On Wed, 5 Apr 2006 15:18:35 -0400, "Nancy Young"
wrote:

"Damsel in dis Dress" wrote

On Wed, 5 Apr 2006 00:34:04 -0400, "Nancy Young"
wrote:

Okay, guys, now I'm already sick of ham and I haven't even picked it up
yet.

Then our work here is done.

That was hilarious, you bitch.

LOL! I love you too, bitch!

Carol
--

Some people are like Slinkies... they don't really have a purpose but
they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Stolen from "traid" on the IRC

Melba's Jammin' writes:
"KevinS" wrote:
Melba's Jammin' wrote on 4/4/2006:

Hey! I'VE said that for years -- and years -- and years -- before I
ever heard of Dorothy Parker! You can look it up!

Is there NOTHING??!! NOTHING??!! that you didn't get to first?

Y'know when you put it that way, Kev, there ISN'T much I didn't do
first.

So, how old are you, again?

Stacia
ducking and running

In article ,
(Glitter Ninja) wrote:


Face it, we girls just don't have the advantage in ****ing contests
that the boys do.


I'm sorry, I just can't restrain myself, I have to tell my ****ing
contest joke. I stole it, so somebody is sure to sue me, but oh well!

There were a bunch of people at a table in a bar drinking pitchers of
beer. They had drunk quite a bit, and weren't totally rational. Some
guy starts talking about ****ing contests, and a women says she'll take
him on, loser buys the next pitcher. They go out back, where there is a
brick wall. She hikes up her skirt, has her boyfriend hold one leg up
high and makes a respectable mark on the wall. Still, it's pretty
obvious what is going to happen. The guy unzips and whips it out,
holding it to point pretty high. The women yells out, "Hey, no hands.
*I* didn't use any hands.". They guy lets go and piddles miserably on
the ground, and has to buy the next pitcher.

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article . com,
"KevinS" wrote:

Wayne Boatwright wrote on 4/4/2006:

GUFFAW

Actually, after I posted the original message, I thought about the word
"eternity" and how that might be associated with another poster.

I know "exactly" who you are talking about. I used the word "eternity"
earlier today and don't appreciate you talking about me behind my back.
I'm suing for copyright infringement ("eternity" is *my* word and you
stole it) and you'll be hearing from my lawyer, if you haven't already.

So there!

:-)

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article ,
says...
There were a bunch of people at a table in a bar drinking pitchers of
beer. They had drunk quite a bit, and weren't totally rational. Some
guy starts talking about ****ing contests, and a women says she'll take
him on, loser buys the next pitcher. They go out back, where there is a
brick wall. She hikes up her skirt, has her boyfriend hold one leg up
high and makes a respectable mark on the wall. Still, it's pretty
obvious what is going to happen. The guy unzips and whips it out,
holding it to point pretty high. The women yells out, "Hey, no hands.
*I* didn't use any hands.". They guy lets go and piddles miserably on
the ground, and has to buy the next pitcher.



Most people go beyond excretory jokes at the age of 16 or thereabouts.

--
Peter Aitken

In article ,
Peter A wrote:

In article ,
says...
There were a bunch of people at a table in a bar drinking pitchers of
beer. They had drunk quite a bit, and weren't totally rational. Some
guy starts talking about ****ing contests, and a women says she'll take
him on, loser buys the next pitcher. They go out back, where there is a
brick wall. She hikes up her skirt, has her boyfriend hold one leg up
high and makes a respectable mark on the wall. Still, it's pretty
obvious what is going to happen. The guy unzips and whips it out,
holding it to point pretty high. The women yells out, "Hey, no hands.
*I* didn't use any hands.". They guy lets go and piddles miserably on
the ground, and has to buy the next pitcher.



Most people go beyond excretory jokes at the age of 16 or thereabouts.

So how old do you think I am? I'll be sixteen in just a few years (at
my age, you get younger every year, at least mentally).

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article ,
(Glitter Ninja) wrote:

I try to stay out of the ****ing contests

Face it, we girls just don't have the advantage in ****ing contests
that the boys do.

Stacia

Little girl challenged little boy to see who could pee higher on a wall.
Little boy figured he's got it nailed. They drop their knickers and he
reaches down and she says, "uh-uh -- no hands." "-)
--
-Barb
http://jamlady.eboard.com Updated 4-2-06, Church review #11

"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

In article ,
Dan Abel wrote:

In article ,
(Glitter Ninja) wrote:


Face it, we girls just don't have the advantage in ****ing contests
that the boys do.


I'm sorry, I just can't restrain myself, I have to tell my ****ing
contest joke. I stole it, so somebody is sure to sue me, but oh well!

There were a bunch of people at a table in a bar drinking pitchers of
beer. They had drunk quite a bit, and weren't totally rational. Some
guy starts talking about ****ing contests, and a women says she'll take
him on, loser buys the next pitcher. They go out back, where there is a
brick wall. She hikes up her skirt, has her boyfriend hold one leg up
high and makes a respectable mark on the wall. Still, it's pretty
obvious what is going to happen. The guy unzips and whips it out,
holding it to point pretty high. The women yells out, "Hey, no hands.
*I* didn't use any hands.". They guy lets go and piddles miserably on
the ground, and has to buy the next pitcher.

Oh, cripes, Dan! I posted my ****ing contest joke before I read yours!
LOL!! Yours is better -- or told better at least. "-)

--
-Barb
http://jamlady.eboard.com Updated 4-2-06, Church review #11

"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

In article ,
(Glitter Ninja) wrote:

Melba's Jammin' writes:
"KevinS" wrote:
Melba's Jammin' wrote on 4/4/2006:

Hey! I'VE said that for years -- and years -- and years -- before I
ever heard of Dorothy Parker! You can look it up!

Is there NOTHING??!! NOTHING??!! that you didn't get to first?

Y'know when you put it that way, Kev, there ISN'T much I didn't do
first.

So, how old are you, again?

Stacia
ducking and running

Sixty-one in June. Same day Custer got his last haircut at the Little
Bighorn. It's not too early to start shopping.
--
-Barb
http://jamlady.eboard.com Updated 4-2-06, Church review #11

"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

On Tue, 04 Apr 2006 22:39:28 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
wrote:

Acksherly, one of my two favorite poyems is by Dot Parker:

Indian Summer
snip

She's one of my favorites, and here's one of my faves of hers:

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Rumania

Serene

"Andy" q wrote in message ...
Q: What do you call a person who hangs around with musicians?

A: A drummer.

:-)

Bob M.


Bad humor. It's the back beat that drives the band when they're playing
music, that is.

Well, sure, but that's nothing that couldn't be provided by a
halfway decent drum machine. And the machine has the
advantage of never throwing its sticks at its bandmates,
it doesn't take up an exorbitant amount of space in the van,
and to the best of my knowledge will never get sick and
pass out in the back seat after the gig....:-)

Bob M.

In article ,
"Bob Myers" wrote:


By the way:

Q: What do you call a person who hangs around with musicians?

A: A drummer.

:-)


Every summer we go to church camp. The last part is a twisty dirt road,
and it's a long ways, so somebody usually puts up signs to reassure
people that they didn't miss a turn somewhere. One year there was a
music/dance camp that put up signs (there are three group camps there,
several miles apart, so we were there at the same time). They put up a
ton of musician jokes. Here are two that I remember:

Q: What do you call 100 bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start!


Q: What do you call a trombone player with a Daytimer?

A: A wishful thinker!

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA