On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 13:24:08 GMT, Frogleg wrote:

Maybe, in the absence of well-trained waitstaff alert for the
slightest glance in their direction, restaurants could develop a
signal mechanism -- "if you need anything, put up this flag or secure
a napkin to the edge of the table." :-)

It's a good idea but I suspect that all it would take would be one
short-staffed night with tons of customers waving their flags, making
it obvious that there is trouble, to retire the colors!

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

Dave Smith wrote:

My son has wait staff figured out. He claims that they come around and check
that everything is okay when you have a mouthful of food or are busy in
conversation.

I'm reminded of my ex, we were in this expensive fancy restaurant,
so I guess he was on his best manners. Sure enough, he's got a
mouth full of food and the waitress shows up, how is everything.

(laugh) He put up his finger like ... wait ... and proceeded to
finish chewing his food. We both waited breathlessly while he
chewed and swallowed. My god, what is he going to say? Swallow.
Everything is fine, thank you. We both went like, geez! I mean,
I don't think we said it, but that was the reaction. He was just
trying to be polite. Grrrr.

At any rate, my response is probably a little wave and a nod. I
think that just not disappearing so that I have to crane my neck
for 10 minutes looking for you when I need another glass of wine
or iced tea, whatever, I think that's better than asking me how
everything is. If you're around and I don't try to catch your
eye, yeah, everything is okay.

nancy

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia


I think you are being far to picky. You were not the only table she had and
it is a balance for any good waitress to meet the customers needs . Most
people want more coffee or water or a refill on pop or another cocktail etc,
etc. If you are so firm in not being bothered tell the wait person that
after they bring the meal that you will nod or wave when and if you need
her/him.

peace,
Barbara

Z GIRL wrote:
"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia


What? You must have the attention span of a hand ball!

Who the hell cares if someone is going to ask me if things are all
right; just say yes, thank you,and on with your conversation--providing
your short term memory isn't shot.

And the question is not trivial. He/She is making sure he/she gives you
A1 service, so that you can be satisfied and tip he/she good.

Geez! I call your problem, drowning in a glass of water.

Richard


--
"..A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava
beans and a nice chianti..."

Hannibal "The Cannibal"

Silence Of The Lambs 1991

Julia Altshuler wrote:

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)



What one person perceives as rudeness, another
may see as attentiveness. Is it worse to be
interrupted or to search in vain for a server
when you might need something? I'm sure it's
a difficult call for a server who has to keep
track of many tables.

gloria p

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 23:21:12 GMT, Puester
shared the following:

Julia Altshuler wrote:

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)



What one person perceives as rudeness, another
may see as attentiveness. Is it worse to be
interrupted or to search in vain for a server
when you might need something? I'm sure it's
a difficult call for a server who has to keep
track of many tables.

gloria p

The one thing a waiter/waitress can do that really gets on my nerves
is to not bring the check in a timely manner. I *hate* it when I
finish eating and have to wait 10+ minutes for the check. So I don't,
anymore. If they don't have the check on the table within 5 or so
minutes after I'm finished eating, I just get up and walk to the front
desk and tell them I'm finished and am ready to pay. I do that
POLITELY but still I get the most shocked looks from them sometimes
when they ask for my check and I tell them I never got one. I like
them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
alone. I'm not rude if they don't do that, but that's just what's
ideal for me.


--
Travis
FOR SALE: '63 VW Camo Baja... $1000 *FIRM*
http://bugadventures.dyndns.org
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


:wq!

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 19:31:31 -0400, travis
wrote:

The one thing a waiter/waitress can do that really gets on my nerves
is to not bring the check in a timely manner. I *hate* it when I
finish eating and have to wait 10+ minutes for the check. So I don't,
anymore. If they don't have the check on the table within 5 or so
minutes after I'm finished eating, I just get up and walk to the front
desk and tell them I'm finished and am ready to pay. I do that
POLITELY but still I get the most shocked looks from them sometimes
when they ask for my check and I tell them I never got one. I like
them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
alone. I'm not rude if they don't do that, but that's just what's
ideal for me.

It is rather odd. Perhaps you should say "Please bring the check"
when they bring the food so they'll know what you want. I know I'd be
irritated if they plunked the check down while I was still eating,
except at diners, which are just a step above fast food
pay-before-you-eat.

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 00:16:52 GMT, (Curly
Sue) shared the following:

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 19:31:31 -0400, travis
wrote:

The one thing a waiter/waitress can do that really gets on my nerves
is to not bring the check in a timely manner. I *hate* it when I
finish eating and have to wait 10+ minutes for the check. So I don't,
anymore. If they don't have the check on the table within 5 or so
minutes after I'm finished eating, I just get up and walk to the front
desk and tell them I'm finished and am ready to pay. I do that
POLITELY but still I get the most shocked looks from them sometimes
when they ask for my check and I tell them I never got one. I like
them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
alone. I'm not rude if they don't do that, but that's just what's
ideal for me.

It is rather odd. Perhaps you should say "Please bring the check"
when they bring the food so they'll know what you want. I know I'd be
irritated if they plunked the check down while I was still eating,
except at diners, which are just a step above fast food
pay-before-you-eat.

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

I just normally eat quickly. When I finish I feel like "Time to go.
I'd rather be doing things other than sitting here waiting for them to
tell me how much $ I owe them." I ate at a place about 1/2 mile from
my house just yesterday morning for breakfast with my wife. The food
was great, they brought it really soon after we ordered it (I had an
open-faced omlet in a skillet thingie with mushrooms and ham and
cheese and other delicous ingredients on it). The waitress stopped by
once after she put the food on the table and asked if we needed
anything else right then. We didn't, and she left the check. We both
enjoyed our breakfast, and then got up and left when we wanted to
because we didn't have to wait for the check. That was the second
time we ate there and the service was just as good as the first time.
The name of the place is "Courtney's." I'm not sure if it's a chain
or not, but we'll be back again. Maybe that's a good tip, though...
About just saying up front "Please bring me the check" as soon as they
serve the food. I've replied "Just the check." before when the server
comes up and asks how things are and if they can bring me anything
else. "Just the check. Now. Please." :-)


--
Travis
FOR SALE: '63 VW Camo Baja... $1000 *FIRM*
http://bugadventures.dyndns.org
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


:wq!

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:04:26 GMT, Julia Altshuler
wrote:

It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia

Take a little flag on a pole like Panchos and inform the waitress of
your system. You'll raise the flag when you want her. I am being
silly, of course, but it's a good idea. Today i went out to breakfast
and when i ordered, i ordered my check as well and she brought it with
my meal. I tipped her 40%.

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia



Yeahbut......what kinda restaurant was it? One of those 'family'
restaurants? A TGIF or other such place? I ask because one can't expect 5
star service in a 2 star joint.

Jack Waitri

On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 05:45:36 -0500, "jmcquown" wrote:

Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".

Exactly. Most people can manage to stay focused long enough to say "We're okay"
or "Could you bring (whatever is needed)?".

People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather be
interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food. Even
then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to be
clairvoyant.

In article ,
writes:

People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather
be
interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food.
Even
then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to
be
clairvoyant.

But they can be expected to exhibit common courtesy... perhaps every restaurant
table needs a call button, as is installed on hospital beds... then diners can
expect to wait for the next shift to refill their coffee.


---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

No one knows why you're flapping your gums when
they're waiting on you. For all they know you're
griping about your food.
If you weren't such a self centered, prattling, pipsqueak
you would be gracious enough to know this.

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder.

Pray to God you never have to wait tables again. You never know
when fate and Karma will throw your butt in the gutter and take
everything from you. Suck that "sympathetic" teat for all it's
worth, you may need some from others someday.

I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

People who "skin the tip" without letting the server know why
are sneak thieves, so at least you have some scruples.

Craig Welch wrote:


What if the table is enganged in conversation, though?

They wait for a couple of moments. A lull in the conversation will
follow. At that juncture, they can make their request. It's not that
difficult, really.

They might also try using the words "excuse me". :-)

Frogleg wrote in
:



Maybe, in the absence of well-trained waitstaff alert for the
slightest glance in their direction, restaurants could develop a
signal mechanism -- "if you need anything, put up this flag or secure
a napkin to the edge of the table." :-)

A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

We were discussing this system, and one of my colleagues told of his
experience at a restaurant at, IIRC, Singapore airport (perhaps another
airport, my memory's not that good). The table number was on a statue and
when the waiter delivered his meal he tipped the statue over. My colleague,
thinking nothing but to make the table look neat again, righted the statue.
The waiter came over shortly after, asked if everything was OK - on being
assured that it was, he tipped the statue over again and left. My colleague
righted the statue again, almost straight away (I think he was wondering
why the waiter kept tipping it over!) and shortly thereafter the manager
appeared to ask if he was sure that everything was OK. Yes it was, he said,
why?

Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
have the flag system, albeit in other forms g.

--
Rhonda Anderson
Penrith, NSW, Australia