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Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...



 
 
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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2006, 07:12 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
OmManiPadmeOmelet[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 130
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...


A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $200, she exclaimed:
"I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a
message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked
towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did. He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did. "Now take down my zipper."
She did. "Now go ahead take it out....." He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands
then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered
"Well... go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and
while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said:

"Hello. Mom, can you hear me?"

  #2 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2006, 07:22 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
rosie[_1_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 605
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...


OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.



That was a good one, thanks for starting my day off with a good laugh.
Rosie

  #3 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2006, 07:33 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
Andy[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 11,829
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in
ups.com:


A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $200, she exclaimed:
"I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a
message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked
towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did. He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did. "Now take down my zipper."
She did. "Now go ahead take it out....." He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands
then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered
"Well... go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and
while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said:

"Hello. Mom, can you hear me?"



Does that only apply to natural or dyed? LOL!

Andy
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2006, 08:04 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
OmManiPadmeOmelet[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 130
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

rosie wrote:
OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.



That was a good one, thanks for starting my day off with a good laugh.
Rosie


Most welcome! :-D

  #5 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2006, 08:05 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
OmManiPadmeOmelet[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 130
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

Andy wrote:
"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in
ups.com:


A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $200, she exclaimed:
"I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a
message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked
towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did. He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did. "Now take down my zipper."
She did. "Now go ahead take it out....." He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands
then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered
"Well... go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and
while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said:

"Hello. Mom, can you hear me?"



Does that only apply to natural or dyed? LOL!

Andy


Well if a blone dyes her hair, it's known as "artificial intelligence".
;-)

  #6 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2006, 09:05 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
Andy[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 11,829
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in
oups.com:

Andy wrote:
"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in
ups.com:


A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $200, she exclaimed:
"I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a
message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked
towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.
She did. He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did. "Now take down my zipper."
She did. "Now go ahead take it out....." He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands
then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered
"Well... go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and
while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said:

"Hello. Mom, can you hear me?"



Does that only apply to natural or dyed? LOL!

Andy


Well if a blone dyes her hair, it's known as "artificial intelligence".
;-)


I know, we're talking dumb blondes, not naturals or dyed.

Andy
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 10-04-2006, 11:43 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
LadyJane
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 432
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

OK... let's balance the scales he

A blonde walks into a bank in a Sydney (insert to suit your country)
and asks for the loans officer.
She's going overseas on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security, so the
blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes as collateral for the
loan.
The bank manager and staff all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for
using a $250,000 Merc as collateral against a $5,000 loan, while an
employee parks the Merc in the Bank's underground carpark.
Two weeks later the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest
which comes to $15.41.
Puzzled at her apparent wealth, the loans officers asks why she would
bother to borrow $5,000.
The blonde replies:
"Where else in Sydney can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return?"

Best blonde joke I've heard for ages - and no, I am not blonde, natural
or otherwise!!

LadyJane
--
"Never trust a skinny cook!"

  #8 (permalink)  
Old 10-04-2006, 11:54 PM posted to rec.food.cooking
JJ - RFC
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 107
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

One time on Usenet, "OmManiPadmeOmelet" said:

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send
a message To her mother overseas.


snip

*Sigh* I'll be glad when people stop telling these...

--
jj - rfc (Jani) in WA
~ mom, Trollop, novice cook ~
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 11-04-2006, 01:36 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
JJ - RFC
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 107
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

One time on Usenet, "LadyJane" said:

OK... let's balance the scales he


A blonde walks into a bank in a Sydney (insert to suit your country)
and asks for the loans officer.


snip

Best blonde joke I've heard for ages - and no, I am not blonde, natural
or otherwise!!


Thanks, Lady Jane -- I know a few people who should read this... eg

--
jj - rfc (Jani) in WA
~ mom, Trollop, novice cook ~
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-04-2006, 04:25 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
OmManiPadmeOmelet[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 130
Default Joke Du Jour, Best blond joke I've seen in awhile...

LadyJane wrote:
OK... let's balance the scales he

A blonde walks into a bank in a Sydney (insert to suit your country)
and asks for the loans officer.
She's going overseas on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security, so the
blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes as collateral for the
loan.
The bank manager and staff all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for
using a $250,000 Merc as collateral against a $5,000 loan, while an
employee parks the Merc in the Bank's underground carpark.
Two weeks later the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest
which comes to $15.41.
Puzzled at her apparent wealth, the loans officers asks why she would
bother to borrow $5,000.
The blonde replies:
"Where else in Sydney can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return?"

Best blonde joke I've heard for ages - and no, I am not blonde, natural
or otherwise!!

LadyJane
--
"Never trust a skinny cook!"


Excellent! :-)

SMART blond joke!

 




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