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OT Holidaze
Holidaze
I am generally [getting out the Wand O' Generalities and waving it wildly about] able to read my prospective audience accurately before subjecting them to my brand of humor. There have been times, though, where I completely misjudge a portion of the audience to ruinous results. Last night was such a disaster. There is an Indian family that we are (or were) very close to. They have two children, boys that get along with my three famously -- if for no other reason than their two boys will do whatever my three girls ask/demand. The parents truly enjoy SWMBO's and my company as well, which has allowed us to get to that level of comfort where we joke incessantly about any and all topics. Al and I are very comfortable talking and jockeying without ever letting an edge or personality quirk get in the way. SWMBO and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name¹> have MANY common hobbies and interests, share "girl" talk (they ALWAYS go quiet whenever Al and I walk in on them), and both are in charge of their individual households. Al came from money and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> came from power when they lived in India. Their marriage was, uhm, Old World but they managed to overcome that anyway. They've lived in the US for fifteen years, and as such have quickly adopted MANY customs and practices of our backwater society. Their parents, Old World Adherents, have NEVER approved of their living here, any of Al's measly engineering jobs, her working, etc. The few times they've come to visit, Al and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> have spent large amounts of time with us. This Holiday they weren't able to get in some non-parent private time due to all their usual sources being unavailable. We /were/ able to schedule some time for them to come over for a meal and movie, though. Al, at first, tried to beg off but I'm comfortable ribbing him into giving in. He finally admitted that his parents were visiting and that they weren't able to leave them like they normally did. I shrugged and said, "More the merrier! Invite'em." He balked at first but after a few minutes bantering he relented (probably to shut me up.) He went home and told <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> about my invite and she got on the phone to SWMBO. They talked for MANY minutes but the gist was that we could handle her IL's. Al's family arrived as SWMBO and I finished up in the kitchen. (WHAT is it with people that they show up ON TIME?! Show up Late!! A few minutes late! But don't show up early or on time!) I went to the door, drying my hands in a towel, and asked them all in. Al's father (AKA Pruneface) was already scowling, hands clasped firmly behind his back. Al's mom (AKA Poison Ivy) sauntered in behind. Al made introductions and I knew we were in for a very strained evening. The kids immediately took off towards our playroom and that allowed us to sit around a jaw for a bit. Al was clearly experiencing a migraine from this event. <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> was also experiencing a level of stress that even two boys couldn't match. I tested the waters with some minor [VERY UNOFFENSIVE, might I add] jokes. SWMBO, with a very subtle move, grabbed my hand. I sighed and pulled my horns in. We sat there, like six junior high kids playing a Truth or Dare game. No one wanted to say anything. Finally SWMBO asked if anyone wanted anything to drink. Al and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> both asked for glasses of wine. That actually seemed to soften the parents. They also asked for whatever was convenient. When I listed our entire stock (from Coke to my favorite SMS), Pruneface cracked a smile. He chose the least offensive, Coke. Conversations quickly opened up and I was bemused by the parent's very British accents. I have worked with Indians for many years and never run in to any with British accents. <shrug> I'm sheltered. Dinner was simple; the kids all ate at the kitchenette (watching Kim Possible) and the adults all ate in the dining room (away from the TV so I'd eat and talk.) Poison Ivy spent a majority of the meal and evening talking at SWMBO, never to. She was cordial and polite. And took every opportunity to zing <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name>: our house was bigger, our china was nicer, our kids were better behaved. It just didn't stop. We eventually finished dinner with Al and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> simmering quite nicely. Spawn and their youngest (a stunning specimen of the definition of what Handsome really is) came toddling out of the kitchenette, declaring they were finished eating. Spawn told everyone that she and Joseph were going to go watch her movie - and then she planted a big smooch on his cheek and gave him a takedown hug. Joseph took it like a trooper. I chose that moment to bring out my favorite joke and ribbed Al that Spawn was going to marry that boy if we didn't watch them. Al's ALWAYS been able to make a funny comeback but Poison Ivy immediately bristled and said something clipped, in a language I don't know. Al dropped his eyes to the table, his cheeks crimsoned from the blast he'd just received. <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> was also looking down at the tablecloth. Pruneface stood up, and put his napkin on the table and turned to leave. Poison Ivy was also walking her requisite one-step-right-two-steps-back. Al and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> stood up and called to their boys. All four looked like they'd just swallowed lemon wedges. Al never once lifted his eyes on the way to the door. Al and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> thanked us for the dinner and bid us goodnight. I haven't seen him today but I'm positive that I just torpedoed the friendship. <sigh> ¹ Her name is 27 letter long and I have tried over the years to say it. I am mentally deficient in my language abilities, though. Her nickname is still fifteen letters long and no easier to say for me. |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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OT Holidaze
The Ranger wrote:
> Holidaze > > I chose that moment > to bring out my favorite joke and ribbed Al that Spawn was going > to marry that boy if we didn't watch them. Al's ALWAYS been able > to make a funny comeback but Poison Ivy immediately bristled and > said something clipped, in a language I don't know. Al dropped his > eyes to the table, his cheeks crimsoned from the blast he'd just > received. <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> was also looking > down at the tablecloth. > > Pruneface stood up, and put his napkin on the table and > turned to leave. Poison Ivy was also walking her requisite > one-step-right-two-steps-back. Al and <Insert > 27-random-letters-for-a-name> stood up and called to their boys. > All four looked like they'd just swallowed lemon wedges. OUCH! That's one joke that didn't translate well. I would bet that Pruneface and Poison Ivy had been haranguing the couple before going to your house that they should go back to India before their family was ruined by assimilating to American culture (or lack thereof.) Your joke about "intermarriage" put the icing on the nan, so to speak. You have my sympathy. gloria p |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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OT Holidaze
Puester wrote:
> The Ranger wrote: >> Holidaze > >> >> I chose that moment >> to bring out my favorite joke and ribbed Al that Spawn was going >> to marry that boy if we didn't watch them. Al's ALWAYS been able >> to make a funny comeback but Poison Ivy immediately bristled and >> said something clipped, in a language I don't know. Al dropped his >> eyes to the table, his cheeks crimsoned from the blast he'd just >> received. <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> was also looking >> down at the tablecloth. >> >> Pruneface stood up, and put his napkin on the table and >> turned to leave. Poison Ivy was also walking her requisite >> one-step-right-two-steps-back. Al and <Insert >> 27-random-letters-for-a-name> stood up and called to their boys. >> All four looked like they'd just swallowed lemon wedges. > > > > OUCH! That's one joke that didn't translate well. > > I would bet that Pruneface and Poison Ivy had been haranguing the > couple before going to your house that they should go back to India > before their family was ruined by assimilating to American culture > (or lack thereof.) Your joke about "intermarriage" put the icing on > the nan, so to speak. > > You have my sympathy. > > gloria p Well, their parents are just going to have to get over it. It's entirely possible one of their grandchildren *will* intermarry. Horrors! I hope it didn't kill the friendship. They obviously know their parents are disapproving of every little thing "American". Sounds to me like Al and <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> were simply embarrassed at the moment. I hope they get over it, especially since the kids also get along so well. Jill |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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OT Holidaze
"jmcquown" > wrote > Well, their parents are just going to have to get over it. It's entirely > possible one of their grandchildren *will* intermarry. Horrors! I hope > it > didn't kill the friendship. They obviously know their parents are > disapproving of every little thing "American". Except for money. nancy |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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OT Holidaze
Nancy Young wrote:
> "jmcquown" > wrote > >> Well, their parents are just going to have to get over it. It's >> entirely possible one of their grandchildren *will* intermarry. >> Horrors! I hope it >> didn't kill the friendship. They obviously know their parents are >> disapproving of every little thing "American". > > Except for money. > > nancy Yeah, I noticed that too. "our house was bigger, our china was nicer". Hypocrites! Jill |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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OT Holidaze
On Thu, 31 May 2007 18:57:40 -0700, "The Ranger"
> wrote: <snip> > Spawn and their youngest (a stunning specimen of the >definition of what Handsome really is) came toddling out of the >kitchenette, declaring they were finished eating. Spawn told >everyone that she and Joseph were going to go watch her movie - >and then she planted a big smooch on his cheek and gave him a >takedown hug. Joseph took it like a trooper. I chose that moment >to bring out my favorite joke and ribbed Al that Spawn was going >to marry that boy if we didn't watch them. Al's ALWAYS been able >to make a funny comeback but Poison Ivy immediately bristled and >said something clipped, in a language I don't know. Al dropped his >eyes to the table, his cheeks crimsoned from the blast he'd just >received. <Insert 27-random-letters-for-a-name> was also looking >down at the tablecloth. > > Pruneface stood up, and put his napkin on the table and >turned to leave. Poison Ivy was also walking her requisite >one-step-right-two-steps-back. Al and <Insert >27-random-letters-for-a-name> stood up and called to their boys. >All four looked like they'd just swallowed lemon wedges. Al never >once lifted his eyes on the way to the door. Al and <Insert >27-random-letters-for-a-name> thanked us for the dinner and bid us >goodnight. I haven't seen him today but I'm positive that I just >torpedoed the friendship. <sigh> In our culture, you did nothing wrong other than unintentionally embarassing your friend in front of his parents. But there were a couple of faux pas for their culture, at least that I can see. First was the kiss. You might not be aware of it, but Richard Gere got in some legal trouble in India for a spontaneous smooch. Of course the circumstances are different but it's possible the in-laws were uncomfortable, maybe even the parents are but are reluctant to tell you. The comment about marriage perhaps was offensive not only for any intermarriage implications, but that they have a very serious way of choosing spouses and perhaps they are dismayed by our method. If you want to patch things up and perhaps make life easier for your friend, then bring a gift and apologize profusely in person to Al and the in-laws, if only for cultural insensitivity. Be careful with humor; it doesn't often translate well across culture. Also, the ILs seem like more formal people and may feel that it's inappropriately familiar to joke so much with strangers. Sue(tm) Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself! |
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