Official Count Your Turds Day

#1 (**permalink**) 30-11-2003, 07:14 AM

On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 12:40:24 GMT, wrote:

I've been counting mine for years. How bout youz?

That big dark one is all that's left of your Netherland dwarf bun,
Penis.

wrote:

Yesterday was Thankgiving. A day to count your blessings, and eat
like a pig (all in one day).

Today is the day AFTER Thanksgiving, is the day to count your turds.
besides being the busiest shopping day of the year, and the busiest
toilet day of the year. Today is the day that is most dreaded by both
retail clerks, and by those who work at the sewerage treatment plants.
However, most decent folks dont know that today is also "Official
Count Your Turds Day". The day when consumers use the most toilet
paper, and the day you are required by an unwritten law to do a turd
count. What you need to do is count every turd that you deposit
today. Be sure to count BEFORE you flush, or it's too late, and
guesses and estimates are not acceptable. You must count each and
every turd, and report to this newsgroup precisely how many turds you
dropped. They must only be deposited on todays date (11-28-03).
Every turd will add to our final result, report. Remember, be
precise, and dont neglect to post your results.

If you notice any unusual activity while you make your deposits, such
as excessive use of toilet paper, increased use of the plunger,
straining during the fecal drop, stains on your underpants, or a
phoned complaint from your sewerage department, please post this
activity too. We do need to know all the details, in order to produce
our Official Turd Day report. And dont forget, if you are going Cold
Turkey today, we would like to know if you succeed.

Do the world a favor, and please do not forget to count your turds
today. You wont regret your support for this cause and your mind will
be relieved to know that you assisted your fellow man with important
educational facts and statistics.

The compiled results will be posted to the public when they are
completed, and a followup website will be produced to share with the
whole world, for the future knowledge of humanity.

Thank You

Countess Turder (president)
from: The Official Turd Count Headquarters. (OTCH)

#2 (**permalink**) 02-12-2003, 07:48 AM

On Mon, 01 Dec 2003 05:31:25 GMT, wrote:

Youz are so full of it K00K, we'd be here all day counting
youz turds.

What happens when youse blow out your butt plug?

The Revd Terence Fformby-Smythe wrote:

On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 12:40:24 GMT, wrote:

I've been counting mine for years. How bout youz?

That big dark one is all that's left of your Netherland dwarf bun,
Penis.

wrote:

Yesterday was Thankgiving. A day to count your blessings, and eat
like a pig (all in one day).

Today is the day AFTER Thanksgiving, is the day to count your turds.
besides being the busiest shopping day of the year, and the busiest
toilet day of the year. Today is the day that is most dreaded by both
retail clerks, and by those who work at the sewerage treatment plants.
However, most decent folks dont know that today is also "Official
Count Your Turds Day". The day when consumers use the most toilet
paper, and the day you are required by an unwritten law to do a turd
count. What you need to do is count every turd that you deposit
today. Be sure to count BEFORE you flush, or it's too late, and
guesses and estimates are not acceptable. You must count each and
every turd, and report to this newsgroup precisely how many turds you
dropped. They must only be deposited on todays date (11-28-03).
Every turd will add to our final result, report. Remember, be
precise, and dont neglect to post your results.

If you notice any unusual activity while you make your deposits, such
as excessive use of toilet paper, increased use of the plunger,
straining during the fecal drop, stains on your underpants, or a
phoned complaint from your sewerage department, please post this
activity too. We do need to know all the details, in order to produce
our Official Turd Day report. And dont forget, if you are going Cold
Turkey today, we would like to know if you succeed.

Do the world a favor, and please do not forget to count your turds
today. You wont regret your support for this cause and your mind will
be relieved to know that you assisted your fellow man with important
educational facts and statistics.

The compiled results will be posted to the public when they are
completed, and a followup website will be produced to share with the
whole world, for the future knowledge of humanity.

Thank You

Countess Turder (president)
from: The Official Turd Count Headquarters. (OTCH)

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