No... Don't complain to management... speak to your waiter/waitress... as a
him/her... like as if they're like you and me...

Ever heard the words "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM" ???


With you being one who has experience in the hospitality field, *share* your
experience with others that serve you like you serve others...

I HATE TATTLE-TALES!!!!!


--
Kendall F. Stratton III
Fort Fairfield, Maine USA

http://home.maine.rr.com/k3

"Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!"

"Deepak Saxena" wrote in message
...
In article KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04,
Julia Altshuler wrote:


It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Complain to management that you are receiving too much service.
I'm being serious. I think the waiters are trained to always
check on the customer and I find it annoying when a waiter comes by
every five minutes to ask me everything is OK. Applebee's is specially
horrible about this. I think it's a big waste of time. All I ask
from waiters is:

- Take my order on time
- If my order is taking a long time, be corteous enough to let me know
- Keep me refilled on drinks
- Get me my bill quickly once I ask for it (this realy irks me and I
quickly lower tips to $0 if I have to wait too long for my bill)
- Take care of the bill quickly once I've provided payment
- At the same time, don't try to rush me out just to get more customers
in the door.

If I need anything else, I'll flag them down.

I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

I agree that they wouldn't directly see the connection. If you don't
want to get the waiter in trouble, leave a note in the comment card.

~Deepak

--
Deepak Saxena - - http://www.plexity.net

Rhonda Anderson wrote:

A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.

I did go to this restaurant once, in Baltimore. Yes, leave it to me
to be unable to find crab cakes in Baltimore. So, wound up at the
Chart House, which in Boston is (was?) a nice restaurant. This was
more casual. Waitress came over, if you like our sandwiches, I'll
give you a token. Huh? We were looking at her thinking, well keep
the token, we're just visiting for the day. (laugh) Well, turns
out, if you wanted a sandwich, you had to take your token and go
stand on line. Well, I did, but that is a non-starter for me. I
feel like standing on line I'll go to Wendy's.

We were discussing this system, and one of my colleagues told of his
experience at a restaurant at, IIRC, Singapore airport (perhaps another
airport, my memory's not that good). The table number was on a statue and
when the waiter delivered his meal he tipped the statue over. My colleague,
thinking nothing but to make the table look neat again, righted the statue.
The waiter came over shortly after, asked if everything was OK - on being
assured that it was, he tipped the statue over again and left. My colleague
righted the statue again, almost straight away (I think he was wondering
why the waiter kept tipping it over!) and shortly thereafter the manager
appeared to ask if he was sure that everything was OK. Yes it was, he said,
why?

Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
have the flag system, albeit in other forms g.

Yeah, I just love dining in situations where you need to know the
secret handshake. How do they expect people to know if you don't
tell them? Like places where they expect you to pay up front but
just leave the bill and disappear. That's not customary for me, it
would be nice if they'd say, pay up front when you're ready. Instead
I sit there waiting for them to come back for the money.

nancy

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:44:48 -0400, Nancy Young
shared the following:

Rhonda Anderson wrote:

A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.

I did go to this restaurant once, in Baltimore. Yes, leave it to me
to be unable to find crab cakes in Baltimore. So, wound up at the
Chart House, which in Boston is (was?) a nice restaurant. This was
more casual. Waitress came over, if you like our sandwiches, I'll
give you a token. Huh? We were looking at her thinking, well keep
the token, we're just visiting for the day. (laugh) Well, turns
out, if you wanted a sandwich, you had to take your token and go
stand on line. Well, I did, but that is a non-starter for me. I
feel like standing on line I'll go to Wendy's.

We were discussing this system, and one of my colleagues told of his
experience at a restaurant at, IIRC, Singapore airport (perhaps another
airport, my memory's not that good). The table number was on a statue and
when the waiter delivered his meal he tipped the statue over. My colleague,
thinking nothing but to make the table look neat again, righted the statue.
The waiter came over shortly after, asked if everything was OK - on being
assured that it was, he tipped the statue over again and left. My colleague
righted the statue again, almost straight away (I think he was wondering
why the waiter kept tipping it over!) and shortly thereafter the manager
appeared to ask if he was sure that everything was OK. Yes it was, he said,
why?

Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
have the flag system, albeit in other forms g.

Yeah, I just love dining in situations where you need to know the
secret handshake. How do they expect people to know if you don't
tell them? Like places where they expect you to pay up front but
just leave the bill and disappear. That's not customary for me, it
would be nice if they'd say, pay up front when you're ready. Instead
I sit there waiting for them to come back for the money.

nancy

You know what drives me up the wall? The last two times I took my
wife out to dinner to have a nice meal, somebody else decided to try
to impress their business associate by taking them out to dinner and
sat at a table next to us and BLAH BLAH BLAHed about business stuff
the whole time we were trying to eat. I wish people who want to have
a business dinner would let the person seating them know what they're
up to so that they could be seated somewhere that would hopefully
isolate them from the rest of the patrons so that we don't have to
listen to them spew about how great the company is doing and how their
fancy company car rides so smooth and all that crap. Sorry to rant.
That kind of thing just really irks me.


--
Travis
FOR SALE: '63 VW Camo Baja... $1000 *FIRM*
http://bugadventures.dyndns.org
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


:wq!

"K3" wrote in message
...
No... Don't complain to management... speak to your waiter/waitress... as
a
him/her... like as if they're like you and me...

Ever heard the words "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM" ???


With you being one who has experience in the hospitality field, *share*
your
experience with others that serve you like you serve others...

I HATE TATTLE-TALES!!!!!

--
Kendall F. Stratton III

There's no "tattling" involved. It's the job of management to supervise the
wait staff, and it is perfectly proper to complain about a server to
management. It is not the customer's job to train or supervise the wait
staff. If complaints all went directly to the waiter, the management would
have no way to know who was screwing up and ****ing off the customers on a
regular basis.


--
Peter Aitken

Remove the crap from my email address before using.

I think that I'd rather be bothered than be ignored. Happened to me
last night. I hated to do it, but after begging for my check and then
begging for my change, I simply left half of a torn dollar bill on the
table. I'm hoping the message was understood.



wrote in message . ..
On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 05:45:36 -0500, "jmcquown" wrote:

Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".

Exactly. Most people can manage to stay focused long enough to say "We're okay"
or "Could you bring (whatever is needed)?".

People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather be
interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food. Even
then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to be
clairvoyant.

wrote in message . ..
On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 05:45:36 -0500, "jmcquown" wrote:

Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".

Exactly. Most people can manage to stay focused long enough to say "We're okay"
or "Could you bring (whatever is needed)?".

People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather be
interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food. Even
then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to be
clairvoyant.

i have had that happen to me as a server in a restraunt i am currntly
working at a local pizza hut and a few of the waitresses do not like
doing there job when it has to be done. i have found my self doing
there job when i have work to do myself

travisty writes:

You know what drives me up the wall?

Do tell.

The last two times I took my
wife out to dinner to have a nice meal, somebody else decided to try
to impress their business associate by taking them out to dinner and
sat at a table next to us and BLAH BLAH BLAHed about business stuff
the whole time we were trying to eat.

You expect to pay under $20 for two and have the entire joint all to
yourself...

And this is somehow due to the wait staff's rudeness... duh! Sounds more like
you're a cheap ******* who drags his wife to some fercocktah low-class chain
eatery and then expects a 5-star dining experience. Idiot.


---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

"PENMART01" wrote in message
...

......
But they can be expected to exhibit common courtesy... perhaps every
restaurant
table needs a call button, as is installed on hospital beds... then diners
can
expect to wait for the next shift to refill their coffee.
......

"Server, please remove the dishes now, bring the coffee
and dessert menu and you might check whether the
catheter is still attached, the veal piccata smelled
somewhat off."

pavane

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia




Well I'm sure you were just the perfect waitress at all times. Perhaps you
should start teaching a course on how to wait tables and deal with snooty
customers such as yourself. You could teach new waiters how to read people's
minds so they would know whether a dining party wanted to be left alone during
most of the dinner or if they wanted the wait staff to constantly check to see
if anything else was needed. Perhaps you might try a system where people can
call the waiters on their cell phones. As far as reducing the tip is
concerned, you were totally wrong for doing so. I only reduce the tip if the
waiter is definitely rude or unattentive. I don't consider interrupting a
conversation for two seconds to ask if the dinner is okay to be rude. Was your
conversation really that important? I also don't reduce the tip if there are
problems beyond the waiter's control such as problems in the kitchen.

Craig Welch wrote:

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:44:48 -0400, Nancy Young
wrote:

Rhonda Anderson wrote:

A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.

Did you miss the part where she said it was in a pub?

Did you miss the part where a pub is the *LAST* place you expect to
'take a number'???! I frequent pubs *because* of the personal
attention.

nancy

Craig Welch wrote:

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:44:48 -0400, Nancy Young
wrote:

Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
have the flag system, albeit in other forms g.

Yeah, I just love dining in situations where you need to know the
secret handshake. How do they expect people to know if you don't
tell them?

Did you miss the part where she said they were in a foreign country?

Did you miss the part where that is a really stupid way to assume
people know how to get attention?

You really are dim, aren't you.

nancy

Thanks for all the answers to my question about servers interupting
conversation to ask if everything is alright. I'm answering everyone in
this one post rather than going through with 20 separate posts answering
individually.

Some of you asked what sort of restaurant is was. I was talking
particularly about CPK (California Pizza Kitchen), which is, admittedly,
not fine dining, but the problem has shown itself in every restaurant I
can afford eating in even restaurants considerably nicer than CPK.
There's an exception. When we got the chance to visit France several
years ago, I loved the service in the restaurants. I'd heard about the
French garcon reputation for being snooty, but I didn't find it to be
true at all. Whether the restaurant was quite nice or very informal,
every meal had this wonderful, relaxed, feel about it because the wait
staff left us alone to eat. I've found that also to be true in New York
city.

Some of you gave me a choice between being interrupted while conversing
or not being able to find servers when they're needed. When you put it
that way, the interruption is preferable, but I think that's an unfair
choice. It doesn't have to be one extreme or the other, and I don't
believe getting it right requires supernatural mind reading powers. I'm
asking for common sense. The customers have ordered. They're half
through their meals. They're engaged in lively conversation. The
server comes to the table to fill water glasses. Common sense would
suggest that if the customers needed something, they'd ask the server
for it at that point without the server having to interrupt with the "is
everything O.K." question.

I'm seriously considering the suggestion to tell the server what my
definition of good service is when I sit down. "Hi, my idea of good
service is where you assume that I can read the menu for myself rather
than pointing out your suggestions to me, take the order, bring the
food, fill the water glass as needed and leave alone until you see that
we've stopped eating." I'm trying to practice that in my mind until it
sounds nice, rather than rude. I'll let you know it goes if/when I try it.

(Oh, and some of you need reading comprehension help, but I'm too polite
to point out that I got insults flung at me because the insulter hadn't
read and understood what I wrote in the first place.)

--Lia

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia


My thoughts on this are that the wait staff was just trying to do their
job... In my very brief stint as a waitress (two weeks--I quit for being
overworked--were talkign not getting to leave for 5-6 hours after my shift
was to end, and the restaurant was mouse infested... horrible on the
tips...), it was drilled in to check on the customers unless they told us
they didn't want to be checked on... The staff doesn't have time to be
clarvoyent or to stand and observe your table to wait for the lull in the
convo to ask if you need something... Such behavior would elicit a firm
warning from the manager...

When I waited tables, I felt like I was constantly running back and forth,
trying to make sure all my tables, which were usually an abusrd number were
all at least decently cared for. It's was all about efficiency; I asked
when I was there because I might not be there in a few seconds, and the
guests might have wanted something when i wasn't there...

IMO, it wasn't rude of the waiters. I'm not sure how long it's been since
you've waitressed, but customers are ever more hard to take care of...
Everyone's alwasy "me, me, me, me"... The place I worked was understaffed,
and people had really more tables than they could watch out for... No one
has the time to stand around, try to figure out when the convo is slow, nor
are they mind readers. My suggestion is that maybe when the waitress first
stops by the table to get your drink order that you mention *ahead of time*
that you wish not to be interupted if your doing x, y, or z... Iif you need
her, you'll wave her down (and also if the situation comes up, explain to
the manager your request if the waitress gets a scolding--sometimes, if the
manager sees someone waving for service, they'll come up to the table all
aplogetic that their staff hadn't been checkign on you--this will keep the
waitress out of trouble). Most wait staff will be more than happy to honor
your request--if they know up front! People aren't mind readers... And,
afterall, most are trained to stop and ask rather than be flagged down...

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 15:55:04 -0400, Nancy Young
wrote:

I
think that just not disappearing so that I have to crane my neck
for 10 minutes looking for you when I need another glass of wine
or iced tea, whatever, I think that's better than asking me how
everything is. If you're around and I don't try to catch your
eye, yeah, everything is okay.

Well said.

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 22:27:24 GMT, Richard Periut
wrote:


And the question is not trivial. He/She is making sure he/she gives you
A1 service, so that you can be satisfied and tip he/she good.

If the wait staff really cared about our well being, they
would keep our water glases filled at the very least. In my
experience, an abrupt "Is everything Okay?" is their way of
making up for ignoring us... which may or may not be their
fault. Perhaps management gave them too many tables to be
responsible for and not enough back up staff to keep the
customers, like me, happy.