In case you missed it in rec.humour.funny ...

From:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Expiration dates explained
Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:30:01 PDT

1. USE BEFORE date
(A) Some time after date, this product becomes dangerous to your
health. Either the chemicals change into something horrible, or
microbes will have had time to produce a significant amount of toxins.

In either case, try not to think about it when you use the product
before date.

(B) Sometimes, especially with OTC drugs, it means BEST BEFORE, which see.

2. PURCHASE BY date
Same as above, but the manufacturer or government thinks it knows just
how long you will keep it on your shelf before you use it up. If you
still have left-over cereal from 1997, you might want to consider this
the same as a USE BEFORE date.

3. BEST BEFORE date
(A) It's not dangerous after date, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.

(B) It's not dangerous after date, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.

(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.

(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.

(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.

4. date
A date without any indication of what the date means, allows the
company to change its story with every phone call or law suit. It can
claim it's: any of the above, manufacture date, packaging date, or the
date of the next company picnic.

[ Web Ref: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/07/Aug/dates.html ]

Cheers, Phred.

--
LID

"Phred" wrote in message
...
In case you missed it in rec.humour.funny ...

From:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Expiration dates explained
Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:30:01 PDT

1. USE BEFORE date
(A) Some time after date, this product becomes dangerous to your
health. Either the chemicals change into something horrible, or
microbes will have had time to produce a significant amount of toxins.

In either case, try not to think about it when you use the product
before date.

(B) Sometimes, especially with OTC drugs, it means BEST BEFORE, which see.

2. PURCHASE BY date
Same as above, but the manufacturer or government thinks it knows just
how long you will keep it on your shelf before you use it up. If you
still have left-over cereal from 1997, you might want to consider this
the same as a USE BEFORE date.

3. BEST BEFORE date
(A) It's not dangerous after date, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.

(B) It's not dangerous after date, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.

(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.

(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.

(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.

4. date
A date without any indication of what the date means, allows the
company to change its story with every phone call or law suit. It can
claim it's: any of the above, manufacture date, packaging date, or the
date of the next company picnic.

[ Web Ref: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/07/Aug/dates.html ]

Cheers, Phred.

--
LID


I have salt with a "use by" date on it ;-)

sigh....................

The wrote on Sun, 2 Sep 2007 00:23:44 +1000:


TPM "Phred" wrote in message
TPM ...
?? In case you missed it in rec.humour.funny ...
??
?? From:
?? Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
?? Subject: Expiration dates explained
?? Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:30:01 PDT
??
?? 1. USE BEFORE date

TPM I have salt with a "use by" date on it ;-)

If it's not unthinking conformity to some law or other, it might
express the fact that salt does tend to cake if kept in a moist
atmosphere. Another thing that might well have a "use by" date
is baking soda that will absorb odors even in a closed cardboard
box. In desperation, I used some as an antacid from a box that
had been in the cabinet for a long time and the taste was
horrible!

James Silverton
Potomac, Maryland

E-mail, with obvious alterations:
not.jim.silverton.at.verizon.not

The wrote on Sun, 2 Sep 2007 00:23:44 +1000:


?? --
?? LID
??
TPM I have salt with a "use by" date on it ;-)

This thread started me thinking and reminded me of something
that has always puzzled me. The statement in the Bible (Mathew
5:13) " if that salt of the earth lose its savor". How can salt
do that? Explanations I have seen referred to leaching out out
of the real sodium chloride from the impure product available in
Biblical times but have never seemed very enlightening. But
preachers don't concern themselves much with day to day things
:-)

James Silverton
Potomac, Maryland

E-mail, with obvious alterations:
not.jim.silverton.at.verizon.not

"The Purple Monster" wrote in message
...

"Phred" wrote in message
...
snip
3. BEST BEFORE date
(A) It's not dangerous after date, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.

(B) It's not dangerous after date, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.

(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.

(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.

(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.

I have salt with a "use by" date on it ;-)

I have bottled "pure spring water" with a "best before Mar 07" on the bottle
:-)

"Sunny" wrote in message
...

"The Purple Monster" wrote in message
...

"Phred" wrote in message
...
snip
3. BEST BEFORE date
(A) It's not dangerous after date, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.

(B) It's not dangerous after date, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.

(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.

(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.

(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.

I have salt with a "use by" date on it ;-)

I have bottled "pure spring water" with a "best before Mar 07" on the
bottle :-)
Plastics.
Dee Dee

"Dee Dee" wrote in message
...

"Sunny" wrote in message
...

"The Purple Monster" wrote in message
...

"Phred" wrote in message
...
snip
3. BEST BEFORE date
(A) It's not dangerous after date, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.

(B) It's not dangerous after date, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.

(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.

(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.

(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.

I have salt with a "use by" date on it ;-)

I have bottled "pure spring water" with a "best before Mar 07" on the
bottle :-)
Plastics.

Right, reasons (A) through (E) all fit then :-)