I just received this from an 86 year old with whom volunteer, a dear
friend. Apologies to those on a diet.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards. Fruit=healthy.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember
this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!
gloria p

On Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:16:35 -0700, Gloria P
wrote:

I just received this from an 86 year old with whom volunteer, a dear
friend. Apologies to those on a diet.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

HEH! I got that today too. Glad you posted it.




--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that
interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

"Gloria P" wrote in message
...

I just received this from an 86 year old with whom volunteer, a dear
friend. Apologies to those on a diet.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS


You're just trying to get rid of as many people as possible so there's more
for you.

In article ,
sf wrote:

On Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:16:35 -0700, Gloria P
wrote:

I just received this from an 86 year old with whom volunteer, a dear
friend. Apologies to those on a diet.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

HEH! I got that today too. Glad you posted it.



Cook the carrots and serve with a nice fatty dip. g
--
Peace! Om

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive." -- Dalai Lama

"Gloria P" wrote in message
...

I just received this from an 86 year old with whom volunteer, a dear
friend. Apologies to those on a diet.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.
Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.
If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
standards. Fruit=healthy.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;
start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this
motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out
and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!
gloria p

Hallelujah brother I Do believe!

LOL

Dimitri

"Gloria P" wrote in message
...

I just received this from an 86 year old with whom volunteer, a dear
friend. Apologies to those on a diet.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.
Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.
If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
standards. Fruit=healthy.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;
start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this
motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out
and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!
gloria p


What a great list (And you definitely don't want to buy a sports car
with an automatic transmission. Funny how many people want to look cool but
can't drive a stick to save their life. I picture them making waaaaaa...
waaaaa... waaaaaaah sounds as they pretend to shift.)

And gravy... yep, what's the point without a pile of mashed potatoes. I'm
not a turkey fan but there's some excellent beef gravy to be made, or at
least au jus. I posted this recently (and in the past) but it's good for
this time of year:

Harvest Mashed potatoes

4 large red or russet potatoes (2 pounds)
2 medium-size sweet potatoes (1½ pounds)
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 T. prepared horseradish
1/4 t. salt
1/4 t. pepper
1/4 t. ground cinnamon
1/4 t. ground nutmeg

Bake sweet potatoes until tender, peel and mash. Cook russet potatoes (cut
large ones in half) in a dutch oven in boiling salted water to cover until
tender; peel and mash or press through ricer and combine with sweet
potatoes. Add 1/2 cup butter and next 8 ingredients; mash with a potato
masher or mix with electric mixer until smooth. Bake until heated through
and starting to brown on top. (This recipe assumes you're putting this in a
large casserole dish to bake it.) Serve topped with additional Parmesan
cheese if desired. Yield: 8 servings.

Jill