Halloween Safety Tips

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
see if it is really dead. It isn't.

2. Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement or attic, even if the power is out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that
they should not know, shoot them immediately. Shooting them will save
you much grief in the long run; however, it will take several rounds
to kill them, so be prepared. This tip also applies to anyone who
speaks with someone else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This rule
also applies to any other house of the dead.

8. If you are searching for something that caused a loud noise and
find out that it was just the cat, get the hell out. Expeditiously.

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short
circuits. Again, get the hell out.

10. Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like
it, it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later.

11. If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice - more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that
despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely
shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed he Amityville, Elm Street, Haddonfield, Transylvania, Nilbog
(you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where
chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, and any small town in Maine,
Maryland, and Massachusetts.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go
to the nearby deserted-looking house to use the telephone. If you
think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you
had most of a tank, shoot yourself in the head. You are going to die
anyway and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools like chainsaws, staple guns,
hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane
torches, soldering irons, and ice picks. and last but not least

18) ALWAYS shoot Zombies in the head! Trust me on this.

"maxine in ri" > wrote in message
ps.com...
> Halloween Safety Tips
>
> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
> see if it is really dead. It isn't.
>

I like this.

Oh pshaw, on Wed 31 Oct 2007 04:26:49p, cybercat meant to say...

>
> "maxine in ri" > wrote in message
> ps.com...
>> Halloween Safety Tips
>>
>> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
>> see if it is really dead. It isn't.
>>
>
> I like this.
>
>

I sent it to everyone in my work group. I got a droll reply from my VP:

"Thank you personally, and also as an SBH employee. We certainly don't
want to lose any of us."


--
Wayne Boatwright
__________________________________________________

I have a rock garden, but three of them died last week.

On Thu, 01 Nov 2007 04:08:52 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>Oh pshaw, on Wed 31 Oct 2007 04:26:49p, cybercat meant to say...
>
>>
>> "maxine in ri" > wrote in message
>> ps.com...
>>> Halloween Safety Tips
>>>
>>> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
>>> see if it is really dead. It isn't.
>>>
>>
>> I like this.
>>
>
>I sent it to everyone in my work group. I got a droll reply from my VP:
>
>"Thank you personally, and also as an SBH employee. We certainly don't
>want to lose any of us."

Yet another one I either missed or my server hasn't picked up yet.

If one of you have the complet OP, please email it to me!



--
See return address to reply by email
remove the smiley face first

On Nov 1, 8:20 am, "jmcquown" > wrote:
> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> > Oh pshaw, on Wed 31 Oct 2007 04:26:49p, cybercat meant to say...
>
> >> "maxine in ri" > wrote in message
> oups.com...
> >>> Halloween Safety Tips
>
> >>> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
> >>> see if it is really dead. It isn't.
>
> >> I like this.
>
> I never understood those movies where if you can escape you go upstairs, in
> the dark, after all your friends have been killed. Don't do that! Don't
> poke the monster, just run! Run like the wind! LOL
>
> I saw the original 'Night of the Living Dead' the other night on PBS (of all
> places). I'd forgotten about the ending; poor sod. Campy film but rather
> well done for it's time and budget

I understood how in Night of the Living Dead, it took them a ways into
the movie before they figured out to go for the head. What I don't
understand is how in subsequent movies, it also takes them a while to
figure it out. I mean, where do they find whole towns where no one
has seen NotLD?

Some good zombie pix on this site:
http://www.myspace.com/creaturefotography
>
> Jill

--Bryan

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> Oh pshaw, on Wed 31 Oct 2007 04:26:49p, cybercat meant to say...
>
>>
>> "maxine in ri" > wrote in message
>> ps.com...
>>> Halloween Safety Tips
>>>
>>> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
>>> see if it is really dead. It isn't.
>>>
>> I like this.
>>
I never understood those movies where if you can escape you go upstairs, in
the dark, after all your friends have been killed. Don't do that! Don't
poke the monster, just run! Run like the wind! LOL

I saw the original 'Night of the Living Dead' the other night on PBS (of all
places). I'd forgotten about the ending; poor sod. Campy film but rather
well done for it's time and budget

Jill

On Thu, 1 Nov 2007 07:20:43 -0600, "jmcquown" >
wrote:

>Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> Oh pshaw, on Wed 31 Oct 2007 04:26:49p, cybercat meant to say...
>>
>>>
>>> "maxine in ri" > wrote in message
>>> ps.com...
>>>> Halloween Safety Tips
>>>>
>>>> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
>>>> see if it is really dead. It isn't.
>>>>
>>> I like this.
>>>
>I never understood those movies where if you can escape you go upstairs, in
>the dark, after all your friends have been killed. Don't do that! Don't
>poke the monster, just run! Run like the wind! LOL
>
>I saw the original 'Night of the Living Dead' the other night on PBS (of all
>places). I'd forgotten about the ending; poor sod. Campy film but rather
>well done for it's time and budget
>
>Jill
>

i think 'night of the living dead' was a ground-breaker because all
the good people ended up dead, not just the sluts.

i dug the sheriff.

your pal,
george