FDA OK'S PAINT CHIP CEREAL


The Food and Drug Administration gave the green light this week to
Michigan-based General Foods to market its new controversial breakfast
cereal consisting of multi-colored flakes of lead-based paints.



'Peeled Flakes' are expected to hit store shelves sometime next spring.
According to GF spokesmen, any trace amounts of toxins present in the
sugar-coated cereal will be equal to or less than those present in other
leading brands.



"Hey, you think eating handfuls of raw zinc or iron is healthy?" asked GF
Assistant Vice President Les Safir. "Not only does our product not contain
these so-called trace minerals that the other guys sneak in, but the lead
found exclusively in 'Peeled Flakes' has been clinically proven to modify
the genetic structure of children's livers, thereby allowing greater
resistance to the myriad poisons and pollutants the child will encounter as
an adult. Remember DDT and the immune 'super' mosquitoes? Same thing. Our
cereal has a Darwinian 'kick.' Hey, I like that. I think I'll use that."



Gerneral Foods is expected to meet with executives from industrial giant Du
Pont, Inc. in late October to discuss possible product tie-ins and other
collaborative efforts.

"Candy-Colored Clown" wrote in message news:OfqOb.90866$8H.135029@attbi_s03...
FDA OK'S PAINT CHIP CEREAL


The Food and Drug Administration gave the green light this week to
Michigan-based General Foods to market its new controversial breakfast
cereal consisting of multi-colored flakes of lead-based paints.



'Peeled Flakes' are expected to hit store shelves sometime next spring.
According to GF spokesmen, any trace amounts of toxins present in the
sugar-coated cereal will be equal to or less than those present in other
leading brands.



"Hey, you think eating handfuls of raw zinc or iron is healthy?" asked GF
Assistant Vice President Les Safir. "Not only does our product not contain
these so-called trace minerals that the other guys sneak in, but the lead
found exclusively in 'Peeled Flakes' has been clinically proven to modify
the genetic structure of children's livers, thereby allowing greater
resistance to the myriad poisons and pollutants the child will encounter as
an adult. Remember DDT and the immune 'super' mosquitoes? Same thing. Our
cereal has a Darwinian 'kick.' Hey, I like that. I think I'll use that."



Gerneral Foods is expected to meet with executives from industrial giant Du
Pont, Inc. in late October to discuss possible product tie-ins and other
collaborative efforts.

what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.