"Wavy G" > wrote in message
...
> 1) I got my bank card back from the bank (last night, in a drunken
> stupor, I left my card in the automated teller machine). Now I purchase
> consumer goods again! Hooray.

At least you don't leave cash laying about.


>
> 2) I had the best omelette I've ever had. I MADE IT MYSELF! I had some
> "ham" leftover from a family Christmas party last week, three eggs, and
> some American "cheese" in my electric icebox. So I thought to myself,
> "Wavy G, we have an opportunity, here. You know how you're always
> pining for omelettes, but you never do anything about it? Well, don't
> you see? It's all coming together! We can make an omelette NOW!!!" So
> I made it. The egg "flipping" part was a bit of a disaster. I cursed
> several times. However, the end result was so ****ing good, it more
> than made up for the struggle.

Remember to breathe when making eggs. You'll make less mistakes.

>
> 3) A retarded boy waved at me. I was out walking the dog, when the
> special needs school bus drove by. I stopped right at the edge of the
> road, and ratcheted up on the leash so the dog wouldn't dart out into
> the road, and stood there waiting for the bus to pass, when I saw a
> retarded boy, sitting in won of the seats, peering out the window and
> waving at me. It was won of those things that just warms your spirit,
> during this, the season of perpetual joy. (Of course, for all I know,
> he could have been waving at the tree stump behind me, but I'll give him
> the benefit of the doubt.)

Why didn't you wave back? Are you retarded?

Well anyway, have a wonderful holiday season and give the first greasy Paki
you see a nice big kiss!


>
> --
> "Memo to God: Last two things to do: (1) Cancel Wavy. (2) Turn out the
> lights."
> --Mimus submits a rewrite for the ending of The Bible.
>
>
> *****************************************
> * *
> * Wavy G *
> * mail me at: *
> * godsspeciallamb @ gmail.com *
> * *
> * *
> *****************************************