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Old 23-01-2015, 11:14 PM posted to
Janet Wilder[_4_] Janet Wilder[_4_] is offline
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Default On waffles, pancakes, and Laura Ingalls Wilder

On 1/23/2015 4:30 PM, Xeno wrote:
On 24/01/2015 7:54 AM, Kalmia wrote:
On Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 3:21:33 PM UTC-5, Bryan-TGWWW wrote:

Certainly, any man's man, any guy who
likes movies with car chases and explosions, and who, if they'd been
by the wife/GF to see The Fault In Our Stars, and would rather have a
canal than sit through that again would hate it.

I would hate to try to diagram that sentence. Kind of fractured,
huh? IF that's the style of your book...........AAAGGH.

I must admit, I would find myself tripping over the fractured grammar
and thus be unable to get immersed in the storyline. I do tutoring for
PhD students and I always get them to break up convoluted sentences like
that. I feel that writers must set standards.

You wouldn't believe some of the convoluted sentences I've had to
rewrite as an editor of manuscripts. There is, in literature at least,
a very fine line that the editor mustn't cross when rewriting an
author's work. It's very hard to maintain the author's voice when you
are rewriting a sentence to your own "ear".

From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas