and even if the basics/dry goods are odered online and fresh is picked up
that works also, there are always options in this situation, my mother and i
recently discussed this and she said in no way would they move in with any
of us it would be assisted living or a nursing home as its too stressful for
the caregivers once you can't live alone, she was dead serious and meant
every word... Lee
"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>>
>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home
>>>> 1/2
>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
>>>> are
>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
>>>> the
>>>> : next day.
>>>>
>>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>>
>>>> : kate
>>>>
>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5
>>>> das
>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>>> mother
>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
>>>> computer.
>>>>
>>>> Wendy
>>>
>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>>> know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>>> restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance, frozen
>>> and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale meals and
>>> typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on wheels options.
>>
>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they live.
>> But I know they would never eat that. Between all their dietary issues
>> and pickiness it would never work.
>
> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options though.
> The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole lifestyle.
> Its too late to say they should have thought these things out a long time
> ago though. I used to care for a man who had a stroke, his wife is a well
> known author. They lived not all that far from me but on acres in this
> wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look after him and write as well so
> she got a nursing service in to do all his personal needs stuff twice a
> day. She also hired a woman who came in and cooked fabulous meals a few
> times a week. They didn't need to be frozen as she was there often enough.
> She would also do a bit of basic housework as well. It worked for them. I
> have tried online shopping a couple of times, didn't like it as much as
> going to the supermarket myself but that is workable. You could order for
> them if they choose that path.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> and something i forgot to mention, beyond the price you have also
> mentioned a sauna, something neither of us find needed for keeping
> clean or dry, we prefer to use those sorts of facilities while
> travelling/in hotels, but again, its a difference in perspective...
> our house wasn't crayppy and neither is the new one coming but its
> really modest and energy effecient and maintainace free as possible,
> so we can persue the things that interst us, instead of devoting time
> to a house that is a house and has no emotional investment, Lee

I would be more upset about the presumption that you live in a crap box
than anything else.

I don't have emotional investment in any house. Probably why I find it
easy to set up home wherever, as long as my family are there that's all
that matters to me.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> there are pros and cons to basement/slab/crawl space... we choose no
> basement because we are with this house planning for being older, when we
> choose the one that burnt my abject fear of stairs played in, we have
> lived in houses/apts with stairs but its too strressful... storage is a
> pro/con issue... on one hand it allows for easy keeping of things not
> often used and things that fit into the memory catagor... but that is also
> the con... the pro side of that isn't big enough to overcome my fear of
> stairs.
>
> I don't know squat about slab housing as i never lived in one and didn't
> do research as my father advised against it... Lee

I think this is a slab house. Not sure. My parents have a split level and
it is a real pain for me now. I also worry that my dad will fall down the
stairs. He has fallen a lot lately. And don't ask me why but... They put
a fridge in their basement. Which is fine, but... They insist on keeping
all of their beverages in it. So whenever someone wants a cold drink, they
have to go downstairs. I always sneak an extra or two of my Lime Diet Cokes
upstairs. They do have a beverage holder compartment in the door of their
fridge. They don't use it. For the life of me I can't fathom why.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> OMG i couldn't sleep at night with that sized payment... like susan
> said... when you go to the bank... and they approve you for some huge
> amount, when we bought in 92 we were approved for ten times what we
> spent... i simply couldn't do that, but then i can't sleep when we have a
> note on a car or owe on a credit card, so we got rid of the cards, and dh
> buys for cash on the cars, Lee

Well we have no choice. That is what it costs to live here. They approved
us for $350,000.00 and there is just no way we could have done that. The
amount we pay is already difficult and requires constant budgeting on my
part. My other half just thinks he makes a lot of money and can then spend
a lot. He has no clue how hard I work to try to save money. Yes, I know
Angela's dance costs a lot of money. She is indeed lucky that we are able
to pay for it. My husband's car payment is also a problem. Angela and I
were very angry over the brand new car. I have never had a new car and
probably never will. It's just an expense that we don't need. And it was
hit right off the bat after he got it. So... Grrrrr.

this is the very reason i am not upset by someone elses judgement of a house
they have never seen, when at the same time accusing me of making judgements
i did not make, sorta sad really , Lee
"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> and something i forgot to mention, beyond the price you have also
>> mentioned a sauna, something neither of us find needed for keeping clean
>> or dry, we prefer to use those sorts of facilities while travelling/in
>> hotels, but again, its a difference in perspective... our house wasn't
>> crayppy and neither is the new one coming but its really modest and
>> energy effecient and maintainace free as possible, so we can persue the
>> things that interst us, instead of devoting time to a house that is a
>> house and has no emotional investment, Lee
>
> I would be more upset about the presumption that you live in a crap box
> than anything else.
>
> I don't have emotional investment in any house. Probably why I find it
> easy to set up home wherever, as long as my family are there that's all
> that matters to me.

its a slab house if there is no basement, or there is no foundation that can
be entered to do work on the heating water. the one next door to my parents
house was a slab house, it had carpet and tile directly on the floor which
was concrete, but it was a brick home and quite cozy and warm in the
winter... an older couple lived there, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> there are pros and cons to basement/slab/crawl space... we choose no
>> basement because we are with this house planning for being older, when we
>> choose the one that burnt my abject fear of stairs played in, we have
>> lived in houses/apts with stairs but its too strressful... storage is a
>> pro/con issue... on one hand it allows for easy keeping of things not
>> often used and things that fit into the memory catagor... but that is
>> also the con... the pro side of that isn't big enough to overcome my fear
>> of stairs.
>>
>> I don't know squat about slab housing as i never lived in one and didn't
>> do research as my father advised against it... Lee
>
> I think this is a slab house. Not sure. My parents have a split level
> and it is a real pain for me now. I also worry that my dad will fall down
> the stairs. He has fallen a lot lately. And don't ask me why but...
> They put a fridge in their basement. Which is fine, but... They insist
> on keeping all of their beverages in it. So whenever someone wants a cold
> drink, they have to go downstairs. I always sneak an extra or two of my
> Lime Diet Cokes upstairs. They do have a beverage holder compartment in
> the door of their fridge. They don't use it. For the life of me I can't
> fathom why.
>

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
>a comparision to a car is a good one, and if i can get in and get there it
>works for me, a couple of cars back we decided to pay cash, after a couple
>of brand new we determined that used was fine... so now we pay cash, buy a
>reasonable transport and have lots of money to take it around to places we
>want to see and things we want to do... Lee

I'm different there. I buy a new car and keep it for a lot of years. I
always buy with no interest, having the money in the bank to pay for it if
it comes to that, but I'd sooner use their money when I can. :-)

Cheri

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>>
>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home
>>>> 1/2
>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
>>>> are
>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
>>>> the
>>>> : next day.
>>>>
>>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>>
>>>> : kate
>>>>
>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5
>>>> das
>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>>> mother
>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
>>>> computer.
>>>>
>>>> Wendy
>>>
>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>>> know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>>> restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance, frozen
>>> and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale meals and
>>> typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on wheels options.
>>
>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they live.
>> But I know they would never eat that. Between all their dietary issues
>> and pickiness it would never work.
>
> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options though.
> The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole lifestyle.
> Its too late to say they should have thought these things out a long time
> ago though. I used to care for a man who had a stroke, his wife is a well
> known author. They lived not all that far from me but on acres in this
> wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look after him and write as well so
> she got a nursing service in to do all his personal needs stuff twice a
> day. She also hired a woman who came in and cooked fabulous meals a few
> times a week. They didn't need to be frozen as she was there often enough.
> She would also do a bit of basic housework as well. It worked for them. I
> have tried online shopping a couple of times, didn't like it as much as
> going to the supermarket myself but that is workable. You could order for
> them if they choose that path.

I found out tonight that most likely he will not be allowed to drive for 6
months. He is doing quite well in some ways but there are some memory
issues. We were told this will most likely get better.

I told the person who was working with him that my mom doesn't like to cook
(she took offense to this) and that they normally go out to eat, which they
do. I also told her that he doesn't know how to cook much, which he
doesn't. So she said they would put him in the kitchen and teach him how to
cook a few things. My mom seemed a bit horrified at this and said he was
capable of getting his own cereal and making eggs if he wanted them. And
that she could cook but didn't because *he* liked to go out to eat. I am
not sure how much truth there is in this at all. Frankly I don't think so.

Yes, I know they both like to go out to eat and always have. But I think it
is more a matter of her not wanting to cook over the years and her being so
limited as to what she will cook.

I guess we will just have to see how that goes. Personally I don't think
she should be allowed to drive but they did just renew her license in May.
She is very stubborn and will fight me tooth and nail if I try to do the
shopping for them (which I likely could not because she is super picky about
brands and things) or even drive them to the store. She hates to shop and
worse yet she and my dad hate to go shopping with me! I like to go up and
down every aisle looking for new products and if I am going to buy something
I read the label. That is not how she shops. Although my dad does like to
look for new things and will frequently pick up things that catch his eye
that are not on the list.

I may have to drive them to some Drs. appointments and such. My SIL has her
hands full with her own parents who are older than mine. And my nephew is
now back in college and baby-sits his girlfriend's nieces and nephews in his
spare time. So that kind of just leaves me.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> had we to do it over, we would have rented and banked the difference, that
> would have really allowed for a lot more travel, Lee

We bought our house late in life, and now I wish we had just kept renting.
New roofs, and many upgrades aren't cheap, and moving on in retirement isn't
all that easy with a house to sell, especially in this market. :-)

Cheri

i totally understand, in 92 that is what we were approved for, i choked...
no thanks... but as to angelas dance, if it interests her, and gives her
exercise of mind and body i see no reason you shouldn't try and save to do
it, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> OMG i couldn't sleep at night with that sized payment... like susan
>> said... when you go to the bank... and they approve you for some huge
>> amount, when we bought in 92 we were approved for ten times what we
>> spent... i simply couldn't do that, but then i can't sleep when we have a
>> note on a car or owe on a credit card, so we got rid of the cards, and dh
>> buys for cash on the cars, Lee
>
> Well we have no choice. That is what it costs to live here. They
> approved us for $350,000.00 and there is just no way we could have done
> that. The amount we pay is already difficult and requires constant
> budgeting on my part. My other half just thinks he makes a lot of money
> and can then spend a lot. He has no clue how hard I work to try to save
> money. Yes, I know Angela's dance costs a lot of money. She is indeed
> lucky that we are able to pay for it. My husband's car payment is also a
> problem. Angela and I were very angry over the brand new car. I have
> never had a new car and probably never will. It's just an expense that we
> don't need. And it was hit right off the bat after he got it. So...
> Grrrrr.
>

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...

> My husband is going to try to do that but I don't know because it is
> financed at a pretty low rate. And it needs sooo many repairs it
> wouldn't pass inspection. The house is not up to code and we can't
> afford to put it that way.
>
> I love renting too. But I couldn't convince my husband to rent.
> There are apartments around the corner from here. Angela's friend
> lives in them. The rent is half what we pay for a 3 bedroom, 2 full
> bath. Free pizza and movies on Mondays and there is a pool and some
> other amenities. I would be fine with that. He is not.

Ooo, I would be fine with that too My kids are too old for a yard now
so we don't need one, although I do have Jasmine's trampoline and swing
set in the small one we have. I am surprised the mortgage company
approved the loan with the house not up to code. They need to know they
can get their money of you default. Being a home owner has been
instilled into a lot of people by parents etc and is not necessarily the
right thing for some people.

that is a viable option, one of the last new ones had a zero finance and
rebate, dh convinced me to take part of it as a note to get through the
winter and not draw money from somewhere else... so that is what we did, we
still have that pickup its ten years old... they wanted us to take four
years to pay but dh said no two, and we got through the winter which is our
slow time at work then he paid it off the next summer, Lee
"Cheri" > wrote in message
...
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>>a comparision to a car is a good one, and if i can get in and get there it
>>works for me, a couple of cars back we decided to pay cash, after a couple
>>of brand new we determined that used was fine... so now we pay cash, buy a
>>reasonable transport and have lots of money to take it around to places we
>>want to see and things we want to do... Lee
>
> I'm different there. I buy a new car and keep it for a lot of years. I
> always buy with no interest, having the money in the bank to pay for it if
> it comes to that, but I'd sooner use their money when I can. :-)
>
> Cheri

on the plus side is that we can easily live where we have the house until it
does sell, the bridge of getting accomodations where we land might make it
tight but probably not undoable, and honestly, i think i prefer travelling
while we are still healthy enough to enjoy it when we can rather than
retireing divesting and then being too old to enjoy that raft rid, Lee
"Cheri" > wrote in message
...
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> had we to do it over, we would have rented and banked the difference,
>> that would have really allowed for a lot more travel, Lee
>
> We bought our house late in life, and now I wish we had just kept renting.
> New roofs, and many upgrades aren't cheap, and moving on in retirement
> isn't all that easy with a house to sell, especially in this market. :-)
>
> Cheri

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
>>>>> every
>>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take
>>>>> home 1/2
>>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a
>>>>> soft
>>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left
>>>>> overs are
>>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at
>>>>> home the
>>>>> : next day.
>>>>>
>>>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>>>
>>>>> : kate
>>>>>
>>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches
>>>>> for a
>>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the
>>>>> house 5 das
>>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>>>> mother
>>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from
>>>>> the
>>>>> computer.
>>>>>
>>>>> Wendy
>>>>
>>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I
>>>> don't know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I
>>>> know some restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in
>>>> advance, frozen and you only need to reheat them. These would be
>>>> more upscale meals and typically are a touch more appealing than
>>>> the meals on wheels options.
>>>
>>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they
>>> live. But I know they would never eat that. Between all their
>>> dietary issues and pickiness it would never work.
>>
>> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options
>> though. The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole
>> lifestyle. Its too late to say they should have thought these things
>> out a long time ago though. I used to care for a man who had a
>> stroke, his wife is a well known author. They lived not all that far
>> from me but on acres in this wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look
>> after him and write as well so she got a nursing service in to do all
>> his personal needs stuff twice a day. She also hired a woman who came
>> in and cooked fabulous meals a few times a week. They didn't need to
>> be frozen as she was there often enough. She would also do a bit of
>> basic housework as well. It worked for them. I have tried online
>> shopping a couple of times, didn't like it as much as going to the
>> supermarket myself but that is workable. You could order for them if
>> they choose that path.
>
> I found out tonight that most likely he will not be allowed to drive
> for 6 months. He is doing quite well in some ways but there are some
> memory issues. We were told this will most likely get better.
>
> I told the person who was working with him that my mom doesn't like to
> cook (she took offense to this) and that they normally go out to eat,
> which they do. I also told her that he doesn't know how to cook much,
> which he doesn't. So she said they would put him in the kitchen and
> teach him how to cook a few things. My mom seemed a bit horrified at
> this and said he was capable of getting his own cereal and making eggs
> if he wanted them. And that she could cook but didn't because *he*
> liked to go out to eat. I am not sure how much truth there is in this
> at all. Frankly I don't think so.
>
> Yes, I know they both like to go out to eat and always have. But I
> think it is more a matter of her not wanting to cook over the years
> and her being so limited as to what she will cook.
>
> I guess we will just have to see how that goes. Personally I don't
> think she should be allowed to drive but they did just renew her
> license in May. She is very stubborn and will fight me tooth and nail
> if I try to do the shopping for them (which I likely could not because
> she is super picky about brands and things) or even drive them to the
> store. She hates to shop and worse yet she and my dad hate to go
> shopping with me! I like to go up and down every aisle looking for
> new products and if I am going to buy something I read the label.
> That is not how she shops. Although my dad does like to look for new
> things and will frequently pick up things that catch his eye that are
> not on the list.
>
> I may have to drive them to some Drs. appointments and such. My SIL
> has her hands full with her own parents who are older than mine. And
> my nephew is now back in college and baby-sits his girlfriend's nieces
> and nephews in his spare time. So that kind of just leaves me.

Dunno how it works there but here, in this situation, a social worker
would come and talk to the patient and spouse/carer to make sure
everything is going to be ok when the patient is discharged. If someone
other than you can do all the talking that your mum hates it might have
a better effect. Eventually your mum will realise she has to "give" on a
few things.

i am not sure about elswhere either, but if the social worker is not
convinced that adequate care will be given they can reccomend that the
paitent is only released to assitive living or a nursing care facility, once
this happens lots of the choices are removed from the patient and spouse...
my brother who is 55 was in this quandry as he is now single and his
children work/and aren't close, in order to get him released from the
hospital the last time my mom had to spend two weeks with him it was a month
the time before that. Lee
"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>>>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
>>>>>> every
>>>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take
>>>>>> home 1/2
>>>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
>>>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
>>>>>> are
>>>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> : next day.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>>>>
>>>>>> : kate
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for
>>>>>> a
>>>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house
>>>>>> 5 das
>>>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>>>>> mother
>>>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
>>>>>> computer.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Wendy
>>>>>
>>>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>>>>> know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>>>>> restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance,
>>>>> frozen and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale
>>>>> meals and typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on
>>>>> wheels options.
>>>>
>>>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they live.
>>>> But I know they would never eat that. Between all their dietary issues
>>>> and pickiness it would never work.
>>>
>>> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options though.
>>> The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole lifestyle.
>>> Its too late to say they should have thought these things out a long
>>> time ago though. I used to care for a man who had a stroke, his wife is
>>> a well known author. They lived not all that far from me but on acres in
>>> this wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look after him and write as
>>> well so she got a nursing service in to do all his personal needs stuff
>>> twice a day. She also hired a woman who came in and cooked fabulous
>>> meals a few times a week. They didn't need to be frozen as she was there
>>> often enough. She would also do a bit of basic housework as well. It
>>> worked for them. I have tried online shopping a couple of times, didn't
>>> like it as much as going to the supermarket myself but that is workable.
>>> You could order for them if they choose that path.
>>
>> I found out tonight that most likely he will not be allowed to drive for
>> 6 months. He is doing quite well in some ways but there are some memory
>> issues. We were told this will most likely get better.
>>
>> I told the person who was working with him that my mom doesn't like to
>> cook (she took offense to this) and that they normally go out to eat,
>> which they do. I also told her that he doesn't know how to cook much,
>> which he doesn't. So she said they would put him in the kitchen and
>> teach him how to cook a few things. My mom seemed a bit horrified at
>> this and said he was capable of getting his own cereal and making eggs if
>> he wanted them. And that she could cook but didn't because *he* liked to
>> go out to eat. I am not sure how much truth there is in this at all.
>> Frankly I don't think so.
>>
>> Yes, I know they both like to go out to eat and always have. But I think
>> it is more a matter of her not wanting to cook over the years and her
>> being so limited as to what she will cook.
>>
>> I guess we will just have to see how that goes. Personally I don't think
>> she should be allowed to drive but they did just renew her license in
>> May. She is very stubborn and will fight me tooth and nail if I try to do
>> the shopping for them (which I likely could not because she is super
>> picky about brands and things) or even drive them to the store. She
>> hates to shop and worse yet she and my dad hate to go shopping with me!
>> I like to go up and down every aisle looking for new products and if I am
>> going to buy something I read the label. That is not how she shops.
>> Although my dad does like to look for new things and will frequently pick
>> up things that catch his eye that are not on the list.
>>
>> I may have to drive them to some Drs. appointments and such. My SIL has
>> her hands full with her own parents who are older than mine. And my
>> nephew is now back in college and baby-sits his girlfriend's nieces and
>> nephews in his spare time. So that kind of just leaves me.
>
> Dunno how it works there but here, in this situation, a social worker
> would come and talk to the patient and spouse/carer to make sure
> everything is going to be ok when the patient is discharged. If someone
> other than you can do all the talking that your mum hates it might have a
> better effect. Eventually your mum will realise she has to "give" on a few
> things.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> and even if the basics/dry goods are odered online and fresh is picked up
> that works also, there are always options in this situation, my mother and
> i recently discussed this and she said in no way would they move in with
> any of us it would be assisted living or a nursing home as its too
> stressful for the caregivers once you can't live alone, she was dead
> serious and meant every word... Lee

Safeway still delivers groceries here but I doubt they would go for that.

I do know that I am not capable of caring for anyone for any length of time.
I tried to do that with my MIL but given my own medical problems and
disability I am not fit for that. I can cook meals and do a little light
housekeeping. That's it!

We don't have any room in our house for them at all. I don't think my
brother does either and nobody would be home at their house anyway.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
>i meant exactly what i said, focus is you make it a home and you think it
>is an investment... i just had a very modest home burn we paid 35k for that
>one, the replacement should end up being around 150k and is a bit smaller..
>
> as to the difference in focus, a house is a place to sleep and get clean
> and store stuff... my home is wherever dh happens to be and has no
> relation to a particular structure/location... housing is not an
> investment to me, it only costs money, the only thing we consider
> investments are things that generate income. IE
>
> just as i said a difference in focus, please don't take offense at a
> perceived judgement that did not occur... Lee

I don't consider our house an investment either. We bought it so late in
life. We bought it when the price was high. Not the highest but close to
it. And now the price is worth less than what we paid. Houses are just not
selling in this neighborhood any more. Yes the new houses are selling. But
not the older ones.

knowing your limits and those of your brother is an excellent starting
point, it might be a screaming match but you and brother if he will are
going to just have to say, this is what we can do to help, in order to keep
you out of a nursing home this is what we need to have you do... that could
be shopping with you, o r letting you shop for them... i swear julie scaring
them into understanding that once socail services gets into it is an ok
stratedgy, i have seen som horrid results when even well meaning socail
service people get into it, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> and even if the basics/dry goods are odered online and fresh is picked up
>> that works also, there are always options in this situation, my mother
>> and i recently discussed this and she said in no way would they move in
>> with any of us it would be assisted living or a nursing home as its too
>> stressful for the caregivers once you can't live alone, she was dead
>> serious and meant every word... Lee
>
> Safeway still delivers groceries here but I doubt they would go for that.
>
> I do know that I am not capable of caring for anyone for any length of
> time. I tried to do that with my MIL but given my own medical problems and
> disability I am not fit for that. I can cook meals and do a little light
> housekeeping. That's it!
>
> We don't have any room in our house for them at all. I don't think my
> brother does either and nobody would be home at their house anyway.
>

i don't care if you bought it new and cheap and it is now worth three times
what you paid... an investment is something that provides ongoing income a
house is not, it is a place you pay rent to yourself for the priviiligde of
living there, nothing more or less, most houses get sold under stress, a
fact that people don't pyay attention to often, your job changes, you retire
or one of you becomes disabled to the point you must sell or lose
everything, there are very few imho sales that are on the terms of the
seller... bless those who can... one of the best explainations i ever read
was that richdad/poor dad guys explaination of what an investment is... it
was funny when we read it, the dh is reading, and i busted out laughing...
he says whats funny... i said, are you getting royalties or what. Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>>i meant exactly what i said, focus is you make it a home and you think it
>>is an investment... i just had a very modest home burn we paid 35k for
>>that one, the replacement should end up being around 150k and is a bit
>>smaller..
>>
>> as to the difference in focus, a house is a place to sleep and get clean
>> and store stuff... my home is wherever dh happens to be and has no
>> relation to a particular structure/location... housing is not an
>> investment to me, it only costs money, the only thing we consider
>> investments are things that generate income. IE
>>
>> just as i said a difference in focus, please don't take offense at a
>> perceived judgement that did not occur... Lee
>
> I don't consider our house an investment either. We bought it so late in
> life. We bought it when the price was high. Not the highest but close to
> it. And now the price is worth less than what we paid. Houses are just
> not selling in this neighborhood any more. Yes the new houses are
> selling. But not the older ones.
>

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> its a slab house if there is no basement, or there is no foundation that
> can be entered to do work on the heating water. the one next door to my
> parents house was a slab house, it had carpet and tile directly on the
> floor which was concrete, but it was a brick home and quite cozy and warm
> in the winter... an older couple lived there, Lee

Our water heater is in the tiny garage. It is called a garage because there
is a garage door but you couldn't fit a car in there. There is a crawlspace
under the house. So maybe not a slab?

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
>i totally understand, in 92 that is what we were approved for, i choked...
>no thanks... but as to angelas dance, if it interests her, and gives her
>exercise of mind and body i see no reason you shouldn't try and save to do
>it, Lee

Dance is her life. She wants to teach dance when she gets older.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> that is sad since he isn't there often, Lee

I know.

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>> My husband is going to try to do that but I don't know because it is
>> financed at a pretty low rate. And it needs sooo many repairs it
>> wouldn't pass inspection. The house is not up to code and we can't
>> afford to put it that way.
>>
>> I love renting too. But I couldn't convince my husband to rent. There
>> are apartments around the corner from here. Angela's friend lives in
>> them. The rent is half what we pay for a 3 bedroom, 2 full bath. Free
>> pizza and movies on Mondays and there is a pool and some other amenities.
>> I would be fine with that. He is not.
>
> Ooo, I would be fine with that too My kids are too old for a yard now
> so we don't need one, although I do have Jasmine's trampoline and swing
> set in the small one we have. I am surprised the mortgage company approved
> the loan with the house not up to code. They need to know they can get
> their money of you default. Being a home owner has been instilled into a
> lot of people by parents etc and is not necessarily the right thing for
> some people.

We rarely ever use the yard. Only if we are stuck at home and it is too hot
to sit in the house which I think is going to happen next week! But we will
be at either the dance studio or hospital our both. Unseasonably hot temps
coming our way. But really we've had no summer.

Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
well.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> knowing your limits and those of your brother is an excellent starting
> point, it might be a screaming match but you and brother if he will
> are going to just have to say, this is what we can do to help, in
> order to keep you out of a nursing home this is what we need to have
> you do... that could be shopping with you, o r letting you shop for
> them... i swear julie scaring them into understanding that once socail
> services gets into it is an ok stratedgy, i have seen som horrid
> results when even well meaning socail service people get into it, Lee
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> and even if the basics/dry goods are odered online and fresh is
>>> picked up that works also, there are always options in this
>>> situation, my mother and i recently discussed this and she said in
>>> no way would they move in with any of us it would be assisted living
>>> or a nursing home as its too stressful for the caregivers once you
>>> can't live alone, she was dead serious and meant every word... Lee
>>
>> Safeway still delivers groceries here but I doubt they would go for
>> that.
>>
>> I do know that I am not capable of caring for anyone for any length
>> of time. I tried to do that with my MIL but given my own medical
>> problems and disability I am not fit for that. I can cook meals and
>> do a little light housekeeping. That's it!
>>
>> We don't have any room in our house for them at all. I don't think
>> my brother does either and nobody would be home at their house
>> anyway.
>>
>
>
>

"Cheri" > wrote in message
...
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> had we to do it over, we would have rented and banked the difference,
>> that would have really allowed for a lot more travel, Lee
>
> We bought our house late in life, and now I wish we had just kept renting.
> New roofs, and many upgrades aren't cheap, and moving on in retirement
> isn't all that easy with a house to sell, especially in this market. :-)

I don't know where my husband got this idea from but he thought he could buy
a house and make a ton of money by selling it in a few years. Nobody could
talk him out of that notion. I am sick of this house and all of its
problems.

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>>i meant exactly what i said, focus is you make it a home and you think
>>it is an investment... i just had a very modest home burn we paid 35k
>>for that one, the replacement should end up being around 150k and is a
>>bit smaller..
>>
>> as to the difference in focus, a house is a place to sleep and get
>> clean and store stuff... my home is wherever dh happens to be and has
>> no relation to a particular structure/location... housing is not an
>> investment to me, it only costs money, the only thing we consider
>> investments are things that generate income. IE
>>
>> just as i said a difference in focus, please don't take offense at a
>> perceived judgement that did not occur... Lee
>
> I don't consider our house an investment either. We bought it so late
> in life. We bought it when the price was high. Not the highest but
> close to it. And now the price is worth less than what we paid.
> Houses are just not selling in this neighborhood any more. Yes the
> new houses are selling. But not the older ones.

And the world economic news today is bad. Might be a shock when you all
wake up tomorrow. Tomorrow is here already ;(

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>>>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
>>>>>> every
>>>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take
>>>>>> home 1/2
>>>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
>>>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
>>>>>> are
>>>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> : next day.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>>>>
>>>>>> : kate
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for
>>>>>> a
>>>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house
>>>>>> 5 das
>>>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>>>>> mother
>>>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
>>>>>> computer.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Wendy
>>>>>
>>>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>>>>> know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>>>>> restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance,
>>>>> frozen and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale
>>>>> meals and typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on
>>>>> wheels options.
>>>>
>>>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they live.
>>>> But I know they would never eat that. Between all their dietary issues
>>>> and pickiness it would never work.
>>>
>>> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options though.
>>> The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole lifestyle.
>>> Its too late to say they should have thought these things out a long
>>> time ago though. I used to care for a man who had a stroke, his wife is
>>> a well known author. They lived not all that far from me but on acres in
>>> this wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look after him and write as
>>> well so she got a nursing service in to do all his personal needs stuff
>>> twice a day. She also hired a woman who came in and cooked fabulous
>>> meals a few times a week. They didn't need to be frozen as she was there
>>> often enough. She would also do a bit of basic housework as well. It
>>> worked for them. I have tried online shopping a couple of times, didn't
>>> like it as much as going to the supermarket myself but that is workable.
>>> You could order for them if they choose that path.
>>
>> I found out tonight that most likely he will not be allowed to drive for
>> 6 months. He is doing quite well in some ways but there are some memory
>> issues. We were told this will most likely get better.
>>
>> I told the person who was working with him that my mom doesn't like to
>> cook (she took offense to this) and that they normally go out to eat,
>> which they do. I also told her that he doesn't know how to cook much,
>> which he doesn't. So she said they would put him in the kitchen and
>> teach him how to cook a few things. My mom seemed a bit horrified at
>> this and said he was capable of getting his own cereal and making eggs if
>> he wanted them. And that she could cook but didn't because *he* liked to
>> go out to eat. I am not sure how much truth there is in this at all.
>> Frankly I don't think so.
>>
>> Yes, I know they both like to go out to eat and always have. But I think
>> it is more a matter of her not wanting to cook over the years and her
>> being so limited as to what she will cook.
>>
>> I guess we will just have to see how that goes. Personally I don't think
>> she should be allowed to drive but they did just renew her license in
>> May. She is very stubborn and will fight me tooth and nail if I try to do
>> the shopping for them (which I likely could not because she is super
>> picky about brands and things) or even drive them to the store. She
>> hates to shop and worse yet she and my dad hate to go shopping with me!
>> I like to go up and down every aisle looking for new products and if I am
>> going to buy something I read the label. That is not how she shops.
>> Although my dad does like to look for new things and will frequently pick
>> up things that catch his eye that are not on the list.
>>
>> I may have to drive them to some Drs. appointments and such. My SIL has
>> her hands full with her own parents who are older than mine. And my
>> nephew is now back in college and baby-sits his girlfriend's nieces and
>> nephews in his spare time. So that kind of just leaves me.
>
> Dunno how it works there but here, in this situation, a social worker
> would come and talk to the patient and spouse/carer to make sure
> everything is going to be ok when the patient is discharged. If someone
> other than you can do all the talking that your mum hates it might have a
> better effect. Eventually your mum will realise she has to "give" on a few
> things.

Someone did come in and talk while my mom was out of the room. Then she
came back and pretty much said that everything I said was wrong. Gah!

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> knowing your limits and those of your brother is an excellent starting
> point, it might be a screaming match but you and brother if he will are
> going to just have to say, this is what we can do to help, in order to
> keep you out of a nursing home this is what we need to have you do... that
> could be shopping with you, o r letting you shop for them... i swear julie
> scaring them into understanding that once socail services gets into it is
> an ok stratedgy, i have seen som horrid results when even well meaning
> socail service people get into it, Lee

Well they did seem to be shocked when they were told he couldn't drive for 6
months. I got the idea that they thought after the end of the 2 weeks of
therapy he could be back to normal.

I know he could physically still drive a car but with his memory problems it
could be very dangerous! He currently seems very slow to be able to process
some thoughts.

"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
> Tiger Lily > wrote:
> : On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
> : > Tiger > wrote:
>
> : > : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
> every
> : > : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home
> 1/2
> : > : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
> : > : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
> are
> : > : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
> the
> : > : next day.
> : >
> : > : i didn't define elderly
> : > : he's 102 and she's 97
> : >
> : > : kate
> : >
> : > Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for
> a
> : > small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5
> das
> : > a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
> mother
> : > could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
> : > computer.
> : >
> : > Wendy
>
> : Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
> : know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
> : restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance, frozen
> : and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale meals and
> : typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on wheels options.
>
> : kate
>
> In the very rural Margateville area there is a senior feeding program at
> the local Methodist church(not church run, but gov't run) it has a luch
> program for those who can travel or be bussed there and home delivered
> meals for those who are homebound. Menus issues monthly-no choice, but
> very inexpensive and standard institutional nutritions. Many of the town
> have a similar program in Delaware county. Judging from the number of
> food stores that Julie seems to have available at less than 50 miles away,
> I would say that her area is far less rural than Delaware County.

My parents live in a suburb of Seattle with pretty much all they might need
except perhaps for some medical specialists which is why he was transferred
to that specific hospital. There is a grocery store within walking distance
from their house. Also some restaurants but for the most part not ones they
would eat in. There is a Subway. My dad likes it. My mom does not. My
dad can not walk very far. My mom can, but given her macular degeneration I
feel it would be unsafe for her to go out on her own. She knows that she
has it, but seems to be in severe denial about how bad it is. She still
seems to think that what she sees (or doesn't see) is what everyone else
sees.

When my dad was driving she would yell at him for jerking the car around
having no clue that he had actually changed to another lane. When we would
tell her that he did she would either say that she didn't know or that he
really hadn't done that.

Once I commented on a woman's green eye shadow (she was totally dressed in
green) and my mom tried to tell me that I couldn't see the woman's eyes.
But I clearly could.

Real Estate investment is totally dependant on circumstances out of our
control. My daughter's partner has been into property investment for
years. He never buys ordinary houses as they are vulnerable to losses
and have smaller profits. He has an eye for where areas are going to
take off. His idea of profit is to buy at 1 million dollars and sell at
1.5+. If he can't sell in a hurry he uses companies that specialise in
executive rentals. There is always someone, especially from overseas,
that want to live in a million dollar property overlooking Sydney
Harbour. All the owner has to do is provide linen (all white) and the
furniture. Executive rentals have always filled that gap for him between
buying and selling.

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> i don't care if you bought it new and cheap and it is now worth three
> times what you paid... an investment is something that provides
> ongoing income a house is not, it is a place you pay rent to yourself
> for the priviiligde of living there, nothing more or less, most houses
> get sold under stress, a fact that people don't pyay attention to
> often, your job changes, you retire or one of you becomes disabled to
> the point you must sell or lose everything, there are very few imho
> sales that are on the terms of the seller... bless those who can...
> one of the best explainations i ever read was that richdad/poor dad
> guys explaination of what an investment is... it was funny when we
> read it, the dh is reading, and i busted out laughing... he says whats
> funny... i said, are you getting royalties or what. Lee
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>i meant exactly what i said, focus is you make it a home and you
>>>think it is an investment... i just had a very modest home burn we
>>>paid 35k for that one, the replacement should end up being around
>>>150k and is a bit smaller..
>>>
>>> as to the difference in focus, a house is a place to sleep and get
>>> clean and store stuff... my home is wherever dh happens to be and
>>> has no relation to a particular structure/location... housing is not
>>> an investment to me, it only costs money, the only thing we consider
>>> investments are things that generate income. IE
>>>
>>> just as i said a difference in focus, please don't take offense at a
>>> perceived judgement that did not occur... Lee
>>
>> I don't consider our house an investment either. We bought it so
>> late in life. We bought it when the price was high. Not the highest
>> but close to it. And now the price is worth less than what we paid.
>> Houses are just not selling in this neighborhood any more. Yes the
>> new houses are selling. But not the older ones.
>>
>
>
>

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> its a slab house if there is no basement, or there is no foundation
>> that can be entered to do work on the heating water. the one next
>> door to my parents house was a slab house, it had carpet and tile
>> directly on the floor which was concrete, but it was a brick home and
>> quite cozy and warm in the winter... an older couple lived there, Lee
>
> Our water heater is in the tiny garage. It is called a garage because
> there is a garage door but you couldn't fit a car in there. There is
> a crawlspace under the house. So maybe not a slab?

No, not a slab.

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Cheri" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> had we to do it over, we would have rented and banked the
>>> difference, that would have really allowed for a lot more travel,
>>> Lee
>>
>> We bought our house late in life, and now I wish we had just kept
>> renting. New roofs, and many upgrades aren't cheap, and moving on in
>> retirement isn't all that easy with a house to sell, especially in
>> this market. :-)
>
> I don't know where my husband got this idea from but he thought he
> could buy a house and make a ton of money by selling it in a few
> years. Nobody could talk him out of that notion. I am sick of this
> house and all of its problems.

He is not alone in thinking like that. There are more than a few
companies out there giving people that idea. What he could have saved in
interest could have been used for so many things You don't buy a
house for $100,000 and sell at $200,00 for $100,000 profit. You buy a
house at $100,000 PLUS interest. The profit margin is a hell of a lot
smaller when viewed that way. If he had paid all that interest into his
defence super plan he would have been bucket loads ahead at retirement
time.

correct its a crawl space house, some have concrete floors under the craw
space most do not, the area is for two purposes, one is to allow work to be
done, and the other is to get it off the ground and allow it to sort of
inusulate the floors from the cold, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> its a slab house if there is no basement, or there is no foundation that
>> can be entered to do work on the heating water. the one next door to my
>> parents house was a slab house, it had carpet and tile directly on the
>> floor which was concrete, but it was a brick home and quite cozy and warm
>> in the winter... an older couple lived there, Lee
>
> Our water heater is in the tiny garage. It is called a garage because
> there is a garage door but you couldn't fit a car in there. There is a
> crawlspace under the house. So maybe not a slab?
>

then you are making a good parental decision, one of the reasons we can do
as we please is that we are not responsible for any humans except ourselves,
so as long as we have money put back for the cat care its all ours to waste
as we see fit, his stepmother is fixed well as are my parents, and his
mother is fine as long as there arere no emergencies... she still lives on
her own at 86 so we worry about her a lot, but his sister is close, and she
is so very attached to her house, if she were forced to move it would kill
her quickly so we are all resigned to her staying ther until the end, she
would not last a month if she had to move, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>>i totally understand, in 92 that is what we were approved for, i choked...
>>no thanks... but as to angelas dance, if it interests her, and gives her
>>exercise of mind and body i see no reason you shouldn't try and save to do
>>it, Lee
>
> Dance is her life. She wants to teach dance when she gets older.
>

our yard isn't used except by the birds and wild critters, which for my part
i wish wouldn't be there. i am hoping to do some things to it to make it
more user friendly once we get into the new house, another issue that came
up when the house burnt is that our yard lady retired that year, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>>> My husband is going to try to do that but I don't know because it is
>>> financed at a pretty low rate. And it needs sooo many repairs it
>>> wouldn't pass inspection. The house is not up to code and we can't
>>> afford to put it that way.
>>>
>>> I love renting too. But I couldn't convince my husband to rent. There
>>> are apartments around the corner from here. Angela's friend lives in
>>> them. The rent is half what we pay for a 3 bedroom, 2 full bath. Free
>>> pizza and movies on Mondays and there is a pool and some other
>>> amenities. I would be fine with that. He is not.
>>
>> Ooo, I would be fine with that too My kids are too old for a yard now
>> so we don't need one, although I do have Jasmine's trampoline and swing
>> set in the small one we have. I am surprised the mortgage company
>> approved the loan with the house not up to code. They need to know they
>> can get their money of you default. Being a home owner has been instilled
>> into a lot of people by parents etc and is not necessarily the right
>> thing for some people.
>
> We rarely ever use the yard. Only if we are stuck at home and it is too
> hot to sit in the house which I think is going to happen next week! But
> we will be at either the dance studio or hospital our both. Unseasonably
> hot temps coming our way. But really we've had no summer.
>

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> i would never be comfortable spending that kind of money on something
>> that just keeps you dry... truth be told there are some here much more
>> than that, but i have never been interested in more than dry and having
>> hygene needs met, i would rather spend money on other things, nothing
>> wrong with having that much house if that is your focus, just insane to
>> me... i can do a lot of travelling for that kind of cash... housing
>> really is ymmv, Lee
>
> I agree, housing is like a car to me. The car to get from A to B, the
> house to be comfortable. My current house is a bit below par but certainly
> liveable. The house next door which is similar is up for sale for
> $379,000. Everywhere I have lived in the past 12 years has been an area
> where $500,000+ is the norm.
>
> I divorced my first husband in 1986 and about 5-6 years ago he sold our
> home for 1.2 million. 3 bedroom full brick, Federation home, master built
> by his grandfather but needing work. It was on 3/4 of an acre in Sydney
> suburbia so that's what shot the price up. 1 bathroom with a toilet in the
> bathroom and one toilet outside.

I am not into fancy houses. My husband has a friend whose house we visited
when they were married. They have since bought another house (haven't seen
that) and are divorced. The house to me was not livable at all. The colors
were white, beige, pale sage green and black leather furniture. The
decorations they had looked lovely but didn't seem to fit with them at all.

Then I went into Bed Bath and Beyond. And I was like... Oh! This is like
walking into their house! Clearly they picked it all up in one trip and
just went with it.

I do not buy something just because I think it would look nice on the wall
or coffee table or whatever. I only buy things that I like and I don't care
if other people don't like them.

I do have a Dutalier rocking chair that I purchased when I had Angela. It
is on its third set of cushions. When I bought it, I knew it would last.
Yes, it was expensive for a rocking chair but I could afford it then. It is
really the only nice piece of furniture we have in the house.

Two of our mattresses are very good quality but quite old. So old they
should probably be replaced, but we can't afford to.

When we moved in, I didn't bother to paint or change the wallpaper even
though I really dislike the wallpaper. The painted walls are fine with me.
I usually dislike colored walls. I don't mind it if they are a really pale
color. Like just a tinge of pink in the white. And our apartment in NY was
painted a light buttercream. I actually liked that.

Painting and wallpapering are just too much work. Yes, I know there will
come a time when they will have to be redone. But in the meantime I am
making what we have work. I learned to do this years ago from a friend of
mine. She said if you go with what colors you have in the house, the house
will look nice. I know too many people who don't do this and will buy
things like furniture and bedspreads in the colors they like even though
they clash with the carpet or walls. To me that look doesn't work either.

When I am at home I spend all of my sitting time in my computer chair. I
rarely ever sit anywhere else. So it's a good quality chair. Looks like
crap. Had a tiny hole in it when I bought it. And I scraped the arms up
trying to get it into the house. I could get no help from anyone. It was
raining hard and it's a leather chair. So I wanted to get it inside
quickly. And since then Jazzy has been using it as a claw sharpener. But
it is comfortable and the right color for this room. So that's all that
really matters to me.

I would like to have a house with plenty of storage space. Livable storage
space. Yes we have that 400 sq. foot back house but it is not feasible to
have to go back there all the time. Fine for the holiday stuff and even
summer stuff. But not every day stuff.

I would like to have a much larger kitchen with more counter space, a pantry
and maybe even an island. I've never had an island so I don't know for
sure.

But I did manage to live for several years in an apartment with a 3 foot
piece of counter, and no cupboards at all. And I've managed to live in
motels with very little at all.

and your life would have been easier, as if the dishwasher dies, you just
call the super... and bitch at him instead of the dh or kid, so everyone
wins... Lee
"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Cheri" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> had we to do it over, we would have rented and banked the difference,
>>>> that would have really allowed for a lot more travel, Lee
>>>
>>> We bought our house late in life, and now I wish we had just kept
>>> renting. New roofs, and many upgrades aren't cheap, and moving on in
>>> retirement isn't all that easy with a house to sell, especially in this
>>> market. :-)
>>
>> I don't know where my husband got this idea from but he thought he could
>> buy a house and make a ton of money by selling it in a few years. Nobody
>> could talk him out of that notion. I am sick of this house and all of
>> its problems.
>
> He is not alone in thinking like that. There are more than a few companies
> out there giving people that idea. What he could have saved in interest
> could have been used for so many things You don't buy a house for
> $100,000 and sell at $200,00 for $100,000 profit. You buy a house at
> $100,000 PLUS interest. The profit margin is a hell of a lot smaller when
> viewed that way. If he had paid all that interest into his defence super
> plan he would have been bucket loads ahead at retirement time.

get used to it, she is facing losing control and will fight you even when
you are right, and given the combative nature of your family dynamics it
might even be worse... Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>>
>>>>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>>>>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
>>>>>>> every
>>>>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take
>>>>>>> home 1/2
>>>>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a
>>>>>>> soft
>>>>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
>>>>>>> are
>>>>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at
>>>>>>> home the
>>>>>>> : next day.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>>>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> : kate
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches
>>>>>>> for a
>>>>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house
>>>>>>> 5 das
>>>>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>>>>>> mother
>>>>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> computer.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Wendy
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>>>>>> know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>>>>>> restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance,
>>>>>> frozen and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale
>>>>>> meals and typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on
>>>>>> wheels options.
>>>>>
>>>>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they
>>>>> live. But I know they would never eat that. Between all their dietary
>>>>> issues and pickiness it would never work.
>>>>
>>>> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options though.
>>>> The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole lifestyle.
>>>> Its too late to say they should have thought these things out a long
>>>> time ago though. I used to care for a man who had a stroke, his wife is
>>>> a well known author. They lived not all that far from me but on acres
>>>> in this wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look after him and write as
>>>> well so she got a nursing service in to do all his personal needs stuff
>>>> twice a day. She also hired a woman who came in and cooked fabulous
>>>> meals a few times a week. They didn't need to be frozen as she was
>>>> there often enough. She would also do a bit of basic housework as well.
>>>> It worked for them. I have tried online shopping a couple of times,
>>>> didn't like it as much as going to the supermarket myself but that is
>>>> workable. You could order for them if they choose that path.
>>>
>>> I found out tonight that most likely he will not be allowed to drive for
>>> 6 months. He is doing quite well in some ways but there are some memory
>>> issues. We were told this will most likely get better.
>>>
>>> I told the person who was working with him that my mom doesn't like to
>>> cook (she took offense to this) and that they normally go out to eat,
>>> which they do. I also told her that he doesn't know how to cook much,
>>> which he doesn't. So she said they would put him in the kitchen and
>>> teach him how to cook a few things. My mom seemed a bit horrified at
>>> this and said he was capable of getting his own cereal and making eggs
>>> if he wanted them. And that she could cook but didn't because *he*
>>> liked to go out to eat. I am not sure how much truth there is in this
>>> at all. Frankly I don't think so.
>>>
>>> Yes, I know they both like to go out to eat and always have. But I
>>> think it is more a matter of her not wanting to cook over the years and
>>> her being so limited as to what she will cook.
>>>
>>> I guess we will just have to see how that goes. Personally I don't
>>> think she should be allowed to drive but they did just renew her license
>>> in May. She is very stubborn and will fight me tooth and nail if I try
>>> to do the shopping for them (which I likely could not because she is
>>> super picky about brands and things) or even drive them to the store.
>>> She hates to shop and worse yet she and my dad hate to go shopping with
>>> me! I like to go up and down every aisle looking for new products and if
>>> I am going to buy something I read the label. That is not how she shops.
>>> Although my dad does like to look for new things and will frequently
>>> pick up things that catch his eye that are not on the list.
>>>
>>> I may have to drive them to some Drs. appointments and such. My SIL has
>>> her hands full with her own parents who are older than mine. And my
>>> nephew is now back in college and baby-sits his girlfriend's nieces and
>>> nephews in his spare time. So that kind of just leaves me.
>>
>> Dunno how it works there but here, in this situation, a social worker
>> would come and talk to the patient and spouse/carer to make sure
>> everything is going to be ok when the patient is discharged. If someone
>> other than you can do all the talking that your mum hates it might have a
>> better effect. Eventually your mum will realise she has to "give" on a
>> few things.
>
> Someone did come in and talk while my mom was out of the room. Then she
> came back and pretty much said that everything I said was wrong. Gah!
>

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>>> Tiger > wrote:
>>
>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home
>>> 1/2
>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
>>> the
>>> : next day.
>>>
>>> : i didn't define elderly
>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
>>>
>>> : kate
>>>
>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5
>>> das
>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>>> mother
>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
>>> computer.
>>>
>>> Wendy
>>
>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>> know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>> restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance, frozen
>> and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale meals and
>> typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on wheels options.
>
> There are some really nice frozen meals delivered to the door and they
> would be cheaper than restaurant meals too. My aunt was laid up with a
> broken leg for a while and she is an avid cook, never makes a thing out of
> a packet. I have loved going to her house all my life Anyway she had to
> get some frozen meals in (they weren't the diet plan type). A small
> independent company that made realistic meals, not a thin slice of meat, 3
> peas and a tablespoon of rice and 90% of the weight of the meal as a
> sauce, lol).

They might eat a frozen meal once in a while but usually they won't.

denyal issues are a big issue when dealing with eldery parents, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "W. Baker" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Tiger Lily > wrote:
>> : On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
>> : > Tiger > wrote:
>>
>> : > : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
>> every
>> : > : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take
>> home 1/2
>> : > : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
>> : > : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs
>> are
>> : > : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home
>> the
>> : > : next day.
>> : >
>> : > : i didn't define elderly
>> : > : he's 102 and she's 97
>> : >
>> : > : kate
>> : >
>> : > Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for
>> a
>> : > small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house
>> 5 das
>> : > a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
>> mother
>> : > could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
>> : > computer.
>> : >
>> : > Wendy
>>
>> : Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
>> : know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
>> : restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance, frozen
>> : and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale meals
>> and
>> : typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on wheels options.
>>
>> : kate
>>
>> In the very rural Margateville area there is a senior feeding program at
>> the local Methodist church(not church run, but gov't run) it has a luch
>> program for those who can travel or be bussed there and home delivered
>> meals for those who are homebound. Menus issues monthly-no choice, but
>> very inexpensive and standard institutional nutritions. Many of the town
>> have a similar program in Delaware county. Judging from the number of
>> food stores that Julie seems to have available at less than 50 miles
>> away,
>> I would say that her area is far less rural than Delaware County.
>
> My parents live in a suburb of Seattle with pretty much all they might
> need except perhaps for some medical specialists which is why he was
> transferred to that specific hospital. There is a grocery store within
> walking distance from their house. Also some restaurants but for the most
> part not ones they would eat in. There is a Subway. My dad likes it. My
> mom does not. My dad can not walk very far. My mom can, but given her
> macular degeneration I feel it would be unsafe for her to go out on her
> own. She knows that she has it, but seems to be in severe denial about
> how bad it is. She still seems to think that what she sees (or doesn't
> see) is what everyone else sees.
>
> When my dad was driving she would yell at him for jerking the car around
> having no clue that he had actually changed to another lane. When we
> would tell her that he did she would either say that she didn't know or
> that he really hadn't done that.
>
> Once I commented on a woman's green eye shadow (she was totally dressed in
> green) and my mom tried to tell me that I couldn't see the woman's eyes.
> But I clearly could.
>