General Cooking (rec.food.cooking) For general food and cooking discussion. Foods of all kinds, food procurement, cooking methods and techniques, eating, etc.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)   Report Post  
Melba's Jammin'
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
disposable containers

If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.

Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
It's a lovely thought, and practical.

Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.

If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
Call the day before to let them know.

Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in
advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do
insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the
circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it
doesn't look that way.

Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
"inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)
--
-Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.)
  #2 (permalink)   Report Post  
Dimitri
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
> disposable containers
>
> If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
> stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.
>
> Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
> supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
> always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
> It's a lovely thought, and practical.
>
> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
>
> If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
> to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
> Call the day before to let them know.
>
> Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in
> advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do
> insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the
> circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it
> doesn't look that way.
>
> Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
> stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)
> --
> -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab,

too.)

Damn woman you're good.

What great advise.

Dimitri


  #3 (permalink)   Report Post  
limey
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
> disposable containers
>
> If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
> stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.
>
> Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
> supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
> always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
> It's a lovely thought, and practical.
>
> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
>
> If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
> to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
> Call the day before to let them know.
>
> Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in
> advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do
> insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the
> circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it
> doesn't look that way.
>
> Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
> stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)
> --
> -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab,

too.)

A loud, emphatic yes to everything. Great advice.
And your last paragraph - our family has lived through that, too, so I
couldn't agree more.

Dora


  #4 (permalink)   Report Post  
A.T. Hagan
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:25:13 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote:

>If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
>bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
>There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
>disposable containers
>
>If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
>stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.
>
>Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
>supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
>always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
>It's a lovely thought, and practical.
>
>Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
>they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
>tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
>be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
>
>If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
>to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
>Call the day before to let them know.
>
>Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in
>advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do
>insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the
>circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it
>doesn't look that way.
>
>Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
>stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
>laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
>"inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)


A good list, Barb. My grandfather died this past summer and the
amount of food that came down on us was incredible. Of course, we
were expecting it and with the extended family being there and family
friends coming by we eventually managed to put it all away or send it
off with people. We let my grandmother do only what she pleased and
no more, the rest of us handled anything that needed doing.

What became a problem for us was the live plants! My grandfather was
always an outgoing person so we weren't surprised at the number of
people who showed up and the cut flowers. But he received enough live
plants to fill the bed of my pick up truck. Filled my grandmother's
living room. She insisted that everyone in the family take some home
with them and she still had more than she wanted.

Have the admit, the peace lily makes my work area look nicer and I
think of him every time I water it.

......Alan.


--
Curiosity killed the cat -
lack of it is killing mankind.
  #5 (permalink)   Report Post  
Gabby
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
(snipped practical advice)
All very good suggestions. One thoughtful soul sent tea bags, sugar,
disposable plates and cups when Mom died. It meant we had to spend less
time at the sink and despite being very ecology minded I welcomed them.

A cousin brought a 40 ouncer of Canadian Club, mix and plastic glasses. It
also came in handy -- but at the next wake I hope someone delivers
Guinness. ;o)

>
> Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
> stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)


At the funeral home when my husband's mom died, someone approached us to ask
about renting/buying her house.

Gabby




  #6 (permalink)   Report Post  
Jack Schidt®
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
>
> Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
> stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)
> --


Great ideas, Barb, as usual. Lotsa folks (include me) don't really know
what to do other than show up at the wake or say 'my condolences'.

So...ummm....when can ya start hittin' on the widow/er?

Jack Fresh


  #7 (permalink)   Report Post  
Nancy Howells
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

In article > ,
"Dimitri" > wrote:

> "Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
> ...
> > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days
> > for
> > disposable containers
> >
> > If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
> > stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.
> >
> > Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
> > supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
> > always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
> > It's a lovely thought, and practical.
> >
> > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children
> > will
> > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
> >
> > If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
> > to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
> > Call the day before to let them know.
> >
> > Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days
> > in
> > advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do
> > insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the
> > circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it
> > doesn't look that way.
> >
> > Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
> > stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> > laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> > "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)
> > --
> > -Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats
> > tab,

> too.)
>
> Damn woman you're good.
>
> What great advise.
>
> Dimitri
>
>


I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks
that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved
have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through)
feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the
mail, etc.

Even if they're in town, some of the daily tasks might be overwhelming.
Offer to take care of picking up dry cleaning, doing a load of laundry
(especially in the case of a young widow/widower with children).

It's amazing how much one doesn't want to do anything when grieving -
or, conversely, wants to do everything to the point of exhaustion.
Someone to step in is a needed and valued thing.

--
Nancy Howells (don't forget to switch it, and replace the to send mail).
  #8 (permalink)   Report Post  
Frogleg
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:25:13 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote:

>If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
>bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
>There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
>disposable containers
>
>If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
>stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.


Excellent advise.
>
>Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
>supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
>always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
>It's a lovely thought, and practical.


Depends on family's fruit consumption. Fruit, like flowers, has a
limited shelf life. I just *kills* me to receive a Christmas "gift" of
a dozen pears or avocados I will surely be unable to consume before
they spoil. However, food banks are always there.

>If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
>to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
>Call the day before to let them know.


Good idea. The same in the case of lingering illness. When my mother
was dying, friends organized(!) and brought dinner casseroles and
desserts for an extended period. That is, one family meal per day.
  #9 (permalink)   Report Post  
Debbie
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
> disposable containers
>

Good advice Barb. May I add to the last paragraph that if you don't attend
the wake or funeral, don't call the bereaved, don't send a card.. in other
words do absolutely nothing to acknowledge the death of the loved one then
don't come waltzing into the funeral reception in crappy clothes looking for
free eats. Yup... had that happen last summer when my hubby passed on.

As to what to say.. trying to think where I read it.. but it always bothered
me that people would say.. he looks so good.. I know how you feel.. etc
etc... What you can say is that you loved or liked the deceased very much
and you are really going to miss him or that you are sorry and that you are
available if you need to talk or to ask what you can do to help. And keep
criticisms of the wake and funeral to yourself! From my recent experience
the people who complained (wake only 2 hours, service done by friends and
family with minister acting as master of ceremonies and adding only the
necessary words here and there) never offered to help.

Debbie


  #10 (permalink)   Report Post  
Melba's Jammin'
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

In article >, Dog3
> wrote:

> Melba's Jammin' > deliciously posted in
> :
>
> > If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> > bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable
> > containers.
> >
> > There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these
> > days for disposable containers


> Now this was good advice. Some of the disposable items need special
> cooking advice too. Maybe taped on the bottom or top.


I forgot to mention that if things are packaged in those cheap foil
pans, they can be presented all covered up with heavy foil with a note
attached with instructions to freeze, then thawing and baking
instructions.

>I think the Glad brand has to be on a baking sheet with the lid off.
>God Barb, how do you come up with all this good advice?


Let's see now. . . . . I've buried my dad (when I was six -- okay, so I
didn't cook then), my mom, a sister and part of her family (3 dead), a
brother, five brothers-in-law (glad to see one SOB go -- I was softly
singing "Happy Trails to You" during his service), two really good
friends, a high school classmate, four neighbors, parents of three
neighbors, and four long-time family friends. I got experience! "-)
--
-Barb (www.jamlady.eboard.com updated 10-16-03; check the PickleHats tab, too.)


  #11 (permalink)   Report Post  
Cate
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

"Nancy Howells" > wrote in message
...

> I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks
> that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved
> have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through)
> feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the
> mail, etc.


And I will add to your additions that you shouldn't use the following
language with a person consumed by grief:

'Let me know if I can do anything to help you.'

That kind of seemingly helpful statement puts the onus on the grieving
person to not only recognize when they need help, but also to ask for it.

Instead, let them answer a question with only yes or no, maybe something
like this:

'How about I help you out by walking the dog for the next few days?'

If they say yes to whatever you've offered, write it down somewhere
prominent in their house so they'll remember it, and so any other people
offering them help will know someone has already committed to taking care of
that task.

Cate


  #12 (permalink)   Report Post  
jmcquown
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Melba's Jammin' wrote:
> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days
> for disposable containers
>
> Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans
> to stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)


And I know it happens, which is really pitiful. Someone you (not *you*
Barb, the collective you) claim to have loved has died and all you can think
is me, me, me, what am I gonna get? Tacky, tacky, tacky.

Thanks for the excellent suggestions.

Jill


  #13 (permalink)   Report Post  
zxcvbob
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

jmcquown wrote:
> Melba's Jammin' wrote:
>
>>If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
>>bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
>>There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days
>>for disposable containers
>>
>>Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans
>>to stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
>>laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
>>"inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)

>
>
> And I know it happens, which is really pitiful. Someone you (not *you*
> Barb, the collective you) claim to have loved has died and all you can think
> is me, me, me, what am I gonna get? Tacky, tacky, tacky.
>
> Thanks for the excellent suggestions.
>
> Jill
>
>


The collective term for you is "y'all". HTH :-)

Bob

  #14 (permalink)   Report Post  
SportKite1
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

>From: Nancy Howells

>I would add this, too: Do ask if you can take care of the small tasks
>that don't have anything to do with food, particularly if the bereaved
>have to leave town to go to the funeral. Offer to (and carry through)
>feed the dog/cat while they're away, water the plants, take care of the
>mail, etc.
>
>Even if they're in town, some of the daily tasks might be overwhelming.
>Offer to take care of picking up dry cleaning, doing a load of laundry
>(especially in the case of a young widow/widower with children).
>
>It's amazing how much one doesn't want to do anything when grieving -
>or, conversely, wants to do everything to the point of exhaustion.
>Someone to step in is a needed and valued thing.
>
>--
>Nancy Howells


As someone who has had a recent death of a young adult in our family, only days
before my first grandchild was born - as well as several untimely and tragic
deaths over the past couple decades, I'd like to offer some other advice.

Death, while part of the circle of life, isn't timed well, and often happens
near a holiday, birthday or other special family event. When my father and
brother passed away suddenly, it was right before my daughter's first birthday.
I was going to cancel the already planned party, but my family insisted that we
must focus on the new little lives in our family, no matter how much we were
grieving. We did, and the party was held at a children's party center, with all
the cousins, aunts, uncles and our mother attending. For a couple hours we were
able to celebrate the youth in our family and it was good.

When I went to pay the check, the manager came to me with a receipt, completely
unaware of our personal family tragedy. The party had been paid for in full by
my father only a few days before he and my brother passed away. No words can
express how much that meant to us, and how close I came to not realizing my
father's last wonderful gesture of love for his family.

From then on, we understood the importance of celebrating all the birthdays,
the anniversaries, the holidays - even if we stepped in and hosted them for our
loved ones in their time of mourning. The tears were replaced by laughter, if
even for a little while - and there was comfort in that.

So my advice is, no matter how hesitant you might be by intruding in your
friend's or loved one's time of mourning to celebrate some special time in
their life, please do. Immediate reactions may vary, but in time the memory of
that gesture will be of great comfort. I know.

Ellen







  #15 (permalink)   Report Post  
Tara
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

What wonderful advice I've read in this thread. It is helpful to
bring some more pick-up, nibbley kind of food if the household already
has plenty of casseroles and the like. A grieving person may not feel
like facing a big plate of food, but might pick up a bite here and
there of cheese and crackers, fruit, finger sandwiches, crudite. It's
nice to think about breakfast, too -- quiches, breakfast sandwiches or
burritos, breads, jelly, cream cheese, etc. Also remember to bring
any condiments that go along with your dish.

Tara


  #16 (permalink)   Report Post  
levelwave
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Jack Schidt® wrote:

> So...ummm....when can ya start hittin' on the widow/er?



If you have enough confidence the Goon took his money in good fashion
and wont brag around town then I'd say at least 6 months... out in
public anyway... once the cops stop asking questions you can prolly
start having "late night visits" as soon as 3 months... but if
overconfidence and/or alcohol should ever get the best of said Goon -
and he brags to one of his buddies in a bar late one night - it might be
a good idea - to "take care of him" too...

~john fisher


--
What was it like to see - the face of your own stability - suddenly look
away...

  #19 (permalink)   Report Post  
Cindy Fuller
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

In article >,
Melba's Jammin' > wrote:

> If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
> bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable containers.
> There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these days for
> disposable containers
>
> If you DO bring it on a plate, bowl, or other container you want back,
> stick a piee of tape on it bearing your name.
>
> Instead of sending flowers, send (or bring) a fruit basket. Large
> supermarkets can often prepare them if that's not your cup of tea. I
> always thought that a fruit basket sounded dippy until I received one.
> It's a lovely thought, and practical.
>
> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
>
> If they're inundated with everything, make a note on your own calendar
> to deliver dinner in three weeks, when the dust has begun to settle.
> Call the day before to let them know.
>
> Better still, invite them to your home for a meal. Ask a couple days in
> advance. Depending on how well you know them, push a little and do
> insist that it's no bother and you'd like to see them. Talk about the
> circumstance if it seems like they wish to; don't dwell on it if it
> doesn't look that way.
>
> Don't ask for first dibs on his power tools. Don't ask if she plans to
> stay in their home. Don't ask for a piece of her jewelry. (Don't
> laugh. You wouldn't believe some of the outrageous things people will
> "inquire about" -- wanna be first in line, y'know.)


Excellent suggestions. My standard gift for bereaved or ill folks is
some homemade bread. You don't need to buy a non-returnable container
for it. It saves them from having to put all those cold cuts and cheese
on Wonder bread (bleah!). It's something they can pop in the freezer if
they're inundated with other food. And it's always appreciated.

Cindy

--
C.J. Fuller

Return address to the present tense to email me
  #20 (permalink)   Report Post  
Julia Altshuler
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Puester wrote:
>>Nobody here would be crass enough to ask for those things. (We'd be going
>>through the CDROM's! )
>>


> Nope, the cookbooks, of course!
>


The quilter's fabric stash!

--Lia



  #21 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

SportKite1 > wrote:

> So my advice is, no matter how hesitant you might be by intruding in your
> friend's or loved one's time of mourning to celebrate some special time in
> their life, please do. Immediate reactions may vary, but in time the memory of
> that gesture will be of great comfort. I know.


Oooo...I'm all choked up. Thanks for this...my brother passed away 2
days before Christmas, and my grandfather a few years later a week
before.

And it sounds like your dad left quite a nice legacy...showing caring,
no matter what.
--
'Tis Herself
  #22 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Melba's Jammin' > wrote:

> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.


All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids,
don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and
any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too
damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.
--
'Tis Herself
  #23 (permalink)   Report Post  
jmcquown
 
Posts: n/a
Default Peanuts: (WAS: Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions)

Herself wrote:
> Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>
>> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children
>> will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.

>
> All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids,
> don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3,
> and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5.
> It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.


What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When I was a
kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts.

Jill


  #24 (permalink)   Report Post  
Siobhan Perricone
 
Posts: n/a
Default Peanuts: (WAS: Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions)

On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 05:11:59 -0500, "jmcquown" >
wrote:

>Herself wrote:
>> Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>>
>>> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children
>>> will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.

>>
>> All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids,
>> don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3,
>> and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5.
>> It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.

>
>What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When I was a
>kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts.


There's a lot of conjecture about why this increase in nut allergies but
the bottom line is, we still don't really understand allergies and how they
work and what causes them, so we can't really get at why there's been such
an increase. Certainly some of it is simply recognized where it wasn't
before.

In the past the kids probably would have just died without anyone
recognizing the allergic reaction, or they simply "felt bad" when they ate
nuts to they avoided them and were content with saying "I don't like nuts"
or "I don't eat things with nuts in them". I have a coworker who is in her
late 40s early 50s who is very allergic to nuts of all sorts, and her
mother is, too. And they didn't have any special way of knowing other than
they just got sick if they ate nuts, so they avoided them.

It was also easier to avoid nuts, as they didn't make up a large percentage
of the diet and they weren't so ubiquitous in the manufacturing equipment.
People bought less mass produced foods and more whole foods for a long
time, and so there was a less complicated link between a person and their
food. Now we have larger food production facilities, and machines are put
to a broader spectrum of uses than they used to be, so the chance of there
being nut residue in things that don't even have nuts in them is possible.

And yet another point... there are some studies that place some blame on
our fanatic attachment to cleanliness and sanitation as a possible culprit
in allergy development. The immune system doesn't get as exposed to the
contaminants that were part of our every day lives until, really, the 1950s
or so. There's some conjecture that the fewer challenges the immune system
has to face on a daily basis from birth, the more likely it is to over
react to things it thinks are microbial invasions.

--
Siobhan Perricone
"Who would have thought that a bad Austrian artist who's obsessed with the human physical ideal could assemble such a rabid political following?"
- www.theonion.com
  #26 (permalink)   Report Post  
jmcquown
 
Posts: n/a
Default Peanuts: (WAS: Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions)

Siobhan Perricone wrote:
> On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 05:11:59 -0500, "jmcquown"
> > wrote:
>
>> Herself wrote:
>>> Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>>>
>>>> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children
>>>> will be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
>>>
>>> All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small
>>> kids, don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it
>>> before 3,
>>> and any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5.
>>> It's too damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.

>>
>> What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When
>> I was a kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts.

>
> There's a lot of conjecture about why this increase in nut allergies
> but the bottom line is, we still don't really understand allergies
> and how they work and what causes them, so we can't really get at why
> there's been such an increase.

(snip)
> And yet another point... there are some studies that place some blame
> on our fanatic attachment to cleanliness and sanitation as a possible
> culprit in allergy development. The immune system doesn't get as
> exposed to the contaminants that were part of our every day lives
> until, really, the 1950s or so. There's some conjecture that the
> fewer challenges the immune system has to face on a daily basis from
> birth, the more likely it is to over react to things it thinks are
> microbial invasions.


That's my thinking. I think about how my grandparents and parents grew up.
Things weren't pristine clean, to the point where we no longer have a
resistance to anything. My Dad's grandmother used to make a huge kettle of
apple butter in the same big iron tub he and his brothers used to wash out
of on Sundays.

The milkman left butter, eggs & milk sitting on the back stoop,
unrefrigerated, until my Grandmother bothered to bring them inside. Inside,
the block of ice in the ice-box may have been nearly gone until the ice-man
cometh <G>

Vegetables were grown out back and picked fresh from the yard and they
weren't refrigerated. And not necessarily cooked the same day, either.
Placed in a cellar, but no guarantee that would be cold.

I tend to think we've sanitized ourselves into being more attractive to
germs and viruses.

Jill


  #27 (permalink)   Report Post  
Jimmy Tango
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"Herself" > wrote in message
...
> Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>
> > Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> > they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> > tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children will
> > be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.

>
> All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids,
> don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and
> any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too
> damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.
>


Huh? I have never heard this. I see kids eating peanut butter all the
time.


  #29 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Peanuts:

jmcquown > wrote:

> What is it with kids and peanut allergies these days, anyway? When I was a
> kid you never heard about anyone having allergies to peanuts.


Yeah, I know. I've heard a lot of "well, *I* had peanut butter when I
was 3, and I'm fine". That's great for you, but my son has never had
peanut butter, and ain't no way he's getting it before he's five.

Theories abound. It goes from environmental factors (there's more crap
in the air---but there was worse crap in the air during the Industrial
Rev., perhaps they didn't have peanuts in the main countries then), to
genetics (if you are allergic to *anything*, your child has a 40% (?)
chance of being food allergic) to looking cross-eyed at a preg woman.

They've really spiked the last ten years...
--
'Tis Herself
  #30 (permalink)   Report Post  
Gabby
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"A.T. Hagan" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 09:29:32 +0100, (Herself) wrote:
>
> >Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
> >
> >> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
> >> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
> >> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children

will
> >> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.

> >
> >All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids,
> >don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and
> >any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too
> >damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.

>
> I can't say for other kids, but my daughter sure had peanut butter
> before she was three. Peanut allergies are also pretty rare. I think
> the PB&J idea is a good one. If the kids are under five then the
> parents should be fixing their plates for them anyways and they can
> make their own call.


My kids all had peanut butter by the time they were 1. All 3 had various
food allergies (milk and eggs were the biggies) and today I'd keep them far
away from peanuts, but peanut allergy wasn't such a big deal 20 years ago.

Today peanut allergies are all too frequent. All the schools in our town
have had to go peanut free, as well as all Scouting and Guiding groups.
There are at least a few kids in each school with the allergy.

Gabby




  #31 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Peanuts:

Siobhan Perricone > wrote:

> And yet another point... there are some studies that place some blame on
> our fanatic attachment to cleanliness and sanitation as a possible culprit
> in allergy development. The immune system doesn't get as exposed to the
> contaminants that were part of our every day lives until, really, the 1950s
> or so. There's some conjecture that the fewer challenges the immune system
> has to face on a daily basis from birth, the more likely it is to over
> react to things it thinks are microbial invasions.


<snort> You haven't seen my house :-). Or my child :-). I do own
bleach, but it's for the toilet bowl. I hate Lysol-style products. My
mother, since I was young, said the same thing about if you kill the bad
bacteria, you're going to take a lot of the good ones with it.

But, again, P's allergies are more than likely cause I have a bunch of
allergies, and my husband had asthma.
--
'Tis Herself
  #32 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Jimmy Tango > wrote:

> Huh? I have never heard this. I see kids eating peanut butter all the
> time.


Well, children shouldn't have peanut butter before they're 3 cause it's
a choking hazard. If you have a child that has any allergies, they
shouldn't have it before 5.

The amount of anaphylactic peanut allergies is skyrocketing. I'm not
screwing with it...carrying an Epi-pen for my 22 month old would scare
the s*** out of me.
--
'Tis Herself
  #33 (permalink)   Report Post  
A.T. Hagan
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 17:59:54 -0300, "Gabby" >
wrote:

>
>"A.T. Hagan" > wrote in message
...
>> On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 09:29:32 +0100, (Herself) wrote:
>>
>> >Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>> >
>> >> Call the family of the bereaved first and check the territory -- if
>> >> they're inundated with sugar, ask if you can bring protein. (Cheese
>> >> tray and fresh fruit. Hand food.) If you know that small children

>will
>> >> be around, include a couple PB sandwiches.
>> >
>> >All the advice is great, but I gotta say that if there are small kids,
>> >don't bring pb&j. Most kids these days shouldn't have it before 3, and
>> >any with any type of food allergy shouldn't have it before 5. It's too
>> >damn risky now with peanut allergies being so severe.

>>
>> I can't say for other kids, but my daughter sure had peanut butter
>> before she was three. Peanut allergies are also pretty rare. I think
>> the PB&J idea is a good one. If the kids are under five then the
>> parents should be fixing their plates for them anyways and they can
>> make their own call.

>
>My kids all had peanut butter by the time they were 1. All 3 had various
>food allergies (milk and eggs were the biggies) and today I'd keep them far
>away from peanuts, but peanut allergy wasn't such a big deal 20 years ago.
>
>Today peanut allergies are all too frequent. All the schools in our town
>have had to go peanut free, as well as all Scouting and Guiding groups.
>There are at least a few kids in each school with the allergy.
>
>Gabby
>


Neither my wife, myself, her parents, nor mine have any food allergies
that we know of so I've never been concerned about it with my kids
barring any evidence they may later show to the contrary.

Peanuts are a major crop in my area. If any of us were going to have
problems with them we'd know it by now since they're impossible to
escape around here.

I did have one cousin who had allergies to peanuts among a myriad
other things but he outgrew almost all of them years ago.

Unless and until your child gives you some reason to believe they are
going to have a problem with a particular food I see no reason why one
should fear giving it to them. We fed my daughter hot dogs before she
was one - sliced lengthways to preclude the choking hazard. Grapes
sliced the same way.

We have become such a fearful society these days.

......Alan.


--
Curiosity killed the cat -
lack of it is killing mankind.
  #35 (permalink)   Report Post  
Gabby
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions


"A.T. Hagan" > wrote in message
...
> Unless and until your child gives you some reason to believe they are
> going to have a problem with a particular food I see no reason why one
> should fear giving it to them.


Some foods are just more allergenic than others, which is why even 30 years
ago you were told not to feed egg white to your babies before they were 1;
to start them on rice cereal rather than wheat cereal; etc. They knew then
that the younger they were when you introduced those items, the more likely
they would develop an allergy to them. Today that list has been extended to
include peanuts -- mostly I think because the reaction to peanuts is so
severe. The smell of peanuts on someone's breath can trigger a reaction in
the allergic child.
My daughter, at 24, still has a severe allergy to dairy products (milk on
her skin makes her break out in hives which is how we discovered the
problem), but her reactions, though they have landed her in the ER a couple
of times, are mild compared to that of the kid with the peanut allergy.

Gabby





  #36 (permalink)   Report Post  
Richard Periut
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

I've tried to email you again, but there are problems with your server
blocking me.

R

Melba's Jammin' wrote:
> In article >, Dog3
> > wrote:
>
>
>>Melba's Jammin' > deliciously posted in
:
>>
>>
>>>If it is your custom and habit to bring vittles to the home of the
>>>bereaved, do your level best to bring it in non-returnable
>>>containers.
>>>
>>>There are a number of inexpensive options in supermarkets these
>>>days for disposable containers

>
>
>>Now this was good advice. Some of the disposable items need special
>>cooking advice too. Maybe taped on the bottom or top.

>
>
> I forgot to mention that if things are packaged in those cheap foil
> pans, they can be presented all covered up with heavy foil with a note
> attached with instructions to freeze, then thawing and baking
> instructions.
>
>
>>I think the Glad brand has to be on a baking sheet with the lid off.
>>God Barb, how do you come up with all this good advice?

>
>
> Let's see now. . . . . I've buried my dad (when I was six -- okay, so I
> didn't cook then), my mom, a sister and part of her family (3 dead), a
> brother, five brothers-in-law (glad to see one SOB go -- I was softly
> singing "Happy Trails to You" during his service), two really good
> friends, a high school classmate, four neighbors, parents of three
> neighbors, and four long-time family friends. I got experience! "-)


  #37 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

A.T. Hagan > wrote:

> Unless and until your child gives you some reason to believe they are
> going to have a problem with a particular food I see no reason why one
> should fear giving it to them. We fed my daughter hot dogs before she
> was one - sliced lengthways to preclude the choking hazard. Grapes
> sliced the same way.


Every doc we've talked to said no peanut butter before 3 because it's a
choking hazard.

> We have become such a fearful society these days.


Well, it might be fearful for you, but when I'm told that my son needs
to avoid a laundry list of foods or he might develop a life-threatening
allergy, I'm going to do it. " Just exposing the kids to the foods"
won't cure anything...it makes it worse.
--
'Tis Herself
  #38 (permalink)   Report Post  
Herself
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Melba's Jammin' > wrote:

> Yeah, I thought about that after I posted.


But I love the list!!!! :-)

It's all good...I was trying to think of something other than pb&j that
kids would like...ideas?

--
'Tis Herself
  #39 (permalink)   Report Post  
Kathleen
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

Herself wrote:
> Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>
>
>>Yeah, I thought about that after I posted.

>
>
> But I love the list!!!! :-)
>
> It's all good...I was trying to think of something other than pb&j that
> kids would like...ideas?
>


Quesadillas.
Mini pizzas
Chicken drummies
Sloppy joes

Kathleen

  #40 (permalink)   Report Post  
Siobhan Perricone
 
Posts: n/a
Default Funeral Food - Part Duh - some suggestions

On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 08:39:34 -0600, Kathleen > wrote:

>> It's all good...I was trying to think of something other than pb&j that
>> kids would like...ideas?

>
>Quesadillas.
>Mini pizzas


I can see these.

>Chicken drummies


This I can see provided they aren't sauced in any way.

>Sloppy joes


Too risky. Kids aren't usually eating at a table at a wake.

--
Siobhan Perricone
"Who would have thought that a bad Austrian artist who's obsessed with the human physical ideal could assemble such a rabid political following?"
- www.theonion.com
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Party Menu Suggestions part 2 cjra General Cooking 3 15-07-2009 06:44 PM
Funeral Food - again Melba's Jammin' General Cooking 17 19-05-2005 10:05 PM
Funeral Food Melba's Jammin' General Cooking 33 06-04-2005 05:33 AM
Funeral Food -- Again! Melba's Jammin' General Cooking 9 09-01-2004 03:34 PM
More funeral food Melba's Jammin' General Cooking 5 26-11-2003 04:20 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:02 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 FoodBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about Food and drink"