ROSALYN, N.M.--A survey of online auction sites reveals that images of Jesus Christ now appear
exclusively in whole wheat tortillas, and not the refined-flour tortillas that have hosted similar
miracles since the late 1970s.
Christ hasn't shown disfavor for any other kind of bread since the 'leaven of the Pharisees' in
approximately 30 AD.

"It's all part of Christ's work as a healer," said nutritionist and Catholic priest James Noyce.
"Now that whole-wheat tortillas are available everywhere, Jesus is helping the faithful to avoid
diabetes and heart disease."

The divine health kick is nothing new, according to Father Noyce. In the Gospels, Christ urged the
drinking of wine--which has been linked to significant reductions in coronary artery disease. The
Lord's enthusiasm for fish in the Bible also reveals, in Father Noyce's words, that "He is the
alpha, the omega, and the omega-3."

Church officials also acknowledge the symbolism of preserving the trinity of bran, germ, and
endosperm in whole wheat grains. One major supplier of consecrated breads--INRye, Inc.--now
produces whole-wheat Communion wafers low in animal 'Transubstantiation Fats.'

According to Father Noyce, the new wafers will allow slimmed-down congregations to enter Heaven, as
Jesus says, "by the narrow gate."

"The faithful can look forward to a real Transfiguration," he said.

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/stories/65

On Jan 26, 1:14 pm, "Eric Gisin" wrote:
ROSALYN, N.M.--A survey of online auction sites reveals that images of Jesus Christ now appear
exclusively in whole wheat tortillas, and not the refined-flour tortillas that have hosted similar
miracles since the late 1970s.
Christ hasn't shown disfavor for any other kind of bread since the 'leaven of the Pharisees' in
approximately 30 AD.

"It's all part of Christ's work as a healer," said nutritionist and Catholic priest James Noyce.
"Now that whole-wheat tortillas are available everywhere, Jesus is helping the faithful to avoid
diabetes and heart disease."

The divine health kick is nothing new, according to Father Noyce. In the Gospels, Christ urged the
drinking of wine--which has been linked to significant reductions in coronary artery disease. The
Lord's enthusiasm for fish in the Bible also reveals, in Father Noyce's words, that "He is the
alpha, the omega, and the omega-3."

Church officials also acknowledge the symbolism of preserving the trinity of bran, germ, and
endosperm in whole wheat grains. One major supplier of consecrated breads--INRye, Inc.--now
produces whole-wheat Communion wafers low in animal 'Transubstantiation Fats.'

According to Father Noyce, the new wafers will allow slimmed-down congregations to enter Heaven, as
Jesus says, "by the narrow gate."

"The faithful can look forward to a real Transfiguration," he said.

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/stories/65

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