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soņando
 
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Default What do airlines put in their food???

Stanley wrote:


> Just flew back home on United this sunday and I haven't been able to
> stop shitting for three days! What the hell was in that chicken? I'm
> getting these real sticky messy shits that come in waves, everytime I
> think I'm done and I start wipe down comes another avalanche. Then I
> just wipe and wipe and wipe but my ass is still dirty. I've gone
> through about 20 Charmin *double* rolls in three days. And the farts,
> they can be heard like ten houses down. I'm farting nonstop when I'm
> not shitting, and I'm shitting when I'm not farting. The wife and the
> dog won't come near me. Yesterday night we were watching tv and I let
> out this deafening ship's horn type fart that rattled the walls and
> shook the furniture. It felt like the titanic was about to come out
> my ass so I ran to the toilet and sure enough, I gave birth to the
> most humongous turd I've ever seen in my life. That thing must have
> been at least 19" long. I felt like I'd just delivered septuplets
> through my ass! Next time I fly I think I'll order the kosher meal.




Did you read the magazine in the back pocket? It's only changed once a
month unless it's torn or worn. If you travel at the end of the month
you're getting a lot of vermin off the pages...it's been to the toilet
maybe ten times with 60 different users that month.

The trays on the back of seats have been analyzed and found to contain
even more bacteria than the toilets, so maybe the magazine rested on the
tray as well.