NEW Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the ''other side'. That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."

DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -
in peace.

ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU
SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?