"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
> Ozgirl > wrote:
>
>
> : "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> : >
> : > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
> : > they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
> : > out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
> : > I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
> : > to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
> : >
> : > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
> : > in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
> : > the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
> : > a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
> : > there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
> : > how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
> : > they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
> : > that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
> : >
> : > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> : > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
> : > BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
> : > tonight.
> : >
> : > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
> : > herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
> : > brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
> : > in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
> : > mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
> : > something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I
> : > do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
> : > matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't
> : > capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
> : > refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has
> : > my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
> : > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
> : > for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
> : > think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
> : > ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things involving
> : > the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
> : > brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
> : >
> : > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
> : > maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
> : > tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
> : >
> : > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>
> : Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
> : day?...
>
> Given this scenario , with your Mom, not likely to suddently start doing
> all these things. Is there a senior living place in the area, the kind
> where you live in an apartment and get meals and once a week cleaning and
> linen change? This migh tbe what they will have to think of, even if your
> father regains some mobility, etc. It is a big change and will, probably
> necessitate their selling their house in this bad markt or, at least
> renting it. Don't jump and say"never" r "they won't" etc. these kinds of
> things do become a reality after a shileunless one of you is prepared to
> have them move in with them, which can be EXTREMELY difficult.

There is one near us and they have refused to go. My mom said they can
never move out of their house. She isn't being reasonable on many fronts.
OTOH it is highly unlikely that their house would sell. They have 1 11/2
baths and the realtor said people do not want this. Now they want 2 full
baths.

Their house is paid off. So they only pay the taxes. There is no way they
could afford rent unless they could sell the house.