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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for disposable containers If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. It's a lovely thought, and practical. Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. Call the day before to let them know. Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it doesn't look that way. Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) -- -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.) |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message ... > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for > disposable containers > > If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, > stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. > > Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large > supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I > always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. > It's a lovely thought, and practical. > > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar > to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. > Call the day before to let them know. > > Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in > advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do > insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the > circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it > doesn't look that way. > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) > -- > -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.) Damn woman you're good. What great advise. Dimitri |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message ... > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for > disposable containers > > If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, > stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. > > Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large > supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I > always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. > It's a lovely thought, and practical. > > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar > to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. > Call the day before to let them know. > > Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in > advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do > insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the > circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it > doesn't look that way. > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) > -- > -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.) A loud, emphatic yes to everything. Great advice. And your last paragraph - our family has lived through that, too, so I couldn't agree more. Dora |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:25:13 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote: >If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the >bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. >There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for >disposable containers > >If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, >stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. > >Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large >supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I >always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. >It's a lovely thought, and practical. > >Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if >they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese >tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will >be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > >If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar >to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. >Call the day before to let them know. > >Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in >advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do >insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the >circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it >doesn't look that way. > >Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to >stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't >laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will >"inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) A good list, Barb. My grandfather died this past summer and the amount of food that came down on us was incredible. Of course, we were expecting it and with the extended family being there and family friends coming by we eventually managed to put it all away or send it off with people. We let my grandmother do only what she pleased and no more, the rest of us handled anything that needed doing. What became a problem for us was the live plants! My grandfather was always an outgoing person so we weren't surprised at the number of people who showed up and the cut flowers. But he received enough live plants to fill the bed of my pick up truck. Filled my grandmother's living room. She insisted that everyone in the family take some home with them and she still had more than she wanted. Have the admit, the peace lily makes my work area look nicer and I think of him every time I water it. ......Alan. -- Curiosity killed the cat - lack of it is killing mankind. |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message ... (snipped practical advice) All very good suggestions. One thoughtful soul sent tea bags, sugar, disposable plates and cups when Mom died. It meant we had to spend less time at the sink and despite being very ecology minded I welcomed them. A cousin brought a 40 ouncer of Canadian Club, mix and plastic glasses. It also came in handy -- but at the next wake I hope someone delivers Guinness. ;o) > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) At the funeral home when my husband's mom died, someone approached us to ask about renting/buying her house. Gabby |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message ... > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) > -- Great ideas, Barb, as usual. Lotsa folks (include me) don't really know what to do other than show up at the wake or say 'my condolences'. So...ummm....when can ya start hittin' on the widow/er? Jack Fresh |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
In article > ,
"Dimitri" > wrote: > "Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message > ... > > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. > > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days > > for > > disposable containers > > > > If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, > > stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. > > > > Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large > > supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I > > always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. > > It's a lovely thought, and practical. > > > > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children > > will > > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > > > If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar > > to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. > > Call the day before to let them know. > > > > Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days > > in > > advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do > > insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the > > circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it > > doesn't look that way. > > > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) > > -- > > -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats > > tab, > too.) > > Damn woman you're good. > > What great advise. > > Dimitri > > I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through) feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the mail, etc. Even if they're in town, some of the daily tasks might be overwhelming. Offer to take care of picking up dry cleaning, doing a load of laundry (especially in the case of a young widow/widower with children). It's amazing how much one doesn't want to do anything when grieving - or, conversely, wants to do everything to the point of exhaustion. Someone to step in is a needed and valued thing. -- Nancy Howells (don't forget to switch it, and replace the to send mail). |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:25:13 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote: >If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the >bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. >There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for >disposable containers > >If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, >stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. Excellent advise. > >Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large >supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I >always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. >It's a lovely thought, and practical. Depends on family's fruit consumption. Fruit, like flowers, has a limited shelf life. I just *kills* me to receive a Christmas "gift" of a dozen pears or avocados I will surely be unable to consume before they spoil. However, food banks are always there. >If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar >to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. >Call the day before to let them know. Good idea. The same in the case of lingering illness. When my mother was dying, friends organized(!) and brought dinner casseroles and desserts for an extended period. That is, one family meal per day. |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message ... > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for > disposable containers > Good advice Barb. May I add to the last paragraph that if you don't attend the wake or funeral, don't call the bereaved, don't send a card.. in other words do absolutely nothing to acknowledge the death of the loved one then don't come waltzing into the funeral reception in crappy clothes looking for free eats. Yup... had that happen last summer when my hubby passed on. As to what to say.. trying to think where I read it.. but it always bothered me that people would say.. he looks so good.. I know how you feel.. etc etc... What you can say is that you loved or liked the deceased very much and you are really going to miss him or that you are sorry and that you are available if you need to talk or to ask what you can do to help. And keep criticisms of the wake and funeral to yourself! From my recent experience the people who complained (wake only 2 hours, service done by friends and family with minister acting as master of ceremonies and adding only the necessary words here and there) never offered to help. Debbie |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
In article >, Dog3
> wrote: > Melba's Jammin' > deliciously posted in > : > > > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable > > containers. > > > > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these > > days for disposable containers > Now this was good advice. Some of the disposable items need special > cooking advice too. Maybe taped on the bottom or top. I forgot to mention that if things are packaged in those cheap foil pans, they can be presented all covered up with heavy foil with a note attached with instructions to freeze, then thawing and baking instructions. >I think the Glad brand has to be on a baking sheet with the lid off. >God Barb, how do you come up with all this good advice? Let's see now. . . . . I've buried my dad (when I was six -- okay, so I didn't cook then), my mom, a sister and part of her family (3 dead), a brother, five brothers-in-law (glad to see one SOB go -- I was softly singing "Happy Trails to You" during his service), two really good friends, a high school classmate, four neighbors, parents of three neighbors, and four long-time family friends. I got experience! "-) -- -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.) |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Nancy Howells" > wrote in message
... > I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks > that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved > have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through) > feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the > mail, etc. And I will add to your additions that you shouldn't use the following language with a person consumed by grief: 'Let me know if I can do anything to help you.' That kind of seemingly helpful statement puts the onus on the grieving person to not only recognize when they need help, but also to ask for it. Instead, let them answer a question with only yes or no, maybe something like this: 'How about I help you out by walking the dog for the next few days?' If they say yes to whatever you've offered, write it down somewhere prominent in their house so they'll remember it, and so any other people offering them help will know someone has already committed to taking care of that task. Cate |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Melba's Jammin' wrote:
> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days > for disposable containers > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans > to stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) And I know it happens, which is really pitiful. Someone you (not *you* Barb, the collective you) claim to have loved has died and all you can think is me, me, me, what am I gonna get? Tacky, tacky, tacky. Thanks for the excellent suggestions. Jill |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
jmcquown wrote:
> Melba's Jammin' wrote: > >>If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the >>bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. >>There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days >>for disposable containers >> >>Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans >>to stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't >>laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will >>"inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) > > > And I know it happens, which is really pitiful. Someone you (not *you* > Barb, the collective you) claim to have loved has died and all you can think > is me, me, me, what am I gonna get? Tacky, tacky, tacky. > > Thanks for the excellent suggestions. > > Jill > > The collective term for you is "y'all". HTH :-) Bob |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
>From: Nancy Howells
>I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks >that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved >have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through) >feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the >mail, etc. > >Even if they're in town, some of the daily tasks might be overwhelming. >Offer to take care of picking up dry cleaning, doing a load of laundry >(especially in the case of a young widow/widower with children). > >It's amazing how much one doesn't want to do anything when grieving - >or, conversely, wants to do everything to the point of exhaustion. >Someone to step in is a needed and valued thing. > >-- >Nancy Howells As someone who has had a recent death of a young adult in our family, only days before my first grandchild was born - as well as several untimely and tragic deaths over the past couple decades, I'd like to offer some other advice. Death, while part of the circle of life, isn't timed well, and often happens near a holiday, birthday or other special family event. When my father and brother passed away suddenly, it was right before my daughter's first birthday. I was going to cancel the already planned party, but my family insisted that we must focus on the new little lives in our family, no matter how much we were grieving. We did, and the party was held at a children's party center, with all the cousins, aunts, uncles and our mother attending. For a couple hours we were able to celebrate the youth in our family and it was good. When I went to pay the check, the manager came to me with a receipt, completely unaware of our personal family tragedy. The party had been paid for in full by my father only a few days before he and my brother passed away. No words can express how much that meant to us, and how close I came to not realizing my father's last wonderful gesture of love for his family. From then on, we understood the importance of celebrating all the birthdays, the anniversaries, the holidays - even if we stepped in and hosted them for our loved ones in their time of mourning. The tears were replaced by laughter, if even for a little while - and there was comfort in that. So my advice is, no matter how hesitant you might be by intruding in your friend's or loved one's time of mourning to celebrate some special time in their life, please do. Immediate reactions may vary, but in time the memory of that gesture will be of great comfort. I know. Ellen |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
What wonderful advice I've read in this thread. It is helpful to
bring some more pick-up, nibbley kind of food if the household already has plenty of casseroles and the like. A grieving person may not feel like facing a big plate of food, but might pick up a bite here and there of cheese and crackers, fruit, finger sandwiches, crudite. It's nice to think about breakfast, too -- quiches, breakfast sandwiches or burritos, breads, jelly, cream cheese, etc. Also remember to bring any condiments that go along with your dish. Tara |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Jack Schidt® wrote:
> So...ummm....when can ya start hittin' on the widow/er? If you have enough confidence the Goon took his money in good fashion and wont brag around town then I'd say at least 6 months... out in public anyway... once the cops stop asking questions you can prolly start having "late night visits" as soon as 3 months... but if overconfidence and/or alcohol should ever get the best of said Goon - and he brags to one of his buddies in a bar late one night - it might be a good idea - to "take care of him" too... ~john fisher -- What was it like to see - the face of your own stability - suddenly look away... |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Melba's Jammin' > wrote in news:barbschaller-
: > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) Nobody here would be crass enough to ask for those things. (We'd be going through the CDROM's! ) Great set of tips! Thanks! |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
ScratchMonkey wrote:
> > Melba's Jammin' > wrote in news:barbschaller- > : > > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) > > Nobody here would be crass enough to ask for those things. (We'd be going > through the CDROM's! ) > Nope, the cookbooks, of course! gloria p |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
In article >,
Melba's Jammin' > wrote: > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers. > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for > disposable containers > > If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back, > stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name. > > Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large > supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I > always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one. > It's a lovely thought, and practical. > > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar > to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle. > Call the day before to let them know. > > Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in > advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do > insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the > circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it > doesn't look that way. > > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.) Excellent suggestions. My standard gift for bereaved or ill folks is some homemade bread. You don't need to buy a non-returnable container for it. It saves them from having to put all those cold cuts and cheese on Wonder bread (bleah!). It's something they can pop in the freezer if they're inundated with other food. And it's always appreciated. Cindy -- C.J. Fuller Return address to the present tense to email me |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Puester wrote:
>>Nobody here would be crass enough to ask for those things. (We'd be going >>through the CDROM's! ) >> > Nope, the cookbooks, of course! > The quilter's fabric stash! --Lia |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
SportKite1 > wrote:
> So my advice is, no matter how hesitant you might be by intruding in your > friend's or loved one's time of mourning to celebrate some special time in > their life, please do. Immediate reactions may vary, but in time the memory of > that gesture will be of great comfort. I know. Oooo...I'm all choked up. Thanks for this...my brother passed away 2 days before Christmas, and my grandfather a few years later a week before. And it sounds like your dad left quite a nice legacy...showing caring, no matter what. -- 'Tis Herself |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. -- 'Tis Herself |
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Peanuts: (WAS: Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions)
Herself wrote:
> Melba's Jammin' > wrote: > >> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children >> will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, > don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, > and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. > It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When I was a kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts. Jill |
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Peanuts: (WAS: Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions)
On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 05:11:59 -0500, "jmcquown" >
wrote: >Herself wrote: >> Melba's Jammin' > wrote: >> >>> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children >>> will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. >> >> All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, >> don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, >> and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. >> It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. > >What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When I was a >kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts. There's a lot of conjecture about why this increase in nut allergies but the bottom line is, we still don't really understand allergies and how they work and what causes them, so we can't really get at why there's been such an increase. Certainly some of it is simply recognized where it wasn't before. In the past the kids probably would have just died without anyone recognizing the allergic reaction, or they simply "felt bad" when they ate nuts to they avoided them and were content with saying "I don't like nuts" or "I don't eat things with nuts in them". I have a coworker who is in her late 40s early 50s who is very allergic to nuts of all sorts, and her mother is, too. And they didn't have any special way of knowing other than they just got sick if they ate nuts, so they avoided them. It was also easier to avoid nuts, as they didn't make up a large percentage of the diet and they weren't so ubiquitous in the manufacturing equipment. People bought less mass produced foods and more whole foods for a long time, and so there was a less complicated link between a person and their food. Now we have larger food production facilities, and machines are put to a broader spectrum of uses than they used to be, so the chance of there being nut residue in things that don't even have nuts in them is possible. And yet another point... there are some studies that place some blame on our fanatic attachment to cleanliness and sanitation as a possible culprit in allergy development. The immune system doesn't get as exposed to the contaminants that were part of our every day lives until, really, the 1950s or so. There's some conjecture that the fewer challenges the immune system has to face on a daily basis from birth, the more likely it is to over react to things it thinks are microbial invasions. -- Siobhan Perricone "Who would have thought that a bad Austrian artist who's obsessed with the human physical ideal could assemble such a rabid political following?" - www.theonion.com |
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Peanuts: (WAS: Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions)
Siobhan Perricone wrote:
> On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 05:11:59 -0500, "jmcquown" > > wrote: > >> Herself wrote: >>> Melba's Jammin' > wrote: >>> >>>> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children >>>> will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. >>> >>> All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small >>> kids, don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it >>> before 3, >>> and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. >>> It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. >> >> What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When >> I was a kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts. > > There's a lot of conjecture about why this increase in nut allergies > but the bottom line is, we still don't really understand allergies > and how they work and what causes them, so we can't really get at why > there's been such an increase. (snip) > And yet another point... there are some studies that place some blame > on our fanatic attachment to cleanliness and sanitation as a possible > culprit in allergy development. The immune system doesn't get as > exposed to the contaminants that were part of our every day lives > until, really, the 1950s or so. There's some conjecture that the > fewer challenges the immune system has to face on a daily basis from > birth, the more likely it is to over react to things it thinks are > microbial invasions. That's my thinking. I think about how my grandparents and parents grew up. Things weren't pristine clean, to the point where we no longer have a resistance to anything. My Dad's grandmother used to make a huge kettle of apple butter in the same big iron tub he and his brothers used to wash out of on Sundays. The milkman left butter, eggs & milk sitting on the back stoop, unrefrigerated, until my Grandmother bothered to bring them inside. Inside, the block of ice in the ice-box may have been nearly gone until the ice-man cometh <G> Vegetables were grown out back and picked fresh from the yard and they weren't refrigerated. And not necessarily cooked the same day, either. Placed in a cellar, but no guarantee that would be cold. I tend to think we've sanitized ourselves into being more attractive to germs and viruses. Jill |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"Herself" > wrote in message ... > Melba's Jammin' > wrote: > > > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, > don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and > any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too > damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. > Huh? I have never heard this. I see kids eating peanut butter all the time. |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
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Peanuts:
jmcquown > wrote:
> What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When I was a > kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts. Yeah, I know. I've heard a lot of "well, *I* had peanut butter when I was 3, and I'm fine". That's great for you, but my son has never had peanut butter, and ain't no way he's getting it before he's five. Theories abound. It goes from environmental factors (there's more crap in the air---but there was worse crap in the air during the Industrial Rev., perhaps they didn't have peanuts in the main countries then), to genetics (if you are allergic to *anything*, your child has a 40% (?) chance of being food allergic) to looking cross-eyed at a preg woman. They've really spiked the last ten years... -- 'Tis Herself |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"A.T. Hagan" > wrote in message ... > On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 09:29:32 +0100, (Herself) wrote: > > >Melba's Jammin' > wrote: > > > >> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > >> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > >> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > >> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > > >All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, > >don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and > >any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too > >damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. > > I can't say for other kids, but my daughter sure had peanut butter > before she was three. Peanut allergies are also pretty rare. I think > the PB&J idea is a good one. If the kids are under five then the > parents should be fixing their plates for them anyways and they can > make their own call. My kids all had peanut butter by the time they were 1. All 3 had various food allergies (milk and eggs were the biggies) and today I'd keep them far away from peanuts, but peanut allergy wasn't such a big deal 20 years ago. Today peanut allergies are all too frequent. All the schools in our town have had to go peanut free, as well as all Scouting and Guiding groups. There are at least a few kids in each school with the allergy. Gabby |
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Peanuts:
Siobhan Perricone > wrote:
> And yet another point... there are some studies that place some blame on > our fanatic attachment to cleanliness and sanitation as a possible culprit > in allergy development. The immune system doesn't get as exposed to the > contaminants that were part of our every day lives until, really, the 1950s > or so. There's some conjecture that the fewer challenges the immune system > has to face on a daily basis from birth, the more likely it is to over > react to things it thinks are microbial invasions. <snort> You haven't seen my house :-). Or my child :-). I do own bleach, but it's for the toilet bowl. I hate Lysol-style products. My mother, since I was young, said the same thing about if you kill the bad bacteria, you're going to take a lot of the good ones with it. But, again, P's allergies are more than likely cause I have a bunch of allergies, and my husband had asthma. -- 'Tis Herself |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Jimmy Tango > wrote:
> Huh? I have never heard this. I see kids eating peanut butter all the > time. Well, children shouldn't have peanut butter before they're 3 cause it's a choking hazard. If you have a child that has any allergies, they shouldn't have it before 5. The amount of anaphylactic peanut allergies is skyrocketing. I'm not screwing with it...carrying an Epi-pen for my 22 month old would scare the s*** out of me. -- 'Tis Herself |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 17:59:54 -0300, "Gabby" >
wrote: > >"A.T. Hagan" > wrote in message ... >> On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 09:29:32 +0100, (Herself) wrote: >> >> >Melba's Jammin' > wrote: >> > >> >> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if >> >> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese >> >> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children >will >> >> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. >> > >> >All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, >> >don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and >> >any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too >> >damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. >> >> I can't say for other kids, but my daughter sure had peanut butter >> before she was three. Peanut allergies are also pretty rare. I think >> the PB&J idea is a good one. If the kids are under five then the >> parents should be fixing their plates for them anyways and they can >> make their own call. > >My kids all had peanut butter by the time they were 1. All 3 had various >food allergies (milk and eggs were the biggies) and today I'd keep them far >away from peanuts, but peanut allergy wasn't such a big deal 20 years ago. > >Today peanut allergies are all too frequent. All the schools in our town >have had to go peanut free, as well as all Scouting and Guiding groups. >There are at least a few kids in each school with the allergy. > >Gabby > Neither my wife, myself, her parents, nor mine have any food allergies that we know of so I've never been concerned about it with my kids barring any evidence they may later show to the contrary. Peanuts are a major crop in my area. If any of us were going to have problems with them we'd know it by now since they're impossible to escape around here. I did have one cousin who had allergies to peanuts among a myriad other things but he outgrew almost all of them years ago. Unless and until your child gives you some reason to believe they are going to have a problem with a particular food I see no reason why one should fear giving it to them. We fed my daughter hot dogs before she was one - sliced lengthways to preclude the choking hazard. Grapes sliced the same way. We have become such a fearful society these days. ......Alan. -- Curiosity killed the cat - lack of it is killing mankind. |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
In article >,
(Herself) wrote: > Melba's Jammin' > wrote: > > > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if > > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese > > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will > > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches. > > All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids, > don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and > any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too > damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe. Yeah, I thought about that after I posted. -- -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.) |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
"A.T. Hagan" > wrote in message ... > Unless and until your child gives you some reason to believe they are > going to have a problem with a particular food I see no reason why one > should fear giving it to them. Some foods are just more allergenic than others, which is why even 30 years ago you were told not to feed egg white to your babies before they were 1; to start them on rice cereal rather than wheat cereal; etc. They knew then that the younger they were when you introduced those items, the more likely they would develop an allergy to them. Today that list has been extended to include peanuts -- mostly I think because the reaction to peanuts is so severe. The smell of peanuts on someone's breath can trigger a reaction in the allergic child. My daughter, at 24, still has a severe allergy to dairy products (milk on her skin makes her break out in hives which is how we discovered the problem), but her reactions, though they have landed her in the ER a couple of times, are mild compared to that of the kid with the peanut allergy. Gabby |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
I've tried to email you again, but there are problems with your server
blocking me. R Melba's Jammin' wrote: > In article >, Dog3 > > wrote: > > >>Melba's Jammin' > deliciously posted in : >> >> >>>If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the >>>bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable >>>containers. >>> >>>There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these >>>days for disposable containers > > >>Now this was good advice. Some of the disposable items need special >>cooking advice too. Maybe taped on the bottom or top. > > > I forgot to mention that if things are packaged in those cheap foil > pans, they can be presented all covered up with heavy foil with a note > attached with instructions to freeze, then thawing and baking > instructions. > > >>I think the Glad brand has to be on a baking sheet with the lid off. >>God Barb, how do you come up with all this good advice? > > > Let's see now. . . . . I've buried my dad (when I was six -- okay, so I > didn't cook then), my mom, a sister and part of her family (3 dead), a > brother, five brothers-in-law (glad to see one SOB go -- I was softly > singing "Happy Trails to You" during his service), two really good > friends, a high school classmate, four neighbors, parents of three > neighbors, and four long-time family friends. I got experience! "-) |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
A.T. Hagan > wrote:
> Unless and until your child gives you some reason to believe they are > going to have a problem with a particular food I see no reason why one > should fear giving it to them. We fed my daughter hot dogs before she > was one - sliced lengthways to preclude the choking hazard. Grapes > sliced the same way. Every doc we've talked to said no peanut butter before 3 because it's a choking hazard. > We have become such a fearful society these days. Well, it might be fearful for you, but when I'm told that my son needs to avoid a laundry list of foods or he might develop a life-threatening allergy, I'm going to do it. " Just exposing the kids to the foods" won't cure anything...it makes it worse. -- 'Tis Herself |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
> Yeah, I thought about that after I posted. But I love the list!!!! :-) It's all good...I was trying to think of something other than pb&j that kids would like...ideas? -- 'Tis Herself |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
Herself wrote:
> Melba's Jammin' > wrote: > > >>Yeah, I thought about that after I posted. > > > But I love the list!!!! :-) > > It's all good...I was trying to think of something other than pb&j that > kids would like...ideas? > Quesadillas. Mini pizzas Chicken drummies Sloppy joes Kathleen |
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Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions
On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 08:39:34 -0600, Kathleen > wrote:
>> It's all good...I was trying to think of something other than pb&j that >> kids would like...ideas? > >Quesadillas. >Mini pizzas I can see these. >Chicken drummies This I can see provided they aren't sauced in any way. >Sloppy joes Too risky. Kids aren't usually eating at a table at a wake. -- Siobhan Perricone "Who would have thought that a bad Austrian artist who's obsessed with the human physical ideal could assemble such a rabid political following?" - www.theonion.com |
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