1.** Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.*
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
*
** 2.** Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.** In a
world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
*
** 3.** Men are very confident people.* My husband is so confident that
when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates
he can help his team.* If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players
from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get
off the phone in case they call him.
*
** 4.** All men are afraid of eyelash curlers.* I sleep with one under
my pillow, instead of a gun.
*
** 5.** A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner.* These men
usually have jobs and bathe.
*
** 6.** Men are sensitive in strange ways.* If a man has built a fire
and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
*
** 7.** Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man.* Men are like
portable heaters that snore.
*
** 8.** Women take clothing much more seriously than men.* I've never
seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed;
get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
*
** 9.** Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the
door.
*
** 10.* No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record
saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
*
** 11.* Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the
movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
*
** 12.* Men hate to lose.* I once beat my husband at tennis.* I asked
him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each
other."
*
** 13.* Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a
problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a
challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love
you* . . . I want to marry you . . I want to have your children."*
Sometimes they leave skid marks.
*
** 14.* Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super heroes.* Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.
*
** 15.* Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.* With
female menopause - you gain weight and get hot flashes.* Male menopause
- you get to date young girls, shave your head, get tattoos and drive
motorcycles.
*
** 16.* Men forget everything; women remember everything.* That's why
men need instant replays in sports.* They've already forgotten what
happened.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.

Enjoyed them all!

Andy

In article , Andy q wrote:

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.

Scary thought. ;-)


Enjoyed them all!

Andy

Thanks!

Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in message
...
In article , Andy q wrote:

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.


Scary thought. ;-)


Enjoyed them all!

Andy

Thanks!

Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.

--
We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful

In article ,
"Lefty" wrote:

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in message
...
In article , Andy q wrote:

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.


Scary thought. ;-)


Enjoyed them all!

Andy

Thanks!

Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.

--
We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
Lefty

snicker Or ignore me.....
That's even worse.

It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:35:24 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
wrote:

snip

It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!

And it works? Mine always just screams louder. ;P

Regards,
Tracy R.

In article ,
says...
It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!

And it works? Mine always just screams louder. ;P




Try poaching. It works wonders.


--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths pages at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Lefty" wrote:

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in message
...
In article , Andy q wrote:

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the
goldfish.


Scary thought. ;-)


Enjoyed them all!

Andy

Thanks!

Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.

--
We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
Lefty

snicker Or ignore me.....
That's even worse.

It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!
--

Don't we all. I really don't think on-the-edge-of-offensive is a bad thing
even if people who don't like it do post their input about why --where else
do some people get the chance in daily life to get fired up about something.
Socially Redeeming Values, the paradox of Socially Degrading Jokes. You're
providing a service here.
--
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful

In article ,
"Lefty" wrote:

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Lefty" wrote:

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" wrote in message
...
In article , Andy q wrote:

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the
goldfish.


Scary thought. ;-)


Enjoyed them all!

Andy

Thanks!

Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.

--
We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
Lefty

snicker Or ignore me.....
That's even worse.

It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!
--

Don't we all. I really don't think on-the-edge-of-offensive is a bad thing
even if people who don't like it do post their input about why --where else
do some people get the chance in daily life to get fired up about something.
Socially Redeeming Values, the paradox of Socially Degrading Jokes. You're
providing a service here.

I'll keep that in mind...... ;-)
It is interesting to see some people's reaction to certain brands of
humor. And examine what we laugh at and why.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

snicker Or ignore me.....
That's even worse.

It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!
--

Don't we all. I really don't think on-the-edge-of-offensive is a bad
thing
even if people who don't like it do post their input about why --where
else
do some people get the chance in daily life to get fired up about
something.
Socially Redeeming Values, the paradox of Socially Degrading Jokes.
You're
providing a service here.

I'll keep that in mind...... ;-)
It is interesting to see some people's reaction to certain brands of
humor. And examine what we laugh at and why.
--
It's like music. If it has style and significant form it doesn't matter
whether it is country or classic, it can be enjoyable on some level in some
context by most.

I think indifference would be the least desirable response if you seek
responses.

You seem to have a collection of edgy social-based jokes. Do you have a
source or do you really have "archives". I used to get the jokes making the
rounds
online until I asked to be taken off those SPAM-drawing lists.
--
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful

In article ,
"Lefty" wrote:

I'll keep that in mind...... ;-)
It is interesting to see some people's reaction to certain brands of
humor. And examine what we laugh at and why.
--
It's like music. If it has style and significant form it doesn't matter
whether it is country or classic, it can be enjoyable on some level in some
context by most.

I think indifference would be the least desirable response if you seek
responses.

The various reactions can be interesting... but I do try not to offend.


You seem to have a collection of edgy social-based jokes. Do you have a
source or do you really have "archives". I used to get the jokes making the
rounds
online until I asked to be taken off those SPAM-drawing lists.

Yes, I really do have a small personal archive!
I get a lot of jokes via e-mail (and the occasional one posted to
usenet) but I don't keep them all. Just the ones that actually make me
smile or laugh. :-)

And IMHO my sense of humor leans towards the cynical and ironic.
Or the obvious stereotypes from time to time...

I've been collecting e-mail humor since I first got on line back in 1998
I think it was?

--
Lefty
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson