View Single Post
  #7 (permalink)   Report Post  
Melba's Jammin'
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article .com>,
"Sheldon" > wrote:

> Monsur Fromage du Pollet wrote:
> > Melba's Jammin' > wrote in


> > > I'll prepare the breasts that way again, but may instead spread
> > > some salsa on top of at least his, if not mine.
> > >
> > > I put a picture on my website.


> > When I use panko I put a little mustard in the egg white...just a
> > thought.

>
> Yes, hot chinese, a good mustard plaster. And before the egg white
> wash I would have given Melba's breasts a caress with dusting flour,
> evening in paris of course... tweaks em so the panko sticks better. I
> also would have tsken my trusty mallet in hand to gently pound Barb's
> breasts to voluptuous tenderness... make em kinda flat like chicken
> mammogram diane. lol


Ohfercripesake! What's funny is that I just had my annual squash a
couple days ago. I've a feeling the procedure is more uncomfortable for
small-breasted women than for we who are not so. A couple years ago I
reported to Rob that the tech, while positioning the body parts in
discussion, kept referring it to it as "tissue." "OK, now I'm going to
move the tissue here." He laughed and said, "Don't you mean "tits-sue"?
Oy. He's so witty when he wants to be.

For you folks who don't know this poy-em, I offer this:
Ode to a Mammogram
(author unknown to me, it's been around for at least 30 years)
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Donıt ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law;
Guarded them very carefully,
And always wore a bra.

After 30 years of careful care,
The Doctor found a lump.
He ordered up a mammogram
To look inside that clump.

³Stand up very close,² she said,
As she got my tit in line.
³And tell me when it hurts,² she said,
³Ah, yes! There! Thatıs just fine!²

She stepped upon a pedal;
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing down;
My boob was in a vice!!

My skin was stretched and stretched
From way up by my chin,
And my poor tit was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin!!

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within its vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

³Take a deep breath,² she said to me.
Who does she think sheıs kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine,
I canıt breathe and woozy Iım getting.

³There, that was good,² I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
³Now, letıs get the other one.²
³Lord have mercy,² I was praying.

It squeezed me from the up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
Iıll bet sheıs never had this done
To her tender little hide!

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now....
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped -- KerPOW

This machine was made by a man,
Of this I have no doubt.
Iıd like to get his balls in there,
For months heıd go ³without.²!

Careful, Sheldon, I'm reaching for my mallet. It might be a KNEEjerk
reaction.
--
-Barb, <http://www.jamlady.eboard.com> Chutney Chicken pic added 4-1-05.
"I read recipes the way I read science fiction: I get to the end and
say,'Well, that's not going to happen.'" - Comedian Rita Rudner,
performance at New York, New York, January 10, 2005.