This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers, as
depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees. At one time, these poignant vignettes were
inscribed on the backs of International Coffee tins. Today, they
remain no more. Only through the miracle of photocopy technology
-- and a fortuitous desk cleaning -- am I able to bring these
masterworks of product positioning free prose to you again.

Today's installment...Orange Cappuccino.

"It's dawn. The sun is just beginning its journey against the
pale blue sky. You savor having thee precious moments all to
yourself before the day really begins. It's your time. You hold
your favorite mug filled with creamy Orange Cappuccino close to
you as the steam gently warms your face. You inhale and slowly
sip this irresistible coffee. It's over all too soon. But that's
okay, there's always tomorrow."

--crymad

It makes me pay more attention when I realize that marketers are very
interested in telling me what my values should be...I am a sucker for
Levenger's catalogs though....

Melinda

--
"The country has entered an era in which
questions are not asked, for questions are
daughters of disquiet or arrogance, both
fruits of temptation and the food of sacrilege." Djaout
"crymad" wrote in message
...
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers, as
depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees. At one time, these poignant vignettes were
inscribed on the backs of International Coffee tins. Today, they
remain no more. Only through the miracle of photocopy technology
-- and a fortuitous desk cleaning -- am I able to bring these
masterworks of product positioning free prose to you again.

Today's installment...Orange Cappuccino.

"It's dawn. The sun is just beginning its journey against the
pale blue sky. You savor having thee precious moments all to
yourself before the day really begins. It's your time. You hold
your favorite mug filled with creamy Orange Cappuccino close to
you as the steam gently warms your face. You inhale and slowly
sip this irresistible coffee. It's over all too soon. But that's
okay, there's always tomorrow."

--crymad

It makes me pay more attention when I realize that marketers are very
interested in telling me what my values should be...I am a sucker for
Levenger's catalogs though....

Melinda

--
"The country has entered an era in which
questions are not asked, for questions are
daughters of disquiet or arrogance, both
fruits of temptation and the food of sacrilege." Djaout
"crymad" wrote in message
...
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers, as
depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees. At one time, these poignant vignettes were
inscribed on the backs of International Coffee tins. Today, they
remain no more. Only through the miracle of photocopy technology
-- and a fortuitous desk cleaning -- am I able to bring these
masterworks of product positioning free prose to you again.

Today's installment...Orange Cappuccino.

"It's dawn. The sun is just beginning its journey against the
pale blue sky. You savor having thee precious moments all to
yourself before the day really begins. It's your time. You hold
your favorite mug filled with creamy Orange Cappuccino close to
you as the steam gently warms your face. You inhale and slowly
sip this irresistible coffee. It's over all too soon. But that's
okay, there's always tomorrow."

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Cafe Francais.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it
gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house
and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You
smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais.
You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you
relax completely."

--crymad

crymad writes:

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Cafe Francais.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it
gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house
and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You
smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais.
You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you
relax completely."

And today's prize goes to the poster who transforms the above into
text suitable for a horror novel (e.g. Stephen King) with the fewest
changes.

/Lew
---
Lew Perin /
http://www.panix.com/~perin/babelcarp.html

Lewis Perin writes:

crymad writes:

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Cafe Francais.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it
gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house
and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You
smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais.
You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you
relax completely."

And today's prize goes to the poster who transforms the above into
text suitable for a horror novel (e.g. Stephen King) with the fewest
changes.

The following isn't from me; it's from Mike Petro, who is currently
unable to post directly to the NG (speaking of horror!)

The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it
gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house and
you can practically hear the screams rise from your cup. You cringe
in anticipation of the chemical harshness of Cafe Francais. You sip
and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you vomit
completely.

5 words changed

/Lew
---
Lew Perin /
http://www.panix.com/~perin/babelcarp.html

And here's another Petro-gram fresh from my incoming email:

This one was tougher .... 8 words changed

"It's dawn. The torment is just beginning its journey against the
pale blue sky. You abhor having these precious moments all to
yourself before the nightmare really begins. It's your turn. You
hold your suicide mug filled with creamy Orange Cappuccino close to
you as the steam gently warms your face. You inhale and slowly sip
this poisoned coffee. It's over none too soon. But that's okay,
there's no tomorrow."

/Lew
---
Lew Perin /
http://www.panix.com/~perin/babelcarp.html

yeh.. I was just thinking.. I don't really think of "relaxation" and
"coffee" together.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is washing the oil and
assorted crap down the gutters as you swerve onto the road, a cup of Cafe
Francais clutched between your legs. You settle into your car seat as the
morning sun blinds you and the freeway traffic comes to a standstill. You
cringe in anticipation of the monthly executive meeting that will take up
the first half of your day, then you squeeze the cup unconsciously and the
scalding hot liquid spills over your pressed pants and scalds your genitalia
as you scream in agony."

Lewis Perin wrote:

And today's prize goes to the poster who transforms the above
into text suitable for a horror novel (e.g. Stephen King) with
the fewest changes.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it
gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house
and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You
smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais.
You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you
realize completely that your life, your family, your friends, your
job, everything is nothing but lies you've been forced to swallow,
just like the phony tinned instant coffee you swallow now. Well,
no more. Tomorrow you buy tea. And a gun. You smile in
anticipation.

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Hazelnut Belgian Cafe.

"The first few stars twinkle flirtatiously. The sun settles in
for the night. Now it's your turn. You kick off your shoes and
unplug with Hazelnut Belgian Cafe. A rich, creamy coffee accented
with a glimmering hint of hazelnut flavor. Sip slowly as you
reflect upon the day's accomplishments. Even if all you did was
gaze at the stars."

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Hazelnut Belgian Cafe.

"The first few stars twinkle flirtatiously. The sun settles in
for the night. Now it's your turn. You kick off your shoes and
unplug with Hazelnut Belgian Cafe. A rich, creamy coffee accented
with a glimmering hint of hazelnut flavor. Sip slowly as you
reflect upon the day's accomplishments. Even if all you did was
gaze at the stars."

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Suisse Mocha.

"Every afternoon about the same time, you reach for your favorite
mug and prepare to slip away to a spa just for chocolate lovers.
You begin with some relaxing aromatherapy and then a long hot dip
in a chocolatey whirlpool. Afterwards you're totally recharged
and you never had to leave your desk. Drift into a chocolatey
daydream and surrender to the deep, dark richness of Suisse Mocha."

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Suisse Mocha.

"Every afternoon about the same time, you reach for your favorite
mug and prepare to slip away to a spa just for chocolate lovers.
You begin with some relaxing aromatherapy and then a long hot dip
in a chocolatey whirlpool. Afterwards you're totally recharged
and you never had to leave your desk. Drift into a chocolatey
daydream and surrender to the deep, dark richness of Suisse Mocha."

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Cafe Vienna.

"There's a chill in the air. The autumn leaves glow brilliantly
against the evening sky. You and a friend stroll casually up the
walkway and talk casually about the day's events. You sit on the
sofa and laugh quietly over a cup of Cafe Vienna...smooth coffee
with a touch of cinnamon flavor."

--crymad

crymad wrote:
This week, a special feature on the minds of coffee drinkers,
as depicted by the corporate marketing team of General Foods
International Coffees.

Today's installment...Cafe Vienna.

"There's a chill in the air. The autumn leaves glow brilliantly
against the evening sky. You and a friend stroll casually up the
walkway and talk casually about the day's events. You sit on the
sofa and laugh quietly over a cup of Cafe Vienna...smooth coffee
with a touch of cinnamon flavor."

--crymad