On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 23:21:12 GMT, Puester
wrote:

Julia Altshuler wrote:

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)



What one person perceives as rudeness, another
may see as attentiveness. Is it worse to be
interrupted or to search in vain for a server
when you might need something? I'm sure it's
a difficult call for a server who has to keep
track of many tables.


That is the fault of management. Discreet hovering by the
staff means customers won't have to get up and do a chicken
dance just to get their wait staff's attention.

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 18:46:08 -0500, Steve Wertz
wrote:

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 19:31:31 -0400, travis
wrote:

I like
them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
alone.

Most people would complain that they'd feel rushed by being presented
the check that soon after serving. It's customary for waitroids to
ask if you'd like dessert as well.

That's a practice called "up selling" if you didn't know the
term already. It's done in all retail situations... that's
why sales people push accessories when women buy shoes and
if you try to buy lipstick, they show you eye shadow and
blush - for men, that's why you don't end up with just the
basic car you set out to buy.

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 19:29:00 +1000, Craig Welch
wrote:

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 01:23:54 -0500, Steve Wertz
wrote:

What if the table is enganged in conversation, though?

They wait for a couple of moments. A lull in the conversation will
follow. At that juncture, they can make their request. It's not that
difficult, really.

Refill the water glasses and pass out the dessert menus -
there is no need to interrupt the conversation. If people
are engaged, they will usually order dessert and after
dinner drinks. But if the wait staff annoys them enough,
they'll just ask for the check and vamoose.

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 15:27:20 +1000, Craig Welch
wrote:

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:04:26 GMT, Julia Altshuler
wrote:

Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question?

It's not your imagination, it's quite rude.

I lay the blame at the feet of management. Obviously,
"discretion" training was minimal at best.

On 06 Oct 2003 13:05:59 GMT, (PENMART01)
wrote:

But they can be expected to exhibit common courtesy... perhaps every restaurant
table needs a call button, as is installed on hospital beds... then diners can
expect to wait for the next shift to refill their coffee.

Perhaps waitstaff can be trained to keep a practiced eye on
the customers and anticipate when they want a refill. They
can always be "waved off", but what's the cost of a cup of
coffee compared to good customer relations.... especially in
this day & age???

On Tue, 07 Oct 2003 03:42:30 GMT, Dog3
wrote:


I don't think courtesy was the issue here. The original poster did not
want to be interrupted while engaged in conversation. I'd wager there are
few waitperons that have time to stand and watch one table for a lull in
conversation before checking back.

If they were well trained, they wouldn't need to wait for a
lull in the conversation and they would NEVER use that
phrase.

IMO the common courtesy in this
particular instance lies with the diner. A simple nod would have sufficed.
If one can not hold the gist of a conversation in their head while nodding
the head... well...

Michael

sf wrote in
:

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 23:21:12 GMT, Puester
wrote:

Julia Altshuler wrote:

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As
we were slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in
the middle of spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress
come over to interupt to ask if everything is alright. I have to
take my attention away from my dining companions to pay attention
to her to reassure her that everything is fine. (Or it was fine
until I was interrupted.)



What one person perceives as rudeness, another
may see as attentiveness. Is it worse to be
interrupted or to search in vain for a server
when you might need something? I'm sure it's
a difficult call for a server who has to keep
track of many tables.


That is the fault of management. Discreet hovering by the
staff means customers won't have to get up and do a chicken
dance just to get their wait staff's attention.



I like doing the dance especially the part where you yell WAITER or SERVICE
real loud. Ensures good service for the rest of the meal.

On 6 Oct 2003 08:42:27 -0700, (Renee)
wrote:

I think that I'd rather be bothered than be ignored. Happened to me
last night. I hated to do it, but after begging for my check and then
begging for my change, I simply left half of a torn dollar bill on the
table. I'm hoping the message was understood.


That was cold.

On 6 Oct 2003 08:45:37 -0700, (will)
wrote:



i have had that happen to me as a server in a restraunt i am currntly
working at a local pizza hut and a few of the waitresses do not like
doing there job when it has to be done. i have found my self doing
there job when i have work to do myself

Believe me when I say this.... The regulars notice these
things and your tips will increase!

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 14:06:50 GMT, Rhonda Anderson
wrote:


Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
have the flag system, albeit in other forms g.

That's a new one to me. The only "signal" I know in a
Chinese restaurant is to turn the top of the teapot over if
it needs refilling.

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:44:48 -0400, Nancy Young
wrote:

Rhonda Anderson wrote:

A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.

I wouldn't call a pub a "restaurant". I think the service
was probably about average.

My favorite Pub (Tommy's Joint) has a hofbrau style line,
which means you only tip the waitress when she gets you a
drink from the bar.

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:54:23 -0400, travis
wrote:



You know what drives me up the wall? The last two times I took my
wife out to dinner to have a nice meal, somebody else decided to try
to impress their business associate by taking them out to dinner and
sat at a table next to us and BLAH BLAH BLAHed about business stuff
the whole time we were trying to eat.

I don't understand the psychology behind it, but in the past
my husband has done that to me too. We were having a
perfectly fine conversation in normal tones, but when the
conversation turned to business all of a sudden he was
practically shouting. This is a guy who is super sensitive
to raised voices, but I felt like he was telling the world
his business (obviously good news or else he wouldn't have
done it).

Go figure.

You know what drives me up the wall? The last two times I took my
wife out to dinner to have a nice meal, somebody else decided to try
to impress their business associate by taking them out to dinner and
sat at a table next to us and BLAH BLAH BLAHed about business stuff
the whole time we were trying to eat. I wish people who want to have
a business dinner would let the person seating them know what they're
up to so that they could be seated somewhere that would hopefully
isolate them from the rest of the patrons so that we don't have to
listen to them spew about how great the company is doing and how their
fancy company car rides so smooth and all that crap. Sorry to rant.
That kind of thing just really irks me.

You find this odd? I find this sort of experience is normal in the
USA - in restaurants, in aeorplanes, in public places of all sorts.
Americans talk about everything at the top of their voices and they
talk and talk and talk and talk.

Try eating at a middle of the road English restaurant. Unless there
are Americans present, you won't get any of what you describe!


TigsNona

On Tue, 07 Oct 2003 11:41:03 +1000, Craig Welch
wrote:

On 06 Oct 2003 23:09:06 GMT, ospam (DJS0302) wrote:

Well I'm sure you were just the perfect waitress at all times. Perhaps you
should start teaching a course on how to wait tables and deal with snooty
customers such as yourself. You could teach new waiters how to read people's
minds so they would know whether a dining party wanted to be left alone during
most of the dinner or if they wanted the wait staff to constantly check to see
if anything else was needed.

There are parts of the world where the notion that the waiter would
interrupt the diners for any reason at all in the middle of the meal
would be the strangest thing.

Yes where I live (New Zealand), it would be considered very strange.
The tradition here is that if the diner has some complaint or query,
then he or she will call the wait person. I always find it
disconcerting (and rude) that in some other countries the restaurants
(or their staff I'm not sure which) feel so insecure about either the
food or the sevice that they have to check up all the time!

Perhaps you might try a system where people can
call the waiters on their cell phones. As far as reducing the tip is
concerned, you were totally wrong for doing so. I only reduce the tip if the
waiter is definitely rude or unattentive. I don't consider interrupting a
conversation for two seconds to ask if the dinner is okay to be rude.

And as you've no doubt read in this thread, many people *do*
consider it to be rude ...

TigsNona

Oh, yes, and BTW in New Zealand it is simply not done to tip for
anything - not for any type of service, anywhere, anytime. Our
service staff here are paid a decent wage and do not expect to be
tipped. So, there is no history of tipping here I am thankful to
say. I think it is the same in Australia - I have never tipped there
and have never felt expected to.

I like it that way. Tipping is just too humiliating.

TigsNona