "belt and suspenders" kinda gal.

OB food: Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day

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Old 17-06-2009, 12:17 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

In article ,
Kathleen wrote:

To the writers, directors and producers of B horror flicks:

Dear Guys,

I do understand that enjoying your movies requires a certain willingness
to accept absurd premises. For example, the apparent inability to dial
911. But there is a certain vignette that has cropped up with
increasing frequency in recent years that makes it difficult to suspend
disbelief and relax into the experience. I am speaking, specifically,
of the "girl on girl" make-out scene.

First off, a review of Female Sex Drive 101... Surely some of you are
or have been in a relationship with a female? Any recollection of the
effect of stress on the feminine libido? Have you ever come on to a
woman facing a final exam, a performance review, or who is caring for a
sick child? How'd that work out for you? Never mind being chased by
monsters... But we'll set that aside, like the whole "call 911" thing.

Even assuming that a woman under duress would be comforted by sexual
advances, most of us are straight. Not bisexual or even "bi-curious",
just plain vanilla straight. We like dudes. We would be as likely to
make out with the family pet as with another woman (go ahead, ask my
border collie, Scully, what happens when she tries to french kiss me).


chuckles

I guarantee the reaction would fall somewhere along the continuum
ranging from "Excuse me, I think you've mistaken me for someone else",
to "WTF!? Are you nuts?", to brisk attempt to push the importunate
female's nose out through the back of her skull.


Happily.


Yes, I know, the notion makes your winkies waggle. And maybe watching a
cute guy succumb, hesitantly, awkwardly, but with increasing enthusiasm,
to the advances of a male hottie while under ridiculously dangerous
circumstances might be titillating. But I couldn't say for sure 'CAUSE
I'VE NEVER SEEN IT!

Turn about is fair play, gentlemen.


That might be interesting!


On behalf of your straight female fan base,

Kathleen


lol Well written! :-)
And oh so true...
--
Peace! Om

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.


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Old 17-06-2009, 12:19 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

In article ,
Sqwertz wrote:

I think it's much easier for a woman to have sex with another woman than
for a guy to do another guy. *******ism is natural, but man on man is
just plain demented.

-sw


I see you don't know women anywhere near as well as you thought you
did... I personally find the idea to be downright repugnant.
--
Peace! Om

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.


Subscribe:

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Old 17-06-2009, 12:20 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

In article ,
Kathleen wrote:

OB food: Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day


Big bag of pistachios for mine, and I'm considering roasting that duck I
have in the freezer. It'll also be his birthday.
--
Peace! Om

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.


Subscribe:

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Old 17-06-2009, 12:36 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

On Jun 16, 6:20*pm, Omelet wrote:
In article ,

*Kathleen wrote:
OB food: *Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day


Big bag of pistachios for mine, and I'm considering roasting that duck I
have in the freezer. *It'll also be his birthday.


The frozen duck came with a "Born On Date" ??? Texas is weird.
--
Peace! Om

--Bryan


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Old 17-06-2009, 12:43 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

Bryan wrote:
On Jun 16, 6:20 pm, Omelet wrote:
In article ,

Kathleen wrote:
OB food: Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day

Big bag of pistachios for mine, and I'm considering roasting that duck I
have in the freezer. It'll also be his birthday.


The frozen duck came with a "Born On Date" ??? Texas is weird.


I find it distasteful to roast and devour someone on their birthday. I'm
surprised that the Jew have no restrictions at all on this barbaric
practice.

OTOH, it would be kind of funny to see a roast wearing a party hat on
it's head or neck stump. So festive! :-)

--
Peace! Om

--Bryan

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Old 17-06-2009, 12:47 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

On Jun 16, 6:43*pm, dsi1 wrote:
Bryan wrote:
On Jun 16, 6:20 pm, Omelet wrote:
In article ,


*Kathleen wrote:
OB food: *Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day
Big bag of pistachios for mine, and I'm considering roasting that duck I
have in the freezer. *It'll also be his birthday.


The frozen duck came with a "Born On Date" ??? *Texas is weird.


I find it distasteful to roast and devour someone on their birthday. I'm
surprised that the Jew have no restrictions at all on this barbaric
practice.


What's this "Jew" thing. Om isn't Jewish.

OTOH, it would be kind of funny to see a roast wearing a party hat on
it's head or neck stump. So festive! :-)



--
Peace! Om


--Bryan


--Bryan
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Old 17-06-2009, 01:28 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

Bryan wrote:
On Jun 16, 6:43 pm, dsi1 wrote:
Bryan wrote:
On Jun 16, 6:20 pm, Omelet wrote:
In article ,
Kathleen wrote:
OB food: Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day
Big bag of pistachios for mine, and I'm considering roasting that duck I
have in the freezer. It'll also be his birthday.
The frozen duck came with a "Born On Date" ??? Texas is weird.

I find it distasteful to roast and devour someone on their birthday. I'm
surprised that the Jew have no restrictions at all on this barbaric
practice.


What's this "Jew" thing. Om isn't Jewish.


You misunderstand. I wasn't talking about Om, although she could be
Jewish. How would I know? I do know that there are Jews in Texas - well
at least one. I'm talking about the practice of eating animals on their
birthday - it stinks. Why do you think the Texas ducks includes DOB? So
you don't roast them on the wrong date - duh!

OTOH, it would be kind of funny to see a roast wearing a party hat on
it's head or neck stump. So festive! :-)



--
Peace! Om
--Bryan


--Bryan

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Old 17-06-2009, 01:35 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

On Jun 16, 7:28*pm, dsi1 wrote:
Bryan wrote:
On Jun 16, 6:43 pm, dsi1 wrote:
Bryan wrote:
On Jun 16, 6:20 pm, Omelet wrote:
In article ,
*Kathleen wrote:
OB food: *Butter almond toffee for my dad for Father's Day
Big bag of pistachios for mine, and I'm considering roasting that duck I
have in the freezer. *It'll also be his birthday.
The frozen duck came with a "Born On Date" ??? *Texas is weird.
I find it distasteful to roast and devour someone on their birthday. I'm
surprised that the Jew have no restrictions at all on this barbaric
practice.


What's this "Jew" thing. *Om isn't Jewish.


You misunderstand. I wasn't talking about Om, although she could be
Jewish. How would I know? I do know that there are Jews in Texas - well
at least one. I'm talking about the practice of eating animals on their
birthday - it stinks. Why do you think the Texas ducks includes DOB? So
you don't roast them on the wrong date - duh!

I'm pretty up to speed on Old Testament dietary laws, and there's
nothing in there about not roasting a waterfowl on its birthday.

Deuteronomy 14:21 does say:
Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it
unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou
mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the
LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.

OTOH, it would be kind of funny to see a roast wearing a party hat on
it's head or neck stump. So festive! :-)


--
Peace! Om
--Bryan


--Bryan


--Bryan
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Old 17-06-2009, 02:01 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT - Oh, for Pete's sake...

Bryan wrote:

I'm pretty up to speed on Old Testament dietary laws, and there's
nothing in there about not roasting a waterfowl on its birthday.

Deuteronomy 14:21 does say:
Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it
unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou
mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the
LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.


Thanks for citing this. I won't comment on God's OK to sell tainted meat
to strangers at the gate. :-) The idea of an animal being cooked in it's
mother's milk so horrified the Jews that they separate the pans used for
cooking meat from any that may touch milk. This is good policy, I think.
My point is that they have no restrictions on cooking an animal on it's
birthday - that stinks. For us humans, a birthday means we get free
cake. For ducks, it means you could get roasted or made into peeking duck.


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