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Old 17-09-2007, 08:04 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....

I laughed out when I read this one and thought of those uncouth Texans :-))


Texans in Heaven

Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some
Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on the
pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbeque sauce is all over their robes,
their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and
cowboy hats instead of their halos.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds
and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with
just one wing."

The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my
children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the
Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having
down there."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back.
Now what was the question?"

The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said , "I'm
sorry Lord, I can't talk right now.

Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning."

Bigbazza (Barry) Oz



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Old 17-09-2007, 09:14 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Posts: 10
Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....



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  #3 (permalink)   Report Post  
Old 17-09-2007, 12:05 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Posts: 11,454
Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....


"Bigbazza" wrote:
Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning."

Bigbazza (Barry) Oz



Cute! I notice the Devil sounds like a Texan too!


  #4 (permalink)   Report Post  
Old 17-09-2007, 01:41 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....


"cybercat" wrote in message
...

"Bigbazza" wrote:
Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning."

Bigbazza (Barry) Oz



Cute! I notice the Devil sounds like a Texan too!



He certainly sounds like that as well... G...

Bigbazza (Barry) Oz

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Old 17-09-2007, 03:10 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 31
Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....

DEAR MR. BIGBAZZU,

I DO STAY IN TEXAS NOW BUT, WAS, BORN, AND REARED, IN KENTUCKY. MOST OF THE
SO CALLED UNCOOTH HERE ARE OUTSIDER TYPES LIKE YOU. THE COWBOY HATS YOU
MOSTLY SEE HERE ARE MORE LIKEN TO CROOKED BALL CAPS COVERING UP ONE EAR AND
ON OCCASION THEY WILL COVER BOTH EARS. IM TOLD THESE PEOPLE ARE COME FROM
THE LIKES OF NEW YORK CITY AND ELSEWEAR. TEXAS DON'T HAVE NO MORE OIL WELLS
SO MR. BUSH IS OVER TRYING GATHER US UP SOME MORE. IM A HOPING HE DONT'
BRING A BUNCH OF THEM UGLY SPITTIN HUMPITY BACK CRITTERS ALONG WITH EM. IF
THEY COME, WE WILL GIVE EM A TRY ON THE SMOKING PIT.

OT,, IS NOW OVER AND OUT

FATTY


"Bigbazza" wrote in message
...
I laughed out when I read this one and thought of those uncouth Texans
:-))


Texans in Heaven

Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some
Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on the
pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbeque sauce is all over their robes,
their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps
and
cowboy hats instead of their halos.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon
seeds
and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around
with
just one wing."

The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my
children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the
Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having
down there."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back.
Now what was the question?"

The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said ,
"I'm
sorry Lord, I can't talk right now.

Them damn Texans done put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning."

Bigbazza (Barry) Oz






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Old 18-09-2007, 03:30 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Posts: 10,876
Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....

On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 14:10:46 GMT, "faTjack"
wrote:

DEAR MR. BIGBAZZU,

I DO STAY IN TEXAS NOW BUT, WAS, BORN, AND REARED, IN KENTUCKY. MOST OF THE
SO CALLED UNCOOTH HERE ARE OUTSIDER TYPES LIKE YOU. THE COWBOY HATS YOU
MOSTLY SEE HERE ARE MORE LIKEN TO CROOKED BALL CAPS COVERING UP ONE EAR AND
ON OCCASION THEY WILL COVER BOTH EARS. IM TOLD THESE PEOPLE ARE COME FROM
THE LIKES OF NEW YORK CITY AND ELSEWEAR. TEXAS DON'T HAVE NO MORE OIL WELLS
SO MR. BUSH IS OVER TRYING GATHER US UP SOME MORE. IM A HOPING HE DONT'
BRING A BUNCH OF THEM UGLY SPITTIN HUMPITY BACK CRITTERS ALONG WITH EM. IF
THEY COME, WE WILL GIVE EM A TRY ON THE SMOKING PIT.

OT,, IS NOW OVER AND OUT

FATTY


This all caps thing is getting boring. Do you need magnification?
Would you like someone to help you set larger fonts in your news
reader???? Email me privately, if you wish.
--

History is a vast early warning system
Norman Cousins
  #7 (permalink)   Report Post  
Old 18-09-2007, 09:53 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
external usenet poster
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 31
Default OT..Texans BBQing in Heaven.....

IS this better&

thank you for your're kind offer. yes i typewrite with one hand and a
couple of different fangers and can hardly see this small typewritting. i
will try to practice holding down the large type key with my big toe iffin i
can get my leg to bent up that far. please excuse me ifin i have made some
typografical kind of errows,


FATTY
sf wrote in message ...
On Mon, 17 Sep 2007 14:10:46 GMT, "faTjack"
wrote:

DEAR MR. BIGBAZZU,

I DO STAY IN TEXAS NOW BUT, WAS, BORN, AND REARED, IN KENTUCKY. MOST OF
THE
SO CALLED UNCOOTH HERE ARE OUTSIDER TYPES LIKE YOU. THE COWBOY HATS YOU
MOSTLY SEE HERE ARE MORE LIKEN TO CROOKED BALL CAPS COVERING UP ONE EAR
AND
ON OCCASION THEY WILL COVER BOTH EARS. IM TOLD THESE PEOPLE ARE COME
FROM
THE LIKES OF NEW YORK CITY AND ELSEWEAR. TEXAS DON'T HAVE NO MORE OIL
WELLS
SO MR. BUSH IS OVER TRYING GATHER US UP SOME MORE. IM A HOPING HE DONT'
BRING A BUNCH OF THEM UGLY SPITTIN HUMPITY BACK CRITTERS ALONG WITH EM.
IF
THEY COME, WE WILL GIVE EM A TRY ON THE SMOKING PIT.

OT,, IS NOW OVER AND OUT

FATTY


This all caps thing is getting boring. Do you need magnification?
Would you like someone to help you set larger fonts in your news
reader???? Email me privately, if you wish.
--

History is a vast early warning system
Norman Cousins





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