I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
Maybe it's just not made??

I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!

But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.

I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.

Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.

So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)

I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)

Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
over fireplaces!!

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!
>

Grilling is pretty messy in terms of vaporized grease & meat juice that
lands everywhere. Is your apartment in a city, or is it suburban, with some
common grass area outside? Any chance of using a very small gas grill out
there?

wrote:

> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less!

Ya know, there're just some things that are meant to be done outside. :-)

--
Dave
www.davebbq.com

wrote:
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!


Theres a pretty good reason why you aren't finding anything. Grilling is
messy and smoky and unless you have an appropriate area with super good
appropriate venting it is best done outside.

>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!
>

> wrote:
>I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
>But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
>temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
>things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
>or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
>I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
>just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
>some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.

The butane-powered grills you find at Asian grocery stores work fine.
We make Shanghai Hot Pot on them all the time. Apparently, they're
officially known as "camp" stoves, "for use outdoors". Bah.

The adiabatic expansion of the butane as it leaves the pressurized
cannister (a dollar or two a can; each can lasts half an hour to an hour,
depending on how hot you're cooking) cools the can down, so when you
take the can out, it's like 35-40 degrees F. The entire bottom part
of the stove is similarly cool. Totally safe indoors, as long as your
ventilation is sufficient.

If you can't find any locally, search for "butane portable stove" on
froogle or something. You should be able to get one for $20 or less,
shipped. Sporting goods stores should have the fuel (liquefied butane
cannisters), if you can't find them at Asian supermarkets or restaurant
supply stores.

Donald

wrote:
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??

Don't forget to include in your research the hazards of using gas or
charcoal grills indoors. Include "carbon monoxide poisoning" in your
search. People die every winter from using gas and charcoal indoors
with too little ventilation. The "industrial strength fan" you mention
may or may not be enough.
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
I'd go for the pan broiling technique instead. Use a cast iron
skillet, or better yet get one of those cast iron skillets with ridges.
Get it quite hot, sear the steak for a minute or two on each side
until it takes on a nice dark color, then turn the heat way down and
let it finish cooking. Remove the steak(s) to a plate and make a fast
pan sauce: turn the heat back up, toss in some minced shallots,
deglaze with a splash of wine (or vermouth or madeira or whisky) or
stock, finish with a good chunk of cold butter stirred in. This is so
good I do it even in the summertime as a change from the outdoor grill.
-aem

Donald Tsang wrote:

> The butane-powered grills you find at Asian grocery stores work fine.
> We make Shanghai Hot Pot on them all the time. Apparently, they're
> officially known as "camp" stoves, "for use outdoors". Bah.

And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on products
that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".

--
Dave
www.davebbq.com

wrote:
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.

It wouldn't be anything I'd do, but if you're set on it, go to a
WalMart or such and buy a camping stove - a Coleman 2-burner should do
the trick.

N.

On 4 Oct 2006 11:23:50 -0700, "aem" > wrote:

>Get it quite hot, sear the steak for a minute or two on each side
>until it takes on a nice dark color, then turn the heat way down and
>let it finish cooking. Remove the steak(s) to a plate and make a fast
>pan sauce

Brennan's of New Orleans, (Commodore's Palace, etal) use this method
all the time. Hot cast iron skillet....brown well on both sides.
Finish in 350F oven. Perfect every time.

We sat at the Chef's table with Commodore's Palace and I have
witnessed this method repeated all evening. Works like a charm
and allows all types of sauces to be applied.

Maybe the OP's family can post the obituary listing cause of death as
carbon monoxide poisoning.

Cooking indoors with gas or fire (except with a fireplace) is extremely
dangerous and can kill you. On gas stoves they recommend that you use an
exhaust fan.

wrote:
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!
>

"Glenn" > wrote in message
om...
> Cooking indoors with gas or fire (except with a fireplace) is extremely
> dangerous and can kill you. On gas stoves they recommend that you use an
> exhaust fan.

Regular gas stoves? That's some recommendation, since the so-called "exhaust
fan" in most homes does nothing but hoist the air right back into the room.

wrote:
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.

Nope, NO company is stupid enough to tell you to use a grill indoors
(unless you spend BIG money and have something like a professional
cooktop grill installed with it's vent hood and extinguisher system)


>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.

Then learn how the broiler in the oven works.

>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)

And find a new place to live. The fumes/smoke alone will be enough to
trip the smoke alarms.

>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!
>


--
Steve W.

----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Unrestricted-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+ Newsgroups
----= East and West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption =----

no brainier...long ago while in college, trying to impress the coed while
snow was on the ground....a hibachi cooking streaks in the fireplace ....now
days the coed my wife, we cook steaks over oak logs with the heavy cast iron
grate from the smoker.....




> wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!
>

"Steve W." > wrote in message
...
> wrote:
>> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
>> Maybe it's just not made??
>>
>> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>>
>> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
>> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
>> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
>> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
They have them in the cafeteria at work and use them 2-3 times a week.
Portable single-burner gas powered cooktops, big enough for a 12" skillet.
Fuels is butane bottles the size of big spray cans. Probably absurdly
expensive to buy and keep fueled, but I'm sure any restraunt supply has them
or can get them. They do tend to stink up the place, however, even with
window cracked and ceiling exhaust fans going.

Check behind your stove, and see if maybe there is an abandoned gas valve
there. Used gas stoves are dirt cheap.

aems ends....

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
....snip....
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>

I once used a charcoal grill indoors. It was a nice litle cast iron job that
had a good heat and was small enough to start outside and carry in once it
was going. I put it on the stove so I could use the rangehood to exhaust
the fumes, smoke etc, outside the house. It worked really well and I was
just taking the steaks off and serving when the inards of the ranghood
collapsed over everything. The fibre filter was held in place inside the SS
mesh cover by these stiff plastc struts. The excess heat had softened them
and they dumped the lot.

David

wrote:
> []
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>[ . . . ]
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)

http://www.amazon.com/Hibachi/dp/B0000SW0UU

--
Nick. Support severely wounded and disabled Veterans and their families!

Thank a Veteran and Support Our Troops. You are not forgotten. Thanks ! ! !
~Semper Fi~

> wrote:
>
>I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
>But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
>temperatures.

Any electric element that can glow red is doing well
in excess of 1000 degrees.

Get a cast-iron grill pan, preheat it well, and start
the steak from room temperature.

After a few steaks you'll have adjusted the times
and temperatures to your liking.

--Blair

wrote:

> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!

===
Go to this web site, Camping World. They cater to the recreational vehicle
folks (RV for short) and have all kinds of small table top grills.
http://www.campingworld.com/index.cfm

Ray
Austin, TX
===

I just thought I'd point out that in many cities it's against the law or zoning
regulations to even store a gas cylinder in an apartment, let alone use it. In
many places, this applies to balconies as well.

So you might be risking having your lease terminated if you decide on propane or
LG.

In some cities, this applies to charcoal fires as well.

-- Larry

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 14:27:40 GMT, "Ray S. & Nayda Katzaman"
> wrote:

>Go to this web site, Camping World. They cater to the recreational vehicle
>folks (RV for short) and have all kinds of small table top grills.
>http://www.campingworld.com/index.cfm

There's a reason grills on that site are listed under "Outside Your
RV."

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!
>
As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
than an upside down grill."
The only thing you won't get is a crosshatch pattern on the meat. If you'd
like a crosshatch pattern burnt into your steak, go purchase a hunk of steel
diamond grate and heat it in the broiler as the broiler heats up. A steel
diamond grate has a pattern similar to a chain link fence. Why grill
manufacturers don't use a diamond pattern for their grill grates is beyond
me. Everybody wants that diamond pattern on grilled meat, then they have to
turn the steaks and cook them to long on each side to get it.
Place your meat on the broiler pan and place the hot diamond grate on top.
When you flip the meat, flip the grate. The result is a steak that appears
to have been grilled outdoors.

"JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote in message
...
> "Glenn" > wrote in message
> om...
> > Cooking indoors with gas or fire (except with a fireplace) is extremely
> > dangerous and can kill you. On gas stoves they recommend that you use an
> > exhaust fan.
>
> Regular gas stoves? That's some recommendation, since the so-called
"exhaust
> fan" in most homes does nothing but hoist the air right back into the
room.
>
>
For an exhaust fan to work properly you have to crack open a window. It's
that simple.

On Wed, 4 Oct 2006 11:27:45 -0700, "Dave Bugg" >
wrote:

>Donald Tsang wrote:
>
>> The butane-powered grills you find at Asian grocery stores work fine.
>> We make Shanghai Hot Pot on them all the time. Apparently, they're
>> officially known as "camp" stoves, "for use outdoors". Bah.
>
>And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on products
>that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".

For all the good those suppositories did me, I met as well have stuck
them up my ass.




Been waiting years for an opportunity to use that.

--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net

Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997

email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
care to correspond with you anyway.

"Muddle" > wrote in message
et...
>
> > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>>
>> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
>> Maybe it's just not made??
>>
>> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>>
>> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
>> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
>> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
>> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>>
>> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
>> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
>> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>>
>> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
>> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
>> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>>
>> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
>> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
>> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>>
>> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>>
>> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
>> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
>> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
>> over fireplaces!!
>>
> As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
> than an upside down grill."
> The only thing you won't get is a crosshatch pattern on the meat. If
> you'd
> like a crosshatch pattern burnt into your steak, go purchase a hunk of
> steel
> diamond grate and heat it in the broiler as the broiler heats up. A steel
> diamond grate has a pattern similar to a chain link fence. Why grill
> manufacturers don't use a diamond pattern for their grill grates is beyond
> me. Everybody wants that diamond pattern on grilled meat, then they have
> to
> turn the steaks and cook them to long on each side to get it.
> Place your meat on the broiler pan and place the hot diamond grate on top.
> When you flip the meat, flip the grate. The result is a steak that
> appears
> to have been grilled outdoors.


I've got one of these, which works nicely for the diamond pattern:
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/prod...1&SKU=13844518

I only used it that way once because of the spattered grease, but it DOES
work, and it's a nice solid product. The other side's flat, for pancakes.
And, it's perfect for defrosting frozen food. Remember the TV ads for the
"miracle aluminum thing that defrosts food in no time at all"? That was just
a useless hunk of aluminum. This is a hunk with more than one purpose.

"Muddle" > wrote in message
et...
>
> "JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Glenn" > wrote in message
>> om...
>> > Cooking indoors with gas or fire (except with a fireplace) is extremely
>> > dangerous and can kill you. On gas stoves they recommend that you use
>> > an
>> > exhaust fan.
>>
>> Regular gas stoves? That's some recommendation, since the so-called
> "exhaust
>> fan" in most homes does nothing but hoist the air right back into the
> room.
>>
>>
> For an exhaust fan to work properly you have to crack open a window. It's
> that simple.
>
>

I'm talking about the typical range hoods you see in so many kitchens. They
take smoke or steam from the stove and do nothing but shoot it over your
head back into the room. Useless. Opening a window will do nothing.

LRod <duckecho@gmail-dot-com> wrote:
>>And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on products
>>that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".
>
>For all the good those suppositories did me, I met as well have stuck
>them up my ass.
>
>Been waiting years for an opportunity to use that.

Next time, take a second to proofread!

--
Steven O'Neill
Brooklyn, NY

"JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote in message
...
> "Muddle" > wrote in message
> et...
> >
> > > wrote in message
> > oups.com...
> >>
> >> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> >> Maybe it's just not made??
> >>
> >> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
> >>
> >> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> >> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> >> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> >> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> >> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
> >>
> >> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> >> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> >> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
> >>
> >> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> >> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> >> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
> >>
> >> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> >> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> >> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
> >>
> >> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
> >>
> >> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> >> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> >> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> >> over fireplaces!!
> >>
> > As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
> > than an upside down grill."
> > The only thing you won't get is a crosshatch pattern on the meat. If
> > you'd
> > like a crosshatch pattern burnt into your steak, go purchase a hunk of
> > steel
> > diamond grate and heat it in the broiler as the broiler heats up. A
steel
> > diamond grate has a pattern similar to a chain link fence. Why grill
> > manufacturers don't use a diamond pattern for their grill grates is
beyond
> > me. Everybody wants that diamond pattern on grilled meat, then they
have
> > to
> > turn the steaks and cook them to long on each side to get it.
> > Place your meat on the broiler pan and place the hot diamond grate on
top.
> > When you flip the meat, flip the grate. The result is a steak that
> > appears
> > to have been grilled outdoors.
>
>
> I've got one of these, which works nicely for the diamond pattern:
> http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/prod...1&SKU=13844518
>
> I only used it that way once because of the spattered grease, but it DOES
> work, and it's a nice solid product. The other side's flat, for pancakes.
> And, it's perfect for defrosting frozen food. Remember the TV ads for the
> "miracle aluminum thing that defrosts food in no time at all"? That was
just
> a useless hunk of aluminum. This is a hunk with more than one purpose.
>
>
A diamond pattern steel grate does not look like that, it looks like this.
http://click-onsource.com/metals/images/grate2.gif
To get a diamond pattern on meat with the product you posted, you'd have to
turn the meat after 5 min. by 45 degrees and cook it 5 more min. If I want
to cook a steak 5 min. on each side I can't get this device to put a
caramelized diamond pattern on it. You'd get that device at Bed Bath and
Beyond, the one I'm talking about comes from the nearest Welder and he uses
the welder to cut steak sized hunks off of a huge piece of diamond grate.
In essence this grate is being used as a branding iron, to brand the steaks
with a traditional grill diamond pattern while it's in the broiler, not on
top of a burner.

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
> wrote:

>As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
>than an upside down grill."

Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?

>>As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
>>than an upside down grill."
>
>Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
>cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?

I don't know about "most", not having any sales figures.

I do know that the least expensive stoves have a 'broiler' that just
burns the gas. These get reasonably hot, but probably don't broil
the way you'd like.

I spent a bit more on my stove and got one where the gas also heats
up a metal frame, to where it glows red. This broils just as well
as glowing red coals, or glowing red hot anything else. After some
testing, I've ajusted the hight of the rack I use (over a removable
pan to hold any drippings) so that about 2 1/2 minutes per side
does a thin steak or lamb chops to medium rare. That's probaly as
hot as anything you'd want to use at home.

"Muddle" > wrote in message
m...
>
> "JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Muddle" > wrote in message
>> et...
>> >
>> > > wrote in message
>> > oups.com...
>> >>
>> >> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
>> >> Maybe it's just not made??
>> >>
>> >> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>> >>
>> >> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
>> >> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
>> >> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the
>> >> table
>> >> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>> >> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>> >>
>> >> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
>> >> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't
>> >> buy
>> >> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>> >>
>> >> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared
>> >> grilling!
>> >> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
>> >> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>> >>
>> >> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
>> >> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
>> >> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>> >>
>> >> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>> >>
>> >> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
>> >> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
>> >> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
>> >> over fireplaces!!
>> >>
>> > As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing
>> > more
>> > than an upside down grill."
>> > The only thing you won't get is a crosshatch pattern on the meat. If
>> > you'd
>> > like a crosshatch pattern burnt into your steak, go purchase a hunk of
>> > steel
>> > diamond grate and heat it in the broiler as the broiler heats up. A
> steel
>> > diamond grate has a pattern similar to a chain link fence. Why grill
>> > manufacturers don't use a diamond pattern for their grill grates is
> beyond
>> > me. Everybody wants that diamond pattern on grilled meat, then they
> have
>> > to
>> > turn the steaks and cook them to long on each side to get it.
>> > Place your meat on the broiler pan and place the hot diamond grate on
> top.
>> > When you flip the meat, flip the grate. The result is a steak that
>> > appears
>> > to have been grilled outdoors.
>>
>>
>> I've got one of these, which works nicely for the diamond pattern:
>> http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/prod...1&SKU=13844518
>>
>> I only used it that way once because of the spattered grease, but it DOES
>> work, and it's a nice solid product. The other side's flat, for pancakes.
>> And, it's perfect for defrosting frozen food. Remember the TV ads for the
>> "miracle aluminum thing that defrosts food in no time at all"? That was
> just
>> a useless hunk of aluminum. This is a hunk with more than one purpose.
>>
>>
> A diamond pattern steel grate does not look like that, it looks like this.
> http://click-onsource.com/metals/images/grate2.gif
> To get a diamond pattern on meat with the product you posted, you'd have
> to
> turn the meat after 5 min. by 45 degrees and cook it 5 more min. If I
> want
> to cook a steak 5 min. on each side I can't get this device to put a
> caramelized diamond pattern on it. You'd get that device at Bed Bath and
> Beyond, the one I'm talking about comes from the nearest Welder and he
> uses
> the welder to cut steak sized hunks off of a huge piece of diamond grate.
> In essence this grate is being used as a branding iron, to brand the
> steaks
> with a traditional grill diamond pattern while it's in the broiler, not on
> top of a burner.

That's all very nice. But, nobody eats the pattern, so I think most people
probably just want the steak cooked to their liking.

"Steven M. O'Neill" > wrote in message
...
> LRod <duckecho@gmail-dot-com> wrote:
> >>And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on
products
> >>that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".
> >
> >For all the good those suppositories did me, I met as well have stuck
> >them up my ass.
> >
> >Been waiting years for an opportunity to use that.
>
> Next time, take a second to proofread!
>
> --
> Steven O'Neill
> Brooklyn, NY

"ALL WATCHED OVER BY MACHINES OF LOVING GRACE"

I don't think that jokes a question of proofreading, it's predicated on the
failure to understanding the meaning of one word.
Speaking of pill popping whacks!
Richard Brautigan wrote:
"Every time I see you take the pill, I'm reminded of the Spring Hill Mine
collapse and all the people that have died inside of you."
If you read "The Pill Versus The Springhill Mine Disaster" you'll not find
that quote, it's in one of his other books.

"KARMA REPAIR KIT: ITEMS 1-4
1. Get enough food to eat,
And eat it.

2. Find a place to sleep where it is quiet,
and sleep there.

3. Reduce intellectual and emotional noise
until you arrive at the silence of yourself,
and listen to it.

4."

On Thu, 5 Oct 2006 15:41:24 +0000 (UTC), (Steven M.
O'Neill) wrote:

>LRod <duckecho@gmail-dot-com> wrote:
>>>And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on products
>>>that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".
>>
>>For all the good those suppositories did me, I met as well have stuck
>>them up my ass.
>>
>>Been waiting years for an opportunity to use that.
>
>Next time, take a second to proofread!

Well, I've taken several minutes pondering your statement, and I've
yet to figure out what I missed. The party to whom I was responding
made a comment about Preparation H, a topical treatment for
hemerrhoids (what ever happened to Preparation A through G, by the
way?).

Now, the comment he made was in the context of the ointment version of
the product, with the implication of external application, but it also
comes in suppositories. I don't know if I need to explain that or not
(and as a matter of fact, the ointment can be applied internally with
the use of an applicator).

Now perhaps I should have included the setup to the punchline which
involves a dull-witted patient complaining of lack of effect with the
product he had been taking orally.

Spelling seems all okay, as does punctuation. I can't even conjure
much of a link between my first statement and my second. Beyond that,
I'm lost. Someone's going to have to explain it to me.

Meanwhile, I'm still laughing.


--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net

Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997

email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
care to correspond with you anyway.

"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
> > wrote:
>
> >As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
> >than an upside down grill."
>
> Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
> cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?
>
Ovens have slots to move the food being broiled closer to the flame or
barring that purchase a stack of garden variety terracotta to move the food
even closer.
It doesn't take a $100,000 dollar Food Network Kitchen makeover, sponsored
by Lowes or Home Depot to produce good food. I wouldn't let any of those
three entities into my home. Rachael Ray's voice sounds like chalk grating
on a slab of slate and her recipes taste exactly like chalk grating on a
slab of slate. I can't believe that stupid bitch has a major network TV
show. Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
to feed all fifty people who make sure I don't have to move more than ten
feet to cook a 30 min. meal.
If I had a variety of prep cooks, prep video whores and dish washers my
meals would be spectacularly mediocre just like hers are. She often states
she's bad about burning bread she wants to toast in the broiler. Have you
ever seen her do it? Why, because she's got fifty idiots making sure she
doesn't. I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver
than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
afterwards. I'd like to see her on the next four episodes of Iron Chef
getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter by every other food
network star.
Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale. Christ, you can smoke salmon
with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
under your neighbors pecan tree.

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 17:23:58 GMT, "Muddle"
> wrote:

>
>"Steven M. O'Neill" > wrote in message
...
>> LRod <duckecho@gmail-dot-com> wrote:
>> >>And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on
>products
>> >>that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".
>> >
>> >For all the good those suppositories did me, I met as well have stuck
>> >them up my ass.
>> >
>> >Been waiting years for an opportunity to use that.
>>
>> Next time, take a second to proofread!
>>
>> --
>> Steven O'Neill
>> Brooklyn, NY
>
>"ALL WATCHED OVER BY MACHINES OF LOVING GRACE"
>
>I don't think that jokes a question of proofreading, it's predicated on the
>failure to understanding the meaning of one word.

You mean as in, "it's pronounced annal-gesic, not anal-gesic. You're
supposed to take it by mouth."?


--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net

Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997

email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
care to correspond with you anyway.

On 4-Oct-2006, wrote:

> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!

Tfhis will do it for you. Lots of seering capability for steaks. Cost is
about US$300.

http://www.rasmussen.biz/grills/portG.html

--
Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)

On 4-Oct-2006, "JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote:

> "Glenn" > wrote in message
> om...
> > Cooking indoors with gas or fire (except with a fireplace) is extremely
> > dangerous and can kill you. On gas stoves they recommend that you use an
> >
> > exhaust fan.
>
> Regular gas stoves? That's some recommendation, since the so-called
> "exhaust
> fan" in most homes does nothing but hoist the air right back into the
> room.

"Most" might be the operative word, but mine, at least, is vented through
the roof. Indoor grilling on a castiron grill pan over a strong gas burner
works pretty well. But it produces a lot of smoke and other airborne
polutants. I do it anyway as I usually cook only a single steak. It doesn't
take long and avoids the aggravating startup of my outdoor charcoal grill.

--
Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:20:33 GMT, "Muddle"
> wrote:

>
>"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in message
.. .
>> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
>> > wrote:
>>
>> >As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
>> >than an upside down grill."
>>
>> Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
>> cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?
>>
>Ovens have slots to move the food being broiled closer to the flame or
>barring that purchase a stack of garden variety terracotta to move the food
>even closer.

Thanks for the news flash. I assure you that my comment takes into
account the design features of most modern ovens; it appears that only
you find these design features remarkable enough to bring them
explicitly into the discussion.

>It doesn't take a $100,000 dollar Food Network Kitchen makeover, sponsored
>by Lowes or Home Depot to produce good food. I wouldn't let any of those
>three entities into my home.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were done with this particular lecture. I
now see you're just getting warmed up. Should we be taking notes? How
much of this stuff will be on the mid-term?

>Rachael Ray's voice sounds like chalk grating
>on a slab of slate and her recipes taste exactly like chalk grating on a
>slab of slate. I can't believe that stupid bitch has a major network TV
>show. Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
>the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hold that thought, please.

>to feed all fifty people who make sure I don't have to move more than ten
>feet to cook a 30 min. meal.
>If I had a variety of prep cooks, prep video whores and dish washers my
>meals would be spectacularly mediocre just like hers are. She often states
>she's bad about burning bread she wants to toast in the broiler. Have you
>ever seen her do it? Why, because she's got fifty idiots making sure she
>doesn't. I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver
>than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
>hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
>meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
>and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

>MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
^^^^

You don't really know what that acronym stands for, do you?

>afterwards. I'd like to see her on the next four episodes of Iron Chef
>getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter by every other food
>network star.
>Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
>mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale.

How true. I know I would be lost without my 16-penny nails, a box of
used infant clothes, a toilet plunger, an exercise bike, and a
waterbed.

Christ, you can smoke salmon
>with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
>under your neighbors pecan tree.
>

Back to your charming description of Ms. Ray: Bitter much? How long
has your divorce been final?

This post is cross posted. Your Reply appears to be targeted to one or more
newsgroups who may not have received the subject of your response.
I often strip out rec.food.cooking,nyc.food,misc.consumers.house when I post
and target individuals.
Your post is a joke, it's hard to understand how someone might not get it.
Mine are usually rants and I to often find it hard to understand how others
just don't get them.
One thing I've found that helps, If your telling what you think is a joke to
those less well off than you are, it will be received well. They'd rather
laugh than cry. If they have more money that you do, especially if they're
funds are often perceived as ill gotten, the joke will be interpreted
poorly.

"LRod" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 5 Oct 2006 15:41:24 +0000 (UTC), (Steven M.
> O'Neill) wrote:
>
> >LRod <duckecho@gmail-dot-com> wrote:
> >>>And people wonder why manufacturers have to put warning stickers on
products
> >>>that say things like: "Preperation H is for external use only".
> >>
> >>For all the good those suppositories did me, I met as well have stuck
> >>them up my ass.
> >>
> >>Been waiting years for an opportunity to use that.
> >
> >Next time, take a second to proofread!
>
> Well, I've taken several minutes pondering your statement, and I've
> yet to figure out what I missed. The party to whom I was responding
> made a comment about Preparation H, a topical treatment for
> hemerrhoids (what ever happened to Preparation A through G, by the
> way?).
>
> Now, the comment he made was in the context of the ointment version of
> the product, with the implication of external application, but it also
> comes in suppositories. I don't know if I need to explain that or not
> (and as a matter of fact, the ointment can be applied internally with
> the use of an applicator).
>
> Now perhaps I should have included the setup to the punchline which
> involves a dull-witted patient complaining of lack of effect with the
> product he had been taking orally.
>
> Spelling seems all okay, as does punctuation. I can't even conjure
> much of a link between my first statement and my second. Beyond that,
> I'm lost. Someone's going to have to explain it to me.
>
> Meanwhile, I'm still laughing.
>
>
> --
> LRod
>
> Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
>
> Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
>
> http://www.woodbutcher.net
>
> Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997
>
> email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
> If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
> care to correspond with you anyway.

"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in

> >and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
>
> >MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
> ^^^^
>
> You don't really know what that acronym stands for, do you?

Milkers I'd Like to Fondle?

--oTTo--

Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:20:33 GMT, "Muddle"
> > wrote:
>
>>Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
>>the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Hold that thought, please.
>
>
>>I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver

And his freakishly ginormous tongue!

>>than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
>>hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
>>meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
>>and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Yeah. How dare the eeevil whore not have hummense tits and skinny
hips, not to mention that wimmins (and their boobies) should be seen
and not heard.

>>Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
>>mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale.

Mmmm. Angle brackets tartare!

>>with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
>>under your neighbors pecan tree.

You should probably leave your neighbors' limbs alone, as they
probably aren't finished with them. Also, the smoke from burning
human flesh will not make your salmon "delicious." Pretty much the
opposite, in fact. Also, too, as well, your kink is NOT OKAY, and
is likely illegal in your city/state/country. I'm just sayin'...

--
Shelly (Warning: see label for details)
http://www.cat-sidh.net (the Mother Ship)
http://esther.cat-sidh.net (Letters to Esther)