Mary had a little lamb.
The doctor was surprised.
The lamb was born so easily
That Mary wasn't anesthetized.

Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint jelly
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb went, in her belly

Mary had a little lamb,
a little pork, a little jam,
an ice cream soda topped with fizz.
My god, how sick our Mary is!

Mary had a little lamb,
Her sister Nell had none.
Nell led Mary's lamb away
and killed it just for fun.

This left Mary quite distraught
and mad at sister Nell.
Mary shot her sister dead,
Said, "You go straight to hell!"

This tale of sibling rivalry,
this woe of which I speak,
Is soon to be on NBC
as "Movie of the Week."

Mary had a little lamb.
'Twas awful dumb and slow
It couldn't tell the red from green
Nor which was stop or go.

It followed her to school one day...
A silly thing to do.
Was caught between the red and green,
And now it's mutton stew.

Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
and now she's taking laxatives
To pass the time away

But as the days turned into weeks
the watch refused to pass
So if you need to know the time
Just look up Mary's ass.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.

But Mary found the price of beef
was high, which didn't please her.
Tonight she's having leg of lamb,
the rest is in the freezer!

Mary had a swarm of bees,
And they, to save their lives,
Went everywhere that mary went,
'Cause Mary had the hives.

Mary had a little lamb
the doctor was suprised;
but when McDonald had a farm,
you shoulda seen his eyes!

Mary had a little sheep
and with this sheep she went to sleep
the sheep turned out to be a ram,
so Mary had a little lamb!

Mary drank a little wine
and started feeling tipsy,
She whispered to her little lamb
"if you're a ram you'd screw me"

Mary had a little lamb,
Mary had a bear.
I've never seen her little lamb
But I've often seen her bare.

Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it - it's gone!
Now everywhere that Mary goes,
Time marches on!

Mary had a little lamb, a baked potato, and a tossed salad.

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket.
Every time the lamb got out,
The sheepdog tried to...put it back in again.

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was red as red,
The reason for this was because
It had a pickaxe through it's head!

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10 millon volts went up it's arse,
And turned it into nylon!

Mary had a little lamb,
and it was always gruntin
SO everywhere that Mary went
she kicked its little ****in!

Mary had a little lamb,
You've heard this tale before.
But did you know she passed her plate,
And had a little more?

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
And now she carries it to school
between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb
she fed it castor oil
and everywhere that lamby went
it fertilized the soil.

Mary had a little lamb
Peter had a pup
Robert had a crocodile
that ate the others up

TOM KAN PA wrote:
Mary had a little lamb.
The doctor was surprised.

You have too much time on your hands.


jim

In article ,
c (TOM KAN PA) wrote:

[many other iterations snipped]

Mary had a little lamb
Peter had a pup
Robert had a crocodile
that ate the others up

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Old Macdonald had a farm
The doctor nearly died!

Mary had a little clock
She swallowed it one day
And so she took some Epsom salts
To pass the time away
The Epsom salts they did not work
The clock, it would not pass
So when you want to know the time
Just look up Mary's phone number

Miche

--
If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
-- Arlo Guthrie, "Alice's Restaurant"

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
Its sooty foot he put.

Cheers
Jon