"SuperMarket Me" - A documentary on my health problems from eating at
the supermarket.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Jan 27, 2004

I coducted a study of the effects of eating food only from American
supermarkets. The piece is intended to reveal the nature of the
problem of obesity in America.

Over the thirty day period my health deteriorated rapidly. My
cholesterol went up by 59 points, I had problems with my vision, I was
depressed and vomiting, I lost confidence in myself, and I considered
becoming a woman.

The documentary reveals the source of the health problems in America:
fatty foods, sugar-rich foods, insufficient vegetables, mentholyptus,
and mints. The result of eating these foods caused my blood pressure
to increase by 14 pounds per square inch. By the third day, the
vomiting I endured was so frequent and spontaneous that people called
me "projectile boy".

I am submitting my 184 minute feature production to the Cannes Film
Festival, in the hopes that it will get noticed big directors like
Steven Speilberg, James Cameron, Raymond Martino, and Nacho Vidal.

Oh by the way, I only ate corned beef, heavy cream, butter, kosher
salt, and sudafed. But it was all purchased from American
supermarkets. I call it "The American Supermarket Diet".



Does it seem like crappy logic to anyone else? McDonalds has salads,
parfaits, the mclean burger, and probably other stuff I don't know
about because I never eat there myself. (I remember the salads were
actually very good.) You can eat only mcdonalds for thirty days and
end up looking even better than Jared.